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Didn't See That Coming: Putting Life Back Together When Your World Falls Apart

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Rachel Hollis sees you. As the millions who read her Girl, Wash Your Face and Girl, Stop Apologizing, attend her RISE conferences and follow her on social media know, she also wants to see you transform. When it comes to the “hard seasons” of life—the death of a loved one, divorce, loss of a job—transformation seems impossible when grief and uncertainty dominate your days. Rachel Hollis sees you. As the millions who read her Girl, Wash Your Face and Girl, Stop Apologizing, attend her RISE conferences and follow her on social media know, she also wants to see you transform. When it comes to the “hard seasons” of life—the death of a loved one, divorce, loss of a job—transformation seems impossible when grief and uncertainty dominate your days. Especially when, as Didn’t See that Coming reveals, no one asks to have their future completely rearranged for them. But, as Rachel writes, it is up to you how you come through your pain—you can come through changed for the better, having learned and grown, or stuck in place where your identity becomes rooted in what hurt you. With humor, honesty and true-life stories, in Didn’t See that Coming Rachel Hollis shares how to embrace the difficult moments in life for the learning experiences they are, and that a life well-lived is one of purpose and focused on the essentials. This is a small book about big feelings, inspirational, aspirational, and an anchor that shows that darkness can co-exist with the beautiful.


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Rachel Hollis sees you. As the millions who read her Girl, Wash Your Face and Girl, Stop Apologizing, attend her RISE conferences and follow her on social media know, she also wants to see you transform. When it comes to the “hard seasons” of life—the death of a loved one, divorce, loss of a job—transformation seems impossible when grief and uncertainty dominate your days. Rachel Hollis sees you. As the millions who read her Girl, Wash Your Face and Girl, Stop Apologizing, attend her RISE conferences and follow her on social media know, she also wants to see you transform. When it comes to the “hard seasons” of life—the death of a loved one, divorce, loss of a job—transformation seems impossible when grief and uncertainty dominate your days. Especially when, as Didn’t See that Coming reveals, no one asks to have their future completely rearranged for them. But, as Rachel writes, it is up to you how you come through your pain—you can come through changed for the better, having learned and grown, or stuck in place where your identity becomes rooted in what hurt you. With humor, honesty and true-life stories, in Didn’t See that Coming Rachel Hollis shares how to embrace the difficult moments in life for the learning experiences they are, and that a life well-lived is one of purpose and focused on the essentials. This is a small book about big feelings, inspirational, aspirational, and an anchor that shows that darkness can co-exist with the beautiful.

30 review for Didn't See That Coming: Putting Life Back Together When Your World Falls Apart

  1. 4 out of 5

    Melissa (LifeFullyBooked)

    I want to first qualify this review by stating that I am not a Hollis Hater. Reference my four star reviews for both Girl, Wash Your Face and Girl, Stop Apologizing My review of this book has nothing to do with the author's personal life and everything to do with the book itself. That out of the way, I found this book to be a combination of a re-hashing of both information and stories from previous books and very surface-y advice on how to overcome adversity. If you have never read a book by the I want to first qualify this review by stating that I am not a Hollis Hater. Reference my four star reviews for both Girl, Wash Your Face and Girl, Stop Apologizing My review of this book has nothing to do with the author's personal life and everything to do with the book itself. That out of the way, I found this book to be a combination of a re-hashing of both information and stories from previous books and very surface-y advice on how to overcome adversity. If you have never read a book by the author, this might provide a slight amount of helpful information, but otherwise there's a bunch of common sense advice about letting go of guilt, trying other perspectives, getting real about finances, and re-imagining your future. For example from the finance chapter, her "Things That Helped Me" are: Finances Can Be Learned, Understand Your Financial Perspective, and Get Guidance. In the Letting Go of Guilt chapter, those things include: Pretend You're Counseling Someone Else, Remember You Can Have Bad Thoughts and Still Be a Good Person, and Remember That You Can Do Something Bad and Still Be a Good Person. At the beginning she states that she always swore she would write from the scars and not from the wounds. I feel like, with the pandemic (much less her divorce situation,) we are still at the very wounded, bleeding stage and those are the least effective times to feel like you have anything valuable to contribute to the conversation. It is more of a time of listening and reflecting, not trying to guide others. The one insightful section of this book talks about how she developed boundaries in her life as her platform exploded. She reflects on how unhealthy her choices and actions were at first, letting everyone in and trying to help and guide everyone. I appreciated her perspectives on this and I think all of us can use this advice in this tumultuous time with regards to social media and other interactions: that just because the engagement is there doesn't mean we have to participate and get ourselves emotionally distraught to the point of it harming our lives. This section of the book is why I gave it 2 stars rather than one, because I found this part to be meaningful and helpful. Unfortunately for the rest of the book, it is very shallow and doesn't deal with deeper emotions regarding the types of life situations she references throughout. I realize that she had a book contract and there likely wasn't a way out of it, but this book feels like it was just written quickly and too soon for any real reflection on the tough issues of unexpected grief and trauma. She talks about her brother's suicide, but this topic was thoroughly covered in her previous books. Like I said before, it would have been much more impactful if it wasn't a story we had heard multiple times before. I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book, all opinions are my own.

  2. 4 out of 5

    Lauren Vail

    Hollis’ continued ”pick yourself up by your bootstraps” mentality is over. This is not a healthy way to process trauma. The implications are the messages of ”Why don't you just move on? Don't you have enough strength to make your own happiness and choose joy?” That is sinister. People are dealing with deadly pandemics, systemic racism, police brutality, and Rachel Hollis is proclaiming herself the best person to walk us through 2020 with her new book? White lady saviour complex indeed. Honestly, Hollis’ continued ”pick yourself up by your bootstraps” mentality is over. This is not a healthy way to process trauma. The implications are the messages of ”Why don't you just move on? Don't you have enough strength to make your own happiness and choose joy?” That is sinister. People are dealing with deadly pandemics, systemic racism, police brutality, and Rachel Hollis is proclaiming herself the best person to walk us through 2020 with her new book? White lady saviour complex indeed. Honestly, we all need trauma counselling after this year, and Rachel Hollis is a fraud who will post on Instagram about making out with her husband to convince you to pay $800 for her marriage course and then announce her divorce two weeks later. Consult a real expert and stop getting empty advice like ”choose joy every day” from a lifestyle blogger. Sometimes I choose to cry in bed and watching sad movies because life is hard. Other times I choose listlessness while I share my struggles in therapy. I can't always choose joy, and Rachel Hollis doesn't either.

  3. 5 out of 5

    Jharrytexas

    I can’t believe anyone would buy any of her books. Do your research and make sure you know what this Author is all about. FYI- She wrote books on marriage and is now getting a divorce.

  4. 4 out of 5

    Elyse Walters

    “In the introduction, author Rachele Hollis says: “I considered pushing this book away or scrapping it all together. I didn’t think I was ready—I wasn’t sure I’d ever be ready. I questioned whether I could teach and learn at the same time— because this lesson, this work, feels like the hardest I’ve ever done”. She goes on to say.... “There’s and old expression that says we should teach or write or share only from our ‘scars’, never from our wounds, and I have lived by it. Meaning, I have been i “In the introduction, author Rachele Hollis says: “I considered pushing this book away or scrapping it all together. I didn’t think I was ready—I wasn’t sure I’d ever be ready. I questioned whether I could teach and learn at the same time— because this lesson, this work, feels like the hardest I’ve ever done”. She goes on to say.... “There’s and old expression that says we should teach or write or share only from our ‘scars’, never from our wounds, and I have lived by it. Meaning, I have been intentional about never processing the hard parts of my life ‘with you’ but instead have only ever shared what has been effective for me ‘after’ I’ve done the work”. I received this small hardcopy in the mail as a gift. (happy heart warming surprise with other books) I had zero knowledge about the author. I had zero knowledge of what this little book would be. But.... Rachel Hollis is a two-time #1 New York Times bestselling author. I’m guessing it was me living under a rock. “She is one of the most sought after motivational speakers”. But I didn’t know who she was at all. Anyway... I had the book - couldn’t sleep - so read it in the middle of the night. ( skimmed parts... read a little in every sectional topics though) Hollis shared her opinion about identity. In her opinion there are four different kinds of identity crisis as it pertains to loss/pain/grief: —You had an identity and it was taken away from you. —You want an identity that is denied to you. —You chose an identity and no longer want it. —Someone else chose an Identity for you that isn’t who they are. Personally -I don’t think of identity in these terms...but that’s okay. Right away ...I was pretty sure this book wasn’t for me.... but I kept reading ... Then skimmed it... The examined topics include: ...Identity the New You ...Stop Questioning Your Suffering ...Let Go of Guilt .... There is more... Try on another perspective, change your mind about getting better, hack your courage, show up, get real about your finances, be surprised by resilience, cling to your good habits, or make some new ones, choose joy even when life sucks, reimagine your future, and hold on to hope. For me — this book didn’t work as ‘both’ being a ‘teaching’ book... and a ‘self-processing’ book at the same time. I learned a few things about the author.... ....things that she has been working on in therapy for 23 years. This book included: Personal stories, personal opinions, and personal advice. (loss, grief, finances, ways to not “nibble”, at problems, etc.) Sweet gift ... the author sounds authentic - in heart- But .. .I’m not the right audience. I’ll pass this book on to someone who wants it. Not sure how to rate it... About 2 to 2.5 stars.

  5. 5 out of 5

    Mel

    I was provided a free copy eARC through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. This book was written about grief and how to go through the hurting process. My takeaway from this is that the author wants you to choose an optimistic mindset. To choose happiness. Easier said than done and this book didn't offer much advice. I honestly don't remember much of what is said in this book. There are so many unnecessary anecdotes thrown in, that it becomes difficult to remember what the original topic I was provided a free copy eARC through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. This book was written about grief and how to go through the hurting process. My takeaway from this is that the author wants you to choose an optimistic mindset. To choose happiness. Easier said than done and this book didn't offer much advice. I honestly don't remember much of what is said in this book. There are so many unnecessary anecdotes thrown in, that it becomes difficult to remember what the original topic was. Also there seemed to be a lot of self promotion. I also didn't feel like this book contained actionable advice, which I'm sure readers would like. I also couldn't understand how some chapters related to the main topic of grief. Overall, I felt lost in the writing and don't feel like I've learned anything.

  6. 4 out of 5

    Coley

    Having given up on Girl, Wash Your Face 1/4 of the way through, I went into this book (provided to me by NetGalley in advance for my honest review) trying to keep an open mind. But I couldn’t even make it through the introduction without rolling my eyes at the things Hollis writes, often referring to her readers as “girls” and trying to be witty by asking the Dalai Lama (If he’s reading) to give her a 5 star review. Though most readers will believe they’re getting an inside look on Hollis’ divor Having given up on Girl, Wash Your Face 1/4 of the way through, I went into this book (provided to me by NetGalley in advance for my honest review) trying to keep an open mind. But I couldn’t even make it through the introduction without rolling my eyes at the things Hollis writes, often referring to her readers as “girls” and trying to be witty by asking the Dalai Lama (If he’s reading) to give her a 5 star review. Though most readers will believe they’re getting an inside look on Hollis’ divorce - spoiler - you’re not. Most of her references are focused on getting through difficult times, struggles in your life and financial hardships. She circles back to her brothers suicide a lot as a point of reference. I found this book to be a lot of lite advice on moving on (in any way/shape/form) from various instances in your life. Nothing groundbreaking and nothing you couldn’t find yourself by simply doing a bit of Googling.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Jill

    This book was published a few months after announcing the divorce. She is profiting on her fake life. I wonder why people would give her their money. Rise up people and raise your standards.

  8. 5 out of 5

    Steph Carr

    3.5 stars, but rounded up because while I'm not currently in a season of grief, I think it could help someone who is and I don't want the negative reviews of people who haven't read this to turn someone away from something that could be useful to them. Reading the ARC for this one feels a bit different from Rachel's previous books. It's a bit grittier in parts where she shares more details of stories you've read about in her previous books, including her brother's suicide, early family life, lea 3.5 stars, but rounded up because while I'm not currently in a season of grief, I think it could help someone who is and I don't want the negative reviews of people who haven't read this to turn someone away from something that could be useful to them. Reading the ARC for this one feels a bit different from Rachel's previous books. It's a bit grittier in parts where she shares more details of stories you've read about in her previous books, including her brother's suicide, early family life, leading a business through the Great Recession, and postpartum struggles. She does touch on her divorce, but doesn't give much space for it since it is fresh and she's still processing it. This book follows the same format of her previous books which a chapter of stories, wrapped up with a couple "things that helped me." While I do think some of these stories and action steps could help someone out of a dark place, many are repetitions from her previous books/ podcasts. If you're familiar with her platform and not struggling with grief then it probably isn't the book for you. However, it's incredibly short, so if you're curious about the extra details or need a reminder about setting habits, then pick it up. Side note: I'm oddly intrigued that Dave isn't mentioned in the acknowledgements since they repeatedly talked publicly about remaining friends and business partners with a positive relationship...

  9. 5 out of 5

    Cori

    This is garbage. This is a woman who met and married a millionaire at age 19. She has several nannies and housecleaners on staff. She is sitting in such a place of privilege that it is disgusting and disingenuous to paint this fake narrative around her "grief". She is a LIAR! It is a bunch of recycled and/or plagiarized content from her old books and from OTHERS content. She couldn't site a source to save her life. Aside from all of this....It's just a poorly written book. It is bad. Very Bad. P This is garbage. This is a woman who met and married a millionaire at age 19. She has several nannies and housecleaners on staff. She is sitting in such a place of privilege that it is disgusting and disingenuous to paint this fake narrative around her "grief". She is a LIAR! It is a bunch of recycled and/or plagiarized content from her old books and from OTHERS content. She couldn't site a source to save her life. Aside from all of this....It's just a poorly written book. It is bad. Very Bad. Please seek out a professional to guide you through grief and purchase books from real experts on the subject to help navigate you. Rachel Hollis is not a "sherpa". Rachel Hollis is a FRAUD!

  10. 4 out of 5

    Mindi A

    Let me preference my less than favorable review with this...I’m a Rach fan! I’ve attended RISE conferences and read all her books (even the fictions ones)...plus done her online coaching too! Her talks, words and presence helped me through some dark times in my life....But to say this book was special like the last two (GWYF and GSA) would be a lie. Now don’t get me wrong, if you’ve not bought into Hollis yet, and this is your first read by her...it will be a great read. But for True devotees lik Let me preference my less than favorable review with this...I’m a Rach fan! I’ve attended RISE conferences and read all her books (even the fictions ones)...plus done her online coaching too! Her talks, words and presence helped me through some dark times in my life....But to say this book was special like the last two (GWYF and GSA) would be a lie. Now don’t get me wrong, if you’ve not bought into Hollis yet, and this is your first read by her...it will be a great read. But for True devotees like myself, it fell a little flat. There were too many of the same examples, same stories, same topics and honestly it didn’t feel any different; felt more like she took favored parts of both her other books and wrote a shorter version - think cliff notes. Sure there were a few good laughs, but most were from stories I’d already heard. I was truly expecting more about grief, divorce, truly hard things since that’s the period of her life she’s currently in - and so are most of us during these trying times. I needed it to be more raw, especially with such a bold title. It felt to me this was a rush to keep her image and brand alive admits the online criticisms, divorce, and other life events Though this book wasn’t my favorite, I will continue to support her and her books. Everyone has moments that just don’t come out as planned. I still will look forward to see where life takes her and to see what’s next , but for now I won’t be rereading this like I had GWYF and GSA *was given early access to this book thanks to the publisher -not a paid review-*

  11. 5 out of 5

    Shannon Mahoney

    I want to preface this by saying 1) I am a huge fan of RH’s last 2 books. I recommended them to everyone & bought copies for countless friends. I’ve listened to every single podcast & was a devout listener of the morning show. Basically I’m a fan! 2)While I was sad to hear about the Hollis’ divorce- I was sad for pain their family was going through & have zero judgement. I have a lot of respect for them making such a hard decision for their family esp in the public eye. 3) I bought this book & a I want to preface this by saying 1) I am a huge fan of RH’s last 2 books. I recommended them to everyone & bought copies for countless friends. I’ve listened to every single podcast & was a devout listener of the morning show. Basically I’m a fan! 2)While I was sad to hear about the Hollis’ divorce- I was sad for pain their family was going through & have zero judgement. I have a lot of respect for them making such a hard decision for their family esp in the public eye. 3) I bought this book & am writing this review on my vs being tasked to do so & 4) I can handle tough love, accountability & vulnerability. In fact I seek it out & appreciate leaders with those values . However with all that being said - It took everything in me to complete this book. Easy, quick read? Absolutely! But RH is processing some really heavy things & it made for a messy book full of what felt like brutal projections, harsh judgements & scathing shaming. The book is filled with motivation/directions like (not a direct quote) “don’t you dare” scare or scar your children because your are sad, “dont you dare” let them see you struggle etc. It was painful & not in the tough love , productive kind of way - in the kind of way when someone is literally shaming you & telling you not to be dumb (almost a direct quote). I know that RH is a say-it-like-it-is kind of girl & I love that. However, this book is coming from a very fresh, deep gaping wound that she is in the process of healing from & clearerly trying to process and grapple with & therefore projecting onto readers (other women who are inevitably healing from or in active crisis). I love & can appreciate RH’s go-get-em outlook & tough as nails spirit - it’s who she is, I believe they are her gifts & clearly products of hard things she’s gone through but these gifts and tools do not feel like they are shared from humility or love but rather from pain & guilt. I’ve never written a review this critical but I cringe thinking of the incredible women in my life & many others reading or hearing this book filled with so much judgement. I do appreciate the attempt to be vulnerable in such a challenging time & I do think you have so much to offer us but I think you missed this one by a long shot. Sorry Rach, still rooting for you <3

  12. 4 out of 5

    Natalie Polito

    I was provided a free copy eARC through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Didn't See That Coming, Putting Life Back Together When Your World Falls Apart by Rachel Hollis Publisher: Harper Collins Publishers, Dey Street Books Genre: Nonfiction (Adult) | Self-Help Release Date: September 29, 2020 Initially I’m pleasantly surprised how much I loved this book and all the advice it gave. I will say it from the roof tops because all I saw on media was “a book about divorce already???” NOPE. This I was provided a free copy eARC through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Didn't See That Coming, Putting Life Back Together When Your World Falls Apart by Rachel Hollis Publisher: Harper Collins Publishers, Dey Street Books Genre: Nonfiction (Adult) | Self-Help Release Date: September 29, 2020 Initially I’m pleasantly surprised how much I loved this book and all the advice it gave. I will say it from the roof tops because all I saw on media was “a book about divorce already???” NOPE. This 👏 is 👏 not 👏 a 👏 book 👏 about divorce. This book surprised me being a Rachel Hollis fan, in the sense that we are seeing an even more vulnerable and confident woman we previously have not seen. Now don't get me wrong, she is still authentically herself but I feel like this new filter is written in this book where she is cursing and allowing us to see EXACTLY how passionate she feels about a subject. Just like her other books, each chapter discus's a topic including real life examples of how that topic effects her and then ends the chapter with actionable advice of how we can as the reader improve on it with our life. I personally loved the chapter on perspective. Not only when reading this book during a pandemic is stress enough... but in my personal life dealing with childhood trauma.... this chapter helps me wrap my head around actions I can choose. "There's immense power in understanding that you are subconsciously coloring your reality through the lens of past experiences. If you can understand that you hold the power to perceive something as entirely negative, you harness the power to see positives in every situation too." I recommend this book to anyone who has dealt with or is currently dealing with stress, anxiety and grief. I feel each one is touched on. Those who deal with all three or one of each knows that even if you push past it... it will always find a way to sneak back in. That's why I do believe whether it's a present pain or not this book is important.

  13. 5 out of 5

    Nastasia M. Street

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I love Rachel Hollis. I truly enjoy the majority of her content. However, this book is toxic. It is repetitive. It is self promoting. There are small nuggets of useful information buried in a sea of how other people didn't show up for her well. She holds this position that she is perfect. Here is how I handled everything so well. I hurt the people closest to me with zero guilt. I'm hurt but guilty of nothing. The worst part is that her so called self help will hurt as many, if not more than it w I love Rachel Hollis. I truly enjoy the majority of her content. However, this book is toxic. It is repetitive. It is self promoting. There are small nuggets of useful information buried in a sea of how other people didn't show up for her well. She holds this position that she is perfect. Here is how I handled everything so well. I hurt the people closest to me with zero guilt. I'm hurt but guilty of nothing. The worst part is that her so called self help will hurt as many, if not more than it will help because of her so called tough love and superiority complex. I will say that if you do choose to read it, don't get the audio version. Her tone of voice makes it sound even more condescending.

  14. 4 out of 5

    Caitlin Cusey

    Out of touch and tone-deaf. Her Girl Wash Your Face book really helped in a time of lacking vulnerability from women. I have since come to see that a good majority of her "influence" is false and misleading. Also that she is NOT a qualified person to give trauma advice for many instances. If "pick yourself up by your bootstraps" or "move on" and "choose joy" worked for a sexual assault survivor like myself then I wouldn't have to spend the piles of money on meds and therapy. This book is riddled Out of touch and tone-deaf. Her Girl Wash Your Face book really helped in a time of lacking vulnerability from women. I have since come to see that a good majority of her "influence" is false and misleading. Also that she is NOT a qualified person to give trauma advice for many instances. If "pick yourself up by your bootstraps" or "move on" and "choose joy" worked for a sexual assault survivor like myself then I wouldn't have to spend the piles of money on meds and therapy. This book is riddled with toxic positivity. As humans we are built to feel and fully understand the entire range of emotions. Yes, don't get stuck in one, but it is ok to have a traumatic event leave an imprint on your life. It is also to be said, our own life experiences are NOT a qualified "fix" for the masses. Also, in a time of systematic injustices, "choosing to be happy" is NOT an option if you want to change the Nation/World. As a white woman I've taken this time to check my privilege, where as with Rachel and more specifically this book, it seems as though she's missing the point of the very hard time we are in right now. She built a large portion of her business on her marriage/couples advice. Only to find out that the Hollis duo was crumbling behind the scenes. The hypocrisy of that is undeniable. During the past year, I've taken a deeper look at Rachel's "advice" and a lot needed to be discarded. I truly feel that she is NOT OPEN to criticism. Yes, there are the haters but even well thought out criticism she ignores or out right speaks down on them. Maybe a memoir would be better but I do feel like her past two books are another regurgitation of her first book. I haven't seen any true GROWTH from her. In fact, I've seen the veil fall and the true interior be exposed. The interior needs some work.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Emily Schultz

    This is my first Rachel Hollis book and while I hope it will be my last, it probably won't be. I learned who Rachel was this year. During quarantine, I found out all about her and how she supports MLMs and sells marriage advice without any qualifications to do so. After watching so much about her, I saw the post announcing her divorce to the world. I was mad for the people who spend thousands of dollars to listen to her talk about how to have a perfect marriage, all while hers was falling apart b This is my first Rachel Hollis book and while I hope it will be my last, it probably won't be. I learned who Rachel was this year. During quarantine, I found out all about her and how she supports MLMs and sells marriage advice without any qualifications to do so. After watching so much about her, I saw the post announcing her divorce to the world. I was mad for the people who spend thousands of dollars to listen to her talk about how to have a perfect marriage, all while hers was falling apart behind the scenes. Rachel prides herself on how she is so open and transparent, but if that was true, the divorce announcement would not have shocked her entire fan base. I do not consider myself a fan, I just keep up with her to see the shady/wrong things she is doing. Having a virtual Rise conference during quarantine (tickets ranging from $40-$200 dollars for advice on how to make a marriage stronger) and getting a divorce months later is not transparent and it is taking advantage of vulnerable women. Rachel announced her divorce on June 8. July 27, this book was announced. September 29th, the book was released. It was marketed to make it seem like it was all about the divorce, and that was not true. The book even starts with “Three days into editing this book, my marriage ended. A sixteen-year marriage to the father of my four children. An eighteen-year relationship with my best friend. The foundation of my life, everything that once was, crumbled between one breath and another.” I saw this as a blatant money grab to milk her divorce and I still partially agree with that. Some quotes that I did not like: “My work has always been honest.” I have already discussed why that is not true. “Nobody walks through fire unscathed. You either burn up into ashes or you get forged in the flames and emerge as something new. So, what will you choose? Will you allow this season that you’re in to wear you down and diminish you? Will you become bitter or angry? Will you live the rest of your life drowning in anxiety and fear of being hurt again? Will you allow loss to define you for the rest of your life? Or will you fight back?” Some people literally will never recover from trauma and that is okay? Page 68 “...I beg you to remember that hatred never heals-only love can do that.” This quote shocked me because it is almost identical to the famous MLK Jr. quote, "​Hate can­not dri­ve out hate; only love can do that.” Her potentially plagiarizing one of the leaders of the Civil Rights Movement is disgusting. MLK did not do what he did just to have his words stolen. Rachel talked about how moved she was about the recent events that led to the BLM movement. She talks (without giving names) about George Floyd and says she was disappointed in the police, in the justice system, yet she potentially steals a quote from one of the most famous leaders of the Civil Rights movement. I cannot support that and I'm not sure how others could, either. Page 136 “During the quarantine we experienced from Covid-19, we small-business owners felt this keenly." First off, it's COVID-19. Second, Rachel and Dave own multi million dollar business. I do not consider them small business owners and it is a slap in the face of every small business owner out there. The parts I did like: Page 146 “Get a job if you need to. Sell your old stuff on eBay. Learn all about “flipping”things on Amazon and then go and do it. Go research, hit up Google, ask YouTube to help. If you’re not sure how to make extra income there are so many ideas to help you but please remember this important prerequisite: figure out a way to make more income that doesn’t cost you any money to start. For real. I’m positive someone is going to read this and be inspired to head on over to the Internet and ask how she should make extra income and then, four weeks later, her starter kit has arrived for the new at-home business she just paid $ 700 to join. Don’t be dumb! Figure out ways to make money that don’t require money." This quote SHOCKED ME. Rachel has spoken at countless MLM retreats, motivating women to join or stay in their 'business,' even though less than 1% of people ever turn a profit in that type of business. She has spoken to the most vulnerable of women and encouraged them to be a part of something financially dangerous. Her denouncing MLMs shows that she is a major hypocrite. She has officially bitten the hand that feeds her and she will (most likely) never speak at an MLM conference again (good). This could be character growth, or just hypocrisy. Who knows? But her saying this is shocking. Imagine how many people joined one of those businesses because she told them too and now she says this? The betrayal is something extraordinary. Rachel did get real in the last two chapters of the book. She went into detail of her adoption process and her brother's death. Both stories seemed real, raw, and genuine. Those were my favorite part because you could really feel Rachel's actually emotions. She wasn't faking. End Thoughts: If you can suffer through the humble brags and quirk queen moments throughout this book, perhaps pick it up. She is not qualified since she does not have any certification to help you, but I guess, go for it. Rachel stans will read it regardless. Finally, my message to Rachel (who will not read this because she has said so many times she does not reads reviews), Girl, Stop Exploiting Your Divorce To Vulnerable Women Who Eat Up Your Every Word.

  16. 4 out of 5

    Alora

    Definitely won’t be wasting my “dumb” earned money on this book! How could she bite the hand that fed her MILLIONS?! To call network marketing and direct sales dumb, after speaking at several events and supporting women in this industry....I would call THAT dumb. Disgusted and so disappointed. Praying for the millions of women in DS who looked up to her and prayed for her, that are now heartbroken and disappointed and also praying for her. Definitely wouldn’t want to be Rachel Hollis waking up t Definitely won’t be wasting my “dumb” earned money on this book! How could she bite the hand that fed her MILLIONS?! To call network marketing and direct sales dumb, after speaking at several events and supporting women in this industry....I would call THAT dumb. Disgusted and so disappointed. Praying for the millions of women in DS who looked up to her and prayed for her, that are now heartbroken and disappointed and also praying for her. Definitely wouldn’t want to be Rachel Hollis waking up today. I bet she “Didn’t See That Coming”

  17. 4 out of 5

    Rebekah

    I had to stop listening to this book in the chapter that told parents how do handle the loss of a child. My four month old baby passed away and I had a 3 year old and 6 year old and a husband I felt like I needed to stay strong for. I was the person Rachel says to be. I showed up for my family. I was strong. And it was absolutely not the right thing to do. Maybe one day my children will write a book and say what she is saying and I will take back this review. But I have seen my kids become compa I had to stop listening to this book in the chapter that told parents how do handle the loss of a child. My four month old baby passed away and I had a 3 year old and 6 year old and a husband I felt like I needed to stay strong for. I was the person Rachel says to be. I showed up for my family. I was strong. And it was absolutely not the right thing to do. Maybe one day my children will write a book and say what she is saying and I will take back this review. But I have seen my kids become compassionate, aware human beings. They know I love them. They know people have breakdowns. They know they are safe in our home to express themselves and their grief. They don’t see a mom and dad who always have it together. They see people who are struggling and battling for love. I get it, don’t let grief shut you down and steal your life. But don’t let it steal your authenticity with your family.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Sharon :)

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I wish I had this quick kick in the pants book during the rough spots in marriage and then through my divorce. Chapter on finances was good and referencing the pandemic. The advice on searching overcoming the specifics of your problem versus looking at it broadly. I did feel this book is for an entry level self help reader and I have been deep in the genre for a few years now so readers beware. I love Rachel’s energy so I will give anything she puts out a listen and definitely get a few takeaway I wish I had this quick kick in the pants book during the rough spots in marriage and then through my divorce. Chapter on finances was good and referencing the pandemic. The advice on searching overcoming the specifics of your problem versus looking at it broadly. I did feel this book is for an entry level self help reader and I have been deep in the genre for a few years now so readers beware. I love Rachel’s energy so I will give anything she puts out a listen and definitely get a few takeaways!

  19. 5 out of 5

    Jennifer Meyer

    Y’all! I finished this book and I feel like I need to read it again. I was digesting it so very fast! I have followed Rachel Hollis for 2 years now. I started by reading her first NY Times Bestseller, Girl, Wash Your Face. It was my first toe-dip into the personal development space. I watched every Start Today Show in those 2 years, and even did daily recaps in my Tales of the Tribe group. I started following others she recommended, mentors and books to check out. I went back and listened to eve Y’all! I finished this book and I feel like I need to read it again. I was digesting it so very fast! I have followed Rachel Hollis for 2 years now. I started by reading her first NY Times Bestseller, Girl, Wash Your Face. It was my first toe-dip into the personal development space. I watched every Start Today Show in those 2 years, and even did daily recaps in my Tales of the Tribe group. I started following others she recommended, mentors and books to check out. I went back and listened to every single Rise podcast. I dove voraciously in every way I could, to soak up all the knowledge like a sponge. I did Rachel’s life coaching in 2019. I helped launch her book, Girl, Stop Apologizing. I attended Rise Dallas, Rise Biz and her first Virtual Rise conference. I was able to test her App and will attend her next Virtual conference in a little over a week. I didn’t miss one of her Quibi episodes for the first 4 months. I give you all of this background so that I may vouch for having a whole lot of knowledge of this woman. I was practically drowning in the Kool-aid. I was asked to be on her launch team for this book- Didn’t See That Coming. I hadn’t been sure I would read it at the time. This is what I still know. She is human just like you and I. She does some amazing things. She makes mistakes. She calls her shot, she goes through hard things yet she always stands back up. I think that whether you love her or have left her due to recent personal issues, you owe it to yourself and to Rachel to hear the depth of these words and to know how deep they rose from her to escape. #didntseethatcomingthebook

  20. 5 out of 5

    Julia Seaton

    I was provided a free copy eARC through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. I love all things Hollis and she has helped me navigate through some trying times. I was so excited to read this book and gather some new strategies in this uncertain season. But, no new content was found. If you have read her other books, attended any conferences or taken any coaching classes, everything in this book is repeating stories and analogies already delivered by the author. She did go a little deeper in I was provided a free copy eARC through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. I love all things Hollis and she has helped me navigate through some trying times. I was so excited to read this book and gather some new strategies in this uncertain season. But, no new content was found. If you have read her other books, attended any conferences or taken any coaching classes, everything in this book is repeating stories and analogies already delivered by the author. She did go a little deeper into her brothers passing and that I'm sure was difficult. But she's already guided us through her processing of this. It was a nice review of past information. I look forward to her book on wellness and I will continue to follow her work. She does lead and live with positivity and you can't get enough of that these days.

  21. 4 out of 5

    Jessica Jang

    I'm pretty sure I gave her previous two books 5 stars. This one was just heavy. She's going through a hard time and is wading through. It is encouraging. She recommends a lot of resources and books and strategies that work for her. None of which I found extremely enlightening, but I can see their value for others. I did write down all the books recommended (that I haven't read) and plan on reading those. This seems to also be a letter to her brother who committed suicide. I think I would definit I'm pretty sure I gave her previous two books 5 stars. This one was just heavy. She's going through a hard time and is wading through. It is encouraging. She recommends a lot of resources and books and strategies that work for her. None of which I found extremely enlightening, but I can see their value for others. I did write down all the books recommended (that I haven't read) and plan on reading those. This seems to also be a letter to her brother who committed suicide. I think I would definitely like this book more if it didn't feel like she was just trying to put words on paper to meet her quota. It definitely has that feel. I want to thank NetGalley for gifting me this advanced reader's copy for an honest review. #didntseethatcoming #rachelhollis #netgalley

  22. 4 out of 5

    Kim

    This book kinda startled me. I didnt want to like it. Honestly I am still shaken by her marriage breakup. I felt betrayed by her. I thought we were supposed to work on things. That being said I do understand her turmoil and her struggles and it was in the end a good book. Not great but good.

  23. 5 out of 5

    Christal Brown

    I received a complimentary preview copy of the book from the publisher in exchange for writing a review You need to know that I am not part of the “Rach” crazy fan club or a Hollis mega fan—I have read Girl Wash her face previously and enjoyed it. I say this just to let you know that my review comes from my thoughts for the book as it is and not anything else. I just finished this book. I have to say I think it’s a culmination of her work. Rachel is amazing at just telling you how it is and can h I received a complimentary preview copy of the book from the publisher in exchange for writing a review You need to know that I am not part of the “Rach” crazy fan club or a Hollis mega fan—I have read Girl Wash her face previously and enjoyed it. I say this just to let you know that my review comes from my thoughts for the book as it is and not anything else. I just finished this book. I have to say I think it’s a culmination of her work. Rachel is amazing at just telling you how it is and can help bring clarity to light. Rachel shared her personal trauma to help others- whether you are in this space currently, have been or again will be this book brings light to these times. One of my favorite quotes in the book is, “I am willing to be the villain of someone else’s story if it means I can be the hero in mine.” This has gone against everything I have been taught (forego my own happiness to ensure others are happy) and it is such a power statement and my new mantra! During the midst of a Pandemic this book has motivation and tips to keep going and dealing with it all. In the book these topics are addressed: perspective, courage, showing up, letting go, resilience, etc. In only the candor she can provide she shows us how to stay the course, to stand up for ourselves, to hope and have faith. Here are two more of my personal favorite quotes: Plenty of people will look at their past and only see the hardships, the hurt, the loss, but I choose to see all my pain and trauma and grief as the reason I am the women I am today.”- Rachel Hollis “If someone tries to make you feel badly with the line, ‘you’ve changed’ your only response should be, Thank you, I’m working at it!’” Rachel Hollis

  24. 5 out of 5

    Nikki

    I have read her other books and enjoyed them, however this one felt more like sitting in on a therapy session or listening to someone who is trying to figure out their next steps. The tips at the end of each chapter are all solid advice, but I felt this book was too heavy on personal stories... like she was trying to sell herself as an authority on the topic. I give her a ton of credit for opening up about her grief the way she did, but reading about her grief while trying to navigate your own j I have read her other books and enjoyed them, however this one felt more like sitting in on a therapy session or listening to someone who is trying to figure out their next steps. The tips at the end of each chapter are all solid advice, but I felt this book was too heavy on personal stories... like she was trying to sell herself as an authority on the topic. I give her a ton of credit for opening up about her grief the way she did, but reading about her grief while trying to navigate your own just doesn’t work in my opinion.

  25. 5 out of 5

    Caryn

    It was raw, it was honest, and overall I loved it!! No one else but Rachel even thought to write a book during a pandemic in hopes of helping others during a time so difficult for many. There are others out there that have no idea how to put one foot in front of another in this very moment, and not many are as uniquely qualified to help you do just that like your pal Rach. I was grateful to get a copy of the book from the publisher even though it’s not released yet.

  26. 4 out of 5

    Darlynn

    I am an entrenched Rachel Hollis fan. I drink the juice errr water, attend the conferences, buy all the things. I am very thankful for the impact Rachel has had on me and my life and have enjoyed the many times Rachel has sprouted some wisdom, just because it is Wednesday. I have finally found someone who’s words resonate me to my core. Yes! And! I have a feeling some reviews you will read aren’t favorable. Because I closely tune in, some of the stories I heard were not for the first time. Even a I am an entrenched Rachel Hollis fan. I drink the juice errr water, attend the conferences, buy all the things. I am very thankful for the impact Rachel has had on me and my life and have enjoyed the many times Rachel has sprouted some wisdom, just because it is Wednesday. I have finally found someone who’s words resonate me to my core. Yes! And! I have a feeling some reviews you will read aren’t favorable. Because I closely tune in, some of the stories I heard were not for the first time. Even as I am in a happy place right now as I was reading, I could think of ten people that could use this as the best way to be introduced to Rachel and her heart. If it isn’t for you (right now), it is for someone you hold dear (right now). It was a little bummer to not get some new stuffage in a book form but found some good nuggets regardless and that’s what her lives and her Rises are for! I was given the great privilege of having early access to this book via the publisher/launch team.

  27. 4 out of 5

    Meghan

    This book was received as an ARC from Dey Street Books in exchange for an honest review. Opinions and thoughts expressed in this review are completely my own. I am a huge fan of Rachel Hollis from both of her books Girl Wash Your Face and Girl Stop Apologizing and saw the impact they had on not only our community but myself too. Didn't See That Coming however was a game-changer. This is a very hard topic to reflect on and a lot of her personal achievements and struggles really hit home for me. Ev This book was received as an ARC from Dey Street Books in exchange for an honest review. Opinions and thoughts expressed in this review are completely my own. I am a huge fan of Rachel Hollis from both of her books Girl Wash Your Face and Girl Stop Apologizing and saw the impact they had on not only our community but myself too. Didn't See That Coming however was a game-changer. This is a very hard topic to reflect on and a lot of her personal achievements and struggles really hit home for me. Even though this was a tough book to write for Rachel, I am so glad she stayed true to herself and stayed positive throughout the book. I know a lot of people in our library community will benefit from the stories and experiences Rachel shares in this book. We will consider adding this title to our Self-Help collection at our library. That is why we give this book 5 stars.

  28. 5 out of 5

    Mandy (Bookishlove85)

    3.5 stars . I decided to get this in Audible on a whim today. I had forgotten this book was coming out but knew I had liked her previous book sso I figured why not. It was only 5 hours and I was in need of some kind of healing or hope that after all the heart ache and pain I've suffered since this time last year, that I could finally find something written by someone who might have the answers I needed to make that happen. I will say there were some things in this book that don't pertain to me an 3.5 stars . I decided to get this in Audible on a whim today. I had forgotten this book was coming out but knew I had liked her previous book sso I figured why not. It was only 5 hours and I was in need of some kind of healing or hope that after all the heart ache and pain I've suffered since this time last year, that I could finally find something written by someone who might have the answers I needed to make that happen. I will say there were some things in this book that don't pertain to me and didnt hold my iterest and there are a few things she talks about handling that is NOT how I would handle it. But outside of that I did find some things within in this book that resonated with me and gave me some to think about. In a good way. So even though this book didn't hold all the answers and wasn't exactly what I was hoping it was, it was a good first step in finding answers and in giving me the strength to keep moving forward.

  29. 4 out of 5

    Melanie Maloney

    No matter how hard it seems this is your life to live. Make the most of it.

  30. 5 out of 5

    Kimberly

    If this book didn't feel like just a rehash of her previous books, I would have given it five starts.

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