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A Girl's Guide to Vampires

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All Joy Randall wants is a little old-fashioned romance, but when she participates in a "Goddess evoking" ceremony with her friend, Roxy, Joy finds out her future true love is a man with the potential to put her immortal soul in danger. At first the ever-practical Joy is ready to dismiss her vision as a product of too much gin and too many vampire romances, but while trave All Joy Randall wants is a little old-fashioned romance, but when she participates in a "Goddess evoking" ceremony with her friend, Roxy, Joy finds out her future true love is a man with the potential to put her immortal soul in danger. At first the ever-practical Joy is ready to dismiss her vision as a product of too much gin and too many vampire romances, but while traveling through the Czech Republic with Roxy, Joy begins to have some second thoughts about her mystery lover because she is suddenly plagued by visions of a lethally handsome stranger. Then, when she and Roxy attend a local GothFaire, Joy meets Raphael Griffin St. John, head of security, and she becomes even more bewildered because the dark and dangerous Raphael seems too close to her dreams for comfort.


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All Joy Randall wants is a little old-fashioned romance, but when she participates in a "Goddess evoking" ceremony with her friend, Roxy, Joy finds out her future true love is a man with the potential to put her immortal soul in danger. At first the ever-practical Joy is ready to dismiss her vision as a product of too much gin and too many vampire romances, but while trave All Joy Randall wants is a little old-fashioned romance, but when she participates in a "Goddess evoking" ceremony with her friend, Roxy, Joy finds out her future true love is a man with the potential to put her immortal soul in danger. At first the ever-practical Joy is ready to dismiss her vision as a product of too much gin and too many vampire romances, but while traveling through the Czech Republic with Roxy, Joy begins to have some second thoughts about her mystery lover because she is suddenly plagued by visions of a lethally handsome stranger. Then, when she and Roxy attend a local GothFaire, Joy meets Raphael Griffin St. John, head of security, and she becomes even more bewildered because the dark and dangerous Raphael seems too close to her dreams for comfort.

30 review for A Girl's Guide to Vampires

  1. 4 out of 5

    chucklesthescot

    I didn't get far with this book at all.The story sounded good-a couple of American friends who love vampires decide to go to the setting of their favourite books to see if the vampires actually exist. I thought this sounded fun but the two idiot vacant headed bitches and their stupid comments all the time really bugged me. They were immature and annoying with all their playground taunts. I was waiting for 'You smell!' 'No YOU smell WORSE poopy pants!' or something similar! And then the caveman b I didn't get far with this book at all.The story sounded good-a couple of American friends who love vampires decide to go to the setting of their favourite books to see if the vampires actually exist. I thought this sounded fun but the two idiot vacant headed bitches and their stupid comments all the time really bugged me. They were immature and annoying with all their playground taunts. I was waiting for 'You smell!' 'No YOU smell WORSE poopy pants!' or something similar! And then the caveman behaviour of the 'men' that they meet in the hotel bar that night had me gritting my teeth. The women were getting physically pushed around and hurt by these guys(I call that assault buddy!!!).I'd have checked out and gone home if men were shoving me down the stairs deliberately or treating me as if I was some kind of slag to be claimed and fought over because I'm sitting in a bar. I don't call that a romantic vacation! I call that a pretty damn scary place to be.Seduction is fine but intimidation and force ain't! No thank you, not my kind of book.

  2. 4 out of 5

    VampireNovelFan

    The title is false advertising! If you want an actual satisfying VAMPIRE story, this ain't the book to quench that thirst. You will be waiting and waiting and waiting for actual vampire action...and then the book ends. I tried really hard to get into this plot, but by the 50% mark it took a complete nose dive for me and never recovered. Between the insufferable main character and her b-f-f, their utter stupidity, the unfunny dialog, the lame plot lines, the ridiculous NON-VAMPIRIC sex scenes...I The title is false advertising! If you want an actual satisfying VAMPIRE story, this ain't the book to quench that thirst. You will be waiting and waiting and waiting for actual vampire action...and then the book ends. I tried really hard to get into this plot, but by the 50% mark it took a complete nose dive for me and never recovered. Between the insufferable main character and her b-f-f, their utter stupidity, the unfunny dialog, the lame plot lines, the ridiculous NON-VAMPIRIC sex scenes...I just feel robbed. (view spoiler)[The sex scenes were beyond weird. Not sure if I care to read about the main character about to get it on with the mysterious guy that she's known for 3 days while her friend is in the next room practically giving color commentary on the action. Call me a prude, but you would think that sort of thing would ruin the mood...But maybe it's just me. Not to mention how conversational they were in general for the other sex scenes. It was just bizarre to read. I was utterly sickened by Joy falling head over heels for this dude in practically no time. She's ready to spend the rest of her LIFE with him, and yet he could have EASILY been a villain. Then she meets the so-called vampire. She is his beloved, but she rejects him to stay with the lame ass human. I mean really, she should have given the vampire at least ONE day since her heart apparently works so quickly. But it's not like I cared one iota about these characters anyway. (hide spoiler)] This is the second vampire book in a row for me where there is discrepancy about human vs. vampire love interest. I would like to clarify that as a "VampireNovelFan", I am reading these kinds of series for smexy VAMPIRE action. Don't rope me in and just give general human stuff. When I want general human romance (which is never for fantasy books), I'll read it. C'MON, people! Though I like vamps, I do try to switch it up with general urban fantasy. It's just that every so often I'll want to read a good straight up vampire story, and I'm batting 0 for 2 this year. If anybody can recommend a good standalone book for me, PLEASE DO!! Do I recommend this series? Not in the least. I usually am all about lighter stories that take a comical approach, but this book overdid it to the point of where it wasn't enjoyable anymore. It probably didn't help that it later tried to add depth, but there was none because by that point I hated the book and wanted it over. I could say more; I probably should say more, but the more I write the angrier I get that I seriously wasted 3 days on this that I won't get back. I can totally understand everyone who didn't even bother to finish the book. As for me? Like a dolt, I usually have to finish no matter what. THIS book may have been just the thing I needed to break that habit. I will not be reading another installment from this series or any other book by this author. This seriously made me wonder why it's so hard to get published. *Review also posted to Amazon

  3. 4 out of 5

    Inara

    Title of the German edition: Blind Date mit einem Vampir As much as I love Katie MacAlister´s "Aisling Grey – Guardian"-Series I can´t say the same about this book. I didn´t like the heroine Joy and her best friend Roxy very much. I kow this book and the constant bickering between the two friends is supposed to be funny but that´s just not my sense of humor. I wished sometimes Joy would just shut up and go on with her investigation because the plot per se wasn´t uninteresting. Okay, there were some Title of the German edition: Blind Date mit einem Vampir As much as I love Katie MacAlister´s "Aisling Grey – Guardian"-Series I can´t say the same about this book. I didn´t like the heroine Joy and her best friend Roxy very much. I kow this book and the constant bickering between the two friends is supposed to be funny but that´s just not my sense of humor. I wished sometimes Joy would just shut up and go on with her investigation because the plot per se wasn´t uninteresting. Okay, there were some funny moments no doubt but Joy´s brainless babbling even during hot and steamy sex with her love interest made me only roll my eyes in exasperation. Stupidly I already have bought the following two books so I´ll read them eventually but I don´t think I will purchase another one in this series. And last but not least the title raised certain expectations of a vampire story but the only vampire in this book had a very marginal role .. much too little for my taste and my vampire addiction wasn´t satisfied in the least...disappointing! Website of the author: http://www.katiemacalister.com/

  4. 4 out of 5

    Morgan

    Katie MacAlister’s A Girl’s Guide to Vampires is to put it mildly a disappointment. The transparent plot, one-dimensional characters and simple story form a perfect trinity of hackneyed and trite elements to take this novel crashing down. The writing style was okay until the reader gets to sentences like “The cheerleading team in my nether parts kicked into overdrive,” or “ ‘You’re going to be the death of me,’ ‘I’m not going to kill you baby. Just take you to heaven and back.’ Oh Lord did he!” Katie MacAlister’s A Girl’s Guide to Vampires is to put it mildly a disappointment. The transparent plot, one-dimensional characters and simple story form a perfect trinity of hackneyed and trite elements to take this novel crashing down. The writing style was okay until the reader gets to sentences like “The cheerleading team in my nether parts kicked into overdrive,” or “ ‘You’re going to be the death of me,’ ‘I’m not going to kill you baby. Just take you to heaven and back.’ Oh Lord did he!” Barf. Sentences like these made me want to scream. This reads like fanfiction, bad fanfiction, the kind most commonly referred to as “Mary-Sue fic” in which the main character is a desperate female and the plot involves all sorts of hunky men suddenly fawning all over her. Though I have never read a Danielle Steel novel, I assume this is what it would be like with a tiny pinch of the paranormal thrown in there. If you need a little more plot and a bit less porn I would suggest the reader look elsewhere for entertainment.

  5. 4 out of 5

    Heather book whore & shifter slut extrordinaire

    This book was totally a 5***** star read for me! FUNNY as hell and I think I probably laughed in my head every second page and out loud at least once a chapter. The heroine and ber crazy sidekick - best friends who can tell each other anything and call each other on anything - have very interesting senses of humor and both use them defence when they are nervous or uncomfortable. Although sometimes Joy was just plain lippy! Raphael is your true alpha male - domineering and possessive and protectiv This book was totally a 5***** star read for me! FUNNY as hell and I think I probably laughed in my head every second page and out loud at least once a chapter. The heroine and ber crazy sidekick - best friends who can tell each other anything and call each other on anything - have very interesting senses of humor and both use them defence when they are nervous or uncomfortable. Although sometimes Joy was just plain lippy! Raphael is your true alpha male - domineering and possessive and protective and sexy as HELL! OMG The picture of him you get in your head as Joy describes what she sees when.... (read the book - its WORTH IT!) I enjoyed the cheesy side of this book and I can see that it would not be for everyone. I have a feeling that Katie MacAlister is an author that you either love or hate. Luckily for me I loved her sarcastic wit and sardonic charm and when a man growls at me I MELT (into a puddle of goo) just like Joy did. Was it original life changing profound wisdom that will affect me forever? No but it made me laugh and lust and made my day funnier and sexier that it would have been without it. To me that is a book I want to read again and again and again... and dream of in between! Looking forward to exploring the other books she has written - apparently there are dragons out there somewhere? I LOVE DRAGONS!!!!

  6. 5 out of 5

    Sarah Dizon

    Wow, I don't even know where to begin my review of A Girl's Guide to Dating Vampires. I thought I was completely over the whole vampire train because I have been bored with most of the vampire books I've read, but I guess I was just missing something. Katie MacAlister has totally changed that for me. I've already got the second book in the series on hold at the library. I think the best part of it was that it didn't completely revolve around vampires, and the vampires didn't make a large appeara Wow, I don't even know where to begin my review of A Girl's Guide to Dating Vampires. I thought I was completely over the whole vampire train because I have been bored with most of the vampire books I've read, but I guess I was just missing something. Katie MacAlister has totally changed that for me. I've already got the second book in the series on hold at the library. I think the best part of it was that it didn't completely revolve around vampires, and the vampires didn't make a large appearance in the novel. I was always guessing, who is the vampire?, who isn't the vampire? I loved, loved, loved the main character Joy and I thought Raphael was YUMMY! I was laughing the entire time and I have to say, if I could pick to be any literary character I would say Joy. I loved her wit, snarky come-backs, and sense of humor. Plus, she got to be with the gorgeous, and yummy Raphael. I thought I could predict most things in this book, but I found that I couldn't. There were twists and turns I wasn't expecting and it left me guessing until the very end. Also, did I mention Raphael was yummy?? Don't want to forget that! It was a light, humorous, quick read. One that I will definitely be reading again. I already requested it from Paperback Swap.

  7. 4 out of 5

    Sarah

    I absolutely loved this book - it had me laughing out loud from practically the first page. I'm just glad I wasn't reading it in public or I'd have received no end of strange looks. I just can't wait to read the next book in the series. Joy & her friend Roxy are both hopeless when it comes to love so they ask for assistance from a wiccan friend to find their true loves. Miranda's prediction for Roxy is quite straightforward - she'll find her true love within a month. However, when it comes to Joy I absolutely loved this book - it had me laughing out loud from practically the first page. I'm just glad I wasn't reading it in public or I'd have received no end of strange looks. I just can't wait to read the next book in the series. Joy & her friend Roxy are both hopeless when it comes to love so they ask for assistance from a wiccan friend to find their true loves. Miranda's prediction for Roxy is quite straightforward - she'll find her true love within a month. However, when it comes to Joy things are not so simple - there are going to be 2 men coming into her life and if she fails to pick the right one then she will be in danger of losing her soul. The 2 friends are both obsessed with reading vampire novels and love author C J Dante who writes a series about the Dark Ones. Roxy is convinced that the Dark Ones are real and is determined to meet the author & convince him to tell her how to find them. Joy is sure that they aren't real but is happy to go with Roxy to the Czech Republic to search for Dante. They arrive in the Czech Republic & find themselves in the middle of a Goth Festival and soon start attracting plenty of attention, both good and bad. Roxy is determined to find a Dark One but with people from the festival walking around dressed as vampires spotting the real thing is going to be difficult. I don't want to give any plot information away so I'll just say that there are plenty of crazy antics & twists to the story and I love the way the ending isn't what you're expecting. The book is filled with comedy, romance and lust with plenty of hot sex thrown in for good measure. If you want something light hearted but still with a paranormal twist then I'd definitely recommend this series.

  8. 5 out of 5

    Anita

    The is the first book of Katie MacAlister's Dark Ones series. It's a wacky contemporary paranormal romance that spoofs Christine Feehan's Carpathians series, but in a friendly sort of way. I've also been reading MacAlister's Aisling Gray Gardian series, and all MacAlister's heroines seem to be impervious to embarrassment, even as they charge ahead with foolish actions. They are brazen women and yet strangely endearing, quirky characters. I've also noticed that the "mysteries" in her books withho The is the first book of Katie MacAlister's Dark Ones series. It's a wacky contemporary paranormal romance that spoofs Christine Feehan's Carpathians series, but in a friendly sort of way. I've also been reading MacAlister's Aisling Gray Gardian series, and all MacAlister's heroines seem to be impervious to embarrassment, even as they charge ahead with foolish actions. They are brazen women and yet strangely endearing, quirky characters. I've also noticed that the "mysteries" in her books withhold key clues until the last 50 pages or so, making it unlikely that the reader will guess where the book's going. I suppose a mystery fan would find that frustrating. It's a fun, entertaining series, though. This particular book finds the characters Joy and Roxy on a vacation in the Chezch Republic pursuing their shared interest in a series of books about vampires. They are stalking the author who wrote them, and Roxy is trying to find a real vampire. They are also both looking for soul mates. There's a halloween goth fair visiting the town during their vacation and Joy becomes the love interest of three men - one might be a vampire, one might be a killer, and one might be the love of her life, or at least the lover of her dreams. Joy and Roxy spend their trip unraveling who's who. The novel has many steamy scenes with the man Joy takes as a lover.

  9. 5 out of 5

    graveyardgremlin

    A Girl's Guide to Vampires was a nice and pleasant surprise. While I do get tired of Katie MacAlister's same heroine in every book I read, I could tolerate Joy more that most others. But lord can they be moronic, and not in a good way. I do wish she could expand her female leads to be different in both of their physical and mental aspects, and not be the same old monotonous ones over and over again. Always my gripe. Now on to the rest of the book... The storyline was interesting, there was some hi A Girl's Guide to Vampires was a nice and pleasant surprise. While I do get tired of Katie MacAlister's same heroine in every book I read, I could tolerate Joy more that most others. But lord can they be moronic, and not in a good way. I do wish she could expand her female leads to be different in both of their physical and mental aspects, and not be the same old monotonous ones over and over again. Always my gripe. Now on to the rest of the book... The storyline was interesting, there was some hilarious moments, and overall I enjoyed it better than most of the contemporary romances Ms. MacAlister has written. I am very intrigued by Christian and can't wait to read his book in this series. Roxy, on the other hand, reminded me of a little, annoying, rabid yappy dog. Yes, she could provide entertainment, but if I knew someone like that, I'd go insane, or else commit homicide. Otherwise the book was fine entertainment but not a keeper for me. Probably the main reason I read the whole book was because of the intriguing Christian and wondering about his fate. 3.75 stars

  10. 4 out of 5

    Ruby

    Honestly, I wasn't really stirred one way or another when I was reading the book - it was a way to pass the time at work. The obvious spoof on Christine Feehan's Carpathian novels was funny (because you know how formulaic those are), but the two main female characters irritated the absolute ever-loving shit out of me. I could tell Katie MacAlister was going for the type of wisecracking camraderie and pull-no-punches tell it like it is antics that other writers have done much better, but Katie di Honestly, I wasn't really stirred one way or another when I was reading the book - it was a way to pass the time at work. The obvious spoof on Christine Feehan's Carpathian novels was funny (because you know how formulaic those are), but the two main female characters irritated the absolute ever-loving shit out of me. I could tell Katie MacAlister was going for the type of wisecracking camraderie and pull-no-punches tell it like it is antics that other writers have done much better, but Katie didn't quite hit it. In fact, if I had friends like Joy or Roxy, I'd've punched them in the ovaries more than once. The male characters weren't much better, the plot was so easy to figure out it was nearly transparent, and while it got a little better in the end, it was only a small improvement. I'll probably read the others in the series since I have them and I have nothing much else to do, but I can't say I'd recommend these to anyone else except my roommate so that we can laugh together. And because I like to force her to read mediocre books.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Monica

    This book is about a women and her friend traveling to a foreign country in search of the soul mates their witch friend predicted they would find. MacAlister's writing is smooth, witty, and freaking hilarious. I laughed out loud on so much of the dialogue and especially some of the monologue of the main character. The plot was strong, the romance was extra steamy, and the characters were wonderful. MacAlister has a strong command over vocabulary either, I loved the fact that she has written a ro This book is about a women and her friend traveling to a foreign country in search of the soul mates their witch friend predicted they would find. MacAlister's writing is smooth, witty, and freaking hilarious. I laughed out loud on so much of the dialogue and especially some of the monologue of the main character. The plot was strong, the romance was extra steamy, and the characters were wonderful. MacAlister has a strong command over vocabulary either, I loved the fact that she has written a romance that I didn't feel stupid reading. There is a reference to Christine Feehan's Carpathians in it as well which also made me laugh out loud. This book is definitely worth the read, as most likely the second one will be also. She will have you laughing and sighing through the book, I certainly was.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Francesca the Fierce (Under the Covers Book Blog)

    3.5 Stars I have read Ms. MacAlister before and frankly I’m not sure whey I didn’t pick up this series before now because I’ve loved her dragon books so much. There’s something about the over the top humor and totally unrealistic storylines (yeah, I’m saying unrealistic in a vampire book, don’t judge some are believable!!) A GIRL’S GUIDE TO VAMPIRES introduces us to a world of vampires that is, of course, sort of secret. Except for the fact that one author has written a series of paranormal ro 3.5 Stars I have read Ms. MacAlister before and frankly I’m not sure whey I didn’t pick up this series before now because I’ve loved her dragon books so much. There’s something about the over the top humor and totally unrealistic storylines (yeah, I’m saying unrealistic in a vampire book, don’t judge some are believable!!) A GIRL’S GUIDE TO VAMPIRES introduces us to a world of vampires that is, of course, sort of secret. Except for the fact that one author has written a series of paranormal romances that a lot of women may think is based on reality. Which is why Roxy wants to travel to the Czech Republic in search of the author. She drags along a non-believer and her BFF Joy. Our heroine. They are slowly involved more and more with the people in the town in their search for the ever elusive CJ Dante. And as Joy finds herself in a mating dance with a vampire she has no choice but believe they are real. If you want to take the book too seriously, then you won’t enjoy this story. It is meant to make you have a good time. Sometimes the dialogue is a little lame and cheesy but that’s part of the charm of this type of story for me. It was a fun read for me! On the vampire front though, I have to say I hope the rest of the series explores more of it. I feel like we barely touched the surface of the Dark Ones as there isn’t a lot of full on vampire action in this book. There’s a lot of suspicion of vampires, and belief of matings and mental connections and such, but actual fangy action is at a minimum. And a lot of what we learn about the Dark Ones is through the stories that Roxy knows from Dante’s books. Can’t wait to explore more of that.

  13. 5 out of 5

    Bark | Ladies Of Horror Fiction

    Hmmm, maybe it's my mood but I'm finding the heroine in this book snarky and immature as opposed to "witty" and "fun" as I've seen her described elsewhere. Maybe I'm just a grouch but she's managed to lampoon Wiccan's and Goth's and romance reader's in a way that is more insulting than hysterical. Or maybe I've gone and lost my sense of humor again. Later: I'm throwing in the towel at 100 pages. I'm just not finding this funny, the heroine is idiotic and so is her best friend who runs off to East Hmmm, maybe it's my mood but I'm finding the heroine in this book snarky and immature as opposed to "witty" and "fun" as I've seen her described elsewhere. Maybe I'm just a grouch but she's managed to lampoon Wiccan's and Goth's and romance reader's in a way that is more insulting than hysterical. Or maybe I've gone and lost my sense of humor again. Later: I'm throwing in the towel at 100 pages. I'm just not finding this funny, the heroine is idiotic and so is her best friend who runs off to Eastern Europe to find a group of vampires she's read about in a FICTIONAL novel. Roxy, the stupid and annoying best friend, is going to find herself a vampire and he'll fall truly, madly, deeply, forever in love with her instantly because he's attracted to her high IQ . . (no, even Roxy is not quite that stupid ~ she knows she'll nab a vamp because no man can resist her gorgeousness - please). Roxy drags Joy (the heroine) along for the ride. This exchange, following many just like it, is what finally did me in: The heroine to who I'm guessing is supposed to be the love interest: "For your information Mr. So-Stuck-On-Yourself-You-Probably-Attract-Flies, I was not flirting! I do not play games! And I most certainly was not batting my eyelashes at you, so you can get that idea right out of the pudding that passes for your brain!" "Pudding" he bellowed at me, outrage bristling from every pore. "Vanilla. With lumps in it!" I bellowed back. Witty, and quick this Joy is, eh? Seriously, I could not make this stuff up folks.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Jennifer

    Finally I have read the first one in the Dark Ones series. I hate reading books out of order and for some reason I started with the second book with this series. With how the first book ends I have the strong urge to pick up the second book again and find out what went on again. In this book we have the adventures of Joy and Roxy in the Czech Republic. They are spending two weeks there looking for A Dark One (Vampire) and checking the local sites. They luck out (don't characters in books always Finally I have read the first one in the Dark Ones series. I hate reading books out of order and for some reason I started with the second book with this series. With how the first book ends I have the strong urge to pick up the second book again and find out what went on again. In this book we have the adventures of Joy and Roxy in the Czech Republic. They are spending two weeks there looking for A Dark One (Vampire) and checking the local sites. They luck out (don't characters in books always luck out?) and there is a Goth Fair scheduled to be going on in the same village they are staying in and the final night of the fair will be held at an awesome (and seldom open to the public) castle. Joy and Roxy immediately meet the people working at the fair including a certain hunky hunky man who makes Joy's knee's turn into warm butter. There is mystery, hot sex, cool location, love, and snappy dialog in this one. One of my favorite lines in the book is when Joy states she is going to go and beat her man with a big dick (instead of stick) and never realizes her Freudian misspeak - but leaves Roxi rolling on the floor. Another fun read!

  15. 4 out of 5

    Holly

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I absolutely LOVED this book, and boy did it ever take me by surprise. Over the last few weeks, i've found myself having a hard time finding a book that could hold my interest after the first 100 pages or so.. That was so not the case with A Girl's Guide To Vampires...i devoured this book in less than 24 hours. Katie MacAlister has somehow managed to bring to life a story that is at once funny, endearing, touching, sweet & sexy. With characters that burst off the page and feel like people you act I absolutely LOVED this book, and boy did it ever take me by surprise. Over the last few weeks, i've found myself having a hard time finding a book that could hold my interest after the first 100 pages or so.. That was so not the case with A Girl's Guide To Vampires...i devoured this book in less than 24 hours. Katie MacAlister has somehow managed to bring to life a story that is at once funny, endearing, touching, sweet & sexy. With characters that burst off the page and feel like people you actually know. In the end, there was only one thing that bothered me; the emotional turmoil that Christian was in by the end of the story, was heartbreaking. Although, it does offer the perfect set up for the following book in the series Sex And The Single Vampire

  16. 4 out of 5

    Paige

    It took me a while to get into this book. It was really long and felt like I would never finish it. The story follow Joy Randall and her friend Roxy as they take a trip to Czech Republic. After their friend's vision that they will meet and Joy will be a Beloved to a vampire, they begin suspecting multiple men of being a vampire at the local fair. I didn't care for the introduction of so many characters, but I did come to really like Raphael St. John and Christian J. Dante. As a relationship bloom It took me a while to get into this book. It was really long and felt like I would never finish it. The story follow Joy Randall and her friend Roxy as they take a trip to Czech Republic. After their friend's vision that they will meet and Joy will be a Beloved to a vampire, they begin suspecting multiple men of being a vampire at the local fair. I didn't care for the introduction of so many characters, but I did come to really like Raphael St. John and Christian J. Dante. As a relationship blooms between Raphael, another claims her as his beloved. Although they share mind communication, Joy is not convinced she's the right beloved. But other problems trouble the fair as a murder spices up suspicions on everybody. Joy and Roxy make it their object to find the real killer to prove Raphael's innocence. Raphael, however, doesn't need their help as he's keeping a secret of his own. Over all, the book ended much better than it started and if I come across the next book I would probably read it.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Mel (booksandsundry)

    Twaddle. Absolute twaddle.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Blodeuedd Finland

    Goddess Goddess Goddess Ok you lost me

  19. 5 out of 5

    Under the Covers Book Blog

    I have read Ms. MacAlister before and frankly I'm not sure whey I didn't pick up this series before now because I've loved her dragon books so much. There's something about the over the top humor and totally unrealistic storylines (yeah, I'm saying unrealistic in a vampire book, don't judge some are believable!!) A GIRL'S GUIDE TO VAMPIRES introduces us to a world of vampires that is, of course, sort of secret. Except for the fact that one author has written a series of paranormal romances th I have read Ms. MacAlister before and frankly I'm not sure whey I didn't pick up this series before now because I've loved her dragon books so much. There's something about the over the top humor and totally unrealistic storylines (yeah, I'm saying unrealistic in a vampire book, don't judge some are believable!!) A GIRL'S GUIDE TO VAMPIRES introduces us to a world of vampires that is, of course, sort of secret. Except for the fact that one author has written a series of paranormal romances that a lot of women may think is based on reality. Which is why Roxy wants to travel to the Czech Republic in search of the author. She drags along a non-believer and her BFF Joy. Our heroine. They are slowly involved more and more with the people in the town in their search for the ever elusive CJ Dante. And as Joy finds herself in a mating dance with a vampire she has no choice but believe they are real. If you want to take the book too seriously, then you won't enjoy this story. It is meant to make you have a good time. Sometimes the dialogue is a little lame and cheesy but that's part of the charm of this type of story for me. It was a fun read for me! On the vampire front though, I have to say I hope the rest of the series explores more of it. I feel like we barely touched the surface of the Dark Ones as there isn't a lot of full on vampire action in this book. There's a lot of suspicion of vampires, and belief of matings and mental connections and such, but actual fangy action is at a minimum. And a lot of what we learn about the Dark Ones is through the stories that Roxy knows from Dante's books. Can't wait to explore more of that. Reviewed by Francesca❤ ♡ Don't want to miss any of our posts? Subscribe to our blog by email! ♡ ❤

  20. 5 out of 5

    Carolyn F.

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. This book was pretty good. I laughed outloud throughout the book. Joy and her friend Roxy remind me a lot of a modern day Lucy and Ethyl. I loved the romance between Joy and Raphael but felt really, really sorry for Christian. In the forward, Katie MacAlister thanked Christine Feehan and it appears that she patterned Christian after the Dark characters. Christian even used some of the same phrases that Feehan uses. I'm hoping book #2 will have him finding his "Beloved". This book was pretty good. I laughed outloud throughout the book. Joy and her friend Roxy remind me a lot of a modern day Lucy and Ethyl. I loved the romance between Joy and Raphael but felt really, really sorry for Christian. In the forward, Katie MacAlister thanked Christine Feehan and it appears that she patterned Christian after the Dark characters. Christian even used some of the same phrases that Feehan uses. I'm hoping book #2 will have him finding his "Beloved".

  21. 5 out of 5

    Samantha wickedshizuku Tolleson

    What is this tripe? I thought that this was supposed to be about vampires! It's implied in the title so why? Why!?! What is this tripe? I thought that this was supposed to be about vampires! It's implied in the title so why? Why!?!

  22. 4 out of 5

    ☔️ Stormy Day Reader

    I originally gave this book 5 stars and marked it as one of my favorites when I read it 4 years ago. I guess the hundreds of books I've read since then have raised the bar a bit because I found both Joy and Roxy extremely annoying through most of the book. I guess as an introduction to the series it was okay. Most first books kinda suck. I only gave it 3 stars because I did enjoy the ending. Without that it would have gotten 2. I originally gave this book 5 stars and marked it as one of my favorites when I read it 4 years ago. I guess the hundreds of books I've read since then have raised the bar a bit because I found both Joy and Roxy extremely annoying through most of the book. I guess as an introduction to the series it was okay. Most first books kinda suck. I only gave it 3 stars because I did enjoy the ending. Without that it would have gotten 2.

  23. 5 out of 5

    Angela

    18 March 2015: $0.99 on Kindle 10/27/2014: $1.99 on Kindle 18 March 2015: $0.99 on Kindle 10/27/2014: $1.99 on Kindle

  24. 4 out of 5

    Veronica Belmont

    Thoughts on Vaginal Fantasy tonight.

  25. 4 out of 5

    Sarah {The Bookish Knitter}

    3.5 Stars I have never been much of a fan of paranormal stories. I mean, I like ghost stories, but vampire stuff has never held much interest for me. I never read Twilight (I couldn't get over the whole sparkly thing); but I did read Anne Rice in high school and I did enjoy those. When this author came up for the challenge for October I thought it was fitting, being October a paranormal romance author fit the bill. I have never read her work before, and I really did like it! This wasn't sparkly, t 3.5 Stars I have never been much of a fan of paranormal stories. I mean, I like ghost stories, but vampire stuff has never held much interest for me. I never read Twilight (I couldn't get over the whole sparkly thing); but I did read Anne Rice in high school and I did enjoy those. When this author came up for the challenge for October I thought it was fitting, being October a paranormal romance author fit the bill. I have never read her work before, and I really did like it! This wasn't sparkly, teenage angst filled teenage vampires (Twilight) nor were they super scary, check under the bed before you go to sleep vampires (Interview with the Vampire or Dracula) but a great tongue-in-cheek look at vampires and vampire culture. I'm not going to tell you too much of the plot because I don't want to spoil too much, but I have to say as someone who is not a fan of this genre, I enjoyed this book very much. I liked the characters, all of them had great personalities and weren't carbon-copies of each other. Joy, the female lead and her best friend Roxy were funny and witty and sarcastic (reminded me of myself and my best friend). The male leads (some vampires and some not... I'm not telling you who was who), were dark and spooky, but could also be funny and charming. I have to admit I did have it figured out early on who certain people were; but there was a fun mystery aspect to the story that was great too. I also liked how the author changed things up a bit with how typical paranormal romances end. The audio was great; narrated by Karen White. I thought she did just a fantastic job, as usual. Challenge: RRRC October 2017 Monthly Challenge #3 - Featured Author Challenge

  26. 5 out of 5

    Melanie Page

    This review was originally published at Grab the Lapels! Please click the link for some fun GIFs I included in my review that are not here on Goodreads. A Girl’s Guide to Vampires (2003) by Katie MacAlister is a laugh-out-loud funny introduction to the world of “Dark Ones” — that is, vampires — and the rules about them (which are somewhat different from your typical vampire read). You’ll get many steamy scenes with descriptions of sex (almost entire in euphemisms), so hold on tight! The novel is n This review was originally published at Grab the Lapels! Please click the link for some fun GIFs I included in my review that are not here on Goodreads. A Girl’s Guide to Vampires (2003) by Katie MacAlister is a laugh-out-loud funny introduction to the world of “Dark Ones” — that is, vampires — and the rules about them (which are somewhat different from your typical vampire read). You’ll get many steamy scenes with descriptions of sex (almost entire in euphemisms), so hold on tight! The novel is narrated by Joy, a six-foot-tall woman who is best friends with Roxy. The two Americans head to the Czech Republic to find out more about, and try to meet, their favorite author C.J. Dante, who writes the Dark Ones series. That puts Katie MacAlister’s novel squarely in meta-fiction territory. It’s a book about Dark Ones that has characters in love with books about Dark Ones. Basically, A Girl’s Guide to Vampires knows what kind of novel it is and comments on that. In the Czech Republic, the friends meet several mysterious men: Raphael, Dominic, Milos, and Christian. When Joy starts having visions of someone (undead) feeding on blood, caressing her body, and calling out to her in her thoughts, and and Roxy just know from reading the Dante books that it’s a vampire! But can Joy and Roxy figure out which guy it is and convince him Joy isn’t his “beloved” and that he shouldn’t join his soul with hers? Though I read the paperback copy twice around 2003-2004, this time I listened to the Hoopla audio version narrated by Karen White. She easily and convincingly switches between men and women and French, Czech, German, British, and American accents! The story is set in the Czech Republic at a goth fair, which makes sense that the characters would be from many European neighbors. When I read this book, I forget that fact. Both American women sound different. Joy’s part sounds like Karen White’s regular voice, while Roxy is a peppier, squeakier person (which works because she’s described as small, like a woodland elf). White beautifully brings the story to life. Above all else, this is a romance/sex novel. Some readers have been disappointed the focus isn’t all on vampires. But it’s a different sexy novel from others I’ve read. While intimate, characters discuss what pleasures them and what does not, a sign of a healthy attitude toward sex. The euphemisms are all PG — the most “offensive” words are nipple and penis — which is nice because you get lusty sex without feeling like you’re entering the world of hardcore porn. MacAlister’s sex writing doesn’t take itself too seriously. Joy describes her desire to have sex with another character: “Good,” I gulped, suddenly one big mess of tingling body parts that wanted an immediate introduction to all of his body parts. I tried to slam down a mental barrier between his mind and mine, but it did no good. The cheerleaders in my groin were setting up fundraising car washes to finance a field trip to his groin. I don’t think the silliness ruins the actual sex scenes, either: “Are you going to narrate this whole thing?” I asked, peering down over my belly at him. “Must we have the annotated version of oral sex?” He grinned as he placed a kiss very carefully on the exact center of me. “I thought it might be more reassuring for you if you knew how much I was enjoying it, too.” “Oh. OK. That’s fine. I was just checking in case there was going to be a quiz later.” I did have two issues: there is a scene near the end during which no condom is used and one in which a condom has a “blow out,” but neither character seems concerned. Also, Roxy is a 24-year-old virgin who incessantly teases Joy about her sex life in a way that makes it sound like she has a busy one of her own. Why keep her virginal yet obsessed with Joy’s sexual activity? I support people waiting to have sex as long as they want, but the author’s choice didn’t seem to fit with the story. Overall, Roxy’s virginity and attitude combo don’t detract from the plot, though. In sexy romance novels, I’m always looking for how women are treated. Joy, taller and thicker than pixie-like Roxy, always mentally criticizes Roxy for how much she eats. This is not good. Three male characters fight over Joy’s affections, which can lead to phrases like, “She’s mine.” Joy points out when guys are having a “pissing contest” over her, and she doesn’t enjoy it. Quinn Morgendorffer from Daria used to love guys fighting over her. There’s also the icky Dominic constantly trying to kiss Joy’s hand and calling her pet names. This is also not good. But, the author carefully has Joy comment on all of these moments; she tells Dominic to let her go and stop calling her his angel. I felt good about these more progressive moments in which a woman verbally (and sometimes physically!) defends herself. I really enjoyed this book when it came out and even more now as an audio book due to Karen White. Thanks to Goodreads, I learned that this book kicked off a series called (appropriately) The Dark Ones. I’ve got all eleven books on my to-read shelf. In fact, book 2 is also on my #20BooksofSummer list! It looks like one character from A Girl’s Guide to Vampires book is the lead in the next book.

  27. 4 out of 5

    J

    Super hot vampire aka dark one, laugh out loud hilarious h, kept me still laughing 2nd time around., so did the followup books, making my way through series again.

  28. 4 out of 5

    Emily

    This was just a fun paranormal romance story about vampires which is one of my guilty reading pleasures.

  29. 5 out of 5

    Liliana Camarena

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. ****0.5 stars**** I stumbled across this book as I was searching for something to read. The title got my attention and I read a couple reviews with no spoilers. Most of them said that it was a no brainer but entertaining. So, I got the on electronic version because I decided that I was not going to waste money on it and there's no spanish nor english version in Mexico. A Girl's Guide to Vampires is the first of 10 (I think, seems there's a lot of .5s) books on the Dark Ones Series. Written by Kati ****0.5 stars**** I stumbled across this book as I was searching for something to read. The title got my attention and I read a couple reviews with no spoilers. Most of them said that it was a no brainer but entertaining. So, I got the on electronic version because I decided that I was not going to waste money on it and there's no spanish nor english version in Mexico. A Girl's Guide to Vampires is the first of 10 (I think, seems there's a lot of .5s) books on the Dark Ones Series. Written by Katie MacAllister and published on 2003. I'm going to do things a little bit different this time. I won't talk about the plot or the story, I am going straight to the review because I actually HATED this book. There are so many reasons why that I don't even know where to begin. First, I couldn't really understand what was going on on the story because the jumps between scenarios weren't really clear. The characters were completely underdeveloped. Joyful, yes Joyful, the main character narrates the story. We do not know much about her, we do not know her exact age ( I think she is 24 years old because that is the age of her best friend and they've known each other from kinder garten), we do not know where she works, we do not know anything about her family, background or how she looks. We get to know that she is more on the chubby side somewhere in the book when the main male character carries her to her room after she passes out after having a vision sent to her by a vampire. She says something about how she is to heavy to be carried and of course the stud replies by saying that she is just perfect. Roxy, her best friend and side kick, is a virgin obsessed with sex who is a huge fan of some vampires series and truly believes that they exist. That's why they go to the Czech Republic, to find vampires. Of course, Joy does not believe in them. Raphael is the main male character, he is mysterious, he is extremely handsome, he is strong, he likes Joyful from the first time he sees her and decides that he is going to marry her because one of his family's traditions is that the men in the family know the woman they are going to marry at first sight. Oh yeah! He is incredibly well endowed, he only uses extra-large condoms. How about that? Ms. MacAlister must think that we, the girls, are looking for a man with a big... part and that's what she gave us. Christian, the vampire of the story, happens to be the author of the books Roxy is obsessed with and is completely in love with Joyful. He thinks she is his Beloved and he is who sends all those visions to Joy. To let her know that he has marked her. It took me so much to read this book, I was really trying to get through it. I'm not the type of person who closes a book without giving it a chance so I fought to get to the end of it. I truly felt that I was reading a fan fiction written by a 16 year old. The writing was horrible and the plot did not make sense. I found myself jumping long parragraphs until I would find some dialogue because I knew I wouldn't lose anything in between. It is not funny, even though MacAlister really tries, is boring and some jokes made me roll my eyes. Actuall, I found some jokes horrible like Joy talking about mother advice during sex. I just think bringing your mother up during sex is gross. My humble opinion. Roxy gave me a headache and to me is one of the most annoying characters I have ever read in my entire life. Joyful is a diva that suddenly, in the middle of a Gothfair, she is the object of desire of every man in sight. There are fights between guys over her, there are fights between girls over their men who are drooling over Joy and in the end she ends up wit Raphael. She ends up with a human! MacAlister wrote a vampire story only to leave the heroine paired up with a human. Even though the story seems to be the first fan fiction written by a 14 year old, a bad one, the sex scenes do not apply to that age. I think that the sex scenes were more developed than the characters and the plot. Seems that the plot was an excuse to write the sex scenes. So, I do not recomend this reading for young kids. Actually, I do not recomend this book to anyone but especially for kids. In the end this book gets a -2 in the scale 0-10. I wouldn't waste one dime on it and probably shouldn't you. I still think that maybe, just maybe, since it was MacAlister's first novel it is a really bad one and the next ones might just improve. I mean it is a series of 10 books. So, I might download the second book give it a shot through the first pages and if it seems to be the same thing as this one delete it and never, ever, go anywhere near this series.

  30. 5 out of 5

    Gaele

    AudioBook Review Stars: Overall 5 Narration 5 Story 5 I should preface this review by saying that I have been a fan of Katie MacAlister (and her alter-ego for YA/Teen Reads) Katie Maxwell for a long while now: my daughter and I would pass her books back and forth repeatedly and read them regularly. So it was particularly wonderful to have won this AudioBook copy. Significant parts of the story are told in the heroine, Joy’s, voice: smart, self-deprecating, funny and charmingly inept in relationshi AudioBook Review Stars: Overall 5 Narration 5 Story 5 I should preface this review by saying that I have been a fan of Katie MacAlister (and her alter-ego for YA/Teen Reads) Katie Maxwell for a long while now: my daughter and I would pass her books back and forth repeatedly and read them regularly. So it was particularly wonderful to have won this AudioBook copy. Significant parts of the story are told in the heroine, Joy’s, voice: smart, self-deprecating, funny and charmingly inept in relationships Joy and her best friend Roxy are off to the Frankfurt Book Fair, with a side trip to the Czech Republic to bask in and hunt down their favorite author, the reclusive CJ Dante, author of the Dark Ones series: full of alpha male vampires and the heroines who love them. From one moment to the next, this story is full of gentle teasing and outright laughs: Joy is marvellously snarky and Roxy is a bit of a Chihuahua: tiny, mouthy and full of energy. Roxy also completely and utterly believes in the existence of vampires, and feels, from her obsession with Dante’s books, to know all about them. Her list of “how to tell if someone is a vampire” is quite amusing, and completely understandable as a reader who wants to be transported by every story. Several interesting characters come under the scrutiny of Joy and Roxy: while Joy’s belief and patience for the poseur vampire Dominic is waning, her own beliefs are being tested as she is having visions and feeling ‘invaded’ by a distinctly vampiric male. There is also a traveling Goth Faire in town: and here Joy meets the man of her dreams in the form of Raphael: tall, dark, handsome and protective: he is the head of the security detail for the tour. So we have Roxy determined to find a vampire and meet the author, Joy curious about and enamored with Raphael, a ringmaster/magician with fake fangs and a slimy bent insisting on calling joy ‘mon ange’ as well as several different nationalities and skills from the workers of the faire, the story is loaded with plenty of side stories and moments of interest. When a particularly distasteful and nasty ‘witch’ from the fair is found dead, exsanguinated and with her throat torn apart the search for the killer is all encompassing. Narration is provided by Karen White who manages to slip in and out of voices and accents with near seamless precision: adding in a tone and breathing that emphasizes moments of exasperation, insecurity, tension, anger and even sexual frustration and satisfaction. The French accents are spot on, with a solidly Slavic intonation in the voices of Christophe and the police captain, and the smooth yet often frustrated and flummoxed British accent affixed to Raphael managed to convey him with panache. Never overreaching for male or female voices, all of the characters were clearly delineated and crisply delivered and added to the character visualizations. Yes, there is a romance, but it is done in a uniquely ‘MacAlister” way: euphemisms are heavily used to allude to actions and parts, to great effect, as the humor with which Joy (and the author) see the world and their place in it is quite apparent. There isn’t a great load of drama or tension or even a load of angsty heroes and heroines in this series: it’s fun: it pokes fun at the genre, the readers and the characters as it presents a new series with a wonderful story and plenty of characters to learn more about. MacAlister’s books are light and fun reads: perfect diversions after a long day or to while away a weekend. I received this AudioBook copy as a blog tour win. I was not compensated for this review: all conclusions are my own responsibility.

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