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The Science of Self Talk: How to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence and Stop Getting in Your Own Way (Positive Psychology Coaching Series Book 18)

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Talking to ourselves - and learning to listen We all speak to ourselves on a daily basis. Whether it’s out loud or an internal (or infernal) commentary, we all practice self-talk and, how we speak to ourselves can have a significant effect on our emotions and subsequent actions. Some people’s self-talk is mostly about the future while, for others, it’s an internal dial Talking to ourselves - and learning to listen We all speak to ourselves on a daily basis. Whether it’s out loud or an internal (or infernal) commentary, we all practice self-talk and, how we speak to ourselves can have a significant effect on our emotions and subsequent actions. Some people’s self-talk is mostly about the future while, for others, it’s an internal dialogue about the past. Some self-talk is positive and upbeat, while other self-talk is harsh, critical or defeatist. Self-talk can focus on other people but, more often than not, it is about ourselves - and is often negative. If you listen carefully, you’ll notice that your inner conversation reflects thoughts and emotions. Self-talk isn’t random. It exhibits patterns that repeat themselves. And everyone has their own characteristic self-talk that is uniquely theirs. In The Science Of Self-Talk mindfulness expert, Ian Tuhovsky, explains how we can re-write the script when it comes to our internal communication. Through a series of simple exercises for use in daily life, you can understand your own self-talk in order to change the conversation. Learn how you can listen to and understand your internal dialogue in order to change it. Many of us practice negative self-talk by default - how many times have you called yourself an idiot or chastised yourself for not being good enough? Negative self-talk is a harmful habit which can lead to anxiety, depression and helplessness and, yet, this is something that most of us do on a regular basis. For many people, this is learned behaviour whereby caution against boasting leads to self-criticism or self deprecation. For others, this is a natural reflection of the self and one that can slowly corrode self esteem. This unique book covers: ● Constructive self-talk and dysfunctional self-talk - and knowing the difference. ● The impact of negative self-talk ● Learned helplessness ● Positive self-talk - challenge or threat? ● The Pareto Principle which says that, for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes. ● Creating the right circumstances for motivation ● Getting to know yourself ● Loving yourself - emotional intelligence ● Turning down the volume on your self-talk In the past, people who engaged in negative self-talk or self-criticism were often labelled ‘perfectionists’, insinuating that it’s actually a positive thing but it’s so much more damaging than that. Learning to identify our negative self-talk behaviour is the first step toward freeing us from its grip. With the right tools, we can change our internal dialogue, opening ourselves up to new opportunities, increased self-esteem and confidence. More than just a self-help manual, The Science of Self-Talk is a Positive Psychology Coaching Series which explains the roots of self-talk, or, intrapersonal communication. The book explains that these are the thoughts that we ‘hear’ with the auditory part of our brain and which add a kind of commentary to our daily life. Self talk is a little like turning on the director’s commentary on a movie. You can simply watch the movie or you can add in commentary about what’s happening in it - this is, in a nutshell, what most of us do in our daily lives. The Science Of Self Talk can help you to re-write the script of your movie and improve the way that you - and others - see yourself.


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Talking to ourselves - and learning to listen We all speak to ourselves on a daily basis. Whether it’s out loud or an internal (or infernal) commentary, we all practice self-talk and, how we speak to ourselves can have a significant effect on our emotions and subsequent actions. Some people’s self-talk is mostly about the future while, for others, it’s an internal dial Talking to ourselves - and learning to listen We all speak to ourselves on a daily basis. Whether it’s out loud or an internal (or infernal) commentary, we all practice self-talk and, how we speak to ourselves can have a significant effect on our emotions and subsequent actions. Some people’s self-talk is mostly about the future while, for others, it’s an internal dialogue about the past. Some self-talk is positive and upbeat, while other self-talk is harsh, critical or defeatist. Self-talk can focus on other people but, more often than not, it is about ourselves - and is often negative. If you listen carefully, you’ll notice that your inner conversation reflects thoughts and emotions. Self-talk isn’t random. It exhibits patterns that repeat themselves. And everyone has their own characteristic self-talk that is uniquely theirs. In The Science Of Self-Talk mindfulness expert, Ian Tuhovsky, explains how we can re-write the script when it comes to our internal communication. Through a series of simple exercises for use in daily life, you can understand your own self-talk in order to change the conversation. Learn how you can listen to and understand your internal dialogue in order to change it. Many of us practice negative self-talk by default - how many times have you called yourself an idiot or chastised yourself for not being good enough? Negative self-talk is a harmful habit which can lead to anxiety, depression and helplessness and, yet, this is something that most of us do on a regular basis. For many people, this is learned behaviour whereby caution against boasting leads to self-criticism or self deprecation. For others, this is a natural reflection of the self and one that can slowly corrode self esteem. This unique book covers: ● Constructive self-talk and dysfunctional self-talk - and knowing the difference. ● The impact of negative self-talk ● Learned helplessness ● Positive self-talk - challenge or threat? ● The Pareto Principle which says that, for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes. ● Creating the right circumstances for motivation ● Getting to know yourself ● Loving yourself - emotional intelligence ● Turning down the volume on your self-talk In the past, people who engaged in negative self-talk or self-criticism were often labelled ‘perfectionists’, insinuating that it’s actually a positive thing but it’s so much more damaging than that. Learning to identify our negative self-talk behaviour is the first step toward freeing us from its grip. With the right tools, we can change our internal dialogue, opening ourselves up to new opportunities, increased self-esteem and confidence. More than just a self-help manual, The Science of Self-Talk is a Positive Psychology Coaching Series which explains the roots of self-talk, or, intrapersonal communication. The book explains that these are the thoughts that we ‘hear’ with the auditory part of our brain and which add a kind of commentary to our daily life. Self talk is a little like turning on the director’s commentary on a movie. You can simply watch the movie or you can add in commentary about what’s happening in it - this is, in a nutshell, what most of us do in our daily lives. The Science Of Self Talk can help you to re-write the script of your movie and improve the way that you - and others - see yourself.

30 review for The Science of Self Talk: How to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence and Stop Getting in Your Own Way (Positive Psychology Coaching Series Book 18)

  1. 4 out of 5

    Bookish Devil

    Not a proper review*: *This is for my own reference. But you're welcome to skim through it. 1. He lays so much emphasis on the importance of self-talk. Asks us to indulge in Constructive self-talk and avoid Destructive self-talk. 2. Encourages us to have a proper mindset devoid of pessimistic thoughts. 3. Positive self-talk shouldn't go to the extent of self-deception where we tend to lie and fool ourselves about our ability/situation. 4. Five big personality traits: OCEAN - Openness, Conscient Not a proper review*: *This is for my own reference. But you're welcome to skim through it. 1. He lays so much emphasis on the importance of self-talk. Asks us to indulge in Constructive self-talk and avoid Destructive self-talk. 2. Encourages us to have a proper mindset devoid of pessimistic thoughts. 3. Positive self-talk shouldn't go to the extent of self-deception where we tend to lie and fool ourselves about our ability/situation. 4. Five big personality traits: OCEAN - Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and neuroticism. Personality tests allow us to know more about ourselves and it makes us easier for us to identify the areas where we need to work on. 5. Fav Quote: "Talk to yourself the way you'd talk to someone you love" My take: No one can bail us out of our problem. We have to do whatever it takes to bring us out of our misery. By introspecting our actions and decisions, we get a clear idea of 'how' and 'where' it went wrong. We often rely on external help/assistance to solve our problems but little do we realize that we already have the toolkit within ourselves. We are our own coach. Little patience and a positive mindset go a long way in life.

  2. 5 out of 5

    Anil Swarup

    It all boils down to what you can do to yourself as you have no control over others. This book is all about how one can increase ones emotional intelligence quotient and the author suggests some practical exercises.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Amy

    I found this book to be short and very helpful tool in redirecting my perspective to healthier mental observations. Putting into practice these simple exercises is helping me distance myself from emotions I’d needed to lighten up with, and in overcoming some self talk habits I hadn’t noticed I’d picked up quite so habitually. Thanks Ian for the advice and exercises. Definitely tools for self betterment worth having.

  4. 4 out of 5

    Pungidasa Pungidasa

    Loved reading this one The thoughts are clear and presented such that any body can read and understand... It is a perfect book to pick if you want to try to work on your self !

  5. 4 out of 5

    Stacey

    I enjoyed this book. I think as a society we need to improve our self talk and encourage others to improve their own self talk (especially teens and children). I read a lot of self help but this is a topic that is normally mentioned in passing, this book gave a lot of good insight and a lot of ideas that you can try. I would recommend this book and I plan to revisit it in the future. I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Grady

    ‘Working on self-talk could become an exercise in navel gazing.’ Author Ian Tuhovsky earned his BA in Sociology and works as an HR consultant for many varied European companies. In addition to recuperating from his personal experiences of low esteem and shyness as a child and teenager he has grown and matured to the point of sharing his experiences as an author of ten books that give evidence of his interest in studying the human mind and the society and offering keys to recovery and to finding h ‘Working on self-talk could become an exercise in navel gazing.’ Author Ian Tuhovsky earned his BA in Sociology and works as an HR consultant for many varied European companies. In addition to recuperating from his personal experiences of low esteem and shyness as a child and teenager he has grown and matured to the point of sharing his experiences as an author of ten books that give evidence of his interest in studying the human mind and the society and offering keys to recovery and to finding happiness and success. He also is a musician and composer. Ian opens his book with the same approach that has made him popular among readers who are looking to expand their horizons in all aspects of improving their mental and spiritual health – with a dollop of light humor that makes him immediately accessible: Have you ever paid attention to your inner speech? You know, that running conversation that seems to go on interminably in your head. The one that’s in the background, thinking your thoughts, or rather “speaking” them to you in an internal, or is it infernal, commentary? Or did you just kind of ignore it, never really thinking much about it? But I bet you’re thinking about it, now that I’ve mentioned it. And even if you’re thinking, “I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” stop and listen to your thoughts for a second. Chances are, you’re thinking in a voice with speech. That’s what I’m talking about. What causes us to talk to ourselves silently or out loud? How does self-talk affect our emotions and actions? "How can we become more aware of what we're saying to ourselves? These are interesting questions and we’ll get to them, but, by far, the most useful question we can ask is: Can we talk to ourselves differently? Can we flip the script and rewrite the way we communicate with ourselves? The answer is, yes, we can.’ Ian leads us through this path to self talk in the following divisions: What Is Self-Talk?, Constructive Self-Talk, Impact of Negative Self-Talk, Learned Helplessness, Positive Self-Talk, Challenge or Threat?, Self-Leadership, Self-Deception and False Positivity, Examples of Self-Talk, Pareto: The 80/20 Rule, Creating the Right Circumstances for Motivation, The Self, Loving Yourself, Emotional Intelligence, Present and Future Selves, Getting to Know Yourself, Swimming in the OCEAN, Who’s Talking?, What’s in a Pronoun?, and Turning down the volume. Each section involves exercises to reinforce the learning process discussed. Solid information well written, this book will likely become one to repeatedly read to fully understand. Take your time – it may be a new concept for you but one that deserves close attention. Highly recommended.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Suzan

    Wow this should be listened to by everyone. This book is all about changing the way you talk to yourself. Now you might say I never talk to myself but you would be wrong. You may not even be aware of it and most likely it is a negative voice. I live in a world with many family and friends being more negative than positive with me. So the last thing I need is to be negative with myself too. I found this book to be very easy to listen to and ably. Do you know a teenager? Get them this book someday Wow this should be listened to by everyone. This book is all about changing the way you talk to yourself. Now you might say I never talk to myself but you would be wrong. You may not even be aware of it and most likely it is a negative voice. I live in a world with many family and friends being more negative than positive with me. So the last thing I need is to be negative with myself too. I found this book to be very easy to listen to and ably. Do you know a teenager? Get them this book someday they will thank you. Randy Streu is the narrator for this audiobook and his voice is perfect for this audiobook, easy to listen to and follow. I was gifted this book with the understanding that I would leave an honest review.

  8. 5 out of 5

    Karthik

    Very attractive headline This books helps to know we human beings are having a multiple characters inside us which most of the people don't know. The author explains in a very well manner about Positive & Negative Self talk, & how one can improvise their Positive was throughout their life by adopting Positive Self talk in their life. It's necessary for the creature like us, nowadays who are in this fast running world with least caring behaviours for our health & family. So, Thanks to the author Very attractive headline This books helps to know we human beings are having a multiple characters inside us which most of the people don't know. The author explains in a very well manner about Positive & Negative Self talk, & how one can improvise their Positive was throughout their life by adopting Positive Self talk in their life. It's necessary for the creature like us, nowadays who are in this fast running world with least caring behaviours for our health & family. So, Thanks to the author for giving this book....

  9. 5 out of 5

    Lynn Zagrod

    I received this audiobook free for an honest review. This is a great book to get you out of a rut with negative thinking. Not just the negativity around you, but the negativity inside you. Self worth is important to a person's well being. This book helps you to identify and change your inner speach. Great to help you change not only the view of your inner self, but that which you show others. I received this audiobook free for an honest review. This is a great book to get you out of a rut with negative thinking. Not just the negativity around you, but the negativity inside you. Self worth is important to a person's well being. This book helps you to identify and change your inner speach. Great to help you change not only the view of your inner self, but that which you show others.

  10. 4 out of 5

    Raj Shekhar

    Brilliant book Dealing with the inner monologue can be tough for a novice. But this book offers practical ttps. The most important tl;dr takeaways would be - always talk to yourself as if you're someone you love, and two, to be aware of what "cognitive distortions" are and to correct them as and when they happen. Brilliant book Dealing with the inner monologue can be tough for a novice. But this book offers practical ttps. The most important tl;dr takeaways would be - always talk to yourself as if you're someone you love, and two, to be aware of what "cognitive distortions" are and to correct them as and when they happen.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Shetty1

    Really loved the book The things I always thought but never myself put them on the table maybe because I wasn't ready to accept them or face them so always refrained but reading the book am glad how you have made them easier for me and built my self confidence. Thanks Really loved the book The things I always thought but never myself put them on the table maybe because I wasn't ready to accept them or face them so always refrained but reading the book am glad how you have made them easier for me and built my self confidence. Thanks

  12. 5 out of 5

    Jake Pimental

    Love this writing style mixed with interesting facts and a simplistic direct style Great book mixes thoughts about the no self ideology with how to actually train your mind about situations. Already putting some techniques into practice.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Vikrama Dhiman

    Worth a quick read Good Book. Breezy read. Got some interesting takeaways. 🙏 I liked the fact that the book does not over obsess over academia and gets into practical tips straight away - it is written in a good formatting too - makes it easy to read too.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Gokula Krishnan

    Best exclusive book on talk with self I loved all the 12 chapters of this book. Very helpful book in addressing how one should manage self talk, which we utter daily subconsciously. Small book, but yet very sound one. Thanks Author Ian Tuhovsky

  15. 4 out of 5

    Michael Jackson

    Most practical guide ever read! Wow! I highly recommend this and his other books. No nonsense here are the steps to take. The rest is up to you. Exactly what I was looking for. I’m so grateful for Ian’s work, thank you sir you have given me a tool are use every day of my life.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Monique Ferrier

    Simple guidelines Reads quickly. The Science of Self-Talk seems quite evident once we finish reading the book. It’s not genius but practicality the author shares with us. We have to stay detached from our own thoughts, whether they are good or bad.

  17. 5 out of 5

    Amit

    Top to the point book To the point book crisp short and useful. The book will contain strategies to keep your mental state positive and confident

  18. 5 out of 5

    Rajeshkumar Yadav

    Started great Great start and had some pretty nice perspective and tips on having a check on how our mind thinks and how we can control what we think

  19. 5 out of 5

    Jordan Gagne

    Lots of useful information I really enjoyed the writing style in this book. It was easily laid out and had some very useful information and suggestions.

  20. 4 out of 5

    neeta makhija

    Insightful I found this book insightful. It was epiphany to learn how self talk influences us and how we can make tweaks to leverage it.

  21. 4 out of 5

    Annesha Sengupta

    Great book Nice reading Very helpful 😊 This book has been given me a way to talk to myself in a better way

  22. 5 out of 5

    SHUBHAM SINGH

    Good Book! A simple and crisp overview of some important points.

  23. 5 out of 5

    Kavya Sharma

    It’s a very informative and interactive book. Interesting read for self help

  24. 5 out of 5

    Mauz Ahmed

    Can buy

  25. 5 out of 5

    Gaurav Jain

    A short yet fascinating read !

  26. 5 out of 5

    Lakshit Sen

    Few chapters are good but overall it is not upto the mark!!

  27. 4 out of 5

    Uzzur Obuba

    Great Read Interesting read, simple and easy to follow. I like the direct and straightforward approach undertaken by the writer in delivering ideas.

  28. 5 out of 5

    Anish Kamble

  29. 5 out of 5

    shashi joglekar

  30. 4 out of 5

    Dinkar Arora

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