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Excerpt from Hardware Store, a comedic novella by HIL-GLE.com’s Ajax Telegraph. *** It did not suck. The thing was flat out amazing. It was the single most profitable piece of equipment I have ever been in the presence of. It sold out five times before Christmas. Keith had entirely undersold the machine. It wasn’t a one hour photo, it was a one second photo. And it could ta Excerpt from Hardware Store, a comedic novella by HIL-GLE.com’s Ajax Telegraph. *** It did not suck. The thing was flat out amazing. It was the single most profitable piece of equipment I have ever been in the presence of. It sold out five times before Christmas. Keith had entirely undersold the machine. It wasn’t a one hour photo, it was a one second photo. And it could take anything: film, cassettes, floppy disks, CDs, data sticks, you name it. It even had slots for VCR tapes, including BetaMax. Not only that, but it could recover information from broken hard drives. Also undersold was the attraction of its advertising gimmick. It did not just take a picture and then drop it into a still shot from a movie, it put you in the movie. I have to admit it was a bit disconcerting the first time I saw myself kiss Dick Vandyke or the time I saw myself spinning in the middle of a field, my mouth opening and Julie Andrew’s voice coming out singing “The hills are alive with the sound of music!” The little movies played for about forty seconds. My clerks counted, and they said that it had ninety-three scenes stored in it: everything from Star Wars, to Citizen Kane to scenes from old TV shows. The scene selection was entirely random, as was the character your image was replacing. Ever had the gun shot out of your hand by the Lone Ranger? I have. Ever seen yourself skipping down the yellow brick road with Toto? I did. The thing drew a crowd, too. People hung out just to see it play. And it didn’t take any time to do it. It took a few pictures, made an organ grinding noise, flashed –and boom—you are in a movie. If it could dispense those movies, there certainly was a high demand for them. They would have made very nice stocking stuffer Christmas gifts.


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Excerpt from Hardware Store, a comedic novella by HIL-GLE.com’s Ajax Telegraph. *** It did not suck. The thing was flat out amazing. It was the single most profitable piece of equipment I have ever been in the presence of. It sold out five times before Christmas. Keith had entirely undersold the machine. It wasn’t a one hour photo, it was a one second photo. And it could ta Excerpt from Hardware Store, a comedic novella by HIL-GLE.com’s Ajax Telegraph. *** It did not suck. The thing was flat out amazing. It was the single most profitable piece of equipment I have ever been in the presence of. It sold out five times before Christmas. Keith had entirely undersold the machine. It wasn’t a one hour photo, it was a one second photo. And it could take anything: film, cassettes, floppy disks, CDs, data sticks, you name it. It even had slots for VCR tapes, including BetaMax. Not only that, but it could recover information from broken hard drives. Also undersold was the attraction of its advertising gimmick. It did not just take a picture and then drop it into a still shot from a movie, it put you in the movie. I have to admit it was a bit disconcerting the first time I saw myself kiss Dick Vandyke or the time I saw myself spinning in the middle of a field, my mouth opening and Julie Andrew’s voice coming out singing “The hills are alive with the sound of music!” The little movies played for about forty seconds. My clerks counted, and they said that it had ninety-three scenes stored in it: everything from Star Wars, to Citizen Kane to scenes from old TV shows. The scene selection was entirely random, as was the character your image was replacing. Ever had the gun shot out of your hand by the Lone Ranger? I have. Ever seen yourself skipping down the yellow brick road with Toto? I did. The thing drew a crowd, too. People hung out just to see it play. And it didn’t take any time to do it. It took a few pictures, made an organ grinding noise, flashed –and boom—you are in a movie. If it could dispense those movies, there certainly was a high demand for them. They would have made very nice stocking stuffer Christmas gifts.

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