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It's Okay to be Pissed: What Grief Makes You Think About.

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What does a father do when his son dies and the results of a visit with a grief therapist fail to soothe his grief? He writes his thoughts and gathers ‘words’ from others. Here, the author shares the many thoughts he had during the first three years of his grief stricken life. Kept first only as bullet points he wondered if anyone would find his words comforting by knowi What does a father do when his son dies and the results of a visit with a grief therapist fail to soothe his grief? He writes his thoughts and gathers ‘words’ from others. Here, the author shares the many thoughts he had during the first three years of his grief stricken life. Kept first only as bullet points he wondered if anyone would find his words comforting by knowing the thoughts they are having are not theirs alone, but shared by others who have lost a child or sibling.


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What does a father do when his son dies and the results of a visit with a grief therapist fail to soothe his grief? He writes his thoughts and gathers ‘words’ from others. Here, the author shares the many thoughts he had during the first three years of his grief stricken life. Kept first only as bullet points he wondered if anyone would find his words comforting by knowi What does a father do when his son dies and the results of a visit with a grief therapist fail to soothe his grief? He writes his thoughts and gathers ‘words’ from others. Here, the author shares the many thoughts he had during the first three years of his grief stricken life. Kept first only as bullet points he wondered if anyone would find his words comforting by knowing the thoughts they are having are not theirs alone, but shared by others who have lost a child or sibling.

19 review for It's Okay to be Pissed: What Grief Makes You Think About.

  1. 5 out of 5

    Chris

    Doug is one of my former bosses, and remains a friend even though we’ve both moved on to other jobs. Three years before writing this book, Doug and his family suffered the unimaginable agony of the death of their son, Steve, who was 23 years old. In the brief introduction, Doug notes that he tried grief counseling and grief support groups, and felt they only made his pain worse. His only way of healing was to find his own way within it, this new, fathomless land of pain and sorrow to which he’d Doug is one of my former bosses, and remains a friend even though we’ve both moved on to other jobs. Three years before writing this book, Doug and his family suffered the unimaginable agony of the death of their son, Steve, who was 23 years old. In the brief introduction, Doug notes that he tried grief counseling and grief support groups, and felt they only made his pain worse. His only way of healing was to find his own way within it, this new, fathomless land of pain and sorrow to which he’d be exiled for the rest of his life. It’s OK to Be Pissed! is frank and unsparing about the rawest emotions one can feel, the knowledge that it will never go away, and will likely resonate for others who have been forced by the world to endure the unendurable. For those of us who are not there yet, Doug congratulates us, while also saying that he was that person once, too. It’s hard to know what to say to someone when you hear that they’re in the throes of grief. What will help? Will anything help. According to Doug, knowing that you’re trying to help is all the help you can provide. He punctures the endless, hair-trigger nostrums thrown at facebook threads or sympathy registries, such old saws as “it’ll get better,” or “everything happens for a reason.” Doug notes that the only thing that’s really given any relief was saying “I’ll keep you and Steve in my thoughts.” For a book aimed at providing relief to the stricken, it’s also sympathetic and thoughtful for those of us that want to help but get tongue-tied trying not even to make the pain to go away, but at least not to make things worse. It’s hard to imagine wanting to read a book like this if you’re not in the midst of this type of grief, but I really encourage you to do so. If you haven’t endured this type of pain in your life – the death of a close relative, a spouse or romantic partner, someone who is intertwined with your heart – there’s a near-certain chance that you will eventually. This slim book, to smudge a famous song lyric, sees the pain from all sides now, and even if you’re not in the epicenter now, you’ve probably seen it up close and wanted to know how to help. Death is a given in the world, and unfortunately, unexpected and tragic death is more common than not. No one is guaranteed a quiet, gentle death in their sleep in their 80s, though we all seem to assume that’s where it’s going. Read this to share Doug’s burden, read it to prepare for a burden you don’t yet know is coming, or read it because some of your family, friends and loved ones are aching right now, and you’ve been waiting too long to comment with just the right words to say. Be aware that there are no right words, but the wrong words and actions can be avoided. And yet, the pain will continue. I’m sorry, Doug, and thank you.

  2. 4 out of 5

    Steve Kluge

  3. 4 out of 5

    John & Rozanne Porter

  4. 4 out of 5

    paula

  5. 4 out of 5

    Linda Maher

  6. 4 out of 5

    Cindy

  7. 4 out of 5

    Chris

  8. 5 out of 5

    Wayne

  9. 5 out of 5

    Susan Loffredo

  10. 5 out of 5

    Peter Karlen

  11. 5 out of 5

    Wendi M. Tandlich

  12. 4 out of 5

    jessica winters

  13. 5 out of 5

    Nancy

  14. 4 out of 5

    Daniel B.

  15. 4 out of 5

    Melissa Conner

  16. 4 out of 5

    Susan Horan

  17. 4 out of 5

    Anne Laure PAGUIDAS

  18. 5 out of 5

    Becky

  19. 5 out of 5

    Andrea Wertheimer

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