web site hit counter The Squeaky Wheel: Complaining the Right Way to Get Results, Improve Your Relationships, and Enhance Self-Esteem - Ebooks PDF Online
Hot Best Seller

The Squeaky Wheel: Complaining the Right Way to Get Results, Improve Your Relationships, and Enhance Self-Esteem

Availability: Ready to download

Although life was physically more difficult in the days of the horse and carriage, we complained much less back then, and when we did, our complaints were more likely to get results. Today we complain about everything--yet do so with remarkable ineffectiveness. Most of us grumble, vent, and kvetch, neither expecting nor getting meaningful resolutions. Wasting prodigious am Although life was physically more difficult in the days of the horse and carriage, we complained much less back then, and when we did, our complaints were more likely to get results. Today we complain about everything--yet do so with remarkable ineffectiveness. Most of us grumble, vent, and kvetch, neither expecting nor getting meaningful resolutions. Wasting prodigious amounts of time and energy on unproductive complaints can take an emotional and psychological toll on our moods and well-being. We desperately need to relearn the art of complaining effectively. Psychotherapist Guy Winch offers practical and psychologically grounded advice on how to determine what to complain about and what to let slide. He demonstrates how to convey our complaints in ways that encourage cooperation and increase the likelihood of getting resolutions to our dissatisfactions. The principles he spells out apply whether we're dealing with a rude store clerk, a bureaucrat, a coworker, our teenager, or a spouse or partner who's driving us crazy. Complaining constructively can be extremely empowering and it can significantly strengthen our personal, familial, and work relationships. Applying our new-found complaining skills to customer service representatives, corporate leaders, and elected officials increases the odds that our comments will be taken seriously. If we all complained more effectively, squeaky wheels could change our own lives as well as the world for the better.


Compare

Although life was physically more difficult in the days of the horse and carriage, we complained much less back then, and when we did, our complaints were more likely to get results. Today we complain about everything--yet do so with remarkable ineffectiveness. Most of us grumble, vent, and kvetch, neither expecting nor getting meaningful resolutions. Wasting prodigious am Although life was physically more difficult in the days of the horse and carriage, we complained much less back then, and when we did, our complaints were more likely to get results. Today we complain about everything--yet do so with remarkable ineffectiveness. Most of us grumble, vent, and kvetch, neither expecting nor getting meaningful resolutions. Wasting prodigious amounts of time and energy on unproductive complaints can take an emotional and psychological toll on our moods and well-being. We desperately need to relearn the art of complaining effectively. Psychotherapist Guy Winch offers practical and psychologically grounded advice on how to determine what to complain about and what to let slide. He demonstrates how to convey our complaints in ways that encourage cooperation and increase the likelihood of getting resolutions to our dissatisfactions. The principles he spells out apply whether we're dealing with a rude store clerk, a bureaucrat, a coworker, our teenager, or a spouse or partner who's driving us crazy. Complaining constructively can be extremely empowering and it can significantly strengthen our personal, familial, and work relationships. Applying our new-found complaining skills to customer service representatives, corporate leaders, and elected officials increases the odds that our comments will be taken seriously. If we all complained more effectively, squeaky wheels could change our own lives as well as the world for the better.

30 review for The Squeaky Wheel: Complaining the Right Way to Get Results, Improve Your Relationships, and Enhance Self-Esteem

  1. 4 out of 5

    Chason

    Got this as a free book from Random House as part of the first reads giveaways. I am really enjoyed the book. It is well-written and extremely honest. The author, Guy Winch, has a PhD in psychology and the book deals with a new-ish field of pscyhology known as "complaining psychology" or "complaining therapy." I like how the author illustrates the theories behind complaining therapy with anecdotes from his own practice and dealings with various patients. Winch shows how incompetent we have becom Got this as a free book from Random House as part of the first reads giveaways. I am really enjoyed the book. It is well-written and extremely honest. The author, Guy Winch, has a PhD in psychology and the book deals with a new-ish field of pscyhology known as "complaining psychology" or "complaining therapy." I like how the author illustrates the theories behind complaining therapy with anecdotes from his own practice and dealings with various patients. Winch shows how incompetent we have become at complaining effectively as individuals in our modern society and how the resulting negative psychological effects that incompetence results in has created a society that largely feels ineffectual and taken advantage of, resulting in many people being both paranoid and suspicious of the motivations of others in society. I can plainly see these theories and their effects at work in the lives of my own family and friends: the feelings of dissatisfaction with the state of our society as a whole and general feelings of apathy and a lack of control over their own lives. Winch's premise appears to be to teach the reader to understand what lies behind that dissatisfaction and to learn skills to complain effectively and, as a result, improve self-esteem and eliminate feelings of powerlessness.

  2. 5 out of 5

    Alexandra

    really enjoyed - the stories were funny or interesting and the psych around avoiding victimization was well done. Plus the anecdotes really showed the different situations that happen from too much or not enough complaining/ action-taking. Quotes: The combination of these two perceptions and feelings, powerlessness and lack of fairness, often results in lingering feelings of victimization. Victimization as well as humiliation and shame are often extremely damaging to our global self-esteem. Howeve really enjoyed - the stories were funny or interesting and the psych around avoiding victimization was well done. Plus the anecdotes really showed the different situations that happen from too much or not enough complaining/ action-taking. Quotes: The combination of these two perceptions and feelings, powerlessness and lack of fairness, often results in lingering feelings of victimization. Victimization as well as humiliation and shame are often extremely damaging to our global self-esteem. However, complaining, speaking up, and pro-actively following through can reverse the effects of victimization, especially if we are successful in doing so. Taking appropriate action and complaining can literally undo lingering feelings of helplessness and hopelessness more effectively than years of psychotherapy. However, the only thing that can undo feelings of victimization is making sure our complaints get resolved. Signature strengths are those parts of ourselves that are unique, that we can connect with, and that we find extremely fulfilling. They are usually stable traits, talents we can choose either to exercise or to ignore... Seligman recommends we identify the signature strengths with which we feel most comfortable and incorporate them into our lives however and whenever we can. Doing so is one of the keys to experiencing authentic happiness. When starting complaining therapy it is best to gain some practice with effective complaining skills by choosing a simple and comparatively easy to resolve complaint. On chronic complainers: The specific roles we give ourselves in our stories as well as those we give others and the functions and abilities we attribute to ourselves and others in our narratives all shape our perceptions of who we are. By complaining excessively we construct a narrative of our lives in which we inhabit the role of someone who is hurt, helpless, or victimized. The more dominant complaints become in our lives the more we cast ourselves in victim roles. The longer we stay in these roles the more they become our identities. There is a crucial moment - a point of no return - for which we must always remain vigilant. The corner is turned the instant our friends' support turns from compassion to pity. It is turned the moment those around us began to think of us as victims.... It is always extremely detrimental to accept pity from others and accept victimhood. By succumbing to the special attention pity offers us, the lowered expectations, and other secondary gains associated with being objects of others' sorrow we become victims in our own eyes as well as those of others...Pity is toxic to our mental health. Chronic complainers never see themselves as negative. They see the world as negative and themselves as merely reacting to it appropriately. Note: Complaint sandwich: ear opener, complaint, digestive. Positive wrapping around complaint to stop defensive.

  3. 5 out of 5

    Dahlila

    I found this listening book to be a lot more interesting than I originally imagined. (Also, the reader is delightful). It not only talks about the right way to complain, but also the necessity of complaining, complaining correctly. Plus, it really shows what it's like to be a sales clerk, customer server. I find myself trying to pay attention more when dealing with "servers" especially on the phone. I highly recommend this book. Kids should probably be reading it in school! :) I found this listening book to be a lot more interesting than I originally imagined. (Also, the reader is delightful). It not only talks about the right way to complain, but also the necessity of complaining, complaining correctly. Plus, it really shows what it's like to be a sales clerk, customer server. I find myself trying to pay attention more when dealing with "servers" especially on the phone. I highly recommend this book. Kids should probably be reading it in school! :)

  4. 4 out of 5

    Crystal

    A quick and interesting read about complaining that reads more like fiction. Excellent for complete novices, but still interesting for those who know a bit about the subject. Admittedly, there were parts that felt very "after-school special", and other sections where I questioned why they were added to the book. But all the stories helped make the information memorable and easy to digest, and the other content was interesting too. A quick and interesting read about complaining that reads more like fiction. Excellent for complete novices, but still interesting for those who know a bit about the subject. Admittedly, there were parts that felt very "after-school special", and other sections where I questioned why they were added to the book. But all the stories helped make the information memorable and easy to digest, and the other content was interesting too.

  5. 5 out of 5

    Tõnu Vahtra

    I bought this book probably more than 10 years ago but somehow had not got to read it in the meantime. Guy is a psychologist who mainly focuses on couples therapy so there were a lot of examples about that in the book. One of the main phenomena discussed throughout the book was victim mentality, how people drop into it and how to get out/avoid it. Using complaining (or mostly criticizing) only to vent out our emotional pressure is guaranteed to not get us to a better place. Most of the book was I bought this book probably more than 10 years ago but somehow had not got to read it in the meantime. Guy is a psychologist who mainly focuses on couples therapy so there were a lot of examples about that in the book. One of the main phenomena discussed throughout the book was victim mentality, how people drop into it and how to get out/avoid it. Using complaining (or mostly criticizing) only to vent out our emotional pressure is guaranteed to not get us to a better place. Most of the book was about examples and there was actually quite little theory presented. I did like the concept of treating a complaint letter or call as a challenge with the aim to achieve the best possible result. A complaint sandwich: *The top slice of bread consists of an “ear-opener” which is designed to voice the complaint in a way that does not make the recipient automatically go on the defensive. *The “meat” of the sandwich is where your request for resolution is served up more as asking for a favor rather than demanding action. *The bottom slice of bread, called the “digestive,” serves to make the complaint more palatable to the recipient, thereby increasing their motivation to help. “But there is a crucial moment, a point of no return, for which we must always remain vigilant. the corner is turned the instant our friends' support turns from compassion to pity. It is the moment those around us began to think of us as victims. We must catch this transition when it happens because we must refuse their pity. We must reject it as if it is contaminated, because psychologically speaking, it is. Unless we are survivors of truly tragic circumstances or we have gone through authentic and terrible hardships, it is always extremely detrimental to accept pity from others and embrace victimhood. By succumbing to the special attention pity offers us, the convenience of lowered expectations, and other secondary gains associated with being objections of others' sorrow, we become victims in our own eyes as well as those of others.”

  6. 4 out of 5

    Paul Froehlich

    No one likes chronic complainers, but when complaints are done right, they are opportunities to attain improvements, both for the individual and for the public. The thesis of this book “is that our complaints can be resolved, they do matter, and taking action to pursue them is better than falling into passivity and helplessness.” Most people don’t know how to complain effectively, however, and this book provides useful guidance. Common mistakes complainers make are these: * Complaining to someone No one likes chronic complainers, but when complaints are done right, they are opportunities to attain improvements, both for the individual and for the public. The thesis of this book “is that our complaints can be resolved, they do matter, and taking action to pursue them is better than falling into passivity and helplessness.” Most people don’t know how to complain effectively, however, and this book provides useful guidance. Common mistakes complainers make are these: * Complaining to someone who has no authority to fix the problem. * Phrasing requests in the form of complaints, which isn’t a good way to get the help we seek. * Complaining solely to vent emotions, not to seek redress. Research shows that 95 percent of disgruntled consumers never complain to the company responsible for their dissatisfaction. In their personal life, people may fail to share with their partners reasons for dissatisfaction. In both cases, failing to complain to the right person prevents them from attaining a resolution. Companies and individuals won’t change if they don’t hear about the problems. Unhappy customers don’t complain because they assume it won’t do any good. They are engaging in self-fulfilling and self-defeating behavior that leaves them feeling helpless. When the problem is a rude or incompetent employee, customers should realize it often takes several complaints before a bad worker isterminated; ineffective complaining keeps rude people on the job. Winch gives good advice about how to complain: * Never voice more than one complaint at a time. That requires us to decide which one of our dissatisfactions to focus on. * Be sure to identify exactly what we hope to gain by complaining; if the potential gain would be much less than the expected costs of complaining at that time, then it’s best to postpone it. * Recognize that complaints always come with dangers, some of which can’t be anticipated. On the other hand, undercomplaining can also be risky, both psychologically and, when it involves doctors, physically. * Avoid expressing anger in the complaint, no matter how justified the complainer feels the anger is. Anger gets attention, but it distracts from the essence of the complaint. * Since people often postpone complaining until they reach the boiling point, however, the temptation is strong to vent. A better approach than venting is a poker face to hide or suppress our emotions. We can also try reframing the situation in our minds so it has less of an emotional impact on us; there is likely some positive side if we search for it. Reframing or reappraising has been shown more effective than suppression in decreasing negative emotions. * The best way to motivate another person to help us resolve our problem is to present our complaint in as palatable a way as we can. Consider things from the recipient’s point of view People prefer to help those who treat them respectfully, while surreptitiously dragging their feet for those who insult them. * All of us tend to respond defensively when confronted with complaints. Consequently, “a compliment ought to always precede a complaint, where one is possible,” advised Mark Twain, “because it softens resentment and insures for the complaint a courteous and gentle reception." * Next comes the meat of the complaint and the request for redress. * The final slice of bread should be a final spoonful of sugar that makes the medicine go down and reduces the likelihood of our complaint being dismissed outright. * Make eye contact, though not with an angry glare. * Remember that the complaint is actually an appeal for cooperation. When people are in a good mood, they’re more likely to be cooperative. One way to elicit receptivity is to offer an authentic smile. This approach is useful when dealing both in the marketplace and in the home. The four common mistakes in communicating with loved ones are generalized criticism (instead of addressing a specific issue), defensiveness, withdrawal, and contempt. Winch recommends that parents limit complaints and directives to no more than one-fifth of their communication with teens, who tend to withdraw or get emotional in the face of repeated complaining. Effective complaining strengthens relationships, Winch says. How a couple handles complaints is a good barometer of the health of their relationship. How we receive complaints from loved ones matters. Winch urges us to resist our natural inclination to defensiveness. He recommends we always allow the partner to finish speaking without interruption, even when we may disagree. People complain when they are angry, frustrated or disappointed, and cutting them off in midstream would only make them more so. Allowing them to vent can make it easier to calm down later when it’s our turn to present our view. Being sympathetic to our partner’s distress may lead them to reciprocate. When responding, start by repeating their complaint. This indicates how well we listen and understand. It reflects respect for their view and provides emotional validation. It gives them opportunity to correct our (mis)understanding, which prevents us from arguing about the wrong thing. After doing the above, we can disagree if appropriate. Handling complaints to someone’s satisfaction increases loyalty, whether to a company or a partner. People feel less frustration and more in control of their lives when they can obtain redress for their complaints. Redress is more likely when we follow Winch’s rules. ###

  7. 4 out of 5

    Meg

    Let me save you the time: don't be a jerk to customer service associates, their lives are hard enough. Let me save you the time: don't be a jerk to customer service associates, their lives are hard enough.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Eric Montag

    Good book. It provided enough of a variety of topics so it didn't come across as repeating the same material over and over. The author talked about complaining effectively by using a "complaint sandwich" to put people in the mood to help solve problems, rather than go on the defensive. The book covered subjects such as complaining to call center employees (businesses), complaining as social activism, and complaining to loved ones. If you've ever felt that you complain about something and just en Good book. It provided enough of a variety of topics so it didn't come across as repeating the same material over and over. The author talked about complaining effectively by using a "complaint sandwich" to put people in the mood to help solve problems, rather than go on the defensive. The book covered subjects such as complaining to call center employees (businesses), complaining as social activism, and complaining to loved ones. If you've ever felt that you complain about something and just end up wasting your time because you don't get the results that you want, this book can provide some good food for thought.

  9. 4 out of 5

    Susan

    Very clever, witty, writer. Enjoyed this book immensely and gathered many tips on how to complain effectively. Sorry that the book is on hold and have to return it already. I will take it out again later and possibly do a speech on this at Toastmasters.

  10. 4 out of 5

    Guy Winch

    Watch The Squeaky Wheel Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TgoDC... I truly hope people enjoy reading The Squeaky Wheel as much as I enjoyed writing it. Watch The Squeaky Wheel Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TgoDC... I truly hope people enjoy reading The Squeaky Wheel as much as I enjoyed writing it.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Donna Parker

    While interesting a lot of the information seemed knew that, knew that type of thing, maybe I just read too much...or I'm squweak-key, oh yeah. While interesting a lot of the information seemed knew that, knew that type of thing, maybe I just read too much...or I'm squweak-key, oh yeah.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Unwisely

    This seems like a useful book, but, man, about the first half felt like padding. (Did you know that people feel bad or get stressed from unresolved complaints?) There was an awful lot of reference to a thing....I'll address that later. Like, why not now? It's not like you were saying anything important. He also seems to have a greater tolerance for tilting at windmills than most people - he criticizes someone for giving up after they had the cable company out to his place *twice* and failed to re This seems like a useful book, but, man, about the first half felt like padding. (Did you know that people feel bad or get stressed from unresolved complaints?) There was an awful lot of reference to a thing....I'll address that later. Like, why not now? It's not like you were saying anything important. He also seems to have a greater tolerance for tilting at windmills than most people - he criticizes someone for giving up after they had the cable company out to his place *twice* and failed to resolve it. "Only twice!" he says, as if taking the day off work to sit around and wait for the cable guy who then didn't fix anything was trivial. So. He has maybe a couple chapters of useful advice in there, most of which is common sense. (Persistence, don't write letters when you're angry, compliment sandwich.) And he did inspire me to bitch about a bad customer service experience I had, which actually was resolved, so yay? But mostly not as exciting as I guess I secretly hoped. Alas.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Victoria

    As always Guy Winch has a way of making sense out of our shame, passivity, and other vulnerable emotions that naturally emerge when we are not equipped with the right tools to process them in a healthy way. Compassionate and thought-provoking, Winch emphasizes with our frustrations when we are met with inattentive cable company representatives and other related situations where we spend a lot of time "venting" about them and wishing we could change them. We talk a lot about the need to be better As always Guy Winch has a way of making sense out of our shame, passivity, and other vulnerable emotions that naturally emerge when we are not equipped with the right tools to process them in a healthy way. Compassionate and thought-provoking, Winch emphasizes with our frustrations when we are met with inattentive cable company representatives and other related situations where we spend a lot of time "venting" about them and wishing we could change them. We talk a lot about the need to be better in spite of our circumstances. Winch is one of those rare therapists out there who actually teaches us how to do so. Without giving too much away, the premise has to do with the "complaint sandwich", which is as unappetizing as it sounds but something we'd all be better off in our adult lives if we learned how to properly make.

  14. 4 out of 5

    Melinda

    Please read this book. Because Complaining is misunderstood it is often either underused or misused in our society, to our great detriment. I am so glad I read this. It was the missing toolkit in my arsenal of communication skills. Furthermore, after reading this book I realize that Complaining is misunderstood it is often either underused or misused in our society, to our great detriment.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Jevgenij

    I am surprised how the author managed to write such a long book around the subject of complaints. Unfortunately among all the anecdotes and topics, which are very loosely related to complaining, there is very little actually useful information. And the author does not understand how couples and attraction work.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Huda

    Brilliant, interesting and funny. Very insightful and most needed in this day and time when so many things around are less in quality where they should be and we are getting more and more frustrated and bad at expressing our frustration. Provides a road map to get out of this helpless cycle.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Sherri

    I got so much out of this book than I expected. It’s a fascinating new way to approach things that bother you, not just ‘customer service’ complaints, but in your personal life as well. It’s a book I’ll be referring to many times in the future!

  18. 5 out of 5

    Alfred

    Most of us complain... a lot. Guy has given some tips on making it count. Well written and concise.

  19. 5 out of 5

    John

    Guy Winch gives insightful cues on how to effectively resolve issues rather than unproductively complaining about them to the wrong people.

  20. 5 out of 5

    Anupam

    Very pragmatic strategies to deal with uncomfortable situations and make real change while helping others as well.

  21. 4 out of 5

    Keven Wang

    Must read for everyone with or without social media accounts

  22. 4 out of 5

    Victoria

    I listened to _The Squeaky Wheel_ by Guy Winch via Libby/Overdrive through my public library. This book helped me understand how and why to complain and receive complaints more effectively and sanely. Now the test is to watch me put it in practice, I guess

  23. 5 out of 5

    Robin

    I signed up for the firstreads giveaway on this one because the title made me laugh. Period. I thought "I don't really have complaining problems, but with a title like that this could still be interesting." Well, I was right about the second part. It was very interesting. And I must admit that I whine to friends and family in the name of "venting" just as much as anyone else, but I clam up about my complaints when I have any opportunity to actually DO something about them. Winch does an excellent I signed up for the firstreads giveaway on this one because the title made me laugh. Period. I thought "I don't really have complaining problems, but with a title like that this could still be interesting." Well, I was right about the second part. It was very interesting. And I must admit that I whine to friends and family in the name of "venting" just as much as anyone else, but I clam up about my complaints when I have any opportunity to actually DO something about them. Winch does an excellent job with this book, basing his method on well known and respected psychological theories- backed by extensive research. But he presents it all in a way that us non-Ph.D.'s can easily access. Each concept is presented with an example of some situation he has personally encountered in his years of practicing and teaching the art of complaining, in both his personal life as well as his professional career. I frequently had to explain to my husband why I was laughing aloud, since Winch has an unexepected sense of humor woven all throughout this book. I also frequently wished I'd had this book in my hands three years ago. I might have saved my friends and family from two long years of hearing me complain about the same problem that I thought I was powerless to change. I now know better, and can hopefully save them from future fruitless whining sessions. I would recommend this to anyone who has identified a problem in their lives-big or small- but feels powerless to change it.

  24. 4 out of 5

    Kate Woods Walker

    OK, I'll admit it. I am addicted to self-help books like this one. I like the fact that they are usually one-day books, simple and easy enough to be digested in one or two sittings. I like the fact that often I glean knowledge about tangential topics (in The Squeaky Wheel, for example, I learned a few fascinating facts about humorist Josh Billings). And I like the opportunity to learn even a tiny bit about how to be a better person. Guy Winch has reframed a lot of standard psychology how-to into OK, I'll admit it. I am addicted to self-help books like this one. I like the fact that they are usually one-day books, simple and easy enough to be digested in one or two sittings. I like the fact that often I glean knowledge about tangential topics (in The Squeaky Wheel, for example, I learned a few fascinating facts about humorist Josh Billings). And I like the opportunity to learn even a tiny bit about how to be a better person. Guy Winch has reframed a lot of standard psychology how-to into his "complaint" model, and for the most part, his advice is good. I take exception, however, to a multi-paragraph rant against any acknowledgement of real victimhood. He says admitting victimhood is akin to self-immolation of the soul, and sorry, he's wrong. There ARE crimes of the heart, crimes of the soul and everyday crimes besides. These crimes leave victims. And victims shouldn't be re-victimized by the denial of professionals who are, ostensibly, in business to help them. But as far as the limited scope of this book goes, it's a fine way to pass some time and learn a few things about being a more effective agent of change.

  25. 4 out of 5

    Carol Brannigan

    There are few books in which I would recommend to anyone and this one falls into that category. I think everyone should read this and it would be even better if we all put it's principles into practice. Too much of life gets filled with things beyond our control but learning the art of complaining in a productive manner can actually cause change to happen. This is a very easy and short read packed full of psychological tidbits as to why we complain the way we do and how to adjust that to make it There are few books in which I would recommend to anyone and this one falls into that category. I think everyone should read this and it would be even better if we all put it's principles into practice. Too much of life gets filled with things beyond our control but learning the art of complaining in a productive manner can actually cause change to happen. This is a very easy and short read packed full of psychological tidbits as to why we complain the way we do and how to adjust that to make it productive. There was enough humor thrown into to also make it interesting and fun to read. The reason I didn't give it a full five stars is simply because I would've liked to have seen more examples of specific complaints broken down into the "complaint sandwich". The tools are provided but more examples always help yours truly. This will be the book I hope to get several copies to pass out to friends. Happy complaining.

  26. 4 out of 5

    Ana

    This was surprisingly good. I expected to skim a few chapters and move on but I enjoyed this enough to read the whole thing. The author was funny and had a relatively simple message about complaining. First of all he didn't tell his readers not to complain and actually advocated for complaining-albeit in a different way than they normally do. According to Guy Winch, the people who are jerks and complain ineffectively are not the ones who get results. He advocates for a balance between kindness a This was surprisingly good. I expected to skim a few chapters and move on but I enjoyed this enough to read the whole thing. The author was funny and had a relatively simple message about complaining. First of all he didn't tell his readers not to complain and actually advocated for complaining-albeit in a different way than they normally do. According to Guy Winch, the people who are jerks and complain ineffectively are not the ones who get results. He advocates for a balance between kindness and assertiveness which is a bandwagon I can jump on. Don't expect anything too technical but rather a reminder that speaking your thoughts calmly and directly to someone who might help you is better for you and better for them. He also had a nice chapter about why not to be a jerk to service people over the phone.

  27. 5 out of 5

    Faithann

    The writing style was fantastic. Guy Winch incorporated stories in with his facts in a way that actually made reading this book enjoyable. I have read self help books in the past that read more like a school text book. Guy was so subtle in his teaching method, that at first I didn't even realize that he had been telling me how to do it. I kept waiting for the text book feel to come in and tell me how to complain, and it never happened. I tend to have the personality, that I don't like to be told The writing style was fantastic. Guy Winch incorporated stories in with his facts in a way that actually made reading this book enjoyable. I have read self help books in the past that read more like a school text book. Guy was so subtle in his teaching method, that at first I didn't even realize that he had been telling me how to do it. I kept waiting for the text book feel to come in and tell me how to complain, and it never happened. I tend to have the personality, that I don't like to be told that my way is the wrong way, and this book, although it pointed out what I was doing wrong, didn't make me feel that way. I would recommend this book to others. Will be interesting to try out some of these techniques in my daily life, and see what kind of results I can get.

  28. 5 out of 5

    Gloria

    Heard about via GoodReads FirstReads. Well, I ended up liking this book. It had a few good references / terms that I can pursue for some school work, and while most it was common sense, it was enjoyable and had some good aphorisms. In particular, I liked Gottman/Winch's Four (or Five) Horses of the Apocalypse (in terms of marital, but in reality, any, relationship), and Winch's thoughts about being a "teenager whisperer." I found it interesting that in his book complaint was non-toxic, but ciriti Heard about via GoodReads FirstReads. Well, I ended up liking this book. It had a few good references / terms that I can pursue for some school work, and while most it was common sense, it was enjoyable and had some good aphorisms. In particular, I liked Gottman/Winch's Four (or Five) Horses of the Apocalypse (in terms of marital, but in reality, any, relationship), and Winch's thoughts about being a "teenager whisperer." I found it interesting that in his book complaint was non-toxic, but ciriticism was never constructive, so beware. I do think that the short section on societal ills and the culture of complaint are perhaps a little hyperbolic---there are legitimate reasons for people to complain (structural issues) and not just personal failing at reframing. Otherwise, good enough.

  29. 4 out of 5

    Patty

    I do appreciate the gift of this book and the opportunity to be among its first readers. However, I have to agree with the other commentator about the jarring note of the complaining gone wrong, but if you make it past that section, the remainder of the book does actually have some good pointers on how to effectively assert oneself gracefully and successfully complain. The stories of complaining activists were quite inspiring. I would like to see this book in a different format. Page after page I do appreciate the gift of this book and the opportunity to be among its first readers. However, I have to agree with the other commentator about the jarring note of the complaining gone wrong, but if you make it past that section, the remainder of the book does actually have some good pointers on how to effectively assert oneself gracefully and successfully complain. The stories of complaining activists were quite inspiring. I would like to see this book in a different format. Page after page of basically the same exact layout was very tiring on the eyes. A larger edition, with shaded boxes of real-life examples, a change of font, perhaps with the components of the "complaint sandwich" in bold would appeal more to the self-help audience that this book hopes to hook.

  30. 4 out of 5

    Wan Shoo

    This book is definitely a must read for those who feels shy or sometimes ignorant to care about complaining their dissatisfaction. Winch uses case study, with skillful story telling plot to guide us into the mind of those characters and provides a supposed situation for a change of the end results, supported with real life examples. It is not a book that feeds you with all the boring tips to become a well-greased squeaky wheel but it is well-polished with interesting facts and humors that enligh This book is definitely a must read for those who feels shy or sometimes ignorant to care about complaining their dissatisfaction. Winch uses case study, with skillful story telling plot to guide us into the mind of those characters and provides a supposed situation for a change of the end results, supported with real life examples. It is not a book that feeds you with all the boring tips to become a well-greased squeaky wheel but it is well-polished with interesting facts and humors that enlighten you that all these annoyances happen in our daily lives, to everyone. So, if you want to have your squeaky wheel greased, read this book to avoid yourself being the bus stop ranters, making a scene of yourself.

Add a review

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Loading...
We use cookies to give you the best online experience. By using our website you agree to our use of cookies in accordance with our cookie policy.