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If Men Could Talk: Translating the Secret Language of Men

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This in-depth look into the seven attributes that can be used to help decode and interpret male behavior and explains the underpinnings of their outer behavioral patterns is presented. It also includes practical insights and useful tips on how women and men can learn how to talk, and to change men's non-verbal, action-oriented communications into the language of emotional This in-depth look into the seven attributes that can be used to help decode and interpret male behavior and explains the underpinnings of their outer behavioral patterns is presented. It also includes practical insights and useful tips on how women and men can learn how to talk, and to change men's non-verbal, action-oriented communications into the language of emotional dialogue.


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This in-depth look into the seven attributes that can be used to help decode and interpret male behavior and explains the underpinnings of their outer behavioral patterns is presented. It also includes practical insights and useful tips on how women and men can learn how to talk, and to change men's non-verbal, action-oriented communications into the language of emotional This in-depth look into the seven attributes that can be used to help decode and interpret male behavior and explains the underpinnings of their outer behavioral patterns is presented. It also includes practical insights and useful tips on how women and men can learn how to talk, and to change men's non-verbal, action-oriented communications into the language of emotional dialogue.

30 review for If Men Could Talk: Translating the Secret Language of Men

  1. 5 out of 5

    Annie Ly

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Alon Gratch’s If Men Could Talk tells the story of himself, a psychologist who particularly studies the thoughts of his male patients. The book is set mainly in his office at anytime, where patients speak about their issues for long periods of time. Hoping to reveal the repressed thoughts and emotions of men, Alon Gratch compiles and studies the different cases of his many patients. He reveals some conversations and quotes from his patients and explains the hidden meanings or connection to their Alon Gratch’s If Men Could Talk tells the story of himself, a psychologist who particularly studies the thoughts of his male patients. The book is set mainly in his office at anytime, where patients speak about their issues for long periods of time. Hoping to reveal the repressed thoughts and emotions of men, Alon Gratch compiles and studies the different cases of his many patients. He reveals some conversations and quotes from his patients and explains the hidden meanings or connection to their past life as children or younger men, a better insight on why men may act like they do at times. The book examines frustrating situations both men and women can relate to and gives a few techniques or advice to help their male partner open up or speak what they are actually thinking. Ultimately the story of the analysis of men is a story of examples of men acting disagreeably, giving insight on these actions, helping us deal with them, and notifying us that there is a deeper meaning in what males say. It all adds up to psychology of frustrating males, a way for us to better understand and even solve problems involving them. If Men Could Talk tells these ideas and in full detail, allowing us to rethink and reconsider our thoughts regarding men, whether negative or positive, and open themselves up for a healthier and more “free” life. If I could recommend If Men Could Talk, I would, particularly to females, though it would be perfectly interesting and enjoyable to men as well, because I feel that book is would be extremely interesting to them with examples that are possibly relatable to one. The book gives in great detail, the possible reasons why men act in ways that they do. For example, if a man keeps demanding his wife or girlfriend to dress or talk in the way the he wants even if she does not want to. As stated before, the book gives examples with real life patients with problems with things such as relationships or social misunderstandings, some of which may remind you, as it did to me, of male friends, acquaintances, or family members. It may clear up misunderstandings or give you a new perspective on how you view males from negative to positive, or vice versa, given how you felt about each patient and their reasons. The book also gives advice on how to deal with difficult matters involving them, such as when your father may be angry at his family because something at work is not going well. In this matter one should encourage the father to open up about it, and complain to the family instead of projecting the frustrations at the family. The most memorable moment in the book for me was when Gratch explained a case in which the boyfriend of a couple was shaming his girlfriends, a case that struck me as interesting due to the fact that a few of my close friends had been subjected to the same kind of treatment by their own boyfriends. Gratch consistently talked about these flaws and later the patients’ childhood and connections of it to their current action. The patient was defending his self-esteem with a defense mechanism I won’t go to far in about. This bit just stood out me, since I could somewhat relate, and understand why these actions occur. The examples and explanations given changed some thoughts on what I had about male relatives, especially when my dad can be particularly annoying or rude to my mother. I felt a bit more empathetic and understanding to their actions, and I feel as if I became more aware of a man’s feelings. Men are human too, they can’t always “man up.” I learned as I became more aware, and it was due to this book. I was able to receive more knowledge about psychological facts about humans, which did quite interest me! I also learned not to become to judgmental quickly. As cliché as it is, “Don’t judge a book by it cover,” in this case the cover is a man’s words or actions. There could be an underlying emotion or meaning under what they say or do, and this opened my eyes up. I for one don’t always agree with what my dad says when he’s upset about himself, but I learned to be more patient, and eventually he did open up about his problems. I often hear “I don’t understand men,” a somewhat overused statement I hear or see bit too often in life or teenage fan fiction. Perhaps this book could shine some light and offer some insight as it has done so for me.

  2. 4 out of 5

    David Bystricky

    This book showed me that behind my ample displays of masculinity there may be shame and uncertainty which I try to cover up. That each grandeur has a little brother - the opposite quality - lurking in the shadow just behind it. To overcome this inner conflict you need to reach out to the shadowy side, embrace the weakness and invite it into the light. Being a man means being also a woman and only if you cultivate both sides of you you can reach the resolution of the conflict. I'm very much posit This book showed me that behind my ample displays of masculinity there may be shame and uncertainty which I try to cover up. That each grandeur has a little brother - the opposite quality - lurking in the shadow just behind it. To overcome this inner conflict you need to reach out to the shadowy side, embrace the weakness and invite it into the light. Being a man means being also a woman and only if you cultivate both sides of you you can reach the resolution of the conflict. I'm very much positively biased towards the Jungian way of seeing things so I read the book with delight. On the other hand - the theory in this book is clumsy, the layout of ideas is like a bumpy road - at my great relief the author patched the road with a lot of clinical examples which makes it readable like a novel.

  3. 5 out of 5

    Jeanine Marie Swenson

    An individual psychotherapist who primarily works with men, Alon Gratch shines light on the compromises men make at an early age (distancing from feelings, forsaking communication for power) in our current culture that is literally crazy-making. Absolutely loved this one!

  4. 4 out of 5

    Duygu

    It was clear writtten good and enjoyable book. Recommended to those who have problem understanding what is going on in the men psyche.

  5. 4 out of 5

    Anu

    Great book for clinicians as well as laypeople!

  6. 4 out of 5

    Mary

    Too many case stories, I began skipping over some, then skipping some more. Not what I was hoping to find here. Wanted some substantive info on how men think. LOL

  7. 5 out of 5

    Viorel

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Zilele trecute vorbeam cu un barbat despre agresivitate, teoria lui fiind ca la agresivitate “trebuie” sa raspunzi cu agresivitate. Eu nu sunt de acord cu asta si citind cartea lui Alon Gratch am inteles mai multe despre barbati si de ce unii gandesc asa. Am inteles de ce atat de multi considera ca violenta poate fi solutie la ... ceva. Am inteles de ce unii sunt atat de complexati si au probleme de intimitate si comunicare. Am inteles de ce eu am uneori anumite comportamente pe care acum doresc Zilele trecute vorbeam cu un barbat despre agresivitate, teoria lui fiind ca la agresivitate “trebuie” sa raspunzi cu agresivitate. Eu nu sunt de acord cu asta si citind cartea lui Alon Gratch am inteles mai multe despre barbati si de ce unii gandesc asa. Am inteles de ce atat de multi considera ca violenta poate fi solutie la ... ceva. Am inteles de ce unii sunt atat de complexati si au probleme de intimitate si comunicare. Am inteles de ce eu am uneori anumite comportamente pe care acum doresc sa mi le schimb. O carte foarte fain scrisa, usor de citit, cu multe exemple si structurata in sapte capitole construite cu mult sens: 1. Rusinea ... baietii nu plang 2. Absenta emotionala ... nu stiu ce simt 3. Nesiguranta masculina ... m-am plictisit sa fiu cel mai bun 4. Narcisismul ... uita-te la mine, asculta-ma, atinge-ma, simte-ma 5. Agresivitatea ... iti arat eu cine e seful 6. Autodistrugerea ... sunt un ratat 7. Initiativa sexuala ... vreau sex acum O carte pe care cred ca fiecare barbat (sau femeie) ar trebui sa o citeasca. Eu am fost placut impresionat si simt ca am si invatat ceva.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Juozas Šalna

    problems? it's your mother or your penis. problems? it's your mother or your penis.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Robespierre Cat

    I've read this at least 8 times. I think he wrote a very good book. It describes male defenses and through them illustrates how and what a male might be communicating. Despite that it is still difficult for me to accept the information. From shame through sexual acting out, you visit ways men couch their emotional content. It seems to me they don't have too much capacity to take in, and I still can't see how my understanding their style of letting me know that exactly helps me get considered-it I've read this at least 8 times. I think he wrote a very good book. It describes male defenses and through them illustrates how and what a male might be communicating. Despite that it is still difficult for me to accept the information. From shame through sexual acting out, you visit ways men couch their emotional content. It seems to me they don't have too much capacity to take in, and I still can't see how my understanding their style of letting me know that exactly helps me get considered-it just seems to say-they can't "do that." Anyway he's very well trained, it's not a run of the mill helper. Nothing about that is a waste of time.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Janet

    Super insightful, even if I don't always buy into the "your mother was cold and therefore you've developed a love/hate for cold women" mentality of psychology. Despite that flaw of stance, I got a really good sense of how truly difficult it can be for men to express their true emotions. Is it biological? Societal? Regardless, they shall likely remain a tough nut for me to crack. Many thanks to this author for at least beginning to decipher the code. Super insightful, even if I don't always buy into the "your mother was cold and therefore you've developed a love/hate for cold women" mentality of psychology. Despite that flaw of stance, I got a really good sense of how truly difficult it can be for men to express their true emotions. Is it biological? Societal? Regardless, they shall likely remain a tough nut for me to crack. Many thanks to this author for at least beginning to decipher the code.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Andrada Craciun

    This is the most insightful books I've ever read as it talks about the paradox of the emotional conflicts which have a sexual origin from the past or from present. It teaches you how to find solutions by searching sexual marks in the emotions. I also think it can be applied to women, too. This is the most insightful books I've ever read as it talks about the paradox of the emotional conflicts which have a sexual origin from the past or from present. It teaches you how to find solutions by searching sexual marks in the emotions. I also think it can be applied to women, too.

  12. 5 out of 5

    Ayşe Çetintaş

    Daha birkaç gün önce bitirdim ve kesinlikle harikaydı. Erkek bakış açısına dair yeni pencereler sundu. Her kadın ve erkeğin okuması gereken kitaplardan biri. Erkekleri anlamakta yorumlamakta güçlük çekenlere yeni bakış açılar getireceğini düşünüyorum.

  13. 5 out of 5

    Sharon

    This is a fascinating look at the inner lives of men - it's sure to give women a deeper understanding of our brothers, husbands, boyfriends and fathers. I'm on the second chapter and I already feel more compassionate and loving towards men in general - which is no small thing! This is a fascinating look at the inner lives of men - it's sure to give women a deeper understanding of our brothers, husbands, boyfriends and fathers. I'm on the second chapter and I already feel more compassionate and loving towards men in general - which is no small thing!

  14. 4 out of 5

    Jose

    every woman should read it.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Ewa Krzeminska

    As per a friend "every woman should read it"...I've done it JR! And I'll add to your comment:"every man should read it too." Intense, revealing and VERY interesting! As per a friend "every woman should read it"...I've done it JR! And I'll add to your comment:"every man should read it too." Intense, revealing and VERY interesting!

  16. 5 out of 5

    Jane

    an interesting look at the psychology of men, but fairly stereotypical interpretations.

  17. 4 out of 5

    I-ki

    It is an enlightening kind of book. I've been interested in learning more about the inner world of men. Most of the contents I already know but I like the concise way he writes about it. It is an enlightening kind of book. I've been interested in learning more about the inner world of men. Most of the contents I already know but I like the concise way he writes about it.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Doreen Merriman

  19. 5 out of 5

    Любомира

  20. 5 out of 5

    Tom

  21. 4 out of 5

    Sun Set

  22. 4 out of 5

    Rhonda

  23. 4 out of 5

    Jacqueline Bello

  24. 5 out of 5

    Crina Bucur

  25. 4 out of 5

    Yida

  26. 4 out of 5

    Marika

  27. 5 out of 5

    Tyrone

  28. 5 out of 5

    Bev Sturgis

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. psychotherapist talks about men's common problems psychotherapist talks about men's common problems

  29. 4 out of 5

    Jamie Knuth

  30. 5 out of 5

    Barbara

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