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The author of the New York Times bestseller Broken Open returns with a visceral and profound memoir of two sisters who, in the face of a bone marrow transplant—one the donor and one the recipient—begin a quest for acceptance, authenticity, and most of all, love. A mesmerizing and courageous memoir: the story of two sisters uncovering the depth of their love through the life The author of the New York Times bestseller Broken Open returns with a visceral and profound memoir of two sisters who, in the face of a bone marrow transplant—one the donor and one the recipient—begin a quest for acceptance, authenticity, and most of all, love. A mesmerizing and courageous memoir: the story of two sisters uncovering the depth of their love through the life-and-death experience of a bone marrow transplant. Throughout her life, Elizabeth Lesser has sought understanding about what it means to be true to oneself and, at the same time, truly connected to the ones we love. But when her sister Maggie needs a bone marrow transplant to save her life, and Lesser learns that she is the perfect match, she faces a far more immediate and complex question about what it really means to love—honestly, generously, and authentically. Hoping to give Maggie the best chance possible for a successful transplant, the sisters dig deep into the marrow of their relationship to clear a path to unconditional acceptance. They leave the bone marrow transplant up to the doctors, but take on what Lesser calls a "soul marrow transplant," examining their family history, having difficult conversations, examining old assumptions, and offering forgiveness until all that is left is love for each other’s true selves. Their process—before, during, and after the transplant—encourages them to take risks of authenticity in other aspects their lives. But life does not follow the storylines we plan for it. Maggie’s body is ultimately too weak to fight the relentless illness. As she and Lesser prepare for the inevitable, they grow ever closer as their shared blood cells become a symbol of the enduring bond they share. Told with suspense and humor, Marrow is joyous and heartbreaking, incandescent and profound. The story reveals how even our most difficult experiences can offer unexpected spiritual growth. Reflecting on the multifaceted nature of love—love of other, love of self, love of the world—Marrow is an unflinching and beautiful memoir about getting to the very center of ourselves.


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The author of the New York Times bestseller Broken Open returns with a visceral and profound memoir of two sisters who, in the face of a bone marrow transplant—one the donor and one the recipient—begin a quest for acceptance, authenticity, and most of all, love. A mesmerizing and courageous memoir: the story of two sisters uncovering the depth of their love through the life The author of the New York Times bestseller Broken Open returns with a visceral and profound memoir of two sisters who, in the face of a bone marrow transplant—one the donor and one the recipient—begin a quest for acceptance, authenticity, and most of all, love. A mesmerizing and courageous memoir: the story of two sisters uncovering the depth of their love through the life-and-death experience of a bone marrow transplant. Throughout her life, Elizabeth Lesser has sought understanding about what it means to be true to oneself and, at the same time, truly connected to the ones we love. But when her sister Maggie needs a bone marrow transplant to save her life, and Lesser learns that she is the perfect match, she faces a far more immediate and complex question about what it really means to love—honestly, generously, and authentically. Hoping to give Maggie the best chance possible for a successful transplant, the sisters dig deep into the marrow of their relationship to clear a path to unconditional acceptance. They leave the bone marrow transplant up to the doctors, but take on what Lesser calls a "soul marrow transplant," examining their family history, having difficult conversations, examining old assumptions, and offering forgiveness until all that is left is love for each other’s true selves. Their process—before, during, and after the transplant—encourages them to take risks of authenticity in other aspects their lives. But life does not follow the storylines we plan for it. Maggie’s body is ultimately too weak to fight the relentless illness. As she and Lesser prepare for the inevitable, they grow ever closer as their shared blood cells become a symbol of the enduring bond they share. Told with suspense and humor, Marrow is joyous and heartbreaking, incandescent and profound. The story reveals how even our most difficult experiences can offer unexpected spiritual growth. Reflecting on the multifaceted nature of love—love of other, love of self, love of the world—Marrow is an unflinching and beautiful memoir about getting to the very center of ourselves.

30 review for Marrow: Love, Loss and What Matters Most

  1. 4 out of 5

    Diana

    This was a beautiful book. Two adult sisters see a therapist to work through old grudges and assumptions they grew up with as part of a slightly dysfunctional family; they do this because Liz Lesser, the author, was a perfect match to give her sister potentially life-saving bone marrow in a transplant that could save her sister's life from lymphoma, and they don't want anything to stand in the way of success. More people should go to therapy with their siblings as adults. There are so many assump This was a beautiful book. Two adult sisters see a therapist to work through old grudges and assumptions they grew up with as part of a slightly dysfunctional family; they do this because Liz Lesser, the author, was a perfect match to give her sister potentially life-saving bone marrow in a transplant that could save her sister's life from lymphoma, and they don't want anything to stand in the way of success. More people should go to therapy with their siblings as adults. There are so many assumptions, hurts, misunderstandings that get set in childhood and then stick for the rest of our lives. Why is it so hard for people to talk about the things that really matter? We should all make the effort to learn how to communicate with love; it's really not that hard. Most people don't learn healthy communication from their parents, because their parents didn't know how either. So what's wrong with learning in adulthood, from a therapist? (I found this book at The Dollar Tree.)

  2. 4 out of 5

    Sarah Beth

    I received an advance readers' edition of this book from HarperCollins. This memoir explores the connection between the author and her sister Maggie. Maggie, suffering from cancer, receives a bone marrow transfer from her sister Liz. Through the process, the sisters also work on connecting with and accepting one another, sifting through decades of unspoken hurts and misunderstandings that were rooted in their childhood. In addition, this memoir is the author's personal reflection and advice to h I received an advance readers' edition of this book from HarperCollins. This memoir explores the connection between the author and her sister Maggie. Maggie, suffering from cancer, receives a bone marrow transfer from her sister Liz. Through the process, the sisters also work on connecting with and accepting one another, sifting through decades of unspoken hurts and misunderstandings that were rooted in their childhood. In addition, this memoir is the author's personal reflection and advice to her readers on the way to discovering your true self and living an authentic life guided by love. Author Elizabeth Lesser - Liz - grew up the second of four daughters. Although having siblings was a joyful and beautiful experience, being one of four meant that everyone was assigned a specific role within the family: "Without advance agreement, siblings are assigned a role that can brand one for life. Show a tendency in one direction, and that becomes who you have to be all the time [...] It can take a lifetime to escape the narrow boundaries of a fixed family identity" (20). Maggie's illness gave Liz, but also gave all four of the sisters, a chance to reconnect and explore those old hurts. In the process of trying to physically connect with her sister through the bone marrow transplant, Liz attempts to spiritually and emotionally connect with her beyond the hurts and resentments built up over a lifetime. Although I liked many of the principles that the author uses to guide her life and her approach to the relationships in her life, the focus on what she refers to as "woo-woo voodoo" (184) struck me as cheesy pseudo scientific talk and was hard to buy into. For example, Lesser goes into therapy with her sister in advance of the bone marrow transplant because she wonders if healing old wounds "can affect her body's willingness to accept" the cells (75). I didn't buy into the excessive talk about the value of meditation in order to "relax into the paradoxical, ambiguous, wide-open, unregulated, infinite consciousness that some call God and others do not name at all" (267). Other talk I had trouble swallowing was her own definition of ADD or "authenticity deficit disorder" that she argues holds many people back from living fully. In many ways, this book reads as a self-help book, or a lecture from the author on living your best life, rather than a meditation on her own life to provide an example to her reader. Although I could not connect with the author over her meditation/chakra/"soul marrow transplant" talk, I did identify with her attempt to connect and heal her relationship with her sister, but also the way she interacts with everyone in her life. I was surprised that her other two sisters figured so little into the story, but the ending of this memoir seems to indicate a deeper level of forgiveness and understanding with them as well. Lesser is clearly a person of deep personal self-reflection and a desire to constantly push herself to a better version of herself.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Angelique Simonsen

    I don't really have the words to describe how I feel about this book. just beautiful and so many things I will take from this I don't really have the words to describe how I feel about this book. just beautiful and so many things I will take from this

  4. 5 out of 5

    Rebecca

    When they were in middle age and Lesser’s younger sister Maggie had a recurrence of her lymphoma, the author was identified as a perfect match to donate bone marrow. She charts the ups and downs of Maggie’s treatment but also goes deep into their family history: parents who rejected the supernatural in reaction to her mother’s Christian Science upbringing; a quartet of sisters who competed for love and attention; and different approaches to life – Maggie was a back-to-the-land Vermont farmer, nu When they were in middle age and Lesser’s younger sister Maggie had a recurrence of her lymphoma, the author was identified as a perfect match to donate bone marrow. She charts the ups and downs of Maggie’s treatment but also goes deep into their family history: parents who rejected the supernatural in reaction to her mother’s Christian Science upbringing; a quartet of sisters who competed for love and attention; and different approaches to life – Maggie was a back-to-the-land Vermont farmer, nurse and botanical artist, while Elizabeth had bucked the trend by moving to New York City and exploring spirituality (she co-founded the Omega Institute, a holistic retreat center). By including unedited “field notes” Maggie wrote periodically, Lesser recreates the drama and heartache of the cancer journey. She also muses a lot about attempts to repair family relationships through honest conversations and therapy. “Marrow” is not just a literal substance but also a metaphor for getting to the heart of what matters in life. I expect this memoir will be too New Age-y for many readers, but I appreciated its insights and the close sister bonds. I also loved the deckle edge and Maggie’s botanical prints on the endpapers. Recommended to fans of Elizabeth Gilbert and Anne Lamott. Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck.

  5. 4 out of 5

    Rissa

    Marrow ⭐️ Maggie has cancer. But the moment she is cancer free she needs bone marrow. Her sisters bone marrow to be precise. This is a deep love story between sisters and giving everything for one another. I really enjoyed this but it was sad to read. Losing a sister to whom you share a bond with marrow with realising everything you did just wasnt enough. I cant even imagine.

  6. 4 out of 5

    Lynn Dickerson

    Love story between sisters. Honest, authentic look at family dynamics and the journey alongside one sister who is dying. Elizabeth Lesser is a great writer and this memoir was touching, funny, sad and inspirational.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Sharon Bright

    Sometimes I felt like I was reading my own thoughts but through the story of sisters racing against time to love each other and to love themselves. An inspiring memoir.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Kari

    I was really intrigued by the synopsis for this book and decided to try it out. I found Marrow to be both a mix of self-help and memoir. But at its heart it is a beautiful tribute to the author's sister and their relationship. It's always hard to critique someone's writings of their personal experience, though. In the end I loved parts and didn't like others. My favorite parts of the book were the snippets from Maggie's journal and writings. The peek into her thoughts were compelling and I would I was really intrigued by the synopsis for this book and decided to try it out. I found Marrow to be both a mix of self-help and memoir. But at its heart it is a beautiful tribute to the author's sister and their relationship. It's always hard to critique someone's writings of their personal experience, though. In the end I loved parts and didn't like others. My favorite parts of the book were the snippets from Maggie's journal and writings. The peek into her thoughts were compelling and I would have loved to read more. The parts of the book that I tended to skim over were when the book started to feel like a self-help book. Those kind of dragged for me. But, then I'm not really into self help. Of course, this is a hard book to read. Not "hard" as in big words or understanding. Hard as in heartbreaking and bittersweet. Having lost a friend to cancer, I found the book hit close to home. At the same time, it brought up fond memories of my friend and made me glad I got to say goodbye in the end. I would recommend this book to anyone really. Any reader can find something to connect with in this journey between two sisters. I am glad that the author shared their story with the world.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Elisabeth Manley

    This was not at all the book I thought I signed up for. I was expecting a fiction about sister love and cancer. False, I did not read the cover too thoroughly I guess. This was a self help book framed around two sisters and their experience when one of them had cancer and the other, the author, donated her bone marrow to her. The self help style and language just is not my thing. I should have turned it into a drinking game the number of times "marrow of the soul" came up. I started skimming thr This was not at all the book I thought I signed up for. I was expecting a fiction about sister love and cancer. False, I did not read the cover too thoroughly I guess. This was a self help book framed around two sisters and their experience when one of them had cancer and the other, the author, donated her bone marrow to her. The self help style and language just is not my thing. I should have turned it into a drinking game the number of times "marrow of the soul" came up. I started skimming through or skipping chapters that were purely self help slash Greek mythology quotes and read only the chapters related to Maggie and Liz and their experience. I did appreciate the chapters about their therapist sessions where they learned to listen to eachother and forgive the past. But I wasn't buying into the "soul transplant" thing going on. Overall, I liked reading about the four sisters and growing up and could appreciate the lessons in communication and acceptance; but not enough to warrant the repetitive mantra and endless quotations through this book.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Meg

    Tears tears tears

  11. 5 out of 5

    Cindy Roesel

    MARROW: A Love Story (HARPER WAVE Books) by Elizabeth Lesser is a mesmerizing and courageous memoir: the story of two sisters uncovering the depth of their love through the life-and-death experience of a bone marrow transplant. Throughout her life, Elizabeth Lesser has sought understanding about what it means to be true to oneself and, at the same time, truly connected to the ones we love. But when her sister Maggie needs a bone marrow transplant to save her life, and Lesser learns she is a perf MARROW: A Love Story (HARPER WAVE Books) by Elizabeth Lesser is a mesmerizing and courageous memoir: the story of two sisters uncovering the depth of their love through the life-and-death experience of a bone marrow transplant. Throughout her life, Elizabeth Lesser has sought understanding about what it means to be true to oneself and, at the same time, truly connected to the ones we love. But when her sister Maggie needs a bone marrow transplant to save her life, and Lesser learns she is a perfect match, she faces a far more complex question about what it really means to love. Hoping to give Maggie the best chance for a successful transplant, the sisters dig deep into the marrow of their relationship to clear a path to unconditional acceptance. They leave the bone marrow transplant up to the doctors, but take on what Lesser calls a “soul marrow transplant,” examining their family history, having difficult conversations, examining the past, digging up old assumptions and finally and offering each other forgiveness until all that is left is exposed true love the other. It Takes Courage to Love Well. The takeaway for me after reading MARROW: A Love Story is, life is precious, over, gone, lights out, entirely too quick. We’re here on this earth for a short time and blessed to have people come in and out of our lives during our limited journey. Some may be family members, others friends and acquaintances. But our short time with each one must be embraced. This memoir was a wake-up call for me to stop and value the people near and dear; to stop talking around one another and speak to each other’s hearts. May time for a cup of coffee or an afternoon to get a bite. Love may take courage, but it really shouldn’t be difficult.

  12. 5 out of 5

    Darth Vix

    I received this book for review from HarperCollins and TLC Book Tours. Marrow is a memoir about the author’s journey with her sister as her sister battles cancer. It is the story of love between sisters through an experience that is painful and brutal but that also brings them together in ways they never anticipated. I always catch myself being surprised at how much I loved a memoir after I read it. I think I need to just come to terms with the fact that memoirs are one of my favorite genres to r I received this book for review from HarperCollins and TLC Book Tours. Marrow is a memoir about the author’s journey with her sister as her sister battles cancer. It is the story of love between sisters through an experience that is painful and brutal but that also brings them together in ways they never anticipated. I always catch myself being surprised at how much I loved a memoir after I read it. I think I need to just come to terms with the fact that memoirs are one of my favorite genres to read. Especially when a memoir is written a certain way and teaches me something about life. Those are the best kinds of memoirs and books to read in general. Marrow is exactly such a book. When I read the description of Marrow, I knew immediately that I wanted to read it. I am the youngest of three sisters and since this book is described as a love story between sisters, that pulled a little at my heartstrings. This book is indeed a love story and it is a beautiful one. It’s written in this special way that I love memoirs to be written: raw, honest and deeply personal. Scattered throughout the chapters are also snippets from the authors sisters journal that chronicle her inner thoughts throughout her battle with cancer and the deepening of her relationship with her sister. It definitely made me think differently about a few things in life including my relationships , spirituality and it made me want to hug my sisters and never let them go. It was affecting and inspiring, sad and beautiful. It was truly an honor to read this book. If you love a great memoir read or have sisters, I highly recommend giving this book a read. Five stars!

  13. 4 out of 5

    Jo-Ann

    Lovely book about two sisters, family, the soul and so much more. Highly recommend it.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Rhonda

    This book was not what I was expecting. I was hoping for a story about two sisters but instead it was a lost of self reflection for the author. To be honest, I skimmed some sections as I wanted to be done.

  15. 4 out of 5

    Lisa Filipczak

    This was an exceptional and incredible book that will stay with me for a long time. It may be due to the deep love, affection and friendship that I have with my sisters. And it may be due to what I consider the perfect amount of spirituality in the content, concepts that make one ponder about life’s true meaning and messages. This was profoundly moving to me. “To develop kind regard for oneself can become an act of kindness for the world if we turn the light outward as well as inward." "And isn’t This was an exceptional and incredible book that will stay with me for a long time. It may be due to the deep love, affection and friendship that I have with my sisters. And it may be due to what I consider the perfect amount of spirituality in the content, concepts that make one ponder about life’s true meaning and messages. This was profoundly moving to me. “To develop kind regard for oneself can become an act of kindness for the world if we turn the light outward as well as inward." "And isn’t this what all of us must do? Give ourselves to the other, even though we know one day we must part? Give ourselves to this life, even though we know it will end? This is the paradox at the heart of being human. Nothing stays the same; everything will change. And yet the love we long to feel, and the love we were born to give, can only be ours if we abandon ourselves to each moment, each breath, each other. If we wait for the perfect time, the perfect person, the perfected self, we will stay frozen in an idea of love. But if we fearlessly engage with the life spread out before us, we will be rewarded with a heart that can hold it all - happiness and messiness, clarity and confusion, love and loss.” Eckhart Tolle also says, "Any action is often better than no action...If it is a mistake, at least you learn something, in which case it is no longer a mistake." "Researchers at the National Science Foundation report that the human brain processes 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day and that a large percentage of those thoughts are negative and repetitive...They are finding that if you can interrupt the stream of repetitious thoughts in your head, you are less likely to contract illness - from a cold to cancer - and more likely to increase levels of concentration, calmness and happiness.”

  16. 4 out of 5

    Kelsey Mech

    While I didn't cognitively love how this book was structured - it felt like an odd combination between memoir and self-help to me - my emotions loved it, especially the last hundred pages. First on the odd combo piece: while the majority was memoir with self-help type stuff woven through, which normally I am fine with, there were a couple of chapters that seemed out of place, like one entire chapter on meditation with little of the overarching story weaving through it. That threw me off a bit. I While I didn't cognitively love how this book was structured - it felt like an odd combination between memoir and self-help to me - my emotions loved it, especially the last hundred pages. First on the odd combo piece: while the majority was memoir with self-help type stuff woven through, which normally I am fine with, there were a couple of chapters that seemed out of place, like one entire chapter on meditation with little of the overarching story weaving through it. That threw me off a bit. I love self-help. And I love memoir. But the threads between the two weren't seamless in this one for me. However, it tugged at my heart strings. I felt a stirring in my heart more than once, and that counts for a lot. Also there were lots of little golden tidbits here, and a solid reminder that LOVE IS EVERYTHING.

  17. 5 out of 5

    Kimberly Q

    Felt like this story had potential but wished I had stopped reading when I first lost interest. I wanted to see the sisters story of her struggle with cancer through as those were the best parts but they were few and far between. It felt like the author centered her own story too prominently and was using her sisters battle with cancer as an excuse to ramble about all of her philosophical beliefs and while she had a huge role for in her sisters life it just felt too self centered. There was also Felt like this story had potential but wished I had stopped reading when I first lost interest. I wanted to see the sisters story of her struggle with cancer through as those were the best parts but they were few and far between. It felt like the author centered her own story too prominently and was using her sisters battle with cancer as an excuse to ramble about all of her philosophical beliefs and while she had a huge role for in her sisters life it just felt too self centered. There was also a weird body shaming comment about a passing stranger that was completely unnecessary to the story that threw me off even more close to the end.

  18. 4 out of 5

    Alina Switaj

    This book was such a lovely telling of childhood bonds, growing up in adulthood and love!

  19. 5 out of 5

    April

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I love books like this, that help my soul find respites and revelations and comfort in this life. Having gone through a traumatic health emergency myself, I related to the inner work that you feel compelled to do in order to adjust back to living life "like a normal" person. But you're not the same person as you were before the trauma happened. You discover more about yourself and about how you fit into life, what used to work for you likely no longer does, in terms of unhealthy patterns and tho I love books like this, that help my soul find respites and revelations and comfort in this life. Having gone through a traumatic health emergency myself, I related to the inner work that you feel compelled to do in order to adjust back to living life "like a normal" person. But you're not the same person as you were before the trauma happened. You discover more about yourself and about how you fit into life, what used to work for you likely no longer does, in terms of unhealthy patterns and thoughts and feelings. You learn how precious you are and to put in place and embrace boundaries to keep you well. You live "you" authentically. Trauma and tragedy can bring you closer to love, if you choose to go deeper. This is a very different way of life than you're used to. But it is the best way possible for you forward now. And it happens slowly, you learn gradually, you make mistakes again and again, but that is part of the learning process. You learn to listen to your body as the highest keeper of your good. You learn to honor what your body needs. No more disrespecting it. And you learn that death is always a possibility, but you accept it and live your life knowing it's ahead of you at some point. Every day is a gift, gratitude reigns supreme. Love is at the center, the heart center. And you thank your body each day for the miracle that it is. "This book is a love story. It is primarily about the love between two sisters, but it is also about the kindness you must give to yourself if you are to truly love another. Love of self, love of other: two strands in the love braid. I have braided these strands together in all sorts of relationships, in varying degrees of grace and ineptitude. I've messed up in both directions: being self-centered, being a martyr; not knowing my own worth, not valuing the essential worth of the other. To love well is to get the balance right. It's the work of a lifetime. It's art. It's what this book is about." pg. 3 "There is no ten-ways-to-get-it-right list when it comes to love. No exact formulas for when to be vulnerable and when to be strong, when to wait and when to pursue, when to relent and when to be a relentless love warrior. Rather, love is a mess, love is a dance, love is a miracle. Love is also stronger than death, but I'm only learning that now." pg. 3 "Nietzsche described amor fati as the ability not to merely bear our fate but to love it. That's a tall order. To be human is to have the kind of fate that doles out all sorts of wondrous and horrible things. No one gets through life without big doses of confusion and angst, pain and loss. What's to love about that? And yet if you say yes to amor fati, if you practice loving the fullness of your fate, if you pick up the third strand of the love braid, you will thread ribbons of faith and gratitude and meaning through your life. Some will reject the idea of loving your fate as capitulation or naivete; I say it's the way to wisdom and the key to love." pg. 4 "She was an avid reader, but her taste did not include anything that smacked of self-help. She liked novels or nonfiction books about beekeeping and bread baking. Then my mother died and Maggie left her marriage, and there's nothing like trauma to change one's reading habits." pg. 39 "This is what happens when you put your soul in charge of your life. You dare to claim the sky. That sky is different for everyone. For one person, maybe the sky is having a baby, being a parent, growing a family. But for another it's never having kids; it's traveling the globe; it's saving the world. Your sky might be leaving a job, whereas another's might be fighting for it. Your claim to the sky could be an act of surrender--that moment when you finally learn how to love another. Or your claim to the sky might be when you finally learn how to love yourself; when you walk away from a relationship that demeans the soul, and you lay claim to your freedom. You know your sky. And if you don't, it's because you haven't listened closely enough. You are arguing with your soul instead of putting it in charge of your life." pg. 42 "Sitting on a long bench in the boat, alone except for the driver, who is sleeping in his captain's seat, I think about hidden things. Hidden life under the sea, under the ground, under the skin. The buried marrow in my bones and the secret stories in my heart. What are we supposed to see and hear, show and tell? Are things hidden for our own good, or is the human journey about going into the shadows and searching for the deeper truths about ourselves and each other, about life itself?" pg. 59 "I promised the women they would be less likely to need drugs or other interventions if they could visualize the uterus and understand the mechanics of the cervix--that little muscle that must stretch from a clenched fist to the size of their baby's head. If you fight the pain, if you resist the contractions, you cause even more pain. I told them that labor is like life and life is like labor: sometimes the most painful experiences deliver the best things--new life, unexpected insight, the chance to stretch and grow. This was the greatest lesson I learned in my years of delivering babies: don't strain against pain; learn its purpose; work with it and the energy of the universe will assist you." pg. 60 "For now, I ignore the parts of the information sheets that describe the painful side effects and potential risks of the procedure, and focus on the more miraculous aspects of marrow and cells and blood. I am becoming a devotee of blood. I feel like a vampire, but a nerdy one." pg. 72 "It was the Bard's ironic way of saying that, while the key to life is authenticity, most of us pay lip service to the idea, never really biting into the gold kernel of truth at the core of the self. Never really having the support, the know-how, the guts to mine the gold and live the gold and give the gold. That's the tragedy at the heart of Hamlet. And it's a tragedy in all of our lives until we summon the courage to dig deep, to say our truth, to be our truth." pg. 88 "'To thine own self be true,' we're told throughout our lives--when faced with decisions big and small, when wondering about whom to love or where to live or what to do with our talents and dreams. How do I grasp my purpose? How do I live a meaningful life? How can I make a difference in the lives of others? 'Just be yourself.' You have heard this. You think it's true. Or at least you want it to be true--this idea of having and following an authentic self. . . All you know is that it's painful being separated from your one true self. And so you keep searching, sometimes effectively and sometimes like a fool, like a zealot, like a lost soul." pg. 89 "To them [the Greeks], your daimon--your spirit guide--lived within you. You were born with it; you came into this world with your daimon embedded in the body, like the grand oak already present in the acorn--a kind of spiritual DNA that already knows who it is, what it should do, how it should live. Greek philosophers spoke of the responsibility to put the daimon in charge of your life. If you didn't--if you tried to live someone else's life, if you covered your light, if you squandered your purpose--you would deny others the fullness of your gifts." pg. 94 "Those in touch with their authenticity share similar traits. They are gentle and strong in equal measure. They are not overly concerned about what others think of them, and yet they are greatly concerned about the well-being of others. They are so in touch with themselves that they are open toward everyone. They have tasted the sweetness and the bitterness of their life and declared it all good; they want you to taste your own life too. They don't want your allegiance; they want your liberation. They won't come after you; you must seek them out. And when your work with them is done, they will give you wings to fly away." pg. 96-97 "It showed me that no one is living the exact life you think they are, so if you compare your life to another person's, you're usually comparing it to a fantasy of your own making. Seeing the imperfect humanness of my teachers side by side with their genius has helped me stop expecting perfection of myself. My close encounters with the wise ones have helped me relax and lighten up. I've let go of the goal of perfection and taken up the goal of authenticity." pg. 101 "In all of these settings--East and West, North and South, sacred and secular, ancient and current--the best of the philosophers and witch doctors and shrinks have always been what shamanic cultures call 'wounded healers.' Wounded healers are comfortable with people in dark and troubled places because they too have been there and have found their way out. They may not have perfected the human experience, and they may be a little strange from frequent sojourns into the underworld, but they do have eyes that can see in the dark, and faith in the return of the light." pg. 124 "My mind knows that the bone marrow transplant may not work, that the cancer may come back, that Maggie may die sooner rather than later, but my heart and bones have other ideas. They are attached to the outcome with a fierceness I have only felt before as a mother." pg. 144-145 "And isn't this what all of us must do? Give ourselves to each other, even though we know one day we must part? Give ourselves to this life, even though we know it will end? This is the paradox at the heart of being human. Nothing stays the same; everything will change. And yet the love we long to feel, and the love we were born to give, can only be ours if we abandon ourselves to each moment, each breath, each other. If we wait for the perfect time, the perfect person, the perfected self, we'll stay frozen in an idea of love. But if we fearlessly engage with the life spread out before us, we will be rewarded with a heart that can hold it all--happiness and messiness, clarity and confusion, love and loss." pg. 145 "I think of how we go about our daily life, unaware of the dazzling feats occurring right beneath the skin. Will I remember this when the drama of the transplant is over? Will I remember to be awestruck by the human body, by the beautifully choreographed dance of the stem cells in the marrow of the bones? I inhale, and my lungs fill with air. The lungs filter out oxygen and send it to my heart. My heart pumps oxygenated blood to every part of my body. I exhale, and what my body cannot use is sent back into the atmosphere. Who thought this miracle up?" pg. 148 "An honorable human relationship--that is, one in which two people have the right to use the word 'love'--is a process, delicate, violent, often terrifying to both persons involved, a process of refining the truths they can tell each other. It is important to do this because it breaks down human self-delusion and isolation. It is important to do this because in doing so we do justice to our own complexcity. It is important to do this because we can count on so few people to go that hard way with us." pg. 153, excerpted from Adrienne Rich "You can ask yourself, does this person have enough love of himself to know how to love me? Does he suffer from excessively low self-esteem or narcissistic self-regard (two sides of the same coin) to be able to really see me for who I am beyond the roles, the wounds, the past? Will this person be patient enough to hear me out, brave enough to confront me, and game enough to travel with me to the field beyond wrongdoing and rightdoing? Has she demonstrated that kind of self-awareness in other relationships and situations? If the answer is no, then be careful. He or she may be a naked person offering you a shirt. A person cannot give you what he doesn't have." pg. 156-157 "Another heart you must investigate is your very own; you must test your own trustworthiness. Sometimes we think we're more genuine in our motivation than we really are. Sometimes we're manipulating others as opposed to truly wanting to grow a new kind of relationship. . . Am I ready to do this? Do I really plan to take responsibility for my side of the story? Or am I pushing an agenda? Am I too hurt, too impatient, too needy, too reactive, too confused to listen well and speak the truth? If so, then it's better to say nothing, to wait, to do my own inner work before inviting this kind of exchange with someone else." pg. 157 "She said, 'Give from your strength, and give to your sister's strength. Don't be the big sister helping the little sister. Don't be the strong one helping the weak one. Don't be the fortunate one helping the victim. Give from your strength to her strength. Strength to strength.'" pg. 172 "He [Deepak Chopra] quotes Sir Arthur Eddington, the renowned British physicist, who said, 'Something unknown is doing we don't know what.' Handing over the reins to that unknown something is the best thing I can do, Deepak Chopra writes." pg. 186 "When we know and love ourselves, down to the marrow of our bones, and when we know our oneness with each other, down to the marrow of our souls, then love becomes less of an idea and more of the only sane way to proceed. We are one, we are many, and love is the bridge." pg. 200 "Here are mine [mindfulness instructions]: We are made from the past, and for the future. Both are embedded in the present moment. Without the pain and sweetness of what came before, and the enticing lure and heart-pounding fear of what comes next, we cannot celebrate the fullness of the living moment." pg. 211 "We are remothering each other. In my constant (and sometimes obsessive) care of her, I am rewriting how we were raised. I am giving her the kind of attention we rarely, if ever, received. The kind that says through constancy and presence, 'You are my precious, cherished, worthy girl. I will put you first. I will do this because you are my girl, because you belong to me, we belong to each other, and you belong here on earth with us. And as long as you are here, you deserve to be seen and tended to.' That's not the message--expressed or implied--that we received from our parents. They loved us, but they did so without much fanfare or tenderness. They felt it their duty to give us a moral compass, and then we were on our own to go forth as good citizens of the world. Demonstrations of love, acknowledgement of one's unique character, guidance and solace ater falls and traumas--these were for other people. These were Hallmark Card coping strategies for the weak and the silly." pg. 223 "'Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love.' I was being pulled by the strength of unconditional love. I knew that pull; it was the force I felt when I first laid eyes on my babies. It was primal. It was the response a mother has to a child's cry. It was the response we each long for as children--to be seen by our parents for who we are; to be loved, just because of who we are; to be cared for not because we have done something right but because we are here, we matter, we belong." pg. 224 "Now would be the time to say I am sorry for trying every which way to feel loved and valued, respected and taken seriously, instead of the one way that works the best: telling my truth and asking for what I need." pg. 233 "How many wounded relationships in our wounded world could be healed if people would only risk being vulnerable and honest? And hurt and angry too, but angry in a way that leads to positive resolution. This is possible. It's difficult, it's risky, but it's possible. And the opposite has a terrible track record." pg. 244 "The opposite of violence is not a world without anger, not a world without conflict. In fact the fear of conflict often leads to violence. It leads to unexplored assumptions, dishonesty, and backstabbing. Nonviolence is the ability to be in honest, patient conflict with another person, to hold each other's flaws up to the light, to talk it all the way through and to discover that, although none of us is perfect, still we can be each other's perfect match. This is the 'human love' that Anais Nin speaks of. This is what happens when we stop taking things personally, when we stop making assumptions, and when we are impeccable with our word." pg. 244 "Surrender. Feel the grace of what was, what is, and what will be." pg. 249 "They don't need you to perform for them so they know how good you are. They need you to love them so they know how good they are." pg. 270 "His eyes search my face, as if he's saying, 'Please see me. Please see who I was before I got sick, before my brain went haywire, before I ended up here. I'm still that person; I just don't have the right words and thoughts to dress him up, to make him presentable. But please see him; please respect him; please love him.'" pg. 272 "But I'll remember what I learned (for the umpteenth time) at the Brain Trauma Center: that we are souls who have met for a purpose on this mysterious journey; that each of us is here for the other, and all that is required is to strip down to the marrow and to be present. To look into each other's eyes and to search beyond the identity of victim and helper, sick one and well one, weak one and strong one--to look deeper and to find the dignified soul of each being, and to stand in solidarity as a fellow human who is striving to be free." pg. 273 "She has just wanted my presence--my strength to her strength--and the sense that our being together is a gift for both of us." pg. 273 "We hovered like mother hens--her daughters who had never been clucked over. We touched her, talked to her, and loved her with a passion we had never before been allowed to express." pg. 279 "Deep within the heart of the earth and the marrow of the bones is a compass that quivers to the power of love. I doubt the scientific community is going to back me up on this, but that grand unifying force that Einstein went to his grave still searching for? I believe it is love in its many forms: kindness, passion, connection, empathy, generosity, forgiveness, and the guts to tell the truth. Love is a force--an adhesive force." pg. 306 Book: borrowed from SSF Main Library.

  20. 4 out of 5

    Holli

    Such a powerful and profound book. The kind you want to take notes from. The kind that contains so much wisdom that you wish you could absorb it into your own marrow and carry it with you everywhere. The kind of book to read again and again. Deep within the heart of the earth and the marrow of the bones is a compass that quivers to the power of love. I doubt the scientific community is going to back me up on this, but that grand unifying force that Einstein went to his grave still searching for? Such a powerful and profound book. The kind you want to take notes from. The kind that contains so much wisdom that you wish you could absorb it into your own marrow and carry it with you everywhere. The kind of book to read again and again. Deep within the heart of the earth and the marrow of the bones is a compass that quivers to the power of love. I doubt the scientific community is going to back me up on this, but that grand unifying force that Einstein went to his grave still searching for? I believe it is love in its many forms: kindness, passion, connection, empathy, generosity, forgiveness, and the guts to tell the truth. Love is a force--an adhesive force. What keeps buildings and forests, rocks and oceans from flying off the planet and spinning into space? What keeps the elements that make up people and animals from ungluing? A physicist would use mathematical equations to prove to you that gravity and electromagnetism hold the universe in place. But what came before them? What came first? Love. Love came first.

  21. 5 out of 5

    Cynthia Shannon

    I'm not typically a fan of self-help books but this one came recommended to me by a friend so I felt obligated to read it. It has some good nuggets of wisdom that I should have probably highlighted, but I got a little tired of hearing about getting to the marrow of this and the marrow of that. The book didn't know if it wanted to be a self-help book or an account of the author's story with her sick sister and I was honestly more interested in how that played out, and wish there had been more of I'm not typically a fan of self-help books but this one came recommended to me by a friend so I felt obligated to read it. It has some good nuggets of wisdom that I should have probably highlighted, but I got a little tired of hearing about getting to the marrow of this and the marrow of that. The book didn't know if it wanted to be a self-help book or an account of the author's story with her sick sister and I was honestly more interested in how that played out, and wish there had been more of it. The book did inspire me to call my own sister though instead of just shaking my head in disapproval at her twerking videos on Snapchat. Kids these days!

  22. 4 out of 5

    Kelly Curran

    This book caught my interest because I am a blood cancer survivor who thankfully was able to avoid a bone marrow/stem cell transplant on my road to remission. The experience for every cancer patient is so similar. This is is a beautiful story of the relationship between two sisters, one dying of cancer and one donating her marrow. I truly enjoyed reading about their relationship, how they went to therapy before transplant, how they found the meaning of a life well lived. Unfortunately for me, tha This book caught my interest because I am a blood cancer survivor who thankfully was able to avoid a bone marrow/stem cell transplant on my road to remission. The experience for every cancer patient is so similar. This is is a beautiful story of the relationship between two sisters, one dying of cancer and one donating her marrow. I truly enjoyed reading about their relationship, how they went to therapy before transplant, how they found the meaning of a life well lived. Unfortunately for me, that beautiful story was often interrupted with rogue chapters discussing the author's personal philosophies.

  23. 5 out of 5

    Andi Caissie

    not what I expected I thought this was a book about two sisters going through a bone marrow transplant. Instead, that was a minor part of the story. Most of the book was a bunch of babbling about meditation and spirituality.

  24. 4 out of 5

    Jean

    A combination self help/memoir with some quotable quotes and poignant moments but a bit too schmaltzy for me. Go ahead...you won't be the first one who's told me that , " People think you're cold ." A combination self help/memoir with some quotable quotes and poignant moments but a bit too schmaltzy for me. Go ahead...you won't be the first one who's told me that , " People think you're cold ."

  25. 5 out of 5

    Kate

    I enjoyed this book, there were some challenging bits for me but over all I loved Lesser's language and ability to capture the paradox and duality of love, love of self and others. As well as the paradox of life, death and finding meaning in that which is the reality of our messy lives. Throughout the telling of her and her sisters experience of cancer, a bone marrow transplant, councelling related to this and the ultimate death of her sister Maggie. I found myself listening to the words and ref I enjoyed this book, there were some challenging bits for me but over all I loved Lesser's language and ability to capture the paradox and duality of love, love of self and others. As well as the paradox of life, death and finding meaning in that which is the reality of our messy lives. Throughout the telling of her and her sisters experience of cancer, a bone marrow transplant, councelling related to this and the ultimate death of her sister Maggie. I found myself listening to the words and reflecting on my own relationships with my sisters, brothers, husband, children and self all at the same time as hearing their story. This meant there were times when the story created a real swelling in my chest and a sense of yeah you are so right and then at other times her wohoo and deep sprituality would have the evidence based scientist in me rebelling. As I sit back and review the book as a completed entity it was the process of rebelling against the wohoo that gave me a greater understanding of where I sit across this wide and varied spectrum rather than the agreement. This may also have something to do with the equally interesting book previously finished. Jonathon Haidt's book "The Righteous Mind, why good people are divided by politics and religion. In combo these two books have created a shift in my understanding of self care - kind of important because its how I make my living, teaching self care. So being able to define that it is a process that involves two sides of a coin, you cannot have one with out the other, was a pleasant surprise. I was already aware that to care for ones self paradoxically provides care for the others in your life, but not that they were fused and in tandem. I had assumed you could step out of making that choice, apparently not. Other authors have demonstrated clearly through both qualitative and quantitative research that our connectedness is vital for over all health and longevity, so by nurturing ourselves with what we need to be our best selves in fact nurtures those close to us in our lives.. I especially enjoyed the different voices of Elizabeth and Maggie (field notes). At one stage Lesser commented that she felt people die as they live and interestingly I had not thought specifically that, although I have frequently said as much about my parents deaths, more so my mothers than my fathers. So thinking about others in my life who I have been close to in their passing and hearing Sally Field speak this truth out loud I agree, again another subtle shift. Strangely this revelation has given me some peace, peace because after many hours of reading, digging and work related to my masters I have discovered some of the similar things Elizabeth has. Mindfully living a life according to considered values and looking at what happens when these are in conflict creates deeper connection. The writing of how Maggie found her way to this prior to dying was insightful and the true essence of the book. Many thanks Elizabeth Lesser I have much gratitude and thanks. I listened to this as an audio book, but will definitely need to purchase it as a paperback for future reference.

  26. 5 out of 5

    Kelly Salasin

    I challenged myself to this book in a period of alienation as "sister," sensing reading it might help probe some of the underlying fractures of bond and beloved. I originally learned of the book before it was a book when Lesser read from her draft during Family Week at Omega (accompanied by her friend and ever-surprising musician David Wilcox), and I was touched by her courage and vulnerability so soon after such a deep loss. Two years later I ordered the book and in reading I was surprised to d I challenged myself to this book in a period of alienation as "sister," sensing reading it might help probe some of the underlying fractures of bond and beloved. I originally learned of the book before it was a book when Lesser read from her draft during Family Week at Omega (accompanied by her friend and ever-surprising musician David Wilcox), and I was touched by her courage and vulnerability so soon after such a deep loss. Two years later I ordered the book and in reading I was surprised to discover that I not only knew of her sister who died (she lived and worked in neighboring communities), but I intimately knew another of her sisters some time ago, and had just recently befriended the photographer of her sister's well known botanical prints which were shown at a neighbor's studio. (Vermont is an exceedingly small state.) While reading, I was acutely aware of the way memoir, unlike other art forms, necessarily weaves the stories of others into the one being shaped by the author. "You didn't ask to be related to a memoirist," Lesser writes in her closing acknowledgments. As a memoirist myself, albeit an unpublished one, this aspect of the book became the most prominent for me as I continue to deepen into the calling of the art memoir and authentic living alongside the pull of relationship. What I hadn't known when the book arrived and wouldn't know for another six months, is that a sister of mine had just died. Alas, she was born before me and given up for adoption so the threads of our connection were faint even while I always held out hope for something more. I read slowly through Marrow, one chapter at a sitting, often lying in bed beside my husband with one of us reading aloud, until this past month, toward the end of the book, when I began reading at a clip, copying down passages and sharing them with my siblings. In the very last chapter, I broke up the reading (ie. my tears) with google searches to place faces and dates, and I discovered that even my family members had shared and commented on the story of Maggie's life before Lesser wrote Marrow. Which is to say, I was a distracted reader of this generous offering and I very much look forward to hearing how it lands in the hearts of others, particularly one of my younger siblings to whom I hope to pass this on while 8 of us remain. Though I have just closed the book this morning, one of the takeaways that I already sense is that I want to see my siblings and all my loved ones (and all beings) in the fullness of their humanity and expression rather than in my particular, warped--by love and loss and fear--narrowed lens.

  27. 5 out of 5

    Diana Raab

    This book affected me on many levels, personal, spiritual and intellectual. Firstly, for the past ten years, I've had and incurable form of smoldering bone marrow cancer, I have two daughters, and it is an ode to love and caring and lessons in sibling harmony. It's a love story about two sisters, who were who get close out of necessity. Maggie has cancer, so author Elizabeth Lesser donates her bone marrow to save her sister's life, forming a bond that transcends any bond they've ever had before. This book affected me on many levels, personal, spiritual and intellectual. Firstly, for the past ten years, I've had and incurable form of smoldering bone marrow cancer, I have two daughters, and it is an ode to love and caring and lessons in sibling harmony. It's a love story about two sisters, who were who get close out of necessity. Maggie has cancer, so author Elizabeth Lesser donates her bone marrow to save her sister's life, forming a bond that transcends any bond they've ever had before. Lesser says, "The life-and-death necessity of our situation gave us the courage to do what we could have done all along: to hold hands, take the plunge, and swim through the deep water to the other shore." The sisters made huge discoveries about themselves and each other, but their biggest discovery was, as Lesser says, (p. 143), "There is a field; it is made of love; it is our home. I'll meet you there," With both of their parents gone, the sisters find the treasure and strength in each other. Lesser, the co-founder of the Omega Institute, reveals many spiritual insights which she's come to understand during her journey, and also presents wisdoms from others, such as Thich Nat Hanh and Zen poets. A seeker herself, Lesser taps into the importance of finding our life purpose and the importance of facilitating change ourselves and in the world. Because of how compelling the story and the writing was, I read this book in one sitting. For the past ten years, I've had an incurable form of smoldering multiple myeloma (bone marrow cancer), and I also have two daughters, so I experienced a range of emotions-from laughter to tears to hope. This is a book that makes us realize what is truly important in life and how love and compassion are the pillars that support us on our journeys. I highly recommended this book for you, and also as a holiday gift!

  28. 4 out of 5

    Katrina Catten

    Marrow is a love story, about a deep memoir, self-help book. This love story goes through phases of some of the deepest challenges trialed through, yet through the most beautiful spiritual moments in life. This story is about the immense love carried between two sisters in the middle of a life-or-death situation, a bone marrow transplant. Elizabeth (the author) grew up in a family of four girls, with parents who were very liberal and anti-religious. As the Lesser girls grew up, their relationshi Marrow is a love story, about a deep memoir, self-help book. This love story goes through phases of some of the deepest challenges trialed through, yet through the most beautiful spiritual moments in life. This story is about the immense love carried between two sisters in the middle of a life-or-death situation, a bone marrow transplant. Elizabeth (the author) grew up in a family of four girls, with parents who were very liberal and anti-religious. As the Lesser girls grew up, their relationships kept spreading as years went by. When suddenly a situation arises in the Lesser family, it was the moment when it was all up to Elisabeth to make a change. She faces questions and trials about a far more immediate and complex question. What it really means to love... honestly, generously, and authentically. It was time for the two Lesser sisters to increase, remark, and become one another's true self. To release deep hidden secrets and fears, to grow with each other - to love - to truly love. I honestly, absolutely, loved this book! First off, the writing by Elizabeth Lesser is incredible. Such deliberate, metaphoric writing. Every detail and stories in the book is strung beautifully and executed as a symphony that rings to my ears. And the story itself - Wow! This marvelous story opened my eyes - opened my eyes completely, toward the world around me. Such a significance on a good moral well-being, and how to stand with life as a pleasure. I understand in ways how people wouldn't like this book. Whether it's religious or political afflictions or you just don't understand the book. This book is not meant to just be read, you need to dig deep, and really grasp all that's been written. It teaches so many deep resolutions to the world, how to stand and ways to live. It takes and open-minded selfless being to read this book. I definently recommend.

  29. 5 out of 5

    Mary Nelson

    Quick review. I chose to read this book in part because of its subject matter. Lesser, co-founder of the Omega Institute and author of two famous books (The Seeker's Guide and Broken Open), wrote a memoir about her sister's cancer and bone marrow transplant, for which Lesser was the "perfect match" donor. But it's more than that, of course, because Lesser has been studying spirituality for most of her adult life. Thus, it's also a treatise on what she's discovered on this journey, as well as how i Quick review. I chose to read this book in part because of its subject matter. Lesser, co-founder of the Omega Institute and author of two famous books (The Seeker's Guide and Broken Open), wrote a memoir about her sister's cancer and bone marrow transplant, for which Lesser was the "perfect match" donor. But it's more than that, of course, because Lesser has been studying spirituality for most of her adult life. Thus, it's also a treatise on what she's discovered on this journey, as well as how it impacted her as her sister's donor, friend, and guide. And that's the part I wasn't expecting. The entire book brings an amateur psychology and New Age spirituality to bear on her family relationships and dynamics. I enjoyed reading it. The spirituality component seemed superficial to an extent, lacking the depth it tried to claim; that comment seems unfair, since this is a memoir and describes Lesser's experiences and reflections on them, so let me just say that much of what she describes as insight has been presented in other books, by many priests, gurus and mystics, in greater depth, with much more resonance (for me at any rate). The marrow of her story, though--the flawed and vibrant relationships she had with her sister Maggie in particular and with other members of her family in general--felt very genuine, messy, and loving. Giving part of herself to save her sister, and the lengths she was willing to go to help the process succeed, made reading it worthwhile. Those were the best parts, quite memorable.

  30. 5 out of 5

    Kate

    Just finished Liz Lesser’s Memoir: “Marrow” This book touched me in so many ways. The fact that I have 2 sisters made much of it ring very true for me. It is a very quick read - or at least I couldn't seem to put it down! Liz Lesser tells the story of her younger sister, Maggie, getting a very bad cancer diagnosis and then needing a stem cell donor. Of her 3 sisters, Liz turns out to be a perfect match. Now not only are they up against great physical trauma, but also they yearn to reconcile all o Just finished Liz Lesser’s Memoir: “Marrow” This book touched me in so many ways. The fact that I have 2 sisters made much of it ring very true for me. It is a very quick read - or at least I couldn't seem to put it down! Liz Lesser tells the story of her younger sister, Maggie, getting a very bad cancer diagnosis and then needing a stem cell donor. Of her 3 sisters, Liz turns out to be a perfect match. Now not only are they up against great physical trauma, but also they yearn to reconcile all of the ways that they have put up defenses to really seeing and knowing each other. For me I was reminded of how much each of us competes and puts up defenses and falls into our role to secure our place in our family. How shame and feeling unworthy, (which every single one of us feels but to greater or lesser degrees), makes true connection impossible, and also make honest communication difficult which keeps us distant from one another. We misunderstand and judge each other and then don’t have real talk. “We carry around Bags of old stories and resentments and regrets”. Not to mention lots of pain. “It can take a lifetime to escape the narrow boundaries of a fixed family identity” We all long for unconditional love and we often think we will get it from our sisters, but rarely do. Liz and Maggie work very hard at feeling this love for one another while going through very traumatic cancer treatment and it is a beautiful story that goes deep.

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