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Recovery: A Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics

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Rich with insight and awareness, Recovery explores the secrets, fears, hopes and issues that confront adult children of alcoholics. Authors and widely respected therapists and ACOA workshop leaders Herbert Gravitz and Julie Bowden detail in a clear question-and-answer format the challenges of control and inadequacy that ACOAs face as they struggle for recovery and understa Rich with insight and awareness, Recovery explores the secrets, fears, hopes and issues that confront adult children of alcoholics. Authors and widely respected therapists and ACOA workshop leaders Herbert Gravitz and Julie Bowden detail in a clear question-and-answer format the challenges of control and inadequacy that ACOAs face as they struggle for recovery and understanding, stage-by-stage: Survival * Emergent Awareness * Core Issues * Transformations * Integration * Genesis. If you feel troubled by your post, Recovery will start you on the path of self-awareness, as it explores the searching questions adult children of alcoholics seek to hove answered: * How con I overcome my need for control? * Do all ACOAs ploy the some kind of roles in the family? * How do I overcome my fear of intimacy? * What is all-or-none functioning? * How can ACOAs maintain self-confidence and awareness after recovery? * How do ACOAs handle the family after understanding its influence? * And many other important questions about your post, family and feelings. Written with warmth, joy and real understanding, Recovery will inspire you to meet the challenges of the post and overcome the obstacles to your happiness.


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Rich with insight and awareness, Recovery explores the secrets, fears, hopes and issues that confront adult children of alcoholics. Authors and widely respected therapists and ACOA workshop leaders Herbert Gravitz and Julie Bowden detail in a clear question-and-answer format the challenges of control and inadequacy that ACOAs face as they struggle for recovery and understa Rich with insight and awareness, Recovery explores the secrets, fears, hopes and issues that confront adult children of alcoholics. Authors and widely respected therapists and ACOA workshop leaders Herbert Gravitz and Julie Bowden detail in a clear question-and-answer format the challenges of control and inadequacy that ACOAs face as they struggle for recovery and understanding, stage-by-stage: Survival * Emergent Awareness * Core Issues * Transformations * Integration * Genesis. If you feel troubled by your post, Recovery will start you on the path of self-awareness, as it explores the searching questions adult children of alcoholics seek to hove answered: * How con I overcome my need for control? * Do all ACOAs ploy the some kind of roles in the family? * How do I overcome my fear of intimacy? * What is all-or-none functioning? * How can ACOAs maintain self-confidence and awareness after recovery? * How do ACOAs handle the family after understanding its influence? * And many other important questions about your post, family and feelings. Written with warmth, joy and real understanding, Recovery will inspire you to meet the challenges of the post and overcome the obstacles to your happiness.

30 review for Recovery: A Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics

  1. 4 out of 5

    lov2laf

    I think this book is more helpful for the person just realizing they come from an alcoholic home, offering sound information in a kind manner. However, for those that are already familiar with the territory, there are still some nuggets of wisdom to pick up and good reminders. The book is in a Q & A format so it's easy to digest and well-structured. It does a good job of identifying common issues and giving advice on what would be most helpful to do, think, or feel in place of the typical scars th I think this book is more helpful for the person just realizing they come from an alcoholic home, offering sound information in a kind manner. However, for those that are already familiar with the territory, there are still some nuggets of wisdom to pick up and good reminders. The book is in a Q & A format so it's easy to digest and well-structured. It does a good job of identifying common issues and giving advice on what would be most helpful to do, think, or feel in place of the typical scars that most ACAs experience. It's a good starting ground but more detailed recovery strategies can be found in other books such as Pete Walker's 'Complex PTSD'. I'd recommend more for the 'just realizing' set of readers but it's a solid book, overall.

  2. 4 out of 5

    Vincze Andrada

    "As a child, it may have been necessary to bury certain traumatizing experiences. If a child is being abused emotionally, physically or sexually and there is no one to turn for help, she or he might think, "It's not really bad. It's no big deal. In fact, it doesn't even bother me that much." Such denial can allow children to live through horrors which, if fully comprehended, might be devastating. To bury the pain was to ensure survival as a child." "As a child, it may have been necessary to bury certain traumatizing experiences. If a child is being abused emotionally, physically or sexually and there is no one to turn for help, she or he might think, "It's not really bad. It's no big deal. In fact, it doesn't even bother me that much." Such denial can allow children to live through horrors which, if fully comprehended, might be devastating. To bury the pain was to ensure survival as a child."

  3. 4 out of 5

    Aurélien Thomas

    I have picked this up hoping to get advice regarding how to change some negative and pervasive aspects of my character, that I know stem from me being a ACOA. I was slightly disappointed ,as the advices given are far too light and not very helpful! In fact, most of it all stresses the main characteristics of an ACOA's personality, while insisting these features can be overcome and/or turned into strength. Nothing wrong with that, but for a book titled 'Recovery', I had expected something else an I have picked this up hoping to get advice regarding how to change some negative and pervasive aspects of my character, that I know stem from me being a ACOA. I was slightly disappointed ,as the advices given are far too light and not very helpful! In fact, most of it all stresses the main characteristics of an ACOA's personality, while insisting these features can be overcome and/or turned into strength. Nothing wrong with that, but for a book titled 'Recovery', I had expected something else and with more substance. Some might find it inspiring. I for one found it too easy, light, and barely useful. As far as I am concerned, only the chapter 'Core Issues', if you are not already familiar with the topic, could worth a read.

  4. 4 out of 5

    jewelthinks

    at first, i wasn’t going to share this. because: embarrassment, shame, fear, etcetera etcetera. but i ain’t no punk -- not used in a derogatory manner -- meaning that i ain’t never gonna be scared to live my best life. ever, ever again. (cue Lil Duval) moving forward: out loud. on purpose. and I’m definitely not gonna be reading in secret. all i have to offer in this life is my authenticity. i’m reading this book because I need it. i didn’t know I needed it until recently. for when the scars are at first, i wasn’t going to share this. because: embarrassment, shame, fear, etcetera etcetera. but i ain’t no punk -- not used in a derogatory manner -- meaning that i ain’t never gonna be scared to live my best life. ever, ever again. (cue Lil Duval) moving forward: out loud. on purpose. and I’m definitely not gonna be reading in secret. all i have to offer in this life is my authenticity. i’m reading this book because I need it. i didn’t know I needed it until recently. for when the scars are invisible. because: reaching 40 will call your bluff and bring up all kinds of ish you thought you packed up and put away – for good. i needed this and need it. I zipped through this even though it is heavy and intensely. I read it so quickly because it explained so much, so much of what I’ve been dealing with my adult life! I’m not crazy. Nothing is wrong with me and I’m saying, “no” to toxic family relationships and manipulation. I’m going to reread this slowly sitting with each section purposely ...

  5. 4 out of 5

    Camber

    You will hate and love this book at the same time. It really helps thoughs of us that grew up in a unhealthy relationship identify the real problems that we have learned, but you'll hate it cause it makes you deal with the problems you have learned. This book with help you discover yourself and cope with problems in your childhood. You will hate and love this book at the same time. It really helps thoughs of us that grew up in a unhealthy relationship identify the real problems that we have learned, but you'll hate it cause it makes you deal with the problems you have learned. This book with help you discover yourself and cope with problems in your childhood.

  6. 4 out of 5

    Bre

    Sort of eye-opening in a semi-self help way, but not overtly so nor in a language that requires a special psych-decoding dictionary. I liked it. It actually made me a realize a few things about why I am how I am, because of things that happened to me as a child.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Robert Henry

    Fantastic book. Recommend for anyone adult children of alcoholics.

  8. 5 out of 5

    Thomas Kilroy

    It is said Alcoholics don’t have relationships; they just take hostages. Emotional hostages for sure and in a subtle and deadly way, physical too. This book is powerful in the sense that it brought to me a different perspective of being the "Adult Child of an Alcoholic"(ACoA). What resonates most is the book's highlighting of the role of anxiety for an ACoA and its insidious ongoing effects in life. Never knowing what to expect when you approach your house, or when your phone rings. Things can b It is said Alcoholics don’t have relationships; they just take hostages. Emotional hostages for sure and in a subtle and deadly way, physical too. This book is powerful in the sense that it brought to me a different perspective of being the "Adult Child of an Alcoholic"(ACoA). What resonates most is the book's highlighting of the role of anxiety for an ACoA and its insidious ongoing effects in life. Never knowing what to expect when you approach your house, or when your phone rings. Things can be fine for months but it is never ever safe to really relax. This leads to all sorts of malaises from not being able to simply relax and enjoy...I dunno...anything to the suppression of spontaneity and playfulness. Anxiety is your normal setting...you hide it..but it is always there. The book is structured in a series of 79 questions making it easy to dip in and out — 100 pages means you can flake through it easy enough. The role of the co-alcoholic - the partner who person who an alcoholic person assuming responsibilities on their behalf, minimising or denying the problem drinking — is also mentioned. "The denial protects them from the horror that their life is out of control" is a compassionate way to look at their predicament. Doubt...I remember as a teenager I used to wonder how I could come up with my own opinions...I just couldn't trust what my senses told me. Being told to ignore your own lived experiences, to be complicit in the denial, leaves you distrusting your own senses, your own experiences as a child...you defer to others. Parents are the primary source of a child’s sense of self-worth and this whole fuckin horror show of human emotional ineptness and bleak immaturity (my words) leads to a world of learned double standards, denial, lying, shame, fear, anxiety that shatters your ability to be assertive...to believe in anything. You carry the duplicity constantly and it is NOT ok to talk about this. So, it turns out that the two central elements for ACoA are control and all or nothing thinking - they are at that heart of all those self-defeating patterns that characterise their lives...as a regular drama queen I get that. I could write much more...I won't...it's a worthwhile, helpful and positive book. Need to work on my reviewing chops...my autistic reviewing chops. Ha!...right...next book

  9. 5 out of 5

    Julieta

    I went into this book wondering if my childhood experience shaped some of the negative characteristics within my personality. After reading this book, I can resoundingly say YES. I feel more aware and in tune with myself than I ever have. Finally, it all makes sense. Why do I feel a need to control every situation? Why am I overly responsible? Why do I say “nothing”, when someone asks me what’s wrong? This is the first book or written text that I have read concerning the topic of adult children o I went into this book wondering if my childhood experience shaped some of the negative characteristics within my personality. After reading this book, I can resoundingly say YES. I feel more aware and in tune with myself than I ever have. Finally, it all makes sense. Why do I feel a need to control every situation? Why am I overly responsible? Why do I say “nothing”, when someone asks me what’s wrong? This is the first book or written text that I have read concerning the topic of adult children of alcoholics. If you’re a “beginner” in studying this area of your life, I would highly suggest diving into this book and the sooner the better. If you have an all or nothing attitude, this book will wake you up to that. If you have difficulty trusting others, this book will walk you through that one step at a time. This book may have been written 40 years ago, but for me it was more prevalent than ever. To the authors, I thank you. I look forward to continuing my journey in this realm of my personal reflection and breaking the cycle.

  10. 4 out of 5

    Donna

    Question and answer format, this book does a great job of characterizing how growing up in an alcoholic family will influence an individual. It offers hope and how it will feel during the recovery process, but it did not provide a lot of detail in how to achieve recovery. Seems like it would be a good complement to someone in therapy. It was great to recognize behaviors in an ACoA family member and to help put it all into perspective.

  11. 5 out of 5

    C.J

    Wisely helpful,insightful and undoubtedly life changing. The road to recovery is long,winding and often treacherously tough. This book has always been my trusty companion to help me navigate the storms and misdirections along the way. Still here,still recovering,still learning. “One day at a time.”

  12. 5 out of 5

    Domonique

    Not sure how I feel about it.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Sandi

    If you grew up in a dysfunctional, alcoholic home, I recommending taking the first step by reading this book. I read it every so often when I may be falling back into crazymaking behavior.

  14. 4 out of 5

    Jill Litschewski

    A MUST read. If you are anyone struggling with re-occurring unhealthy relationship patterns and you are an ACOA, this is for you. Period.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Emily

    Everyone has at least one of the following: an alcoholic in your family, an alcoholic in the family of a loved one, or people in your life who have the dysfuctional behaviors often perpetuated in codependent families. Therefore, everyone should read this book.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Donna Waggener

    I'm in a 12 Step Recovery Program for Adult Children of Alcoholics and found this book very helpful with good information I'm in a 12 Step Recovery Program for Adult Children of Alcoholics and found this book very helpful with good information

  17. 4 out of 5

    Shelly

    Really great reference for personal growth. I am hoping to read it again soon. Update: Re-read and still a great reference.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Tory

  19. 4 out of 5

    Amy

  20. 4 out of 5

    Richard Mollica

  21. 5 out of 5

    Lauren Ann

  22. 4 out of 5

    E

  23. 4 out of 5

    AMV

  24. 4 out of 5

    michelle

  25. 5 out of 5

    Yvonne Crawford

  26. 4 out of 5

    Brittany

  27. 5 out of 5

    Jeremiah Froehling

  28. 4 out of 5

    Becky

  29. 5 out of 5

    Samantha

  30. 5 out of 5

    Nicola iluyemi

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