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An inspiring, hilarious memoir about learning to resist the pressures of conformity, love yourself for who you are, embrace your flaws, and unlock your true potential. Now cohost of Fox's The Real and SiriusXM's Café Mocha, Loni Love hasn't taken the typical path to becoming America's favorite straight-talking girlfriend and comedian. She was not the child of Hollywood lege An inspiring, hilarious memoir about learning to resist the pressures of conformity, love yourself for who you are, embrace your flaws, and unlock your true potential. Now cohost of Fox's The Real and SiriusXM's Café Mocha, Loni Love hasn't taken the typical path to becoming America's favorite straight-talking girlfriend and comedian. She was not the child of Hollywood legends and she never wore a size 00. Rather, she grew up in housing projects in Detroit, more worried about affording her next meal than going on a diet. When she moved to Hollywood after graduating college with an engineering degree, seeking to break out in the entertainment world, there was nothing that would convince her to eat the kale salads and quinoa bowls that her colleagues introduced her to, which looked to Love like "weeds my grandma used to pay me a dollar to pull from her yard." Still, despite the differences that set her apart in the status-driven world of entertainment where being thin, young, blond, and bubbly is sometimes considered a talent, Love spent years trying to fit in -- trying to style her hair just so, dieting, dating the men she thought she was supposed to be with. In this book, she tells the uproariously funny story of how she overcame the trap of self-improvement and instead learned to embrace who she was. As Love writes, "There's a saying a lot of people live by: 'Fake it till you make it.' For me, it's always been 'fake it, and then have the whole thing blow up in your face.'" I Tried to Change So You Don't Have To explores all of the embarrassing mistakes, terrifying challenges, and unexpected breakthroughs that taught her how, by committing ourselves to our own path, we can take control of our destiny.


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An inspiring, hilarious memoir about learning to resist the pressures of conformity, love yourself for who you are, embrace your flaws, and unlock your true potential. Now cohost of Fox's The Real and SiriusXM's Café Mocha, Loni Love hasn't taken the typical path to becoming America's favorite straight-talking girlfriend and comedian. She was not the child of Hollywood lege An inspiring, hilarious memoir about learning to resist the pressures of conformity, love yourself for who you are, embrace your flaws, and unlock your true potential. Now cohost of Fox's The Real and SiriusXM's Café Mocha, Loni Love hasn't taken the typical path to becoming America's favorite straight-talking girlfriend and comedian. She was not the child of Hollywood legends and she never wore a size 00. Rather, she grew up in housing projects in Detroit, more worried about affording her next meal than going on a diet. When she moved to Hollywood after graduating college with an engineering degree, seeking to break out in the entertainment world, there was nothing that would convince her to eat the kale salads and quinoa bowls that her colleagues introduced her to, which looked to Love like "weeds my grandma used to pay me a dollar to pull from her yard." Still, despite the differences that set her apart in the status-driven world of entertainment where being thin, young, blond, and bubbly is sometimes considered a talent, Love spent years trying to fit in -- trying to style her hair just so, dieting, dating the men she thought she was supposed to be with. In this book, she tells the uproariously funny story of how she overcame the trap of self-improvement and instead learned to embrace who she was. As Love writes, "There's a saying a lot of people live by: 'Fake it till you make it.' For me, it's always been 'fake it, and then have the whole thing blow up in your face.'" I Tried to Change So You Don't Have To explores all of the embarrassing mistakes, terrifying challenges, and unexpected breakthroughs that taught her how, by committing ourselves to our own path, we can take control of our destiny.

30 review for I Tried to Change So You Don't Have To: True Life Lessons

  1. 4 out of 5

    Mehrsa

    This was really great and really honest and totally hilarious. I love how she explores race, class, gender issues in her own way. Highly recommend.

  2. 4 out of 5

    britt_brooke

    I’ve never seen The Real - daytime tv isn’t my thing - but I LOVED Loni when she was on the Chelsea Lately “Round Table” years ago. I miss that show! Loni, real name Yolanda Gill, came up in a turbulent home in Detroit’s Brewster-Douglas projects. Working hard and overcoming many challenges, she ultimately landed in California, pursuing her life-long desire to make others laugh. Loved her hilarious how-to type lists. A fun read!

  3. 5 out of 5

    Lauren Stoolfire

    Now that was an inspiring and flat out funny memoir. I glad I just happened to pick this up at the library.

  4. 5 out of 5

    TL

    Could not put this down. So much respect for Loni <3 *Read via Overdrive app*

  5. 4 out of 5

    Orsolya

    I first noticed comedian Loni Love during her appearances/commentaries on the, “I Love the (insert 80s, 90s, etc)” programs on VH1 in the early 2000s. You know the ones – unless you are too young and just aged me. I thought Loni had charisma, a warm energy and was bluntly: hilarious as hell with her comedic timing. Nowadays, Loni is best known as one of the hosts on the Emmy-winning daytime talk show, “The Real” and as a co-host on the podcast, “Café Mocha”. Love, who spent much of her life not I first noticed comedian Loni Love during her appearances/commentaries on the, “I Love the (insert 80s, 90s, etc)” programs on VH1 in the early 2000s. You know the ones – unless you are too young and just aged me. I thought Loni had charisma, a warm energy and was bluntly: hilarious as hell with her comedic timing. Nowadays, Loni is best known as one of the hosts on the Emmy-winning daytime talk show, “The Real” and as a co-host on the podcast, “Café Mocha”. Love, who spent much of her life not exposing her entire psyche to others; puts it all on the table in the her memoir, “I Tried to Change so you Don’t Have to: True Life Lessons”. Love prefaces her own text with a fair warning that although the life events that fill the ensuing pages are authentic; as a comedian, she has taken the liberty to exaggerate or joke for sensationalism, change names to protect the innocent and create composite characters/timelines. Respect is handed to Love as quite a few celebrities do this without giving it a second thought but never reveal the honest veil in their own memoirs. “I Tried to Change so you Don’t Have to” is stylized in a chronological format starting with Love’s early childhood but focuses more on important events rather than a run-of-the-mill autobiography (hence the ‘life lessons’). Love’s voice jumps from the pages immediately with her knack for storytelling and organic ability to connect with the reader. Love simply doesn’t even need to have to ‘try’ to be ‘real’ – readers feel like they are conversing with a best friend. Not to mention, if a reader has their first laugh-out-loud moment as soon as page four; then “I Tried to Change so you Don’t Have to” must be good. To drive this point further, Love doesn’t concentrate on being funny and her prose is intelligent with a delicious narrative: the comedic effects come naturally. This is a refreshing contrast to typical celebrity memoirs; allowing reader to bond with Love and learn her life story/background rather than just be entertained. Love successfully accomplishes this without an elitist attitude or talking down to readers. I live in Hollywood and Los Angeles has a very ‘Us versus Them’ –mentality with most celebrities thinking us regular folk are dirt. Loni Love is NOT one of those celebrities. “I Tried to Change so you Don’t Have to” is incredibly well-written, smooth and cohesive in its arc. Love knows the secret formula on how long she should dwell on a single topic and never bores the reader or goes off on tangents; but also knows the precise moment to move it along like a perfect fictional piece. “I Tried to Change so you Don’t Have to” is compelling and certainly a page-turner while being accessible with a friendly tone. Now, for all readers hooked on celebrity memoirs but sick to death of the sex, drugs and rehab stories paired with the name-dropping of fellow famous stars; topped off with a ‘woe is me’-attitude screaming, “Privilege!”… Then thank your deity of choice because you will NOT find that in Love’s text. I’m sure Love has plenty of juicy tea to spill; but she keeps it classy and knows that those stories do not validate who she is and neither do they have a place in her memoir. Well done, Loni Love! “I Tried to Change so you Don’t Have to” maintains its vibrant energy throughout; never feeling repetitive or dragged out just to fulfill a page count. Either Love has an amazing editor or she is a stupendous writer (probably a mixture of both). The only time Love addresses gossip is a quick blurb regarding the media debacle behind the hasty departure of a co-host on “The Real” is 2016 which Love was (falsely) pinned as the blame. Love mentions the subsequent dark period of fans lashing out and making death threats to her person. Even in this chapter, Love remains steadfast in her professional attitude and neither bad talks others or overly defends her perspective. Love has an admirable spirit that is genuine, raw, nuanced and filled with emotional maturity. “I Tried to Change so you Don’t Have to” closes with a brief look at how Love found love (no pun intended) with her current partner, James. Love did not have to share such personal information (I personally wanted more of this but I am admittedly nosy!); but her choice was positive as it is the perfect finality to the memoir and ended on a memorable note alongside a quick one-on-one pep talk with readers. “I Tried to Change so you Don’t Have to” is strong from beginning to end. Love supplements the text with a small section of black-and-white photo color plates. Loni Love is a well-rounded, amazing woman who truly worked her ass off and rose from the poverty of Detroit to get to where she is. Nothing was handed to her and “I Tried to Change so you Don’t Have to” addresses these rooted psychological effected and yet flows with compassion for others. “I Tried to Change so you Don’t Have to” is a quick (two-day) read that entertains and counsels readers in a loving manner. “I Tried to Change so you Don’t Have to” is recommended for all fans of Loni Love and/or celebrity memoirs.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Alana

    Being that Love herself says at the beginning that there are some embellishments and some outright made up stuff, since she is a comedienne, after all, it's hard to know what is an exact account and what isn't. But that's not really the point... the overall tone rings with truth, and while the exact details of a narrative may not be reality, the fact is, it's based in truth, just by the very feeling. The homelessness, the not fitting in, the realities of "the hood," or office cubicle life, or tr Being that Love herself says at the beginning that there are some embellishments and some outright made up stuff, since she is a comedienne, after all, it's hard to know what is an exact account and what isn't. But that's not really the point... the overall tone rings with truth, and while the exact details of a narrative may not be reality, the fact is, it's based in truth, just by the very feeling. The homelessness, the not fitting in, the realities of "the hood," or office cubicle life, or trying to get ahead in Hollywood.... we've heard these types of stories before, so we know the basis of reality. Love uses wit and charm to describe some everyday life, and some not-so-everyday for the rest of us (having never been to Hollywood, I have to take her word for it). She tackles banal and serious subjects alike, and brings her own humor and seriousness to both. I hadn't heard of her until this year, I confess, and only picked this up because I have been trying to learn more about some of the racial disparities in our "modern" culture and discovered there was going to be panel discussion from some current black authors on the NAACP website and decided to check out some of their books. Though I can't directly relate to a lot of her experiences, to the human connection and wanting to "fit in" so much that I'm too often willing to try to change myself to accomplish this... to that I most certainly CAN relate! I wouldn't call this a "must-read" but it's certainly worth your time should you choose to pick it up. It's also a quick read, and kind of a nice "get away" from watching the news, even while addressing relevant topics.

  7. 4 out of 5

    ReadnliftwithShar

    I was able to read an advance reader copy of this book from Netgalley. It will be released on June 23, 2020. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this memoir. Loni Love is a great storyteller and I’ve always enjoyed following her. In this book, Loni talks about her life growing up in the projects in Detroit, her becoming homeless when she was barely an adult, and then her college experience. Loni overcame a ton of obstacles in her life, but, she was still aiming for something greater. Sure, becoming an I was able to read an advance reader copy of this book from Netgalley. It will be released on June 23, 2020. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this memoir. Loni Love is a great storyteller and I’ve always enjoyed following her. In this book, Loni talks about her life growing up in the projects in Detroit, her becoming homeless when she was barely an adult, and then her college experience. Loni overcame a ton of obstacles in her life, but, she was still aiming for something greater. Sure, becoming an engineer, graduating college, and obtaining a great job with benefits were all accomplishments but Loni wanted more. Her courageousness to quit her job to fully invest In her passion of comedy was inspiring. I found this to be an easy read that was lighthearted and at times funny but it offered a good amount of wisdom and life lessons. I would actually read this book more than once. Very good read!

  8. 5 out of 5

    Angélique Alexis Davis

    This is the best memoir I've read yet. I laughed. I cried. Seriously, I shed actual tears and people who know me know I do not cry. The way Loni wrote about herself and her experiences and all of her growth, I felt that in my soul. (Also. I have a soft spot for nerds). She's been one of my favorite people for a very long time and this book has cemented her place. This I will 100% read over and over and over again. This is the best memoir I've read yet. I laughed. I cried. Seriously, I shed actual tears and people who know me know I do not cry. The way Loni wrote about herself and her experiences and all of her growth, I felt that in my soul. (Also. I have a soft spot for nerds). She's been one of my favorite people for a very long time and this book has cemented her place. This I will 100% read over and over and over again.

  9. 4 out of 5

    LiteraryMarie

    In a new inspiring memoir, titled I Tried to Change So You Don't Have To, Loni Love stops trying to conform, embraces her flaws and tunes into her potential. Despite her last name, Loni grew up in a not-so-loving home. Without giving away her entire life's story, she went from growing up in the Brewster-Douglass Housing Projects to earning an engineering degree then making it in show biz. It was not an easy journey. Loni Love has worn many hats and crossed many paths in her young lifetime. She ha In a new inspiring memoir, titled I Tried to Change So You Don't Have To, Loni Love stops trying to conform, embraces her flaws and tunes into her potential. Despite her last name, Loni grew up in a not-so-loving home. Without giving away her entire life's story, she went from growing up in the Brewster-Douglass Housing Projects to earning an engineering degree then making it in show biz. It was not an easy journey. Loni Love has worn many hats and crossed many paths in her young lifetime. She has been places and experienced more than most people ever would. This fact makes the book cover so perfect! Most importantly, Loni Love stayed true to herself through all phases of her life. It is indeed admirable. I appreciate her straight-talk, the funny lists at the end of every chapter and her sharing embarrassing mistakes, accomplishments and necessary changes. I am a daily viewer of The Real where Loni Love is one of five co-hosts (all women of color). Her point of view is always appreciated and well spoken. However, I do not find her hilarious. Every now and then she delivers a funny one-liner. And her bits about cubicle life, that one black person in the office and a hard-knock life was chuckle-worthy. But I expected more LOL moments from a comedian. When reading a memoir, I keep in mind that all things are not as it seems. Truth may be embellished. Situations may be lightened up. The line between fact and fiction might blur. Hence why I read all memoirs with a side-eye. I Tried to Change So You Don't Have To was no exception. My eyes rolled every time Loni Love mentioned the projects where she grew up on the east side of Detroit. "Brewster-Douglass" was mentioned over 60 times. This is no exaggeration; I started to count. Also, I find it very hard to believe that Loni Love graduated from Cass Tech High School, one of thee best public high schools PERIODT, but never once met with a college counselor. She goes so far as to question whether the school even had one. I call bullshit. But there are other sections where Loni Love talks about relationships, a career and opening up to change that resonate with me. For example, numerous people have suggested that I throw deal-breakers out the window and try online dating. I shoo those ideas away every time. But there was something about the way she words her own story of finding love that made me think hmmm, maybe I should approach dating differently. Overall, Loni Love meets her purpose of providing readers with life lessons. Reminding us to be true to self and not conform to society's definitions. We control our own destiny. I may have issues with some content of the book but it does not negate her success, drive and spirit. I recommend it for every woman of color needing some real talk. Happy Early Pub Day, Loni Love! I Tried To Change So You Don't Have To will be available Tuesday, May 5. LiteraryMarie

  10. 4 out of 5

    Matt Chisling (MattyandtheBooks)

    Treat yourself this #NonFictionNovember to some quality advice from a hilarious voice who’s been to hell and back (and she’s not afraid to tell you about it!) Loni Love knows how to keep it real – after all, that’s what she does for a living! Love is a stand-up comedian, actress, author, and presenter, probably best known as the Emmy Award-winning co-host of The Real. She found her fame a little later in life, after paving the pavement for decades and getting doors shut in her face. Whether it wa Treat yourself this #NonFictionNovember to some quality advice from a hilarious voice who’s been to hell and back (and she’s not afraid to tell you about it!) Loni Love knows how to keep it real – after all, that’s what she does for a living! Love is a stand-up comedian, actress, author, and presenter, probably best known as the Emmy Award-winning co-host of The Real. She found her fame a little later in life, after paving the pavement for decades and getting doors shut in her face. Whether it was because of her Gender, Race, plus-sized body or unique attitude, it took Love longer than many of her contemporaries to find the A-level fame she has now. So how did a big-boned girl from the projects of Detroit go from sleeping in her car to working in a car factory, to working as an electrical engineer to working the Emmy Award stage? Well, jump into this book to find out. I Tried to Change So You Don’t Have To is, arguably, not a comprehensive memoir of Love’s life. Rather, this book is a tight collection of her Greatest Hits – A series of moments in her life that ultimately ended up shaping the woman she grew up to be. Love’s written voice is as brassy, cutting, and casual as her presentational style. The stories within are similarly presented the way a good stand-up routine would be – with just enough fact, a little pizzazz, and a tight deadline to get the punch line in. But that doesn’t mean that Love shies away from the hard stuff. In fact, if you’re looking for a celebrity tell-all or a hilarious collection of snafus, you’re not looking at the right text. The narrative style is funny, but the recollections are of the hardest moments that can shape a person. As a reader (and reviewer) I think it’s worth noting that Love’s lived experience differs greatly from my own. I can’t comment about her experiences as part of this review. But I greatly appreciate how candid and colourful the accounts are. Love’s given us a memoir that feels really her. If that means that we skim the surface in some places, that’s ok. Thanks to Hachette Go for my gifted copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!

  11. 4 out of 5

    Lane

    Wow, I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. And we're month *who knows* into quarantine so eliciting a laugh is no easy feat. There are parts of this memoir so funny that I found myself calling up my friends so I could read passages to them. So thank you Miss Loni Love. What this book did that I didn't expect, however, was to make me cry. I anticipated laughing-Loni is a funny lady. But seeing where she came from and how she made her own success along the way was so incredibly inspiring tha Wow, I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. And we're month *who knows* into quarantine so eliciting a laugh is no easy feat. There are parts of this memoir so funny that I found myself calling up my friends so I could read passages to them. So thank you Miss Loni Love. What this book did that I didn't expect, however, was to make me cry. I anticipated laughing-Loni is a funny lady. But seeing where she came from and how she made her own success along the way was so incredibly inspiring that it had me looking at my own life, like what are you doing right now to get where you're going. There were moments in this book that made me really sit with myself. For example, she mentions at one point that so often the things we want to change in ourselves are really just our response to others' criticism of us, and that really hit me hard, because isn't it the dang truth. Each chapter walking through a time in her life really gave a complete story, and I feel like she expertly answered every question I had along the way with heart and honesty. Truly, one of the best memoirs I've read and an instant favorite that I know I will be returning to again and again. I loved it so much I had to immediately go out and buy my own copy, which is now heavily tabbed and already well-loved. This book came just at a time I really needed it, and I couldn't possibly love it anymore (especially the whole wig bit...had me ROLLING!) Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Chris breeh

    5/5 Stars... This memoir was so good i love how it started from her childhood and where she grew up to every chapter being about what she went through. I also loved the little messages after each chapter and it made me look forward to what she was going to say. I recently started watching the real again and i was curious to read this just to get a better look at loni and im glad i did. Loni has such a nice spirit about her and this book made me laugh at some of the things she said. This is the 2nd m 5/5 Stars... This memoir was so good i love how it started from her childhood and where she grew up to every chapter being about what she went through. I also loved the little messages after each chapter and it made me look forward to what she was going to say. I recently started watching the real again and i was curious to read this just to get a better look at loni and im glad i did. Loni has such a nice spirit about her and this book made me laugh at some of the things she said. This is the 2nd memoir i have read because im picky at whos memoirs i read and im so glad i read this one i finished it in a day and a half i could not stop reading it. Thank you for writing such a good memoir loni and it makes me so happy you got yourself to where you are now. Keep being great on The real and the funny person you are queen! thank you netgalley for the arc

  13. 4 out of 5

    Ceylan (CeyGo)

    Thank you to NetGalley and Hachette Books for a DRC of this memoir in exchange for an honest review. I don’t watch daytime tv or talk shows so I really wasn’t familiar with Loni Love at all. This is a beautiful memoir about Ms Love’s childhood in the housing projects of Detroit, and her eventual rise to fame. Her stories of her childhood and college years were at times difficult to read - even though she writes with humour embedded throughout the book. I wish she had shared more of what happened to Thank you to NetGalley and Hachette Books for a DRC of this memoir in exchange for an honest review. I don’t watch daytime tv or talk shows so I really wasn’t familiar with Loni Love at all. This is a beautiful memoir about Ms Love’s childhood in the housing projects of Detroit, and her eventual rise to fame. Her stories of her childhood and college years were at times difficult to read - even though she writes with humour embedded throughout the book. I wish she had shared more of what happened to her brother after he moved out, and how/ if any reconciliation ever happened between her and her mom. The “making it in LA “ part of the story wasn’t as interesting to me, although still an enjoyable read.

  14. 5 out of 5

    superawesomekt

    I can't remember why I picked this one up, but I loved the title and I enjoyed this book. I am not a big TV consumer so I wasn't familiar with Loni Love prior to reading this, but I found her very likable. Love's story is interesting and relatable (in spite of being unlike mine in pretty much every way), which I think speaks to the power of her personality as well as the quality of her writing and humor. She has a strong sense of self and a healthy perspective and I found it interesting that whi I can't remember why I picked this one up, but I loved the title and I enjoyed this book. I am not a big TV consumer so I wasn't familiar with Loni Love prior to reading this, but I found her very likable. Love's story is interesting and relatable (in spite of being unlike mine in pretty much every way), which I think speaks to the power of her personality as well as the quality of her writing and humor. She has a strong sense of self and a healthy perspective and I found it interesting that while most of that was innate it also required acknowledgment and cultivation. Note: There is some strong language peppered throughout the novel as well as some sexual humor, but there is nothing graphic and the profanity is not relentless.

  15. 4 out of 5

    Laja

    This book is great because Loni is such a wonderful person and her heart shines through on every page. She is funny and entertaining but also soft and thoughtful. I was shocked to read about her early years and some of the struggles she overcame but of course, there is a happy ending and an an interesting journey to get there. I also watched Soul Plane for the first time after reading this book and that was a treat. This book felt like having a meal with one of your best storytelling friends.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Dawn

    Loved it! Loni tells the story of her life as she walks the readers through her difficult childhood, life in corporate America and her rise as a comedian. She inserts life hacks in between each chapter that are hilarious too. I highly recommend if you’re the fan of a unlikely success stories and like to laugh.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Kodee Spearman

    I listened to this on Audible and had such a GREAT time!!! Loni narrated it, and it was HILARIOUS! I felt connected to Loni by having my own roots in Detroit and also being a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. She told her story so well, included some humor and beautiful words of wisdom. I truly enjoyed this from the beginning to the end!!!

  18. 5 out of 5

    Aneka

    Absolutely a great life lesson book to read. Loni I greatly enjoyed it and it has me thinking to be the real me and never change for anyone. So for this book and lesson I want to say thank you so much for sharing your life with myself and everyone else. Your an amazing woman.

  19. 5 out of 5

    Elyse

    I do only know Loni Love from VH1's I Love the...[insert decade here] and various comedic stints on other peoples' shows. I've never seen The Real. So I knew next to nothing about her. I liked what she had to say and her outlook on life, Hollywood, men, etc. I do only know Loni Love from VH1's I Love the...[insert decade here] and various comedic stints on other peoples' shows. I've never seen The Real. So I knew next to nothing about her. I liked what she had to say and her outlook on life, Hollywood, men, etc.

  20. 4 out of 5

    LiteraryMarie

    In a new inspiring memoir, titled I Tried to Change So You Don't Have To, Loni Love stops trying to conform, embraces her flaws and tunes into her potential. Despite her last name, Loni grew up in a not-so-loving home. Without giving away her entire life's story, she went from growing up in the Brewster-Douglass Housing Projects to earning an engineering degree then making it in show biz. It was not an easy journey. Loni Love has worn many hats and crossed many paths in her young lifetime. She ha In a new inspiring memoir, titled I Tried to Change So You Don't Have To, Loni Love stops trying to conform, embraces her flaws and tunes into her potential. Despite her last name, Loni grew up in a not-so-loving home. Without giving away her entire life's story, she went from growing up in the Brewster-Douglass Housing Projects to earning an engineering degree then making it in show biz. It was not an easy journey. Loni Love has worn many hats and crossed many paths in her young lifetime. She has been places and experienced more than most people ever would. This fact makes the book cover so perfect! Most importantly, Loni Love stayed true to herself through all phases of her life. It is indeed admirable. I appreciate her straight-talk, the funny lists at the end of every chapter and her sharing embarrassing mistakes, accomplishments and necessary changes. I am a daily viewer of The Real where Loni Love is one of five co-hosts (all women of color). Her point of view is always appreciated and well spoken. However, I do not find her hilarious. Every now and then she delivers a funny one-liner. And her bits about cubicle life, that one black person in the office and a hard-knock life was chuckle-worthy. But I expected more LOL moments from a comedian. When reading a memoir, I keep in mind that all things are not as it seems. Truth may be embellished. Situations may be lightened up. The line between fact and fiction might blur. Hence why I read all memoirs with a side-eye. I Tried to Change So You Don't Have To was no exception. My eyes rolled every time Loni Love mentioned the projects where she grew up on the east side of Detroit. "Brewster-Douglass" was mentioned over 60 times. This is no exaggeration; I started to count. Also, I find it very hard to believe that Loni Love graduated from Cass Tech High School, one of thee best public high schools PERIODT, but never once met with a college counselor. She goes so far as to question whether the school even had one. I call bullshit. But there are other sections where Loni Love talks about relationships, a career and opening up to change that resonate with me. For example, numerous people have suggested that I throw deal-breakers out the window and try online dating. I shoo those ideas away every time. But there was something about the way she words her own story of finding love that made me think hmmm, maybe I should approach dating differently. Overall, Loni Love meets her purpose of providing readers with life lessons. Reminding us to be true to self and not conform to society's definitions. We control our own destiny. I may have issues with some content of the book but it does not negate her success, drive and spirit. I recommend it for every woman of color needing some real talk. Happy Early Pub Day, Loni Love! I Tried To Change So You Don't Have To will be available Tuesday, May 5. Disclaimer: An advance copy was received directly from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Opinions are my own and would be the same if I spent my hard-earned coins. LiteraryMarie

  21. 4 out of 5

    Kimberly Hicks

    If any of you read Loni Love’s Love Him or Leave Him book and absolutely loved it, you’re in for another special treat! When I tell you Nerds your girl busted a gut laughing at her words this time around, oh yes, you had better believe I deserved all the laughs I managed to have. It was so damn refreshing to laugh and really feel and enjoy the experience. Loni is such a REAList for real! You know I’m not about spoilers, but I have to say when she talked about her brother Bruce and his brutally h If any of you read Loni Love’s Love Him or Leave Him book and absolutely loved it, you’re in for another special treat! When I tell you Nerds your girl busted a gut laughing at her words this time around, oh yes, you had better believe I deserved all the laughs I managed to have. It was so damn refreshing to laugh and really feel and enjoy the experience. Loni is such a REAList for real! You know I’m not about spoilers, but I have to say when she talked about her brother Bruce and his brutally honest nature, I laughed a good thirty minutes after reading. Yes, I had to bookmark that page and stop because that sh*t was so damn funny! Another section of the book that had me on the floor rolling was the sex-capade she had with a certain young man. OMG many people watched me laughing in the lobby of my office building, most likely thinking this Rona has really taken hold of her, but not knowing my true secret. This book is amazing! Loni’s words felt genuine, humbling and most definitely hilarious. She is the second celebrity I’ve read where she didn’t have a mother that deserved the “mother-of-the-year-award." Oh, hell no! Her mama was downright stank for how she mistreated her daughter. I wanted to reach through my Kindle and bitch slap the hell out of her mother. I tell you God really does have a sense of humor because Loni is most definitely laughing all the way to the bank now! I was horrified by the things she endured as a child, which made me think of some painful memories I had buried myself. I can relate to some of her pain whereas how the children behaved toward her. It’s so hard being a nerd. OMG, I’ve struggled with that most of my life. Loni and I most definitely share that bond. I felt all that pain plus! I tell ya, kids can be the damn worst, especially when you’re different because you’re smart! The Sexy Nerd gives I Tried To Change So You Don’t Have To five laugh-out-loud stars. Bottom line, if you need some comedy relief and true-life lessons, please give Loni Love’s book a try. I’m telling you, you will not be disappointed! She knows how to bring the funny! Loni, girl, us nerds must stick together! You are all right in my book! Much love to you sista! To read original post, please go to: https://www.thesexynerdrevue.com/2020...

  22. 4 out of 5

    Tangled in Text

    I haven't had cable for years and try to avoid the news and talk shows, so I was not familiar with Loni Love, but with my random selection at the library this ended up in my TBR stack. I appreciate that she started with an overview of her latest career moves and accomplishments so I could place her and I had at least heard of her show with that sense of direction. I didn't understand the title originally, thinking it could go in many different ways, but it's a nice sort of protective notion showi I haven't had cable for years and try to avoid the news and talk shows, so I was not familiar with Loni Love, but with my random selection at the library this ended up in my TBR stack. I appreciate that she started with an overview of her latest career moves and accomplishments so I could place her and I had at least heard of her show with that sense of direction. I didn't understand the title originally, thinking it could go in many different ways, but it's a nice sort of protective notion showing the world some of her biggest mistakes and life lessons, while she tried to change herself to be loved and accepted so we don't have to go through some of her growing pains. Some great, both sad and heartwarming life lessons were presented in a manner that felt very personal. She added some humor throughout, but didn't drown and distract the reader with a cheap laugh with every struggle. She was very vulnerable and real presenting her childhood and I felt connected to her wanting to keep reading and learn more about her. I knew nothing about Loni and I still enjoyed this book and wanted to keep reading just one more chapter each night, so I can imagine if you are already familiar with Loni what a gem this would be.

  23. 4 out of 5

    Book Reviews By Tara

    This book was much better than I thought it was going to be. Loni told some good and surprising stories about her childhood. There was so much I learned about her. Loni’s story is very interesting. The way she transitioned in life from growing up in the projects, to working in a car factory, and then unexpectedly going to college and becoming an engineer for Xerox, to ultimately breaking in to Hollywood, was all so very inspiring to read. Loni is the true definition of a self-made woman. The way This book was much better than I thought it was going to be. Loni told some good and surprising stories about her childhood. There was so much I learned about her. Loni’s story is very interesting. The way she transitioned in life from growing up in the projects, to working in a car factory, and then unexpectedly going to college and becoming an engineer for Xerox, to ultimately breaking in to Hollywood, was all so very inspiring to read. Loni is the true definition of a self-made woman. The way she moved into the different phases of life with no help from anyone on the inside is impressive. I really love how she found her way, on her own, against all odds. This book was also very humorous. Although there are some serious moments, her comedic talent definitely shines through. I definitely appreciated her witty delivery. Honestly, I wasn’t much of a Loni Love supporter before reading this book. I mean, I’ve seen her on tv, but I’ve never followed her career. But, after reading this book, Loni definitely has a new supporter. And in case you’re wondering if she explains her side of the whole 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐥/Tamar Braxton situation, the answer is yes, she does. I recommend this book to anyone looking for a good, lighthearted memoir. It’s a great read for the times we are living in. For, it’s a story of hope, encouragement and determination. And lord knows we are in need of all of those things right now!

  24. 4 out of 5

    Naturalgurl

    I Tried To Change So You Don't Have To by Loni Love was a book about how Loni grow up in the projects and made her way with hard work to become the co-host of The Real. Loni is the type of woman you call a friend with her contagious smile and wonderful personality. I enjoy her humor on the show very much and that's why I wanted to read her story. I loved reading about her starting out as a comic not knowing the rules and being her true self in her work. She knew what she wanted to do and made th I Tried To Change So You Don't Have To by Loni Love was a book about how Loni grow up in the projects and made her way with hard work to become the co-host of The Real. Loni is the type of woman you call a friend with her contagious smile and wonderful personality. I enjoy her humor on the show very much and that's why I wanted to read her story. I loved reading about her starting out as a comic not knowing the rules and being her true self in her work. She knew what she wanted to do and made the commitment to become a very good comedian. The book was interesting and detailed about living in her care, making it to college and working Trying to make it in the comedy circuit and her love life. I wanted to know more about her mother relationship with her mother. Why her aunt turned her away? Where is her brother? I was left with unanswered questions on her family life. Anyway, this is a book I would recommend if you want a good read with corny humor that will make you smile.

  25. 4 out of 5

    Brittany

    First off, Loni Love is as hilarious here as she is in her standup and other appearances. She tells us about her life, including growing up in the projects, working on the GM factory line, and what led her to Xerox, with humor and while imparting a few life lessons at the end of each chapter. There were many laugh out loud moments, along with some scenes that made you roll your eyes because of the racism and sexism (misogynoir) that Love has experienced throughout her life. Her tales of dating w First off, Loni Love is as hilarious here as she is in her standup and other appearances. She tells us about her life, including growing up in the projects, working on the GM factory line, and what led her to Xerox, with humor and while imparting a few life lessons at the end of each chapter. There were many laugh out loud moments, along with some scenes that made you roll your eyes because of the racism and sexism (misogynoir) that Love has experienced throughout her life. Her tales of dating were especially of interest to me. She spent much of her life single by choice, which makes sense given the time she spent working the chitlin circuit. Often these kinds of books are full of dating woes so it was refreshing that this one wasn't. I really enjoyed reading this. Highly recommend if you're looking for a light read that will also help you think about everyday experiences of racism and microaggressions.

  26. 4 out of 5

    Mandy Hazen

    Loni Love is HILARIOUS. A true testament to her commitment to the art and her protection of her personal life is not knowing everything that she has been through to get to where she is right now. It was so surprising to hear how the View came to be, and the rough progression of her comedy career from people judging her and telling her what she should and should not perform to the movie appearances. I have always found her hilarious and now have a huge newfound respect and love for her. I highly Loni Love is HILARIOUS. A true testament to her commitment to the art and her protection of her personal life is not knowing everything that she has been through to get to where she is right now. It was so surprising to hear how the View came to be, and the rough progression of her comedy career from people judging her and telling her what she should and should not perform to the movie appearances. I have always found her hilarious and now have a huge newfound respect and love for her. I highly recommend this book to anyone and everyone, such an amazing memoir. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

  27. 4 out of 5

    Marion Jones

    I Tried to Change So You Don’t Have To: True Life Lessons is a gem of a read. I absolutely loved this book! It is so refreshing to read an honest accounting of a celebrity’s life—what they were like growing up and what they have faced on their path to stardom. Loni Love takes us on a journey, from growing up in the projects to winning an Emmy for The Real. Has it been an easy journey? No, but that is one of the things that makes this a good read. Loni gives us insight into her thoughts and feeli I Tried to Change So You Don’t Have To: True Life Lessons is a gem of a read. I absolutely loved this book! It is so refreshing to read an honest accounting of a celebrity’s life—what they were like growing up and what they have faced on their path to stardom. Loni Love takes us on a journey, from growing up in the projects to winning an Emmy for The Real. Has it been an easy journey? No, but that is one of the things that makes this a good read. Loni gives us insight into her thoughts and feelings and shows us how to persevere thru it all. I definitely recommend this book! Thank you to NetGalley, the author and publisher for the opportunity to review this book.

  28. 5 out of 5

    Courtney

    I received an ARC from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. I’m a fan of The Real and all of the main ladies on it, but I especially like Loni for her bold personality, so I was excited to read a book from her and get more insight into her life and the lessons she’s learned through her experiences. And while the book is infused with her signature humor that had me in stitches, she also provides some moving commentary about what it was like to grow up with the obstacles she faced, like I received an ARC from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. I’m a fan of The Real and all of the main ladies on it, but I especially like Loni for her bold personality, so I was excited to read a book from her and get more insight into her life and the lessons she’s learned through her experiences. And while the book is infused with her signature humor that had me in stitches, she also provides some moving commentary about what it was like to grow up with the obstacles she faced, like poverty, racism, and uncertainty, and find both success and, eventually, self-love.

  29. 5 out of 5

    Dre

    She read sort of robotic at times on the audiobook and at first it was incredibly distracting. I didn't like her intro about where she grew up. She was trying to be funny and it just fell flat cause she was trying to make it seem like living in the hood was glamorous (eyeroll). I was still able to lose myself in her accounts which did make me laugh and felt refreshing seeing our commonalities, particularly her relationship with her mother. I like her personality and resilience. Good book, I just She read sort of robotic at times on the audiobook and at first it was incredibly distracting. I didn't like her intro about where she grew up. She was trying to be funny and it just fell flat cause she was trying to make it seem like living in the hood was glamorous (eyeroll). I was still able to lose myself in her accounts which did make me laugh and felt refreshing seeing our commonalities, particularly her relationship with her mother. I like her personality and resilience. Good book, I just wish it was longer.

  30. 4 out of 5

    QUEENIE

    This book had me on the first page. It took me a while to read because I didn't want it to end. I've always loved the author and I know this book was going to be all her personality. This book had life lessons that were funny and serious, humor (I laughed throughout the entire book, and some great moments. I was laughing out loud and had to contain myself several times. At the end of each chapter, she gives us some nuggets that I could appreciate, I already knew, and made me smile. I like that's This book had me on the first page. It took me a while to read because I didn't want it to end. I've always loved the author and I know this book was going to be all her personality. This book had life lessons that were funny and serious, humor (I laughed throughout the entire book, and some great moments. I was laughing out loud and had to contain myself several times. At the end of each chapter, she gives us some nuggets that I could appreciate, I already knew, and made me smile. I like that's all that was very transparent with her life. I can relate to some of the parts of her life that I kept nodding my head to some of her experiences in life. She has a powerful message for life. The journey was not hard for her but she got through it. That was so inspirational. I give it five stars and I would definitely recommend it.

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