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Children Learn What They Live

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The timeless New York Times bestselling guide to parenting that shows the power of inspiring values through example.   A unique handbook to raising children with a compassionate, steady hand—and to giving them the support and confidence they need to thrive. Expanding on her universally loved poem “Children Learn What They Live,” Dorothy Law Nolte, with psychotherapist Rach The timeless New York Times bestselling guide to parenting that shows the power of inspiring values through example.   A unique handbook to raising children with a compassionate, steady hand—and to giving them the support and confidence they need to thrive. Expanding on her universally loved poem “Children Learn What They Live,” Dorothy Law Nolte, with psychotherapist Rachel Harris, reveals how parenting by example—by showing, not just telling—instills positive, true values in children that they will carry with them throughout their lives. Addressing issues of security, self-worth, tolerance, honesty, fear, respect, fairness, patience, and more, this book of rare common sense will help a new generation of parents find their own parenting wisdom—and draw out their child’s immense inner resources.   If children live with criticism they learn to condemn. If children live with sharing, they learn generosity. If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.   And more wisdom.  


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The timeless New York Times bestselling guide to parenting that shows the power of inspiring values through example.   A unique handbook to raising children with a compassionate, steady hand—and to giving them the support and confidence they need to thrive. Expanding on her universally loved poem “Children Learn What They Live,” Dorothy Law Nolte, with psychotherapist Rach The timeless New York Times bestselling guide to parenting that shows the power of inspiring values through example.   A unique handbook to raising children with a compassionate, steady hand—and to giving them the support and confidence they need to thrive. Expanding on her universally loved poem “Children Learn What They Live,” Dorothy Law Nolte, with psychotherapist Rachel Harris, reveals how parenting by example—by showing, not just telling—instills positive, true values in children that they will carry with them throughout their lives. Addressing issues of security, self-worth, tolerance, honesty, fear, respect, fairness, patience, and more, this book of rare common sense will help a new generation of parents find their own parenting wisdom—and draw out their child’s immense inner resources.   If children live with criticism they learn to condemn. If children live with sharing, they learn generosity. If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.   And more wisdom.  

30 review for Children Learn What They Live

  1. 4 out of 5

    Nikkilee

    Children Learn What They Live By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D. If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn. If children live with hostility, they learn to fight. If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive. If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves. If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy. If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy. If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty. If children live with encouragement, they le Children Learn What They Live By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D. If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn. If children live with hostility, they learn to fight. If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive. If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves. If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy. If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy. If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty. If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence. If children live with tolerance, they learn patience. If children live with praise, they learn appreciation. If children live with acceptance, they learn to love. If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves. If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal. If children live with sharing, they learn generosity. If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness. If children live with fairness, they learn justice. If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect. If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them. If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live. I remember when I was a young child, my mother had a wooden scroll (you know the kind they used to print calendars on back in the day) in our kitchen of this poem that Dorothy Law Nolte originally wrote back in the mid-fifties. Those words stuck with me, and it is no coincidence that I have a small copy of the same poem on my refrigerator door and it has been there since I had my son who is now 5 years old. I just keep reading the poem (and now this book) whenever I have doubts about my parenting skills or a spur-of-the-moment decision that I have made as a parent. I don't know if it is psychological, but I've found that it seems to "keep me on task", so to speak, with my ultimate agenda to raise a morally-conscious young man. So many parents get caught up in the day to day responsibilities of raising a child, such as feeding, bathing, clothing, sheltering, etc. that a lot of the actual "emotional raising of a person" gets lost. I've found that this book is a good "how-to guide" for any parent who is interested in helping to develop the moral compass and emotional well-being of their children. If you are a parent, i recommend that you get a copy of this book today, or better yet, you can download a copy of the poem on the internet, and apply it to the everyday teachings of your children!

  2. 5 out of 5

    Julie

    Good and reinforcing of what I know to be true, makes me feel more confidant that I am a good mother. Provide the best example that you possibly can for your children and then let them be themselves and trust in that.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Kara Larson

    I thought this book was extremely practical not just in the various acts of parenting described but also in specific ways to implement the principles including suggested wording. Not written with a Christian worldview, so read with discernment, but so many biblical principles here that a Christian parent could easily support these concepts with scripture. “Children are continuously learning from their parents. Your children are paying attention to you. Perhaps not what you tell them to do, but c I thought this book was extremely practical not just in the various acts of parenting described but also in specific ways to implement the principles including suggested wording. Not written with a Christian worldview, so read with discernment, but so many biblical principles here that a Christian parent could easily support these concepts with scripture. “Children are continuously learning from their parents. Your children are paying attention to you. Perhaps not what you tell them to do, but certainly to what they actually see you do. You are their first and most powerful role models. Parents can strive to teach certain values, but children will inevitably absorb whatever values are transmitted through their parents’ behavior, feelings, and attitudes in everyday living. How you express and manage your own freezings becomes a model that will be remembered by your children throughout their lifetimes.” “It is what we do with our children that counts, much more than what we say or even what we believe. Our values are transmitted across the generations through our behavior. Our children witness and absorb the way we live together day to day, and what they learn serves as a model for them all their lives, affecting not only them, but their children. We can think of our loving actions as a kind of chain of love that stretches both forward and back across the generations.”

  4. 5 out of 5

    Lacey Louwagie

    A pretty basic primer on the philosophy of "positive parenting," with lots of anecdotes (fictional or true? unclear) about how to do things "right" and a few examples of how to do things "wrong." More an inspirational tome than concrete guidance, with very little evidence or research to back up the assertions. Not much new for someone already on board with the parenting style advocated here, but it's an easy, accessible read, and I'm not going to dis anything too bad that helps people be more co A pretty basic primer on the philosophy of "positive parenting," with lots of anecdotes (fictional or true? unclear) about how to do things "right" and a few examples of how to do things "wrong." More an inspirational tome than concrete guidance, with very little evidence or research to back up the assertions. Not much new for someone already on board with the parenting style advocated here, but it's an easy, accessible read, and I'm not going to dis anything too bad that helps people be more compassionate, thoughtful parents.

  5. 5 out of 5

    Victoria

    This book was given as a gift for the birth of my first child, and I found it was very grounding, and not preachy and very motivating as a new parent. As a teacher I also see how the advice in these pages can be translated to my classroom. A great book for parents, and for anyone who works with or around children of all ages!

  6. 5 out of 5

    Kaori

    I don't have kids but I was curious about this book, I think this is a very interesting book that talks about kid's psychology and even though I'm not a mother I think this will help me in the future to understand more about kids. It is very important to raise a kid properly and this book talks about it. What they experience in their childhood will follow them through adulthood and that's why is important to know the correct patterns of raising a child and you can find them in this book. So even I don't have kids but I was curious about this book, I think this is a very interesting book that talks about kid's psychology and even though I'm not a mother I think this will help me in the future to understand more about kids. It is very important to raise a kid properly and this book talks about it. What they experience in their childhood will follow them through adulthood and that's why is important to know the correct patterns of raising a child and you can find them in this book. So even if you don't have kids now, reading this book will help you understand them.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Jared Pangier

    Based on Dorothy Law Nolte's poem of the same name, Children Learn What They Live expands each couplet into a magical recipe for future generations. A book written for parents and equally inspirational for passionate educators, Nolte reminds us all of the power of influence and the need to lead by example. This book of not-so-common common sense urges parents to raise their kids with positivity, praise, truthfulness, and friendliness--creating an environment of trust and a world of difference in Based on Dorothy Law Nolte's poem of the same name, Children Learn What They Live expands each couplet into a magical recipe for future generations. A book written for parents and equally inspirational for passionate educators, Nolte reminds us all of the power of influence and the need to lead by example. This book of not-so-common common sense urges parents to raise their kids with positivity, praise, truthfulness, and friendliness--creating an environment of trust and a world of difference in who our future children become. Every parent and teacher should read and live out this book. Every citizen of the world, for that matter.

  8. 5 out of 5

    Nonno Kato

    As I scanned through the contents of this book, I began to wonder how much this book would mean to me by teaching us how we could learn through experiences, whether positive or negative. We may not realise HOW we have become who we are, but with these acceptances, fairness, friendliness, fear, criticism, pity, jealousy, tolerance, encouragement and so on that we experience can teach us how to live. Indeed with encouragement we learn confidence, but what about jealousy? well then we learn to feel As I scanned through the contents of this book, I began to wonder how much this book would mean to me by teaching us how we could learn through experiences, whether positive or negative. We may not realise HOW we have become who we are, but with these acceptances, fairness, friendliness, fear, criticism, pity, jealousy, tolerance, encouragement and so on that we experience can teach us how to live. Indeed with encouragement we learn confidence, but what about jealousy? well then we learn to feel envy. Again, this book teaches us that every events that we encounter could build up and stimulate one's growth..

  9. 5 out of 5

    Megan Close Zavala

    What a beautiful book! I stumbled upon this (serendipitously) at a library book sale and finally started reading it last month. This is the best parenting book I’ve read so far. The author has such a kind, comforting voice, free of judgment and full of wisdom. Each chapter is simple and yet profound, and she does a great job breaking down things into manageable steps, empowering you and making you feel as if you too could be an amazing parent. I am sad the book ended; I’ll miss her encouragement What a beautiful book! I stumbled upon this (serendipitously) at a library book sale and finally started reading it last month. This is the best parenting book I’ve read so far. The author has such a kind, comforting voice, free of judgment and full of wisdom. Each chapter is simple and yet profound, and she does a great job breaking down things into manageable steps, empowering you and making you feel as if you too could be an amazing parent. I am sad the book ended; I’ll miss her encouragement and stories.

  10. 4 out of 5

    Tylerclem

    This book was something that I never read before. It's like a handbook to raising children with a compassionate, confident they need, and how parents and others can give them support. It was quite interesting reading this kind of topic, and I was able to find some connections between this book and myself. While I read this book, I look back at my past and how did I learn from the environment that I grew up. "The way we raise our children today will directly impact who they become as adults." thi This book was something that I never read before. It's like a handbook to raising children with a compassionate, confident they need, and how parents and others can give them support. It was quite interesting reading this kind of topic, and I was able to find some connections between this book and myself. While I read this book, I look back at my past and how did I learn from the environment that I grew up. "The way we raise our children today will directly impact who they become as adults." this is a quote from this book that I found. Who I am today is coming from my past, and my future is down on myself today how I learn and live each day. I like this book :)

  11. 5 out of 5

    Courtney Cantrell

    Great little book packed full of excellent, thoughtful points on parenting. I love that it's structured after Nolte's heartfelt poem. This is one of those books I wish I'd read before becoming a parent. It's elegant, simple, compelling, and encouraging. I'd recommend to anyone who's considering having children or already has them. 4 of 5 stars because some updating would be helpful. Great little book packed full of excellent, thoughtful points on parenting. I love that it's structured after Nolte's heartfelt poem. This is one of those books I wish I'd read before becoming a parent. It's elegant, simple, compelling, and encouraging. I'd recommend to anyone who's considering having children or already has them. 4 of 5 stars because some updating would be helpful.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Guilherme

    It's kind of obvious and nothing super original. But even then, it's such a beautiful read that lives up to the original poem. The kind of book that serves as an excellent reminder of what kind of parent you want to be. Very nice read. It's kind of obvious and nothing super original. But even then, it's such a beautiful read that lives up to the original poem. The kind of book that serves as an excellent reminder of what kind of parent you want to be. Very nice read.

  13. 5 out of 5

    James Lankford

    Great book for giving your children roots and wings to prepare them for when they grow up and set sail on their own. I wish I had read this a long time ago!

  14. 4 out of 5

    Alison

    Very sound and practical advice, by the author of the poem with the same name. Everyone could gain wisdom by reading this book. This will surely be a classic for many generations ahead.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Miki Saiki

    Workman publishing : New York Auther: Dorothy Law Nolte 7words: inspiring value children parents relationship growth hospitality 5hours What's good about this book? Of course I haven't had kids yet and havent even thought of it, but this book tells me how to treat students who cannot perform well. We often meet some students who do something wrong or make mistakes. This book teaches readers not only the way to raise children but also the way to treat complicated students' feeling. Moreover, we learn how Workman publishing : New York Auther: Dorothy Law Nolte 7words: inspiring value children parents relationship growth hospitality 5hours What's good about this book? Of course I haven't had kids yet and havent even thought of it, but this book tells me how to treat students who cannot perform well. We often meet some students who do something wrong or make mistakes. This book teaches readers not only the way to raise children but also the way to treat complicated students' feeling. Moreover, we learn how to manage our immatured feelings. We sometimes have kids-like emotions which is hard to manage and handle. This book which tells us how to communicate with immatured kids teaches us how to develop self-esteem in our daily life. Do I recommend this book to my friends? Why? I recommend this book to all my friends who will be related to kids in their future. No matter what kind of relationship they have, the way to build up relationship with kids is very universal, I think. To relate to kids, a lot of patience is required. This book teaches readers how to control their patience building up the relationship with kids.

  16. 4 out of 5

    Melania Andrisan

    This is a book that reminds you the values you already know, with examples and explanations. I am sure it is a book which I will read from time to time just to remind me that I need to be calm, think positively and learn to repeat several times till the action will become a routine. And here are the 10 Things that I learned from it: http://readlearnlovedo.tumblr.com/pos... This is a book that reminds you the values you already know, with examples and explanations. I am sure it is a book which I will read from time to time just to remind me that I need to be calm, think positively and learn to repeat several times till the action will become a routine. And here are the 10 Things that I learned from it: http://readlearnlovedo.tumblr.com/pos...

  17. 5 out of 5

    Doug Muterspaugh

    This book really helps you to understand how your actions can affect your child. After reading this book, dealing with children's issues is much less stressful and your results are visible (and closer to your desired results!). Thank you for a really nice book that you can read over and over during your entire life. A must have for every parent. This book really helps you to understand how your actions can affect your child. After reading this book, dealing with children's issues is much less stressful and your results are visible (and closer to your desired results!). Thank you for a really nice book that you can read over and over during your entire life. A must have for every parent.

  18. 4 out of 5

    Maya Kenova

    The book provides valuable tips on how to approach different situations most parents (even teachers) face with regards to kids. It features short examples, as case studies, that help the reader understand the validity of the arguments. This book is recommended for parents, but also teachers of all age levels.

  19. 4 out of 5

    Lorrie

    So far, so good. This is a book I read when the kiddos were very young. However, it still applies to the present. As social creatures, we are subject to change as do our ideas and perceptions which evolve from our experiences and willingness to adapt to those changes.

  20. 5 out of 5

    Michelle Beginandendwithbooks

    While the ideas are pretty much common sense, the book holds excellent reminders and plenty of specific examples. It was a quick read and a worthwhile reminder to be very cognizant of my actions and words around and towards the kids.

  21. 5 out of 5

    Michelle Savage

    This book is highly recommended for all new parents to help inspire values in children, and understanding the negative effects that inappropriate parenting will have on a child long-term. A must read!

  22. 5 out of 5

    Stella

    This is a great book on child development.

  23. 5 out of 5

    Lulu

    i learned that as a parent, u have to be incredibly responsible.thats it!!

  24. 4 out of 5

    Marcia

    excellent to read before we make any more mistakes raising our kiddies!

  25. 5 out of 5

    Echo

    Read this when I was expecting my first child and I love the message.

  26. 5 out of 5

    Tara

    Another great resource for every day parenting. This has all kinds of excellent advice for raising a child in a loving way. Again, every mother should read this! (Thank you, Emily.)

  27. 5 out of 5

    Ashley

    This is a really good book!

  28. 5 out of 5

    Lala

    WOULD REALLY LOVE TO HAVE THIS BOOK!!

  29. 4 out of 5

    Misty Broqi

    Loved this book so much I bought it. Great for any parents out there that want the best for their kids.

  30. 5 out of 5

    Alyn

    great parenting advice

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