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Speak Peace in a World of Conflict: What You Say Next Will Change Your World

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In every interaction, every conversation and in every thought, you have a choice – to promote peace or perpetuate violence. International peacemaker, mediator and healer, Dr. Marshall B. Rosenberg shows you how the language you use is the key to enriching life. Take the first step to reduce violence, heal pain, resolve conflicts and spread peace on our planet – by developi In every interaction, every conversation and in every thought, you have a choice – to promote peace or perpetuate violence. International peacemaker, mediator and healer, Dr. Marshall B. Rosenberg shows you how the language you use is the key to enriching life. Take the first step to reduce violence, heal pain, resolve conflicts and spread peace on our planet – by developing an internal consciousness of peace rooted in the language you use each day. Speak Peace is filled with inspiring stories, lessons and ideas drawn from over 40 years of mediating conflicts and healing relationships in some of the most war torn, impoverished, and violent corners of the world. Speak Peace offers insight, practical skills, and powerful tools that will profoundly change your relationships and the course of your life for the better. Bestselling author of the internationally acclaimed, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. Discover how you can create an internal consciousness of peace as the first step toward effective personal, professional, and social change. Find complete chapters on the mechanics of Nonviolent Communication, effective conflict resolution, transforming business culture, transforming enemy images, addressing terrorism, transforming authoritarian structures, expressing and receiving gratitude, and social change.


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In every interaction, every conversation and in every thought, you have a choice – to promote peace or perpetuate violence. International peacemaker, mediator and healer, Dr. Marshall B. Rosenberg shows you how the language you use is the key to enriching life. Take the first step to reduce violence, heal pain, resolve conflicts and spread peace on our planet – by developi In every interaction, every conversation and in every thought, you have a choice – to promote peace or perpetuate violence. International peacemaker, mediator and healer, Dr. Marshall B. Rosenberg shows you how the language you use is the key to enriching life. Take the first step to reduce violence, heal pain, resolve conflicts and spread peace on our planet – by developing an internal consciousness of peace rooted in the language you use each day. Speak Peace is filled with inspiring stories, lessons and ideas drawn from over 40 years of mediating conflicts and healing relationships in some of the most war torn, impoverished, and violent corners of the world. Speak Peace offers insight, practical skills, and powerful tools that will profoundly change your relationships and the course of your life for the better. Bestselling author of the internationally acclaimed, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. Discover how you can create an internal consciousness of peace as the first step toward effective personal, professional, and social change. Find complete chapters on the mechanics of Nonviolent Communication, effective conflict resolution, transforming business culture, transforming enemy images, addressing terrorism, transforming authoritarian structures, expressing and receiving gratitude, and social change.

30 review for Speak Peace in a World of Conflict: What You Say Next Will Change Your World

  1. 4 out of 5

    Polly Trout

    You only need to read one of Rosenberg's books to learn everything you need to know about Nonviolent Communication, and of the two I think this is the better one -- it is more recent and his thinking is more developed than in the original manifesto, "Nonviolent Communication." Rosenberg's work fascinates me and has been extremely useful to me. I'm working on putting together a workshop for people who work in homeless youth services about how his ideas can help us make our programs more user frie You only need to read one of Rosenberg's books to learn everything you need to know about Nonviolent Communication, and of the two I think this is the better one -- it is more recent and his thinking is more developed than in the original manifesto, "Nonviolent Communication." Rosenberg's work fascinates me and has been extremely useful to me. I'm working on putting together a workshop for people who work in homeless youth services about how his ideas can help us make our programs more user friendly and ethical. There are also aspects of his work that trouble me and frustrate me, the most important being that I generally distrust all self help systems that promise that all your problems can be solved in ten steps or less by following a tightly structured program. More on this later, let's start with what Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is and what parts of it I have found useful. NVC is a style of conversation that tries to help people connect more deeply and authentically by focusing on their feelings, needs, and shared human experience rather than their intellectual paradigms and points of conflict. As a worldview, it is deeply rooted in Asian traditions as filtered through the American New Religious Movements on the left/progressive/liberal end of the spectrum. (If your worldview already aligns with that, you will like NVC; if not, it will drive you up the wall). NVC is "a giving and receiving of messages that center on two very important questions: What's alive in us? and What can we do to make life more wonderful?" The technique centers around avoiding judgments and blaming, while articulating feelings and needs without blame or criticism. The intention of NVC is "to create the quality of connection with other people and oneself that allows compassionate giving to take place." NVC accepts as an axiom that human beings are basically good, and that evil arises from ignorance of our true natures and miseducation concerning how to properly communicate with ourselves and others. One useful idea in this book is the reminder that there is often a disconnect between what we think is motivating our thoughts and behaviour, and what the actual motivation is. We move through life, and emotions arise; we make up stories in our head about where those emotions come from, and what to do with them. These stories may or may not be accurate or helpful. When we are having a conflict with another person, it is sometimes useful to focus on the feelings and needs behind the story, rather than the story itself. This book has a lot of useful advice and strategies that can be added to your "communication toolbox," but by itself it is not a complete set of communication skills, and taken literally and at face value, I don't think it is a very healthy and balanced diet of communication strategies. Sometimes, it is good to avoid judgment. Sometimes, the most compassionate, honest, and appropriate thing to do is call bullshit. It depends on the motivations and context. Another (fabulous!) book I read this week was "Infidel" by Ayaan Hirsi Ali. In talking about how her liberal Dutch boss tried to censor her when she first started writing editorials (because he felt they were too inflammatory), she writes, "I was learning that in these extremely civilized circles, conflict is dealt with in a very ornate and hypocritical manner." At its worst, NVC is ornate and hypocritical. That being said, the book has had a positive, radical, and transformative impact on my thinking, because I have been obsessing all week on this question: What if, every moment of every day, I did remain completely focused on how to make life as wonderful as possible for as many people as possible? What if, in every exchange with another person, I consistently looked for the words and actions that would have the greatest positive impact on our lives, both my life and the person I am talking to? And I don't just mean finding the words to diffuse tension right this second, but in the biggest possible sense of using each moment to teach and learn and share and connect? This book is most helpful if you pay attention to the spirit and motivation behind it, and take it with a grain of salt, ignoring the sometimes fundamentalist and rigid language that is used to express the concepts the author is trying to get across. (Ironically, Rosenberg uses words like "always" and "never" a lot). NVC is sometimes called compassionate conversation. Compassion is crucial, but it is not enough. We need compassion AND wisdom, kindness AND honesty, open-mindedness AND rational discernment. Sometimes it is good to just observe and avoid judgment. And sometimes, as Ayaan Hirsi Ali demonstrates, we move more quickly and efficiently towards social justice when we are honest, strong, and brave enough to stand up and firmly articulate our experience and beliefs, even when that leads to anger and conflict. Avoiding unnecessary conflict is skillful and compassionate. Selling out our ideals in order to avoid necessary conflict is narcissistic and cowardly.

  2. 4 out of 5

    J. B. Rainsberger

    On one hand, I learned very little new from this book, but on the other hand, this book put its central ideas together in a way that seems likely to help me use them. Reading this book triggered me to change some skeptical views I held about NVC, since it seems that I already consciously practise quite a lot of what I found in it. I come away from this book feeling greater confidence in my practice related to everyday communication, and more conscious of the power of taking greater care to do so On one hand, I learned very little new from this book, but on the other hand, this book put its central ideas together in a way that seems likely to help me use them. Reading this book triggered me to change some skeptical views I held about NVC, since it seems that I already consciously practise quite a lot of what I found in it. I come away from this book feeling greater confidence in my practice related to everyday communication, and more conscious of the power of taking greater care to do so with less violence.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Liberty

    In actually, Rosenberg gets 5 stars for the ideas in his book, 3 stars for the quality of his writing, and 1 star for being an intellectual-property a-hole. Yes, Rosenberg actually owns, since the US government is in the business of claiming authority to grant such ownership, the phrase "nonviolent communication," and he demands that nobody use this phrase without paying him for it. But the good news is that he's sharing his socially positive ideas for free. That's right, everybody: Stop judging In actually, Rosenberg gets 5 stars for the ideas in his book, 3 stars for the quality of his writing, and 1 star for being an intellectual-property a-hole. Yes, Rosenberg actually owns, since the US government is in the business of claiming authority to grant such ownership, the phrase "nonviolent communication," and he demands that nobody use this phrase without paying him for it. But the good news is that he's sharing his socially positive ideas for free. That's right, everybody: Stop judging, and just try to understand! Rosenberg may not have invented this wheel, but we'd be better off if we'd all take it out for a spin.

  4. 4 out of 5

    Mike Savage

    Helped me reconfigure some of my communication styles. Worth the time. I got the impression early in Obama's campaign and somewhat in his early term that he knew of and espoused some of Rosenberg's ideals. Guessing that if true, Obama found the challenge to implement the concepts in such a high voltage political environment challenging if not imposible. Helped me reconfigure some of my communication styles. Worth the time. I got the impression early in Obama's campaign and somewhat in his early term that he knew of and espoused some of Rosenberg's ideals. Guessing that if true, Obama found the challenge to implement the concepts in such a high voltage political environment challenging if not imposible.

  5. 4 out of 5

    Kevin Orth

    Everyone would benefit from reading this The techniques are simple, the principles are universally applicable, access to the insight is at our fingertips, ramifications are beyond words.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Bruna Rangel

    Temos aqui um resumo da CNV e mais casos práticos. Além disso, há alguns casos específicos de como utilizar a CNV certos ambientes como corporações e escolas. Recomendo primeiramente ler o livro principal, Comunicação Não Violenta, e ler esse e outros como complemento. Quem me acompanha por aqui sabe que leio bastante sobre o assunto e quanto eu acho importante e transformador aprender tudo isso que o Marshall nos disponibilizou.

  7. 4 out of 5

    John Stepper

    I adore Rosenberg’s work. His writing, how workshops (that I’ve only seen on YouTube, alas), his field work, his attitude & approach. A delicious blend of mindfulness + practical communications skills. I wish he wrote more! Next I will explore his pamphlets and videos, perhaps eventually NVC training too. I feel very much like he discovered something very important, and that we just need to make it easier to put into practice & spread...

  8. 4 out of 5

    Vlad Stavarache

    I am really grateful for this book and this man's work (watched youtube videos before). I think everybody should study and understand the principles of NVC. If you ever felt uncertain on the way to go in handling conflict, read and practice this. I am really grateful for this book and this man's work (watched youtube videos before). I think everybody should study and understand the principles of NVC. If you ever felt uncertain on the way to go in handling conflict, read and practice this.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Todd Porter

    An welcome expansion of Nonviolent Communication: a Language of Life In Speak Peace..., Marshall Rosenberg builds on the foundation he laid in Nonviolent Communication: a Language of Life. He applies his communication methodology to the peacemaking so desperately needed with ourselves, our relationships, and our world. Written in a simple, conversational style, this book is an easy read. The work is in applying it, but it’s good work. May your peacemaking efforts grow through your encounter with An welcome expansion of Nonviolent Communication: a Language of Life In Speak Peace..., Marshall Rosenberg builds on the foundation he laid in Nonviolent Communication: a Language of Life. He applies his communication methodology to the peacemaking so desperately needed with ourselves, our relationships, and our world. Written in a simple, conversational style, this book is an easy read. The work is in applying it, but it’s good work. May your peacemaking efforts grow through your encounter with this book.

  10. 4 out of 5

    Anna

    The message of this book was wonderful. I have been aware of Non-Violent Communication (NVC), but have not yet had a chance to read the primary book on it. During a discussion about how I would like to do more work in facilitating civil conversation and understanding in our world, the minister who supervises me recommended this book. Roughly the first half of the book talks about NVC mechanics and how you can apply them in your own life and personal relationships, with some exercises which are me The message of this book was wonderful. I have been aware of Non-Violent Communication (NVC), but have not yet had a chance to read the primary book on it. During a discussion about how I would like to do more work in facilitating civil conversation and understanding in our world, the minister who supervises me recommended this book. Roughly the first half of the book talks about NVC mechanics and how you can apply them in your own life and personal relationships, with some exercises which are meant to assist you in applying what you've learned (I didn't find the exercises all that helpful, but they may be for others who need to start with the basics). The second half goes on to talk about how NVC can help in larger contexts - within the community, as well as in changing societal systems. It's the second part which is a little skimpy, I feel. In all fairness, the focus of the book is on personal conduct and speech (as is obvious from the title), but I do wish that there was a little more meat on how to practically go about making the lofty changes to which the author aspires, in line with his techniques. The writing style is quite simple, which in a sense was a blessing for me, since I am a slow reader (especially if the text is dense). It made it simple to read, although I thought that some of the quoted conversation pieces throughout the book were over-simplified. There were some radical messages introduced in this book which will take me a little while to work through (i.e. "Apology is part of our violent language," "Praise and Compliments as Damaging Judgments"), but I'm thankful to be exposed to them, as it creates many more avenues of interesting viewpoints I'd like to explore. Overall, I would recommend this book to anyone who would like an introduction to NVC and/or a quick read on uplifting examples of how it can be used as a force for honesty and genuine connection when working for social justice in our diverse world.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Mike Polen

    I think nonviolent communication should be learned by all.

  12. 5 out of 5

    Josh

    The most entertaining and uplifting of Marshalls work for people who aren't sure if this nonviolence thing has relevance outside of how I talk to my girlfriend. The most entertaining and uplifting of Marshalls work for people who aren't sure if this nonviolence thing has relevance outside of how I talk to my girlfriend.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Haikaa Yamamoto

    Mr Rosenberg's non-violent communication techniques are very clear and profound. Mr Rosenberg's non-violent communication techniques are very clear and profound.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Frédéric

    Le deuxième livre que je lis de cet auteur, et je l'ai trouvé plus accessible et militant que son plus populaire «Les mots sont des fenêtres (ou des murs)». Il s'intéresse ici au changement social, au principe de se connecter humainement avec ses «ennemis» en cessant de les voir comme des ennemis. Il y traite ainsi du système d'éducation et du système économique, de terrorisme et de violences sexuelles, de conflits ethniques et de tensions raciales, de problèmes bureaucratiques et de système de Le deuxième livre que je lis de cet auteur, et je l'ai trouvé plus accessible et militant que son plus populaire «Les mots sont des fenêtres (ou des murs)». Il s'intéresse ici au changement social, au principe de se connecter humainement avec ses «ennemis» en cessant de les voir comme des ennemis. Il y traite ainsi du système d'éducation et du système économique, de terrorisme et de violences sexuelles, de conflits ethniques et de tensions raciales, de problèmes bureaucratiques et de système de justice. Il nous invite à accueillir la douleur de chacun et de trouver des manières de connecter avec soi-même et avec autrui. Même si l'on n'est pas convaincus par certaines de ses idées, je ne doute pas que chaque militant-e pour la justice sociale saura y trouver des inspirations pour son travail.

  15. 4 out of 5

    Dooug

    My favorite of Rosenberg's work because it provides inspiration to extend NVC beyond, while also including, ourselves and interactions with others, to our society at large. Plus he makes great arguments for seeing governments and corporations as violent "gangs", perfectly speaking truth to power. And calling for restorative justice and alternative economic models is ever more pressing and important today. His work is a bridge to a more peaceful world, if we can have the courage to cross to it an My favorite of Rosenberg's work because it provides inspiration to extend NVC beyond, while also including, ourselves and interactions with others, to our society at large. Plus he makes great arguments for seeing governments and corporations as violent "gangs", perfectly speaking truth to power. And calling for restorative justice and alternative economic models is ever more pressing and important today. His work is a bridge to a more peaceful world, if we can have the courage to cross to it and leave our old ways behind.

  16. 4 out of 5

    Dave

    An extraordinary book that addresses the idea that a system based on punitive justice rather than restorative - or the impact of unmet needs rather than ongoing diagnosis based on opinions - or the value of being specific in our acknowledgment of others - as well as our inability to be with our own divinity- all in about 170 pages. Every single progressive activist/writer/artist/voter politician/human being NEEDS TO READ THIS BOOK- NOW- so you can learn how to be with people coming from love. It w An extraordinary book that addresses the idea that a system based on punitive justice rather than restorative - or the impact of unmet needs rather than ongoing diagnosis based on opinions - or the value of being specific in our acknowledgment of others - as well as our inability to be with our own divinity- all in about 170 pages. Every single progressive activist/writer/artist/voter politician/human being NEEDS TO READ THIS BOOK- NOW- so you can learn how to be with people coming from love. It will also impact your intimate relationships as well.

  17. 5 out of 5

    Lorie M.

    Life Changing Anything by Marshall Rosenberg is clear and powerful for helping us create compassion and peace in ourselves and around us. This one is no exception. I feel thankful for these ideas and experiences Marshall has written. They give me concrete things I can do and give me hope for being able to improve myself and the world around me. I wish the whole world would read this book and take it to heart. Amazing changes would happen!

  18. 4 out of 5

    Victoria Shaw

    Every word will change your worldview and I simply cannot get enough. Unconventional but that is what is necessary to facilitate unconventional change. We must each as individuals see the change and be the change we want to see in the world. If enough individuals pick up this book and discover what lies beneath these pages, it will bring about just that.

  19. 4 out of 5

    Martin Hassman

    Skvělé. Podobné myšlenky jako v Nenásilné komunikaci (další autorově knize), ale trochu jinak podané, zde stručněji a víc prakticky.

  20. 4 out of 5

    Karter Brown

    Simple and powerful

  21. 4 out of 5

    Charles

    4,5

  22. 5 out of 5

    Tomasz Kazimierski

    Kolejna książka Rosenberga na mojej liście. Niektóre przykłady się powtarzają ale wciąż uważam, że warta poznania. Kontekst zmiany bardzo szeroki. Po tej książce chyba sięgnę po Dawida Kortena...

  23. 4 out of 5

    Susan Nelson

    Very helpful read for this moment in history.

  24. 5 out of 5

    Volkan Yapar

    Baş ucu kitabı olmaya aday. Gündelik örnekler ile size gerçek empatiyi ve geri bildirimi öğretiyor. Kesinlikle okumanızı tavsiye ederim.

  25. 4 out of 5

    Ilke

    Şiddetsiz iletişim, kesinlikle bildiğimizden daha zor :) ama sandığımız kadar da zor değil.

  26. 5 out of 5

    Nilay Tekel Çankaya

    Anlatmak istediği konular etkili ve güzel olsa da çok dağınık ve maalesef akıcı değil. Beklentilerimi karşılamadı. Kişsel gelişim kitabı yoğunluğunda..

  27. 5 out of 5

    Kathleengconverse

    I love the core components on NVC and overall really enjoyed this book. I have some concerns about his use of NVC with sexual violence. His examples of using NVC to prevent a sexual assault bordered on victim blaming, and I disagree with his suggestions that survivors should talk to their rapists to resolve the conflict. This is not in line with any kind of trauma informed or survivor centered approach.

  28. 5 out of 5

    Todd

    This book help me better understand how to empathize and see other people's needs when their actions or words were either positive or negative. It is a book on a process called Nonviolent Communication which has been developed over years of conflict resolution and mediation. The process not only helps with conflicts (inner and outer personal conflicts, social, and global) but it also help me understand our humanly desire to give and help others with their needs. This book help me better understand how to empathize and see other people's needs when their actions or words were either positive or negative. It is a book on a process called Nonviolent Communication which has been developed over years of conflict resolution and mediation. The process not only helps with conflicts (inner and outer personal conflicts, social, and global) but it also help me understand our humanly desire to give and help others with their needs.

  29. 5 out of 5

    Li

    I am sneaking reads of this book inbetween a few other books and happy that I am. I like the easy way he writes and incorporates his life into this book. His simple steps to open up communication and understand others. I do wish there was homework or some practice exercise with answers to questions. He is lacking the answers that I am looking for. Still more to read. I'll let you know if I find my answers. He is one of my heroes I am sneaking reads of this book inbetween a few other books and happy that I am. I like the easy way he writes and incorporates his life into this book. His simple steps to open up communication and understand others. I do wish there was homework or some practice exercise with answers to questions. He is lacking the answers that I am looking for. Still more to read. I'll let you know if I find my answers. He is one of my heroes

  30. 5 out of 5

    Stacy

    Very good as a thought provoking exercise, but I found myself wanting more instruction. The examples seemed great, like they could have been very educational, but a lot of them were not followed through to conclusion. Only part of the process would be used to illustrate a small point, and then the author would move on with a new concept. I really like the NVC model, and this could be a good intro, but not enough to really make it stick.

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