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The Man in the Mirror: Solving the 24 Problems Men Face

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Written by a foremost Christian men's leader, this powerful book invites men to take a probing look at their identities, relationships, finances, time, temperament, and the means to bring about lasting change in their lives. Written by a foremost Christian men's leader, this powerful book invites men to take a probing look at their identities, relationships, finances, time, temperament, and the means to bring about lasting change in their lives.


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Written by a foremost Christian men's leader, this powerful book invites men to take a probing look at their identities, relationships, finances, time, temperament, and the means to bring about lasting change in their lives. Written by a foremost Christian men's leader, this powerful book invites men to take a probing look at their identities, relationships, finances, time, temperament, and the means to bring about lasting change in their lives.

30 review for The Man in the Mirror: Solving the 24 Problems Men Face

  1. 4 out of 5

    Marty

    I don't know where to start. This book didn't age well. Even the update can't save it from deep misogynistic undertones. For a book about all men's struggles I felt like I needed to be watching more sports to get this. It's wisdom seemed pretty run-of-the-mill Conservative Christian. Growing up in the church there wasn't much new here to me. A good friend of mine, a man, gave me this. I read it for him. Because I love him and care about him as a friend. And because he reads books I recommend (an I don't know where to start. This book didn't age well. Even the update can't save it from deep misogynistic undertones. For a book about all men's struggles I felt like I needed to be watching more sports to get this. It's wisdom seemed pretty run-of-the-mill Conservative Christian. Growing up in the church there wasn't much new here to me. A good friend of mine, a man, gave me this. I read it for him. Because I love him and care about him as a friend. And because he reads books I recommend (and write). I respect him. Here's the thing, I think there are probably a lot of men who are sucked into a lot of these problems. I think especially men in the US are suckered into this sort of "don't feel things, suppress your true self, be tough" machoism. They're not inwardly discerning. They don't think about their motivations often. They aren't self-reflective and they aren't self-aware. And there is an even smaller subset of Christian men who are like that. But...that ain't me. Personally, I'm a poet, I'm a writer. I'm a creative. I don't need a golf game or a corner office to feel like a man. That sounds completely absurd to me. I hope this helps some people figure out some practical spirituality, because sure why not, great. But there are a lot better publications out there that don't struggle from 1940's mad-men office syndrome. There were a number of lines that I wanted to include in my review, because I found them so off-putting and, frankly, stupid. But it doesn't seem worth it to go back and skim the book for it now. I guess when it comes to Christian-life type books I want something with deeper insights. The examples are sometimes so trite they come off as nothing more than holier-than-thou pulpit gags. I've heard them all a zillion times. But, I don't know, maybe Patrick Morely is holier than I am. Maybe I want to read a book about the Christian-life from a "bad guy" I don't know. I don't know. The hell do I know? I didn't like this book. It has some VERY abrasive passages about suicide & depression. Morley doesn't seem to be anywhere near as competent or researched as he could be before writing about sensitive topics--especially for a man reading this book who's LITERALLY picking it up because it seems like a book that could help him solve problems. This is also flooded with a host of "men should be the breadwinners, women should raise the family" "don't hire the attractive woman because you'll have an affair with your secretary!" (gasp, oh really? I will????) Ugh. I stuck this out cause I love my friend. But damn, I was expecting a lot more from this read.

  2. 4 out of 5

    Nicolas

    This book is firmly planted in the 1980's. It is in desperate need of a revised edition. Like any devotional it was hit-and-miss for me. It had some segments that really put things in perspective for me and others that just didn't apply at all. Overall I think it's worth the read, but again, please update it. This book is firmly planted in the 1980's. It is in desperate need of a revised edition. Like any devotional it was hit-and-miss for me. It had some segments that really put things in perspective for me and others that just didn't apply at all. Overall I think it's worth the read, but again, please update it.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Brandon Perry

    Probably one of the best books I've read so far. Every topic in here is a real struggle in manhood, and I believe the author gives great pointers on how to keep our true focus on Christ. Then he finishes the book with a great chapter on accountability partners, a hard thing for almost all men as we are afraid to be vulnerable. Highly recommend anyone who is looking to make an authentic change in their life to not just read this book, but study it. Probably one of the best books I've read so far. Every topic in here is a real struggle in manhood, and I believe the author gives great pointers on how to keep our true focus on Christ. Then he finishes the book with a great chapter on accountability partners, a hard thing for almost all men as we are afraid to be vulnerable. Highly recommend anyone who is looking to make an authentic change in their life to not just read this book, but study it.

  4. 4 out of 5

    Matt Brandt

    Excellent book! Every man should read this book, it will help you be a better man. This is a book I will buy for others.

  5. 4 out of 5

    Scott

    It is a great book to work through with some other guys! Talking about the issues rather than just reading them helps put them into perspective in your own life!

  6. 5 out of 5

    Craig

    Not only is this a great book for men, but I think women would gain a lot from reading this book as well. Although written specifically for men, some of the principles are applicable to women as well. Further, I recommend this to wives, as I think it will help you better understand what goes on in the mind of your husband. This book kicked my butt in many place and challenged me. I will for sure revisit this book and work my way through the application questions at the end of each chapter. I als Not only is this a great book for men, but I think women would gain a lot from reading this book as well. Although written specifically for men, some of the principles are applicable to women as well. Further, I recommend this to wives, as I think it will help you better understand what goes on in the mind of your husband. This book kicked my butt in many place and challenged me. I will for sure revisit this book and work my way through the application questions at the end of each chapter. I also look forward to reading the follow up books put out by the organization Man in the Mirror.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Douglas

    Excellent. A book for the Christian man to help him live up to his role.

  8. 5 out of 5

    Chadster

    Wow, this book reveals many truths... all men who are serious about growing as a Godly man should read this book.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Jason Grubbs

    The one book besides the Bible that every man should read. Pat Morley knows men and the struggles they face.

  10. 4 out of 5

    Truman Rexti

    A must read for every christian man. Get the 2014 version (update from this version) This my current daily bread. It speaks to every man.

  11. 5 out of 5

    Dean Scott

    ugh.

  12. 5 out of 5

    John Lawless

    Every man should read this book, it is life changing.

  13. 5 out of 5

    John Eck

    Overall, helpful reminders for life. Mostly practical application of scripture, lots of Proverbs. Worth keeping on the bookshelf for reference during times of struggle. I did have issue with a couple of recurring themes. 1) a few passages urging readers to “claim” a certain Scripture as a promise. Both references took the verse out of its intended context. It appeared the author was almost trying to force God to honor a perceived promise. 2) in the financial section...citing the 10% tithe as a s Overall, helpful reminders for life. Mostly practical application of scripture, lots of Proverbs. Worth keeping on the bookshelf for reference during times of struggle. I did have issue with a couple of recurring themes. 1) a few passages urging readers to “claim” a certain Scripture as a promise. Both references took the verse out of its intended context. It appeared the author was almost trying to force God to honor a perceived promise. 2) in the financial section...citing the 10% tithe as a standard for believers. This comes from the Old Testament Jewish law which was basically an income tax system, and is not applicable to our giving currently. It was a actually much more than 10%. Not that it’s wrong to do, but we are only commanded to be generous and give cheerfully what is in our heart to give. No percentages or set numbers are commanded. Supporting pastors, the needy, the sick, the widows is the command. Some “church” institutions push this false command to build giant extravagant buildings and have enormous staffs and multiple programs. The true church are the followers of Christ, not the institutions set up in his country. We are not understanding giving biblically, and the churches we attend are mostly not stewarding that money wisely or biblically. No where in Scripture are we commanded to give so we can build a fancy church. The last church I attended was nothing more than a country club for middle to upper class suburbanites.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Joseph Tavernier

    This book has so many problems. The first part of the book he frequently sets up paragraphs as if he is going one way and then the paragraph ends with sentence advocating the opposite. Other times he's vague or broad enough that you can read whatever you want into it, which is pointless here. For example, every time he talks about a couple where the men and the women both work the relationship is always doomed. He never clarifies if it was because their commitment to making money distracted from This book has so many problems. The first part of the book he frequently sets up paragraphs as if he is going one way and then the paragraph ends with sentence advocating the opposite. Other times he's vague or broad enough that you can read whatever you want into it, which is pointless here. For example, every time he talks about a couple where the men and the women both work the relationship is always doomed. He never clarifies if it was because their commitment to making money distracted from their commitment to each other, or if it was because they didn't manage their stress well, or if women just shouldn't be in the workplace. This happens at least five times and is never elaborated on. In fact, the entire second part of the book should be skipped. It's about relationships and he gives terrible advice. It's condescending to women, and is what I'm sure the other reviews are referring to when they say "This guy's attitude belongs in the fifties". The third part was better but was still mired but the issues of inconsistency and vagueness that plagued the first part. Honestly the book read like a first draft which is pretty bad for the supposed Updated 25th anniversary edition that I read. I liked the questions this book made me ask about my relationship with God, but none of the arguments it made in solving those questions. I'm not saying there's nothing of value here, but that you can probably get much much more from other books.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Jeff Abramovitz

    Man in the mirror is a timeless overarching analysis and reference book about the main issues every man (and woman) faces as a Christian. Yes, some of the stories and analogies are dated as the book has been in print a number of years. Morley has updated it, I believe, as my version included more recent stories including social media and updated contemporary references sprinkled throughout the book. But, the test of a timeless book is whether or not the issues it addresses are still relevant or Man in the mirror is a timeless overarching analysis and reference book about the main issues every man (and woman) faces as a Christian. Yes, some of the stories and analogies are dated as the book has been in print a number of years. Morley has updated it, I believe, as my version included more recent stories including social media and updated contemporary references sprinkled throughout the book. But, the test of a timeless book is whether or not the issues it addresses are still relevant or not. In this case, we are talking about man and, though things have changed technologically, we still deal with the same spiritual struggles. And, he addresses them one by one. It's a great book to go through as a men's study or in a discipleship setting because it will cause you to discuss every major issue we face as men. Well done, Patrick Morley.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Ben Reynolds

    For those who want to know what real manhood looks like, this book is a great place to start. It's well-written, comprehensive, and was a pleasure to read for my personal worship time each day. Morley challenges us to become the men that God has created us to be by placing every aspect of our lives under the lordship of Jesus. This has never been more important than it is today. As another author put it, 'The greatest want of the world is the want of men—men who will not be bought or sold, men w For those who want to know what real manhood looks like, this book is a great place to start. It's well-written, comprehensive, and was a pleasure to read for my personal worship time each day. Morley challenges us to become the men that God has created us to be by placing every aspect of our lives under the lordship of Jesus. This has never been more important than it is today. As another author put it, 'The greatest want of the world is the want of men—men who will not be bought or sold, men who in their inmost souls are true and honest, men who do not fear to call sin by its right name, men whose conscience is as true to duty as the needle to the pole, men who will stand for the right though the heavens fall.'

  17. 4 out of 5

    Zachary Stewart

    This book is written for men who find themselves struggling to be the man they want to be because they don't know how. Morley's book of discipleship touches upon nearly every significant aspect of a man's life, and how these topics can be approached from a Biblical perspective. A common theme is: "Get out of the consumeristic rat race and live for God, not yourself." Because the scope is vast, Morely does not dwell on any one topic but rather brings a holistic perspective to universal challenges This book is written for men who find themselves struggling to be the man they want to be because they don't know how. Morley's book of discipleship touches upon nearly every significant aspect of a man's life, and how these topics can be approached from a Biblical perspective. A common theme is: "Get out of the consumeristic rat race and live for God, not yourself." Because the scope is vast, Morely does not dwell on any one topic but rather brings a holistic perspective to universal challenges faced by every Christian man. This book is special to me because I read it before I was saved in 2016, and in reading it in 2020 (having a relationship with God), I got much more out of it.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Christopher Horne

    This book is for all men especially those who are not satisfied with life, those who have some type of 'void' in their life. You believe in God and attend church but have not dug deep for peace in your soul. There is a subtle difference between 'going to church' as a cultural person of faith and basing your whole life on the Bible. Patrick Morley writes to challenges these tenants in his book "MAN IN THE MIRROR" - What do I see? This book is for all men especially those who are not satisfied with life, those who have some type of 'void' in their life. You believe in God and attend church but have not dug deep for peace in your soul. There is a subtle difference between 'going to church' as a cultural person of faith and basing your whole life on the Bible. Patrick Morley writes to challenges these tenants in his book "MAN IN THE MIRROR" - What do I see?

  19. 4 out of 5

    Erik Rostad

    So many of the books I read are how to achieve goals and have more productivity. But it’s important to take a step back every now and then and read a book that challenges you to make sure you have the right goals to begin with. That you are heading in the direction you should be going. Otherwise, achiveing goals that lead to the wrong result is not going to be helpful. This was a helpful book in a variety of areas.

  20. 4 out of 5

    Brandon Leatherman

    I really enjoyed reading this book! It is full of Godly wisdom and sound advice, and more than once, while reading it, I was surprised to read about problems and issues that are going on in my own life. I normally read this book over lunch, and didn't have a pen so that I could underline or take notes, so I will have to go back and re-read it in the near future to glean even more wisdom from where I can! It's a must-read for men! I really enjoyed reading this book! It is full of Godly wisdom and sound advice, and more than once, while reading it, I was surprised to read about problems and issues that are going on in my own life. I normally read this book over lunch, and didn't have a pen so that I could underline or take notes, so I will have to go back and re-read it in the near future to glean even more wisdom from where I can! It's a must-read for men!

  21. 4 out of 5

    Michael Vincent

    My third time (at least) through. His 25th anniversary edition does have a few changes and comes in an inexpensive paperback edition which we make available to visitors of our church. Morley hits so many of men's nails on the head as he describes different struggles men face, and gives healthy answers to these issues. A great book to use for a men's group. My third time (at least) through. His 25th anniversary edition does have a few changes and comes in an inexpensive paperback edition which we make available to visitors of our church. Morley hits so many of men's nails on the head as he describes different struggles men face, and gives healthy answers to these issues. A great book to use for a men's group.

  22. 4 out of 5

    Jeff Collins

    all men face the same temptations. this is a practical book that doesn't mince words. I have read through and refer to it for strength from time to time I gave a copy of this to my teenage son when I caught him doing some things he shouldn't all men face the same temptations. this is a practical book that doesn't mince words. I have read through and refer to it for strength from time to time I gave a copy of this to my teenage son when I caught him doing some things he shouldn't

  23. 5 out of 5

    Andy Sullivan

    I really think that this book is a great read for any modern male. You're going to enjoy this book if you're one who likes to learn, have their horizons broadened. There's even a section in the back for teachers who choose to use this book as a teaching manual. I really think that this book is a great read for any modern male. You're going to enjoy this book if you're one who likes to learn, have their horizons broadened. There's even a section in the back for teachers who choose to use this book as a teaching manual.

  24. 4 out of 5

    Jason Nather

    I read the updated version and it did not feel dated. This has got to be one of the most comprehensive and practical books on men's discipleship out there, and it subtly lays out some deep biblical theology. I read the updated version and it did not feel dated. This has got to be one of the most comprehensive and practical books on men's discipleship out there, and it subtly lays out some deep biblical theology.

  25. 4 out of 5

    Jonathan

    One of the best resources for men's ministry I have ever read. I would highly recommend this book to any man who struggles with any part of his walk with God, his family, his work, or in personal matters. It is a comprehensive approach to men's discipleship. One of the best resources for men's ministry I have ever read. I would highly recommend this book to any man who struggles with any part of his walk with God, his family, his work, or in personal matters. It is a comprehensive approach to men's discipleship.

  26. 4 out of 5

    Jason

    Very succinct writing on problems every man is facing. Used it in a men's group and for my own private encouragement and challenge. Every man needs the reminders, warnings, and encouragement to be found inside these pages. Very succinct writing on problems every man is facing. Used it in a men's group and for my own private encouragement and challenge. Every man needs the reminders, warnings, and encouragement to be found inside these pages.

  27. 4 out of 5

    Anthony

    A great book to help deal with some struggles we all face. it helps you know you're not alone in the struggles you face. A great book to help deal with some struggles we all face. it helps you know you're not alone in the struggles you face.

  28. 4 out of 5

    Jomel Maroma

    Easily one of the best books I've read this 2017! Easily one of the best books I've read this 2017!

  29. 5 out of 5

    Matthew

    Insightful, somewhat engaging, practical.

  30. 5 out of 5

    Evghenii

    Not a bad book. At times it feels like DIY Christian life. Addresses very important issues in lives of men.

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