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Self to Lose, Self to Find: Using the Enneagram to Uncover Your True, God-Gifted Self

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Discover the growth that's possible when we understand our authentic selves as God intended by exploring more deeply the Enneagram tool, paired with profound scriptural insights. "This book is a gem. It's one of the top five books I recommend on the Enneagram."--Ian Morgan Cron, author of The Road Back to You "An accessible, biblical and practical roadmap for anyone who Discover the growth that's possible when we understand our authentic selves as God intended by exploring more deeply the Enneagram tool, paired with profound scriptural insights. "This book is a gem. It's one of the top five books I recommend on the Enneagram."--Ian Morgan Cron, author of The Road Back to You "An accessible, biblical and practical roadmap for anyone who wants to live fully into their true, authentic, God-given identity. I highly recommend it!"--Brenda Salter McNeil, author of Becoming Brave The Enneagram--a system of nine interconnected personality types--has been developed over many years to offer opportunities for personal development and provide a foundation for understanding others. Now a certified Enneagram coach shows how a scriptural perspective can lead us to a path of freedom. In Self to Lose, Self to Find, Marilyn Vancil unpacks our human dilemma, sets the scriptural foundation, explores the nine Enneagram personalities, and shows us practical ways to have a more meaningful life and healthier relationships. At its best, the Enneagram doesn't merely describe who we are, but shows us why we do what we do. It invites us to see the innate gifts and inclinations of our original design--the person we were before trials and traumas began to shape us. It also reveals the strategies and false narratives that keep us from becoming who we're truly meant to be. Vancil offers a compelling biblical case for the Enneagram by drawing from John 12:24, which describes how we, like seeds, construct a protective coat that helps us survive in a world where we encounter challenges and insecurities. But for us to truly live a fruitful life, we must allow the protective coat to soften and fall away in order to grow. This is what sets Vancil apart as both a seasoned Enneagram expert and a spiritual director: Within a scriptural context, she demonstrates how the Enneagram can be a vehicle for growth and transformation by laying out the realities of each Enneagram type, affirming the inherent genius of each type, showcasing the unhealthy tendencies of each type's false self, and illuminating the undeniable path to freedom for each one. Combining rich biblical wisdom with Enneagram wisdom and real-life experiences, this compelling resource is a must for anyone who longs for a happier, freer life.


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Discover the growth that's possible when we understand our authentic selves as God intended by exploring more deeply the Enneagram tool, paired with profound scriptural insights. "This book is a gem. It's one of the top five books I recommend on the Enneagram."--Ian Morgan Cron, author of The Road Back to You "An accessible, biblical and practical roadmap for anyone who Discover the growth that's possible when we understand our authentic selves as God intended by exploring more deeply the Enneagram tool, paired with profound scriptural insights. "This book is a gem. It's one of the top five books I recommend on the Enneagram."--Ian Morgan Cron, author of The Road Back to You "An accessible, biblical and practical roadmap for anyone who wants to live fully into their true, authentic, God-given identity. I highly recommend it!"--Brenda Salter McNeil, author of Becoming Brave The Enneagram--a system of nine interconnected personality types--has been developed over many years to offer opportunities for personal development and provide a foundation for understanding others. Now a certified Enneagram coach shows how a scriptural perspective can lead us to a path of freedom. In Self to Lose, Self to Find, Marilyn Vancil unpacks our human dilemma, sets the scriptural foundation, explores the nine Enneagram personalities, and shows us practical ways to have a more meaningful life and healthier relationships. At its best, the Enneagram doesn't merely describe who we are, but shows us why we do what we do. It invites us to see the innate gifts and inclinations of our original design--the person we were before trials and traumas began to shape us. It also reveals the strategies and false narratives that keep us from becoming who we're truly meant to be. Vancil offers a compelling biblical case for the Enneagram by drawing from John 12:24, which describes how we, like seeds, construct a protective coat that helps us survive in a world where we encounter challenges and insecurities. But for us to truly live a fruitful life, we must allow the protective coat to soften and fall away in order to grow. This is what sets Vancil apart as both a seasoned Enneagram expert and a spiritual director: Within a scriptural context, she demonstrates how the Enneagram can be a vehicle for growth and transformation by laying out the realities of each Enneagram type, affirming the inherent genius of each type, showcasing the unhealthy tendencies of each type's false self, and illuminating the undeniable path to freedom for each one. Combining rich biblical wisdom with Enneagram wisdom and real-life experiences, this compelling resource is a must for anyone who longs for a happier, freer life.

30 review for Self to Lose, Self to Find: Using the Enneagram to Uncover Your True, God-Gifted Self

  1. 4 out of 5

    Aimee Smith

    This was eye-opening and life changing for me.

  2. 5 out of 5

    Dan

    Well done, Marilyn Vancil. She’s approached the Enneagram with a fresh viewpoint within the framework of solid Christian discipleship, while also unpacking the beautiful contemplative potential to be found there.

  3. 5 out of 5

    Michelle

    I've noticed that books that end strong are remembered as good by most readers. Such is "Self to Lose." I thought the beginning dragged and was slightly annoying -- lots of musings and quotes and scripture. I love musings and quotes and scripture, it just seemed like an awful lot and not very tight. But then Vancil transitions into talking about the Enneagram and the book just soars. It's inspiring and enlightening as well as practical. Definitely worth the read. I've noticed that books that end strong are remembered as good by most readers. Such is "Self to Lose." I thought the beginning dragged and was slightly annoying -- lots of musings and quotes and scripture. I love musings and quotes and scripture, it just seemed like an awful lot and not very tight. But then Vancil transitions into talking about the Enneagram and the book just soars. It's inspiring and enlightening as well as practical. Definitely worth the read.

  4. 4 out of 5

    Lisa

    I personally find the Enneagram types to be one of the most useful personality descriptions I’ve used, and this is a quite interesting integration of Enneagram types with biblical concepts. I personally found a few of their type descriptions not quite as clear to me as ones I’ve read elsewhere, though, so I feel like this book shouldn’t really be a stand-alone but would be best along with other resources.

  5. 4 out of 5

    Holly

    If you want to learn about the Enneagram from a solid biblical foundation this is definitely a book to get. I really enjoyed how she brought out the good and the bad of each type with a heavy emphasis on God's ability to redeem the "eeewww" aspects of each type. If you want to learn about the Enneagram from a solid biblical foundation this is definitely a book to get. I really enjoyed how she brought out the good and the bad of each type with a heavy emphasis on God's ability to redeem the "eeewww" aspects of each type.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Libby Chapman

    As a spiritual director, people I meet with often ask me to recommend books on the Enneagram, and Marilyn’s is one of the best I have to offer. For Christians who don’t always see the Enneagram’s connection to biblical principals, Marilyn helps connect the insights of the Enneagram with the deep invitation to wholeness found in Jesus. A few things I love about this book: While many authors name the nine Enneagram types based on their false or adaptive self, Marilyn chooses to call out the specif As a spiritual director, people I meet with often ask me to recommend books on the Enneagram, and Marilyn’s is one of the best I have to offer. For Christians who don’t always see the Enneagram’s connection to biblical principals, Marilyn helps connect the insights of the Enneagram with the deep invitation to wholeness found in Jesus. A few things I love about this book: While many authors name the nine Enneagram types based on their false or adaptive self, Marilyn chooses to call out the specific way each type reflects God. For instance, the Type One, or what is usually called The Perfectionist, is called A Reflection of God’s Goodness and Righteousness. This helps us root in the hope and promise of being made in the image of God, even while the Enneagram invites us to examine the ways we are bound by our adaptive self. Marilyn also includes beautiful prayers written in the voice of each type and words of affirmation from God written specifically to each type. I have used these in spiritual direction sessions and found them to be powerful in helping people unlock what they most need to hear from and say to God. Finally, while many Enneagram books give you a lot to think about, Marilyn’s book goes beyond that in offering “OWN-UP”, a practical tool Marilyn created that invites reflection and helps you identify when and how your adaptive self is holding you back from freedom and peace. I highly recommend this book to those interested in a biblical foundation for the Enneagram, and especially those shepherding others towards healing and wholeness in Christ. *I received a free copy of the new edition from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.

  7. 4 out of 5

    Allison

    As the first book I've read on the Enneagram, I expect this is a helpful addition to the collection, approaching the types from a Christian framework. Some components of the framework presented may not fit perfectly in all Christian worldviews, but the ideas are worth at least consider and wrestling with. I don't think this can be the only book you read on the Enneagram (is there any such book? It seems a system that lends itself to never-ending contemplation and research.), but it worked as an i As the first book I've read on the Enneagram, I expect this is a helpful addition to the collection, approaching the types from a Christian framework. Some components of the framework presented may not fit perfectly in all Christian worldviews, but the ideas are worth at least consider and wrestling with. I don't think this can be the only book you read on the Enneagram (is there any such book? It seems a system that lends itself to never-ending contemplation and research.), but it worked as an introduction for me.

  8. 4 out of 5

    K.J. Ramsey

    “In a society strapped to self-sufficiency, it is rare to find Enneagram wisdom that is truly wise. Vancil brings together our being and our becoming, hidden not simply in the depths of our own selves but in the heart of Christ.” (That’s from my official endorsement, but I’m so thrilled Random House is re-releasing Marilyn’s beautiful book, that I had to share early.)

  9. 5 out of 5

    Terry Watson

    The best book yet on how to integrate the Enneagram and becoming more authentic with the teachings of the Bible

  10. 4 out of 5

    Johnnie

    How rich this book was. I started it over twice because it leaves you wanting more intimacy with Christ.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Amanda

    I suppose at some point I should wonder how many books on personality a person can (should?) read. But each one has different insights, and this book had some good ones about tying personality to spiritual growth. The author has a writing style that exudes wisdom, and some of the points she made I'm still pondering. She bases the book around the idea of having an adapted self vs. authentic self and unpacks some common misunderstandings around denying ourselves (disowning the old self instead of I suppose at some point I should wonder how many books on personality a person can (should?) read. But each one has different insights, and this book had some good ones about tying personality to spiritual growth. The author has a writing style that exudes wisdom, and some of the points she made I'm still pondering. She bases the book around the idea of having an adapted self vs. authentic self and unpacks some common misunderstandings around denying ourselves (disowning the old self instead of self-deprivation), sin ("missing the true goal and scope of life"), and following Jesus ("to accompany, to express union...") as relates to our unique personalities. She also suggests a framework for analyzing our "adapted self" which I could see being very helpful, especially for those who struggle with self-reflection. Surprisingly, the middle section of the books that covers the enneagram types, wings and such felt like the weakest part of the book. I didn't feel like her characterizations were that helpful and definitely think there are books that unpack the ins and outs of the enneagram much better. However, the beginning and end were well worth the read to me. One of the passages I'm chewing on: "[The] welcoming phase also involves welcoming God right into the midst of our experience. This is different from giving all our negative feelings over to God and hoping He does something with them. That type of so-called surrender can actually be a way of ignoring and escaping from our unpleasant inner experiences, rather than allowing God to be with us in them. For example, if I'm angry at someone and find myself wanting to hurt them, I can pray, 'God, take these feeling away from me.' Or I can pray, 'God, I'm feeling mad and want revenge. I invite you to be with me in these feeling.' It may seem like a subtle difference, but I've found the practice of welcoming God into the truth of my experience has been much more transformational than passing my feeling off to Him."

  12. 4 out of 5

    Blair

    This is a book that gets better as it goes. The descriptions of the types, the prayers, and the process of transformation clearly are Vancil's wheelhouse. I would imagine that this material has been worked by many years of wise practice with others. I will definitely use some of her practices in my own life. Saying that though, I find some of the foundational assumptions about the enneagram difficult to agree with. The language of "true" self emerging past a "false" self (or "authentic" through a This is a book that gets better as it goes. The descriptions of the types, the prayers, and the process of transformation clearly are Vancil's wheelhouse. I would imagine that this material has been worked by many years of wise practice with others. I will definitely use some of her practices in my own life. Saying that though, I find some of the foundational assumptions about the enneagram difficult to agree with. The language of "true" self emerging past a "false" self (or "authentic" through an "adaptive") is problematic for me on theological grounds. I'm still working out the details but I'm pretty sure that this theological anthropology can't get supported with much Christology. Ironically, Vancil quotes Karl Barth in ways that from my reading of him do not fit with his understanding of the self or his Christology. This foundation is not Vancil's fault since it seems to run through all enneagram literature. What is unfortunate, in my opinion, is that Vancil tries to connect the enneagram to strong theological roots, an impossible task from the outset. The wisdom literature tradition, which Vancil draws on a good deal, is likely a much firmer foundation than the imago dei and theological anthropology. She uses the "writings" Pslams, Proverbs, and a very interesting passage from James, to good effect. Wisdom, and in the end the enneagram, offers guidance and direction and ways to flourish in life. Is that not sufficient to merit use in Christian lives? Do we need to justify the enneagram further than it is wise? Because I do think that Vancil and her practice of helping others follow Jesus through the wisdom of the enneagram has something substantial to offer. No need to dress it up in theological language when that only distracts from what it really is - wisdom for understanding self and others in relation to God.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Panda Incognito

    Marilyn Vancil explains the Enneagram personality system in reference to Scripture, focusing on God’s commands for us to take off the old self and put on the new. She explains that when someone understands their type, they can leave behind their “adapted self” and discover who God intended them to be. Self to Lose, Self to Find: Using the Enneagram to Uncover Your True, God-Gifted Self is a great resource for Enneagram beginners, aficionados, and skeptics alike. Vancil explores the congruent rel Marilyn Vancil explains the Enneagram personality system in reference to Scripture, focusing on God’s commands for us to take off the old self and put on the new. She explains that when someone understands their type, they can leave behind their “adapted self” and discover who God intended them to be. Self to Lose, Self to Find: Using the Enneagram to Uncover Your True, God-Gifted Self is a great resource for Enneagram beginners, aficionados, and skeptics alike. Vancil explores the congruent relationship between the Enneagram and a Scriptural understanding of human nature, and shares guidance for how readers can grow by integrating this new self-understanding into their relationships and spiritual life. Vancil breaks down complex ideas into understandable forms, and because she builds on the Enneagram system gradually, instead of introducing all of the elements at once, she keeps the book from becoming overwhelming and confusing. She also avoids the common trap of sharing long, intimate stories about different people in her life. She gives the book a personal touch through her concrete illustrations of abstract ideas, but she never narrows her focus to particular type expressions that she has seen in herself or others. All of the descriptions are broadly applicable. This is a revised, updated edition of the author’s previous book. Since I have not read the other, I do not know how this compares or what is different about it, but I enjoyed it very much. I appreciate the author’s emphasis on personal growth, and about how the Enneagram can help people recognize and move away from the sinful and broken ways that they see the world and engage with others. This book encourages readers to grow into the positive traits that God has given them, and is a clear, positive, and encouraging guide. I received a temporary digital ARC from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

  14. 4 out of 5

    Michelle Kidwell

    Self to Lose, Self to Find: Using the Enneagram to Uncover Your True, God-Gifted Self, Revised and Updated By: Marilyn Vancil CONVERGENT BOOKS 2020 I am reviewing a copy of Self to Lose, Self to Find through Convergent Books and Netgalley: Is the Enneagram a new age symbol, or is it Biblical? What exactly does the Enneagram have to do with Jesus? Marilyn Vancil who has been studying the Enneagram and how it relates to Christianity for over three decades describes it this way: The Enneagram is an acc Self to Lose, Self to Find: Using the Enneagram to Uncover Your True, God-Gifted Self, Revised and Updated By: Marilyn Vancil CONVERGENT BOOKS 2020 I am reviewing a copy of Self to Lose, Self to Find through Convergent Books and Netgalley: Is the Enneagram a new age symbol, or is it Biblical? What exactly does the Enneagram have to do with Jesus? Marilyn Vancil who has been studying the Enneagram and how it relates to Christianity for over three decades describes it this way: The Enneagram is an accumulation of ancient spiritual teachings and current psychological research. Vancil goes on to describe our false self, or our self to loose as the one that needs to adapt, adjust, and accommodate to the world in which we live. It’s the self we eventually believe we must be in order to survive and have our basic needs met. Our Self to Find is described as our new self, our true self the one created to reflect God’s image in a unique way. It’s our deeper self that’s made to be in union with God. It’s the self that longs to emerge through the layers of our Adapted Self in order to experience and express our original design. Why is it we don’t live more freely as our true self, the one God created us to be? What is it that blocks our god like Characteristics from being shown in our everyday lives? Why is it that treasure of our true self is hidden so much of the time? Vancil points out that one reason is we are covered by our adapted self. I found Marilyn Vancil’s information and how it pertains to Christianity and our walk with Christ. I give Self to Loose, Self to Find five out of five stars! Happy Reading!

  15. 5 out of 5

    RaeAnne

    I have done a lot of inner work the last year and a half with the Enneagram. I had to step away for a while, because it all got to be too much and felt really overwhelming. But I was feeling a tugging to look deeper again and this book did not disappoint. I have found it to explain and give language for all the things I couldn't quite put my finger on and articulate. It also just has such a beautiful perspective on a handful of scriptures that I feel my religion growing up continually missed. Th I have done a lot of inner work the last year and a half with the Enneagram. I had to step away for a while, because it all got to be too much and felt really overwhelming. But I was feeling a tugging to look deeper again and this book did not disappoint. I have found it to explain and give language for all the things I couldn't quite put my finger on and articulate. It also just has such a beautiful perspective on a handful of scriptures that I feel my religion growing up continually missed. The way Vancil explains it just made sense to my spirit. It finally felt like that is what that really means! It brought new levels of freedom and energy to my spirit. I feel like this book is an invaluable resource and it will be one I reference back to many times over. I love that she gives us tools to take time with the examining process and that we can experience growth if we're willing to do the work. I highly recommend this book if you are interested in the Enneagram and you want to get at the true gift that this tool is to us. It is not a personality test to brag about your number. This is so far from the heart of the Enneagram. It's an uncomfortable process to examine all the ways you hide and cope and to be willing to examine them so you can grow and be set free. But if you will go into it willingly you will not be disappointed. Peace and freedom are waiting on the other side for you. I hope you will be brave and do the work. It is so worth it!!

  16. 4 out of 5

    Michelle

    Self to Lose, Self to Find is a Christian self-help book using the Enneagram to find your God-gifted self. The book is organized into five sections including Scriptural Foundation, Nine Personality Types, and Prayers For Each Type. The one the stuck out to me most was the section named Prayers For Each Type. I saw myself in one main personality type but in each prayer I saw a take-away that would benefit me. The thesis of this book is to experience freedom from the old self into the new free sel Self to Lose, Self to Find is a Christian self-help book using the Enneagram to find your God-gifted self. The book is organized into five sections including Scriptural Foundation, Nine Personality Types, and Prayers For Each Type. The one the stuck out to me most was the section named Prayers For Each Type. I saw myself in one main personality type but in each prayer I saw a take-away that would benefit me. The thesis of this book is to experience freedom from the old self into the new free self. I did not realize the Enneagram has been practiced for many years, it is relatively new to me. I had heard of the Enneagram before reading this book but I didn’t invest much time in it. I wondered if this was really a practice Christians could use. I believe the author Marilyn Vancil’s purpose in writing this book is to inform. Two crucial questions the author asks are: (1) How does it support my desire to follow Jesus? and (2) How does its knowledge line up with the teachings of the Bible? I recommend this book to readers interested in the Enneagram and personality types. Disclaimer: I receive complimentary books from various sources, including, publishers, publicists, authors, and/or NetGalley. I am not required to write a positive review and have not received any compensation. The opinions shared here are my own entirely. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255

  17. 4 out of 5

    Michelle

    Self to Lose, Self to Find is a Christian self-help book using the Enneagram to find your God-gifted self. The book is organized into five sections including Scriptural Foundation, Nine Personality Types, and Prayers For Each Type. The one the stuck out to me most was the section named Prayers For Each Type. I saw myself in one main personality type but in each prayer I saw a take-away that would benefit me. The thesis of this book is to experience freedom from the old self into the new free sel Self to Lose, Self to Find is a Christian self-help book using the Enneagram to find your God-gifted self. The book is organized into five sections including Scriptural Foundation, Nine Personality Types, and Prayers For Each Type. The one the stuck out to me most was the section named Prayers For Each Type. I saw myself in one main personality type but in each prayer I saw a take-away that would benefit me. The thesis of this book is to experience freedom from the old self into the new free self. I did not realize the Enneagram has been practiced for many years, it is relatively new to me. I had heard of the Enneagram before reading this book but I didn’t invest much time in it. I wondered if this was really a practice Christians could use. I believe the author Marilyn Vancil’s purpose in writing this book is to inform. Two crucial questions the author asks are: (1) How does it support my desire to follow Jesus? and (2) How does its knowledge line up with the teachings of the Bible? I recommend this book to readers interested in the Enneagram and personality types. Disclaimer: I receive complimentary books from various sources, including, publishers, publicists, authors, and/or NetGalley. I am not required to write a positive review and have not received any compensation. The opinions shared here are my own entirely. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255

  18. 5 out of 5

    Betsy

    As a person who majored in Elementary Education and Child Family Studies, I have always been interested in personalities and the psychology of behavior. It was a natural for me to pick up one more tool for understanding the human psyche. Marilyn‘s book "Self to Lose-Self to Find" was perfect for me, in that I could use it to focus in on individual strengths and weaknesses of the personality with the added help of a Biblical Application. "Self to Lose-Self to Find" goes further to explore the pot As a person who majored in Elementary Education and Child Family Studies, I have always been interested in personalities and the psychology of behavior. It was a natural for me to pick up one more tool for understanding the human psyche. Marilyn‘s book "Self to Lose-Self to Find" was perfect for me, in that I could use it to focus in on individual strengths and weaknesses of the personality with the added help of a Biblical Application. "Self to Lose-Self to Find" goes further to explore the potential of a “redeemed self”, and helps me to better understand myself and others through a lens of redemption. In other words, we know better how to deal with the weaknesses and strengths and where to focus our energy in a positive way, to encourage others and ourselves in the strengths of our God-given nature. I enthusiastically recommended Marilyn's book to many friends just after her first edition was released, and even invited Marilyn to teach the 9 Enneagram types in a workshop setting for all who were interested. It was very well received. Recently, my daughter requested that for her 40th birthday retreat- those of us coming would review our types in Marilyn’s book and have a discussion. We used that time to validate one another in our own types and it was a very moving time for us all. I highly recommend this book. ~Betsy

  19. 5 out of 5

    Angela

    This book has such depth I will be rereading and processing for years to come. Which is a great thing, because it's so important to continue learning and growing as the author helps teach in this book. The author teaches how the nine Enneagram types not only interact with each other, but with God. It brings an understanding about personality in ways that is very sensible and obviously well researched. The author explains each type and helps you to figure out which type you are. And helps in such This book has such depth I will be rereading and processing for years to come. Which is a great thing, because it's so important to continue learning and growing as the author helps teach in this book. The author teaches how the nine Enneagram types not only interact with each other, but with God. It brings an understanding about personality in ways that is very sensible and obviously well researched. The author explains each type and helps you to figure out which type you are. And helps in such a spiritual way I think everyone needs to read this to understand humans in general. I love that the book also has prayers for each type, and ways to handle our emotions and personalities and to continually grow and self-evaluate. I also love how well she describes scripture and how it matters to our enlightenment. This book is one of the best I've read in a while on improving and understanding our self and our relationship with God. I've always been interested in personality types, and this book was so insightful and full of depth, without being boring. Very interesting writing. Thanks to the author, publisher, and Netgalley for allowing me to read and review.

  20. 4 out of 5

    Casey | Essentially Novel

    “𝘐’𝘮 𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘢 𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘢 𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘫𝘶𝘥𝘨𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘵.” I liked the approach to this one. Marilyn comes at the Enneagram from the perspective that it can help us identify our true self and as believers, this helps us better understand not only who God made us but Who He is; how we reflect His image. She starts off addressing how we initially put on our man-made self, a persona, but through salvation, we come to discover our true self, one that is “𝘐’𝘮 𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘢 𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘢 𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘫𝘶𝘥𝘨𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘵.” I liked the approach to this one. Marilyn comes at the Enneagram from the perspective that it can help us identify our true self and as believers, this helps us better understand not only who God made us but Who He is; how we reflect His image. She starts off addressing how we initially put on our man-made self, a persona, but through salvation, we come to discover our true self, one that is truly free. Then she goes into explaining the Enneagram. It’s nothing too in-depth, but it’s a pretty good introduction, and she shares quotes from those who identify with the different types and how they transitioned into the healthy and best version of themselves. One thing I really liked is that she talks some about sub-types (self-preservation, social, one-on-one/sexual) which I have not seen mentioned in any of the other Enneagram books I’ve read yet. I appreciated that she too likens the types to colors; for example, there are millions of shades of blues but they all still classify as blue. My dad and I are both 5s, and although we share so many commonalities, we are still very different. (This is why I like the Enneagram - it’s more layered and less boxy than other personality tools) I know many use the Enneagram as simply a personality tool and there are others who take it a step further, delving into what it can mean for those who are religious and live out faith, and I do believe it’s useful as both! But, if you fall into the latter category, this one is more for you.

  21. 5 out of 5

    Denise

    If you are a Christ follower and at all interested in the Enneagram, start (or continue) here. More than simply a Christian perspective on the Enneagram, this is an exhortation to follow Christ and the explanation of a tool to help you on the way. Although the actual chapters on the framework are short, they are full of information and surrounded by incredible application steps. I have been reading and learning about the Enneagram for about two years, and God has shown me some deep truths about If you are a Christ follower and at all interested in the Enneagram, start (or continue) here. More than simply a Christian perspective on the Enneagram, this is an exhortation to follow Christ and the explanation of a tool to help you on the way. Although the actual chapters on the framework are short, they are full of information and surrounded by incredible application steps. I have been reading and learning about the Enneagram for about two years, and God has shown me some deep truths about myself through this way of looking at the world. Lately, I was beginning to feel confused with it and wondering if it was taking over my life in negative ways. This book brought me back to why it’s worth continued exploration: so I can be more Christlike and more the self He made. Particularly valuable is the OWN UP application piece at the end. I will be using this and even modifying it to talk through some things with my eight year old. Thank you, Marilyn, for sharing your wisdom.

  22. 4 out of 5

    Suzanne Dion

    The writing style of this book is so inviting, so captivating, so rhythmic and so flowing! I had literally devoured this book in a matter of days once receiving it. The concepts and ideas shared are so clarifying, illuminating, and the practices shared are directly applicable. The author uses her own personal growth struggles and coming-forth awarenesses as examples of how to apply the self-development steps included. This I found incredibly helpful — what a great way to show us how to apply the The writing style of this book is so inviting, so captivating, so rhythmic and so flowing! I had literally devoured this book in a matter of days once receiving it. The concepts and ideas shared are so clarifying, illuminating, and the practices shared are directly applicable. The author uses her own personal growth struggles and coming-forth awarenesses as examples of how to apply the self-development steps included. This I found incredibly helpful — what a great way to show us how to apply the processes shared, on ourselves. The Enneagram types are thoughtfully (and spiritually) explained, with a clear delineation made between each type's authentic self and its adapted self. This cleverly provides us with an incisive way to identify two distinctive parts of ourselves, by type, and what to pursue as far as our own development. I highly recommend this book to all who want to know themselves and want to learn the Enneagram.

  23. 5 out of 5

    Rashida

    This is my new favorite Enneagram book when it comes to the descriptiveness of types and what it looks like for the types on the path towards growth and transformation. I especially love Ms Vanceil's inference of our "adapted selves" as opposed to our shadows selves. Through this lense we're able to see that how we present is a result of being born into a fallen world and that while we are sinners and have sinned, we've also been sinned against in ways that have contributed to the alteration of This is my new favorite Enneagram book when it comes to the descriptiveness of types and what it looks like for the types on the path towards growth and transformation. I especially love Ms Vanceil's inference of our "adapted selves" as opposed to our shadows selves. Through this lense we're able to see that how we present is a result of being born into a fallen world and that while we are sinners and have sinned, we've also been sinned against in ways that have contributed to the alteration of our original design. A great bonus are the redeemed qualities and unredeemed characteristics that follow each type. It's very helpful especially if you're a fan of the daily examen, it aids in giving context and language to how some days while we may be blindsided by our thoughts, actions and shortcomings God never is. And that we can ask Him to redeem those unfruitful characteristics in our lives. I'm looking forward to using this book with clients and in small group.

  24. 5 out of 5

    Lynnae

    Very informative! The first 4 chapters are bogged down with information on why she wrote the book and the labels she uses as adapted self and authentic self. It also has a very overly religious tone. Once you get past the lengthy emotional explanation it finally gets into the nuts and bolts of the topic. It is well written and easy to follow along. I enjoyed not only learning about my type but also viewing it through the lenses of how God created me to be within my personality type. She closes o Very informative! The first 4 chapters are bogged down with information on why she wrote the book and the labels she uses as adapted self and authentic self. It also has a very overly religious tone. Once you get past the lengthy emotional explanation it finally gets into the nuts and bolts of the topic. It is well written and easy to follow along. I enjoyed not only learning about my type but also viewing it through the lenses of how God created me to be within my personality type. She closes out the book with prayers to help you walk in the fullness of who God created you to be by your type. There is a section that helps you analyze your behavior/reactions and to eventually release it to God and walk in freedom. For those who aren’t adept at self analyzing this is a good starting point on learning how to.

  25. 5 out of 5

    Erika

    Marilyn Vancil's book Self to Lose, Self to Find, was my first introduction to the Enneagram. I had the privilege of not only reading the book but also planning a church women's retreat with Marilyn speaking about the Enneagram and her book. This was a wonderful start into a three plus year journey to discover more about the Enneagram in my own life, the lives of my family, and many others that I serve and work with. Other Enneagram teachers dive deeper into subtypes and characteristics, however Marilyn Vancil's book Self to Lose, Self to Find, was my first introduction to the Enneagram. I had the privilege of not only reading the book but also planning a church women's retreat with Marilyn speaking about the Enneagram and her book. This was a wonderful start into a three plus year journey to discover more about the Enneagram in my own life, the lives of my family, and many others that I serve and work with. Other Enneagram teachers dive deeper into subtypes and characteristics, however, I believe that Marilyn's book is one of the best books you could start with to explore this interesting and vast area of personality exploration and growth. I have finally convinced my husband to learn more about the Enneagram and he has started reading Marilyn's book now. If you are curious about the Enneagram, I urge you to try out this book!

  26. 5 out of 5

    Aaron Ventura

    Some helpful wisdom here and there, but Vancil omits some of the most crucial doctrinal points of Christian sanctification and growth in holiness, namely seeing sin and defining it in light of God's glory, and the need to mortify remaining sin. There is some theological redefinition and slight of hand that feel very eisegetical as opposed to bringing the full weight of Scripture to bear on the Enneagram typology. I expected more from a Christian author and was disappointed. Some turns-of-phrase Some helpful wisdom here and there, but Vancil omits some of the most crucial doctrinal points of Christian sanctification and growth in holiness, namely seeing sin and defining it in light of God's glory, and the need to mortify remaining sin. There is some theological redefinition and slight of hand that feel very eisegetical as opposed to bringing the full weight of Scripture to bear on the Enneagram typology. I expected more from a Christian author and was disappointed. Some turns-of-phrase make me wonder if Vancil is a universalist. I would recommend Ian Cron's book above this one since it does not attempt to give a "Biblical Appoach." Authors should not try to do something like this halfway.

  27. 5 out of 5

    Sarah McGinnis

    This is a great "next steps" book for people who have discovered their dominant type and want to actually start doing their "work". This book works from a Christian perspective and helps you view your Enneagram work through a lens of "dying to self" and "rising with Christ". Some Biblical approaches to the Enneagram end up cheesy and a little off the mark, kind of like the author was trying too hard to fit the Enneagram into a Christian worldview. Vancil does an amazing job of showing how the En This is a great "next steps" book for people who have discovered their dominant type and want to actually start doing their "work". This book works from a Christian perspective and helps you view your Enneagram work through a lens of "dying to self" and "rising with Christ". Some Biblical approaches to the Enneagram end up cheesy and a little off the mark, kind of like the author was trying too hard to fit the Enneagram into a Christian worldview. Vancil does an amazing job of showing how the Enneagram wisdom does indeed compliment the teachings of Jesus--I was impressed with her ability to seamlessly stitch the two together. Highly recommend! I loved it. It's a book I will go back to in the future.

  28. 4 out of 5

    Gayle Harris

    A. few years ago I read Ian Morgan Cron’s book On Enneagrams called The Road Back To You. In his book, he offers both secular and non secular skills and ways to improve on your inherit enneagrams. He gives us encouragement to accept, to change and improve on who we are. In Marilyn Vancil’s book Self to Lose, Self to Find, I found that it too had a similar approach although with a stronger and deeper message for Christians. In these days, we need all the encouragement that we can get to remember A. few years ago I read Ian Morgan Cron’s book On Enneagrams called The Road Back To You. In his book, he offers both secular and non secular skills and ways to improve on your inherit enneagrams. He gives us encouragement to accept, to change and improve on who we are. In Marilyn Vancil’s book Self to Lose, Self to Find, I found that it too had a similar approach although with a stronger and deeper message for Christians. In these days, we need all the encouragement that we can get to remember to be the people that God wants us to be. I strongly recommend this book to others that want to know more about themselves and receive God’s encouragement to grow.

  29. 5 out of 5

    JJ Vancil

    Full disclosure: the author is my mom, so any review I give should be understood through that filter. However, when it comes to the Enneagram, this book packs a punch. It is about the Enneagram, but goes way beyond the personality test approach. It digs deep to the heart of who we are and invites us to discover our Authentic Self. The theology of this book resonates deeply with my soul and challenged me to “deny myself, take up my cross, and follow” Jesus. I recommend this book to anyone wanting Full disclosure: the author is my mom, so any review I give should be understood through that filter. However, when it comes to the Enneagram, this book packs a punch. It is about the Enneagram, but goes way beyond the personality test approach. It digs deep to the heart of who we are and invites us to discover our Authentic Self. The theology of this book resonates deeply with my soul and challenged me to “deny myself, take up my cross, and follow” Jesus. I recommend this book to anyone wanting to see the Enneagram through a Christ-centered lens.

  30. 5 out of 5

    Keli D

    There are hundreds of books describing the workings of the Enneagram, but none of them link in Biblical truth or offer specific prayers the way this one does! Marilyn Vancil giftedly weaves self-awareness and spirituality together for transformational application! I found deep insight in understanding the difference between my adapted self and my authentic self. Too many people learn about the Enneagram simply to be assigned a number, but with Self to Lose, Self to Find, a clear path to freedom There are hundreds of books describing the workings of the Enneagram, but none of them link in Biblical truth or offer specific prayers the way this one does! Marilyn Vancil giftedly weaves self-awareness and spirituality together for transformational application! I found deep insight in understanding the difference between my adapted self and my authentic self. Too many people learn about the Enneagram simply to be assigned a number, but with Self to Lose, Self to Find, a clear path to freedom awaits in these pages!

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