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New Moan: The Twishite Saga - A Parody

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"I want to bite you, Heffa. I want to bite you very hard. I'll be gentle, I promise. If you really loved me, you'd let me."   Heffa Lump is just a typical pale 17-year-old who doubts that anyone will ever see her true beauty, and needs to grow up and get a life. Fortunately, the Spatula Academy of Fictional Excellence specializes in helping characters from k "I want to bite you, Heffa. I want to bite you very hard. I'll be gentle, I promise. If you really loved me, you'd let me."   Heffa Lump is just a typical pale 17-year-old who doubts that anyone will ever see her true beauty, and needs to grow up and get a life. Fortunately, the Spatula Academy of Fictional Excellence specializes in helping characters from kids’ books cross over into adult fiction. Unfortunately, she’s distracted from her attempts to leave adolescence behind when she meets Teddy Kelledy—an impossibly gorgeous boy who eats rare meat, is super-strong, and never goes out in daylight. Could he just maybe be a vampire? (Hint: totally.) Soon, Heffa finds herself harassed by supernatural forces on all sides. Will she be able to narrate herself out of danger? Will Teddy learn that being with a girl doesn't always have to be about biting? And what will happen when the New Moan rises? A tale of first love, painful longing, and even more painful pointy teeth, New Moan is a hilarious parody of the phenomenon that is Stephenie Meyer's Twilight saga.


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"I want to bite you, Heffa. I want to bite you very hard. I'll be gentle, I promise. If you really loved me, you'd let me."   Heffa Lump is just a typical pale 17-year-old who doubts that anyone will ever see her true beauty, and needs to grow up and get a life. Fortunately, the Spatula Academy of Fictional Excellence specializes in helping characters from k "I want to bite you, Heffa. I want to bite you very hard. I'll be gentle, I promise. If you really loved me, you'd let me."   Heffa Lump is just a typical pale 17-year-old who doubts that anyone will ever see her true beauty, and needs to grow up and get a life. Fortunately, the Spatula Academy of Fictional Excellence specializes in helping characters from kids’ books cross over into adult fiction. Unfortunately, she’s distracted from her attempts to leave adolescence behind when she meets Teddy Kelledy—an impossibly gorgeous boy who eats rare meat, is super-strong, and never goes out in daylight. Could he just maybe be a vampire? (Hint: totally.) Soon, Heffa finds herself harassed by supernatural forces on all sides. Will she be able to narrate herself out of danger? Will Teddy learn that being with a girl doesn't always have to be about biting? And what will happen when the New Moan rises? A tale of first love, painful longing, and even more painful pointy teeth, New Moan is a hilarious parody of the phenomenon that is Stephenie Meyer's Twilight saga.

30 review for New Moan: The Twishite Saga - A Parody

  1. 4 out of 5

    Laura

    DNF at page 22. It had some quirky comments, but it was TOO over the top for me to actually enjoy. It did point out a some things that authors do “wrong” like only describing 2 classes when their character is a high school student. This genre might just not be for me, so I will not rate this.

  2. 4 out of 5

    Melanie

    I've always loved Parody's whether they be films or books and this book was no exception. From the first pages I was laughing, sometimes with tears in my eyes! The book follows the story of Heffa Lump whom is so self centered you can't but help note her reactions in the early book to those of Bella in Twilight but for totally different reasons. Teddy was so naive and I loved the 'special' part about vampires not being able to go out in the sunlight and the reason behind it (I shall not add the sp I've always loved Parody's whether they be films or books and this book was no exception. From the first pages I was laughing, sometimes with tears in my eyes! The book follows the story of Heffa Lump whom is so self centered you can't but help note her reactions in the early book to those of Bella in Twilight but for totally different reasons. Teddy was so naive and I loved the 'special' part about vampires not being able to go out in the sunlight and the reason behind it (I shall not add the spoiler for anyone who wishes to read it!) The constant references to Stephfordy made me laugh too, as a buddying author I found it almost like footnotes I had made when drafting or personal thoughts I had had about characters. I'll be interested to see if there is ever a sequal and would but it. This book I do not feel would be suitable for say the target audience of The Twilight Series but for us adults who devoured The Twilight Saga and like to see the funny side of things I would say this book is a must - but CANNOT be taken seriously!. Review also featured on my blog - http://www.bewitchedbooks.co.uk/

  3. 4 out of 5

    Emily

    I liked Twilight for a while in 2008 before i realised truly how awful it is. And now i am quite the Twilight hater. Ok, not so much hater but the extent to which it is obsessed over angers me to the core. The series does not deserve the praise and attention it recieves and Meyer is definitely overrated. So, i bought this book mainly for a laugh and to read someone else's perspective on how utterly ridiculous the whole idea actually is. And, this made me laugh quite a lot. I loved that the write I liked Twilight for a while in 2008 before i realised truly how awful it is. And now i am quite the Twilight hater. Ok, not so much hater but the extent to which it is obsessed over angers me to the core. The series does not deserve the praise and attention it recieves and Meyer is definitely overrated. So, i bought this book mainly for a laugh and to read someone else's perspective on how utterly ridiculous the whole idea actually is. And, this made me laugh quite a lot. I loved that the writer kept picking up on holes in the plot that Meyer had failed to clear up, hence proving how amateur her writing is. At some points it became quite tedious but i enjoyed it for what it was, a lighthearted parody. I especially enjoyed the various Harry Potter references which just showed how much better a series can be.

  4. 4 out of 5

    Literary Ames {Against GR Censorship}

    Reviewing as I read... Right from the beginning it rips into Twilight with delightful abandon but it does a good job of pointing out the many flaws in Meyer's writing. Heffa (aka Bella) is vulger, self-obsessed and I'd like to kill her even more than the original character. Oh and the vamps eat raw meat, weird but some of the character names are apt e.g. Wanda Mensional. Warning: To be digested in small amounts. I'll probably read a little bit everyday until I finish. It's that full-on. Reviewing as I read... Right from the beginning it rips into Twilight with delightful abandon but it does a good job of pointing out the many flaws in Meyer's writing. Heffa (aka Bella) is vulger, self-obsessed and I'd like to kill her even more than the original character. Oh and the vamps eat raw meat, weird but some of the character names are apt e.g. Wanda Mensional. Warning: To be digested in small amounts. I'll probably read a little bit everyday until I finish. It's that full-on.

  5. 4 out of 5

    Eeva

    It's a great parody. It perfectly points out every inconsistency, every loophole, every lack of SM's writing skills or her lack of imagination. Also, it's hilarious. It's a great parody. It perfectly points out every inconsistency, every loophole, every lack of SM's writing skills or her lack of imagination. Also, it's hilarious.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Georgina

    This caught my eye on the returns shelf at the library so I grabbed it thinking I'd read it if I had nothing else on the go. After extending it twice I picked it up and read the first page... ...and kept reading. This book is outstanding! Be warned, however, if you love the Twilight Saga, don't do it to yourself - it's like bungy jumping without the rope - you know what the outcome will be and it won't be pretty. Similarly, if you hate everything Twilight going on the hype alone and haven't actually This caught my eye on the returns shelf at the library so I grabbed it thinking I'd read it if I had nothing else on the go. After extending it twice I picked it up and read the first page... ...and kept reading. This book is outstanding! Be warned, however, if you love the Twilight Saga, don't do it to yourself - it's like bungy jumping without the rope - you know what the outcome will be and it won't be pretty. Similarly, if you hate everything Twilight going on the hype alone and haven't actually read the books, you won't appreciate everything this parody has to offer. While a lot of the humour is blatant, ie - you've probably read plenty of reviews and seen enough in the media to know what the joke's about, you'll miss the subtle references that happen in the space of a sentence or a word or two. I love that Teddy's eyes are constantly changing colour from one exotic hue to another. Look forward to reading Breaking Yawn.

  7. 4 out of 5

    Becky Price

    This was an awful book. It was cheesy, unoriginal, and not funny. I feel the sole purpose was to make fun of twilight, but not in a good hearted way, but a way to just be a jerk and make fun of something people like. If you are a twilight fan then i would not recommend reading this novel at all. If you hate twilight, like REALLY can't stand it, then you might like it a little more than me, but it was badly written. This was an awful book. It was cheesy, unoriginal, and not funny. I feel the sole purpose was to make fun of twilight, but not in a good hearted way, but a way to just be a jerk and make fun of something people like. If you are a twilight fan then i would not recommend reading this novel at all. If you hate twilight, like REALLY can't stand it, then you might like it a little more than me, but it was badly written.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Jen Roberts

    Okay, so yes, this book is completely ridiculous and merely written to take the p**s out of The Twilight Saga, which if you closely read is actually just as cheesy, and no, there is no purpose this book serves but to make you laugh, and I think that people completely underrate that. It is actually a very funny book, a good bit of light reading, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I'd recommend it to anyone who just wants to sit down and have a little giggle at a silly book. Okay, so yes, this book is completely ridiculous and merely written to take the p**s out of The Twilight Saga, which if you closely read is actually just as cheesy, and no, there is no purpose this book serves but to make you laugh, and I think that people completely underrate that. It is actually a very funny book, a good bit of light reading, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I'd recommend it to anyone who just wants to sit down and have a little giggle at a silly book.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Inge (Inge1990)

    It is normally not me, to not finish a book. However, I didn't finish this book. Why? Because it is just a bad book. IT had a lot of potential, you know, a parady of twilight, you can make a lot of fun stories with it.. However, when you only focus HEffa beiing a pain in the ass and thinking she is the best the world could offer, is just plain easy writing. Actually it is annoying as hell.. I wonder if Stephofdy actually thought about that. Easy writting is almost never giving a proper book. And It is normally not me, to not finish a book. However, I didn't finish this book. Why? Because it is just a bad book. IT had a lot of potential, you know, a parady of twilight, you can make a lot of fun stories with it.. However, when you only focus HEffa beiing a pain in the ass and thinking she is the best the world could offer, is just plain easy writing. Actually it is annoying as hell.. I wonder if Stephofdy actually thought about that. Easy writting is almost never giving a proper book. And I think even a parody of a book needs to be good for people to enjoy it. It maybe that Iḿ a bit harsh on the book, but the back of the book suggested a proper story but than with all the duh moments even more clear in the parody.. What you get is just a teen who thinks she is so fantastic.. Well it is just annoying to read.. Put it away after 100 pages, not gonna bother further.

  10. 4 out of 5

    Nelly

    I bought this book from a secondhand shop more as a joke, just to check if the author had managed to point out exactly how awful Twilight is. He (or she?) indeed managed to do so, however this fact doesn't make New Moan any better. I still never finished it but I do appreciate the efforts. And it's definitely a better love story that Twilight. Verdict? As a parody of a shit book: 10 As a book itself: 0. Even below, if possible. I bought this book from a secondhand shop more as a joke, just to check if the author had managed to point out exactly how awful Twilight is. He (or she?) indeed managed to do so, however this fact doesn't make New Moan any better. I still never finished it but I do appreciate the efforts. And it's definitely a better love story that Twilight. Verdict? As a parody of a shit book: 10 As a book itself: 0. Even below, if possible.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Priscilla

    I held on for 20 pages, and then I just couldn't read anymore. I read and liked Twilight. I read and strongly disliked the last book in the series, but still.. This book is a real jerk. Poorly written and not funny at all. Even if you hated the Twilight-series, you cannot convince me you loved this book. I held on for 20 pages, and then I just couldn't read anymore. I read and liked Twilight. I read and strongly disliked the last book in the series, but still.. This book is a real jerk. Poorly written and not funny at all. Even if you hated the Twilight-series, you cannot convince me you loved this book.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Taylor

    to be quite honest I thought is was stupid, just way too ridiculous to be funny. I do not recommend it. there was so much put in there that did not even have anything relating to twilight at all. I mean I get it is reflecting on pop culture as a whole but if you're gonna write a book like that, don't call it a parody of a book, call it a satire! to be quite honest I thought is was stupid, just way too ridiculous to be funny. I do not recommend it. there was so much put in there that did not even have anything relating to twilight at all. I mean I get it is reflecting on pop culture as a whole but if you're gonna write a book like that, don't call it a parody of a book, call it a satire!

  13. 5 out of 5

    Bex

    i havent and i wont be finishing this book. i thought it might actually be funny, but i just found it completely silly. i know its meant to mock twilight, but its ridiclous so ive given up. obviously this type of book just isnt for me

  14. 5 out of 5

    Katie

    This wasn't even funny. Terrible 'humour'. This wasn't even funny. Terrible 'humour'.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Jodie Brian

    Loved it. It was hilarious now I want the next book in the series

  16. 4 out of 5

    teleri llinos

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. A parody of Twilight and New Moon all rolled into one, what could go wrong? I went into this book with open eyes. Sure, I'm a fan of both books, hell the entire series, and I even make fun of the book myself. I point out the problematic bits (possessive and controlling partners) and laugh at the cringy moments (the clothes), so an entire book dedicated to doing that? It sounded great. Except it wasn't. There is a warning that the book features sexual content, but I still wasn't aware it was going t A parody of Twilight and New Moon all rolled into one, what could go wrong? I went into this book with open eyes. Sure, I'm a fan of both books, hell the entire series, and I even make fun of the book myself. I point out the problematic bits (possessive and controlling partners) and laugh at the cringy moments (the clothes), so an entire book dedicated to doing that? It sounded great. Except it wasn't. There is a warning that the book features sexual content, but I still wasn't aware it was going to feature in pretty much every page. It was constant, and in your face, and I was tired of it. The first few sexual innuendoes made me do that thing where you breathe heavily out of your nose, but then it just got repetitive. There were also some real problematic moments in the book. Maybe I'm just overly sensitive when it comes to jokes, but some of the jokes just came off as insensitive. 'Would it have been too much for them to give me up for adoption? Orphans get the best character arcs.' 'wrist-slitting depressing' and then the worst of the bunch I bookmarked, 'I had no intention of staying cooped up in my house like some Austrian girl' because what's funnier than the poor woman who was r*ped and forced to birth her dad's children, all whilst being hidden underneath her house. let's not even mention the countless other things that went on in that basement. Let's all laugh at her, and her children shall we? It just felt like the author didn't know when enough was enough. Sure there were some heavy-nose-breathing-things that happened, like Chuck (aka Charlie) adding Heffa (aka Bella) to the bus route instead of giving her a car. But the book just felt overdone and insensitive.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Mike Foley

    Pretty amusing but doesn't hold up to a second read to the point I was skimming the last 50 pages. So if you hate twilight or found it unintentionally humorous then its a fun light read. But if you are neutral or love twilight then avoid this. I would say the humor is 50\50, the parts pertaining to plot holes and bad characters is great but the added random humor fell flat. The good: Mayo does treat us to a satire of the characters and plot holes like Teddy swinging from innocent well meaning va Pretty amusing but doesn't hold up to a second read to the point I was skimming the last 50 pages. So if you hate twilight or found it unintentionally humorous then its a fun light read. But if you are neutral or love twilight then avoid this. I would say the humor is 50\50, the parts pertaining to plot holes and bad characters is great but the added random humor fell flat. The good: Mayo does treat us to a satire of the characters and plot holes like Teddy swinging from innocent well meaning vampire to threatening and belittling Heffa like telling her glass is sharp and he'll tear out her throat. Also Heffa commenting on how amazing she is and everyone should love her while being unlovable and acting like she's selfless, misunderstood, and caring when she's really not. It also makes fun of how serious their relationship gets so quickly to the point of deep depression and suicide, the worthlessness of side characters and plot holes like the sparkle bits. The bad: things like breaking the fourth wall and the idea of the shuffling were not funny to me. There were several random humor attempts like her being in a writing school and zombie invasion that seemed out of place and I can't really remember specifics. Also the writing/story is mediocre probably better in film form. Overall fun but mostly forgettable satire of twilight.

  18. 4 out of 5

    Coaldust

    Maybe I just don't really do parodies in book form, but I kept ending up reading it at face value like it was just a really sh*t story. I suppose that's the point though, it's supposed to be a mirror to Twilight that at least doesn't take itself seriously. Some of the jokes felt forced or tried too hard but the events actually were more unpredictable than the story it parodies so at least it wasn't dull. I really didn't "get it", but it was fun all the same. And that's all that matters I suppose Maybe I just don't really do parodies in book form, but I kept ending up reading it at face value like it was just a really sh*t story. I suppose that's the point though, it's supposed to be a mirror to Twilight that at least doesn't take itself seriously. Some of the jokes felt forced or tried too hard but the events actually were more unpredictable than the story it parodies so at least it wasn't dull. I really didn't "get it", but it was fun all the same. And that's all that matters I suppose.

  19. 4 out of 5

    Neets

    I picked this book up from the ‘free table’ at work, mainly because I was transfixed by all things Twilight-related back in the day. It’s a fun read for the most part and is definitely a decent parody. Clearly, the author has read all of Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight saga books, so a lot of the references would only be understood by those who had read the original saga. For me there were no belly laughs. Mild amusement, yes. Actually, what I want to do now is go back and read the original saga! Haven’ I picked this book up from the ‘free table’ at work, mainly because I was transfixed by all things Twilight-related back in the day. It’s a fun read for the most part and is definitely a decent parody. Clearly, the author has read all of Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight saga books, so a lot of the references would only be understood by those who had read the original saga. For me there were no belly laughs. Mild amusement, yes. Actually, what I want to do now is go back and read the original saga! Haven’t read it in years, so it would be nice to get sucked in again...

  20. 4 out of 5

    Livvy

    The story is terrible but so frigging funny. 1/5 as a story. 4/5 as a parody.

  21. 5 out of 5

    D.A. A Stevens

    As a Twilight fan I find this hilarious, and I'm not even offended. As a Twilight fan I find this hilarious, and I'm not even offended.

  22. 4 out of 5

    Bobbi

    New Moan is a surprisingly unique twist on the plot-hole-rife Twilight saga. The main character's self-absorbed nature is central to the tone that makes this parody work. It gets a bit irritating towards the end, as the narrative starts to drag, but I don't think the book would make much sense any other way. Everything about this book was rooted in the less realistic aspects of life in Forks as a brooding teenager, and there were elements that surprised me and kept me interested despite Bella's New Moan is a surprisingly unique twist on the plot-hole-rife Twilight saga. The main character's self-absorbed nature is central to the tone that makes this parody work. It gets a bit irritating towards the end, as the narrative starts to drag, but I don't think the book would make much sense any other way. Everything about this book was rooted in the less realistic aspects of life in Forks as a brooding teenager, and there were elements that surprised me and kept me interested despite Bella's monotonous personality being the running joke. It was a little over the top, but not a bad distraction from the world. 3 stars.

  23. 5 out of 5

    Janelle Dazzlepants

    It’s a bit difficult to review a parody novel, as I can’t really offer a solid, serious critique on something that’s designed to purely take the piss! New Moan is a hysterical parody of Twilight, and it really leaves no stone unturned - or unparodied. Stephfordy Mayo perfectly captures Bella Swan’s arrogance and self-absorbedness in the protagonist Heffa Lump, a former child star who transfers to the town of Spatula to attend a show business school designed to take her to stardom as an adult. Th It’s a bit difficult to review a parody novel, as I can’t really offer a solid, serious critique on something that’s designed to purely take the piss! New Moan is a hysterical parody of Twilight, and it really leaves no stone unturned - or unparodied. Stephfordy Mayo perfectly captures Bella Swan’s arrogance and self-absorbedness in the protagonist Heffa Lump, a former child star who transfers to the town of Spatula to attend a show business school designed to take her to stardom as an adult. The book also perfectly captures Bella Swan’s disdain for the other “plebs” at school, and her complete and utter disregard and lack of self-respect for her parents - Heffa’s dad spends basically the entire book watching sports of some sort in the other room, and her mother is a ditz who barely rates a mention. Heffa barely deigns to come down off her cloud to speak to her fellow classmates, and when she does, throws tantrums if she isn’t the centre of attention and they’re not worshipping at her feet. (Think of a five year old stamping her foot and wailing, and that’s basically Heffa Lump.) Parodies are, by nature, totally meta. New Moan is no different, showing a self-awareness of everything down to the use of adjectives and nouns. Stephfordy parodies Stephenie Meyer’s limited vocabulary (topaz….chagrined….marble….granite, anyone?), and at one point uses the word “ejaculated” to describe dialogue, and then spends the next several lines debating whether “ejaculated” could or should ever be used to describe speech. The book also parodies the ridiculous unresolved sexual tension littered throughout Twilight - that is to say, the absolute refusal to acknowledge that teenagers are crazy hormonal creatures and might want “a bit of the sex”. On a serious worldbuilding note, the Spatula Academy of Fictional Excellence is actually really damn cool! Rather than being a serious acting school, it’s more akin to Sky High, with stuff exploding left and right and its own Hannah Montana character. If this book weren’t hysterically funny as it is, I’d keep on reading just to see more of the Academy! Overall: New Moan is really damn funny. It’s incredibly self-aware as only parodies can be, and hits the nail on the head from the protagonist's arrogance and self-absorbedness right down to the adjective and verb usage. This is not a Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters where it keeps all the boring bits and sprinkles a little bit of humour on top. This is a fullblown parody and nothing is safe.

  24. 5 out of 5

    Susan

    You have to be in the right state of mind to enjoy this book, and it may make a LOT of Twilight readers really mad, but if you have a sense of humor, you can see the funny side of it. Packed with inuendos, double entendres, stupid names, it makes fun of the nature of Twilight Saga characters. All the names of characters seem to be plays on words...such as Wanda Mentional and Joe Cohontas. The book highlights characteristics, like Bella's selflessness, and Edward's perceived perfection, and in som You have to be in the right state of mind to enjoy this book, and it may make a LOT of Twilight readers really mad, but if you have a sense of humor, you can see the funny side of it. Packed with inuendos, double entendres, stupid names, it makes fun of the nature of Twilight Saga characters. All the names of characters seem to be plays on words...such as Wanda Mentional and Joe Cohontas. The book highlights characteristics, like Bella's selflessness, and Edward's perceived perfection, and in some way distorts them so Heffa (Bella's role) is a narcissistic, egotistical, demanding, wanna-be diva and the sun literally shines out of Teddy's (Edward's) rear...at least on Sunny days in Spatula. All the things that Stephanie Meyer has been criticized for: PG 13-ness, anti-climactic plots, mundane details that are unecessary to the plot, etc...they all come to play at some point as the story takes digs at the author Stephfordy Mayo. It's actually very well done if you can get past it making fun of something you love. If you have a problem with people who make fun of Twilight, don't read this book. If you love Twilight, but can appreciate that not everyone does and you can have a good time ribbing with your friends who aren't into it, then you will probably enjoy it. If you've read and HATE the series because of all the aforementioned criticisms of Stephanie Meyer's writing, you will probably love it. And if you have never read the books and are so narrow-minded that you have judged them without even having tried them, you won't understand and of the jokes anyway, so don't waste your time.

  25. 4 out of 5

    Charuta Powale

    I think the writer put in a lot of efforts into mocking 'The Twilight Saga'. It is a book that can be loved but I didn't love it. I didn't like it either. The characters were so annoying and were never constant. Many people would like it for a good hearty laugh but barely anything made me laugh. The story kept dragging on and on until the last 50 pages, where the action started. The conclusion left me delirious. This book just wasn't for me. I think the writer put in a lot of efforts into mocking 'The Twilight Saga'. It is a book that can be loved but I didn't love it. I didn't like it either. The characters were so annoying and were never constant. Many people would like it for a good hearty laugh but barely anything made me laugh. The story kept dragging on and on until the last 50 pages, where the action started. The conclusion left me delirious. This book just wasn't for me.

  26. 5 out of 5

    Charlotte M.

    I must say that this book was better than the Twilight series, and I read it because anything making fun of Twilight is usually humorous. But I could've done without the sexual references on every page. The second half of the book up until the last 50 or so pages is probably the best, because the author got tired or ran out of ideas on sexual references he could add in. I read this book while I was in school, and the constant sexual references made me check over my shoulder to make sure no one w I must say that this book was better than the Twilight series, and I read it because anything making fun of Twilight is usually humorous. But I could've done without the sexual references on every page. The second half of the book up until the last 50 or so pages is probably the best, because the author got tired or ran out of ideas on sexual references he could add in. I read this book while I was in school, and the constant sexual references made me check over my shoulder to make sure no one was reading along. It made me feel not quite right about reading the book, and was at some times truly disgusting. I don't mind a little romance, but this was just not the right type. However, making Heffa Lump look like a self-centered oblivious teenager was funny. And the parts that I was able to connect to the actual story were humorous. But where did Winnie The Pooh come from? And why is he a drug dealer? And why do they all go to a fantasy school where they learn how to narrate their stories. I think something sticking to the original plot line of the story and just made fun of it would've been better, and more hilarious. I often wondered while reading this book whether or not the author was on something when it was written.

  27. 5 out of 5

    Cheese

    In gist, this book is like a concentrated dose of Scary Movie 1-5. Spoof MAX. Funny/amusing in the beginning but becomes dull as the story continues. Not recommended to be read in 1 sitting. For the long review, read on. Well, this book is a tricky one. If you somewhat like Twilight or is a fan, I would suggest you stay away. The book already says Twishite on its cover. However, if you are a Twilight hater because of the movie, the acting, someone who wouldn't even go near the books after watchi In gist, this book is like a concentrated dose of Scary Movie 1-5. Spoof MAX. Funny/amusing in the beginning but becomes dull as the story continues. Not recommended to be read in 1 sitting. For the long review, read on. Well, this book is a tricky one. If you somewhat like Twilight or is a fan, I would suggest you stay away. The book already says Twishite on its cover. However, if you are a Twilight hater because of the movie, the acting, someone who wouldn't even go near the books after watching the movie then this book is for you. Personally, I have a few laughs, was amused here and there (the innuendos in the characters' names are hilarious) but it can get really boring at times. I think Mayo did a good job in pointing out the flaws of the original saga's story line. Unfortunately, it is also too much of a jumble / mish-mash of stuff for me. I could be abit sensitive here but I think Mayo also reference in other tv series and movies that has a supernatural/fantasy story line, which make some parts of the book really boring, some parts doesn't even flow nicely but thrown in anyway. That's abit shoddy for me.

  28. 4 out of 5

    Sille

    I got this book as a birthday present. In general, I seriously dislike parodies of any type. There's no point in showing me the latest remake of someone's song with stupid lyrics or even stupider video, another 'The Best' parody of Harry Potter or in this case... Twilight. I don't know what I dislike about this concept. Maybe I just find laughing over something cruel or maybe the parodies I have seen haven't been too good. This book started out pretty fine - I found myself even sort of enjoying i I got this book as a birthday present. In general, I seriously dislike parodies of any type. There's no point in showing me the latest remake of someone's song with stupid lyrics or even stupider video, another 'The Best' parody of Harry Potter or in this case... Twilight. I don't know what I dislike about this concept. Maybe I just find laughing over something cruel or maybe the parodies I have seen haven't been too good. This book started out pretty fine - I found myself even sort of enjoying it. It was humurous and kind of clever. But as I was nearing the end of this book... the sillier it got. The jokes and the New Moan thing...? Sorry, not my cup of tea. Overall, this book can be a good read for someone who has read original Twilight books and enjoys parodies. It captures and highlights the points of Meyer's writing pretty precisely - all the untold things and hints brought up and bustered, dramatic gone melodramatic and so on. I wouldn't say it's a total waste of time but I wish I had invested this time on something else.

  29. 4 out of 5

    Courtney

    More reviews at Rondo of a Possible World: YA Book Reviews I'm sorry this book just didn't keep my interested. The only reason I didn't dump it off was because I always finish a book when i start it and this one, half the time I just wanted it to end already. The beginning was funny I'll give it that but towards the middle I just hated the narration, the stupidity, the over-obsessiveness and just everything the book had to offer. Yes, if I was more in tune with it, i'd have laughed on every pag More reviews at Rondo of a Possible World: YA Book Reviews I'm sorry this book just didn't keep my interested. The only reason I didn't dump it off was because I always finish a book when i start it and this one, half the time I just wanted it to end already. The beginning was funny I'll give it that but towards the middle I just hated the narration, the stupidity, the over-obsessiveness and just everything the book had to offer. Yes, if I was more in tune with it, i'd have laughed on every page but I just wanted it to end. The book was a great Twilight parody because everything and nothing was going on from the beginning to the middle and then the plot scheme was thrown in at the end. Kudos, Stephordy you've mastered the writing language of Stephanie Meyer, you've lacked everything and gained nothing.

  30. 4 out of 5

    Kristi Lynn

    I was really excited to get this book and to read it. I loved the Twilight books, but as anyone who does, can admit, there are some things you could joke about (although I still do love those books). I had read some reviews on other sites about this book and they said it was hilarious. Great, I could use a chuckle. Two chapters in, I am SO bored. The main character is a pretentious snot. Not even a funny pretentious snot. Just down right rude and, well, ridiculous. I just could not read anymore. I was really excited to get this book and to read it. I loved the Twilight books, but as anyone who does, can admit, there are some things you could joke about (although I still do love those books). I had read some reviews on other sites about this book and they said it was hilarious. Great, I could use a chuckle. Two chapters in, I am SO bored. The main character is a pretentious snot. Not even a funny pretentious snot. Just down right rude and, well, ridiculous. I just could not read anymore. I skimmed the book, hoping something would jump out that would keep me reading. Nothing, absolutely Nothing! I gave it the lowest rating possible. I have a lot more books I need to read and I know they will be a lot more stimulating. Perhaps someone else can find the humor in this book, because I surely did not.

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