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The sequel to Deep Thoughts, this collection of humorous meditations contains "inspirational" lunacy from the Saturday Night Live regular. The sequel to Deep Thoughts, this collection of humorous meditations contains "inspirational" lunacy from the Saturday Night Live regular.


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The sequel to Deep Thoughts, this collection of humorous meditations contains "inspirational" lunacy from the Saturday Night Live regular. The sequel to Deep Thoughts, this collection of humorous meditations contains "inspirational" lunacy from the Saturday Night Live regular.

30 review for Deeper Thoughts: All New, All Crispy

  1. 4 out of 5

    Jason

    2.5 stars rounded up to three. This is a book of quotes that were shared on Saturday Night Live in the early 90's which is one of the two periods when the show was actually worth watching. Other than that time and a couple of years in the late 70's, SNL sucks. The section during early 2000's ended up catapulting some really talented people into bigger careers, but even that period is just mediocre when compared to the other two, though I know of several people who disagree with that assessment. S 2.5 stars rounded up to three. This is a book of quotes that were shared on Saturday Night Live in the early 90's which is one of the two periods when the show was actually worth watching. Other than that time and a couple of years in the late 70's, SNL sucks. The section during early 2000's ended up catapulting some really talented people into bigger careers, but even that period is just mediocre when compared to the other two, though I know of several people who disagree with that assessment. Still, I gotta call it like I see it. The late 70's and early 90's shows were actually funny. All other eras are... ugh. I try to watch it once every year or two to see if it's gotten any better, and the last time was so agonizing that I couldn't make it through 20 minutes. It's too self-important, and it just isn't funny. At all. But when it was on point, it was frocking on point! I rarely missed an episode in the early 90's when I was in high school, and that's the time when Jack Handey was doing his deal. Not all of the quotes were hits such as "Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of freedom. I could walk about freely, make my own meals, and even hurl large rocks at their heads. It was only later that I discovered they were not Indians at all, but dirty clothes hampers." I don't know; that doesn't do a thing for me. And some of them were merely just fine like the classic "The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw," which I always thought was overrated, and never understood why it was the go-to Deep Thoughts quote, but there it is. Maybe I think it's so-so because I've heard it so much. I don't know. Then there are others that kill me such as "Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis." Some give us insight into why some people behave the way they do: "I remember how, in college, I got that part-time job as a circus clown, and how the children would laugh and laugh at me. I vowed, then and there, that I would get revenge." One of them might have been at the root of Obama's philosophy on how to succeed in America: "Children need encouragement. So if a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way, he develops a good, lucky feeling." Yeah, kid, you just got lucky. Don't you feel good now? Some offer very practical advice: "Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, mankind should be thinking about getting more use out of the weapons we already have." It makes good, economic sense, if you ask me. Have we learned nothing about "waste not, want not" from the time of want that was The Great Depression? (Based on what I witnessed during the great recession, I would say "no," but I digress.) Most are just off-the-wall silly, which speaks to me: "Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy's arm behind his back. NOW who's asking the questions?" Some showcase some idiosyncrasies of the human condition: "I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair, you still hit those brakes! Hey, better try the emergency brake!" One reminded me of a plan I had in my own life (course, what doesn't remind me of something else): "If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at some guys, throw one of those little baby-type pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think of how crazy war is, and while they're thinking, you can throw a real grenade." I can relate to causing that kind of distraction. Once when I had to walk home five miles on a dark night that threatened rain, I made sure I had my umbrella with me. I was too proud to ask for a ride, though I could think of several people who would've been more than happy to help me out. I don't know; I'm a weirdo. Besides, I thought the exercise would do me good since I worked a sedentary job at the time. (My legs were sore for days.) A few parts of my route were unlit, and I could've been attacked at any time, but I had a plan. If a car pulled over in front of me, and the driver got out and demanded my dough, I would assume the stance of a samurai warrior, brandish my umbrella, hit the button that made it longer, then give a high pitch cackle (which I occasionally practiced on my way). During the moment my intended aggressor was either stunned or laughing, I would run up to him, kick him in the balls, rip off his arm, shove it up his nose, lock him in the trunk of his car, push it into the ditch, then it'd be RUN, FOREST. RUN! all the way home. You see, the umbrella, like the little baby-type pumpkin, was just a red herring. I'm pleased to report I didn't have to resort to these measures, but I'm glad Jack recalled the incident to my mind. Read this for yourself and see what memories stir within you. Or skip it. Several of the quotes are fun, but many others are just "eh."

  2. 5 out of 5

    Deke

    Not AS funny as the first volume, but almost. Laughed out loud several times. This kind of comedic writing is incredibly difficult, yet Jack Handey makes it look effortless.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Elly Call

    This is the weirdest book I’ve ever laid eyes on. It looks like a tour guide to national parks but it’s not. Not at all. Its full of humor that has nothing to do with the glory of the 50 states or conservation. This just wasn’t at all what I was looking for in a book because I wanted to learn about geography. But I did learn that the easiest way to make a woman mad is to kick her in the butt. You know what though? Yeah. It is.

  4. 5 out of 5

    KB

    "Deeper Thoughts" is disappointing, especially in comparison to Handey's other great work, such as the original "Deep Thoughts", which is a hilarious five-star read. This sequel was clearly produced by simply collecting the material that was rejected from inclusion in the preceding volume. I do not recommend wasting one's time on this book. "Deeper Thoughts" is disappointing, especially in comparison to Handey's other great work, such as the original "Deep Thoughts", which is a hilarious five-star read. This sequel was clearly produced by simply collecting the material that was rejected from inclusion in the preceding volume. I do not recommend wasting one's time on this book.

  5. 4 out of 5

    Andrew Shaffer

    “The crows seem to be calling his name, thought Caw.” A classic.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Brad

    Same review for this as the previous collection: Before Mitch Hedberg, demotivational posters, status updates, 140-character tweets, or numerous internet jokes devoted to "shower thoughts," there was Jack Handey's Deep Thoughts. Usually one-liners, these non sequiturs--always paired with serene images--range from absurd musings to historic revisions to unusual logic to bait-and-switch humor to the anti-comic. The best ones are a little twisted. Packing a bunch of them together takes some of the p Same review for this as the previous collection: Before Mitch Hedberg, demotivational posters, status updates, 140-character tweets, or numerous internet jokes devoted to "shower thoughts," there was Jack Handey's Deep Thoughts. Usually one-liners, these non sequiturs--always paired with serene images--range from absurd musings to historic revisions to unusual logic to bait-and-switch humor to the anti-comic. The best ones are a little twisted. Packing a bunch of them together takes some of the punch out of it, as does reading it today when so much has happened in the evolution of comedy since the years Deep Thoughts was on SNL. But Jack Handey's creativity still resonates in enough pages to make this quick read worth a meditative flip-through, even though nowadays the gems would be little more than a comic tweet quickly drowned by the oversaturated sea of electronic information. (view spoiler)[ My favorites: “I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. And since he’s busy, you’d probably have to run up to him real quick and hand it to him.” “Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, mankind should be thinking about getting more use out of the weapons we already have.” “Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy’s arm behind his back. Now who’s asking the questions? “Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess was why several of us died from tuberculosis.” “If you’re robbing a bank, and your pants fall down, I think it’s okay to laugh, and to let the hostages laugh too, because come on, life is funny.” “Sometimes I think I’d better off dead. No, wait. Not me, you.” “When people say that the desert is lifeless, it just makes me want to grab them by the collar and yell, “Why you stupid, stupid bastard!” Then I drive them out into the desert to where the circus is, and point out the many forms of zebra and clown life.” “When you’re going up the stairs and you take a step, kick the other leg up high behind you to keep people from following too close.” “As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.” “I wish outer-space guys would conquer Earth and make people their pets, because I’d like to have one of those little basket-beds with my name on it.” “It’s true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets his wings. But what they don’t tell you is, every time you hear a mousetrap snap, an angel gets set on fire.” “I remember how, in college, I got that part-time job as a circus clown, and how children would laugh at me. I vowed, then and there, that I would get my revenge.” “I hope that they never find out that lightning has a lot of vitamins in it, because do you hide from it or not?” “I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I’d just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway.” (hide spoiler)]

  7. 5 out of 5

    Noel Joy

    because of my twisted sense of humor... i love these little books (i have all all 5). we read them every year on road trips when things get slow in the car! and how can you not love them with little doosies like... "it's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. and i guess that's what i like about it. it's easy. just sitting there rocking back and forth, wanting that money." and "i hope life isn't a big joke, because i don't get it." because of my twisted sense of humor... i love these little books (i have all all 5). we read them every year on road trips when things get slow in the car! and how can you not love them with little doosies like... "it's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. and i guess that's what i like about it. it's easy. just sitting there rocking back and forth, wanting that money." and "i hope life isn't a big joke, because i don't get it."

  8. 4 out of 5

    Rich Meyer

    From the timely spacing of my reviews, it should be pretty obvious I came across all of the Deep Thoughts books, so I'm reading them bang-bang-bang, just for the helluva it. This second book features a lot more quips that I hadn't seen or read before; the first volume was predominated by ones that had been used on Saturday Night Live or in the pages of National Lampoon. It's good to see that the illustrious Mr. Handey could keep churning out the goofiness. Now, on to book three! From the timely spacing of my reviews, it should be pretty obvious I came across all of the Deep Thoughts books, so I'm reading them bang-bang-bang, just for the helluva it. This second book features a lot more quips that I hadn't seen or read before; the first volume was predominated by ones that had been used on Saturday Night Live or in the pages of National Lampoon. It's good to see that the illustrious Mr. Handey could keep churning out the goofiness. Now, on to book three!

  9. 4 out of 5

    Philip

    We were talking about Jack Handey at work at the beginning of the summer. Today, I brought in the book. Sheesh, there's some gold in here. "If you're robbing a bank, and your pants suddenly fall down, I think it's ok to laugh, and to let the hostages laugh too, because come on, life is funny." I read through it during our 15 minute break. I've got to get the rest of these. We were talking about Jack Handey at work at the beginning of the summer. Today, I brought in the book. Sheesh, there's some gold in here. "If you're robbing a bank, and your pants suddenly fall down, I think it's ok to laugh, and to let the hostages laugh too, because come on, life is funny." I read through it during our 15 minute break. I've got to get the rest of these.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Jessica

    "One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to DisneyLand, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "DisneyLand burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real DisneyLand, but it was getting pretty late." "One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to DisneyLand, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "DisneyLand burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real DisneyLand, but it was getting pretty late."

  11. 4 out of 5

    Malbadeen

    VNA-LA's recent quote adds reminded me of these little ditties (the books) and then I remembered that I haven't seen them around lately and then I wanted to remind everyone that my birthday is September 2nd. VNA-LA's recent quote adds reminded me of these little ditties (the books) and then I remembered that I haven't seen them around lately and then I wanted to remind everyone that my birthday is September 2nd.

  12. 4 out of 5

    lurra

    04/13/07 from deepthoughtsbyjackhandey.com: I think a good movie would be about a guy who's a brain scientist, but he gets hit on the head and it damages the part of the brain that makes you want to study the brain. 04/13/07 from deepthoughtsbyjackhandey.com: I think a good movie would be about a guy who's a brain scientist, but he gets hit on the head and it damages the part of the brain that makes you want to study the brain.

  13. 5 out of 5

    Kenneth

    A second book of pithy observations from one of the writers of Saturday Night Live fame.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Melissa Lee-Tammeus

    Too funny. A dry sense of humor that simply makes you go "hmmmm. . . " Could not love these little gift books more! Too funny. A dry sense of humor that simply makes you go "hmmmm. . . " Could not love these little gift books more!

  15. 4 out of 5

    Danny Charnley

    i heart jack handey! @dankcharnley

  16. 4 out of 5

    Malaya Hoffmann

    Again, short, concise and VERY funny.. And I've also read it over and over again.. Again, short, concise and VERY funny.. And I've also read it over and over again..

  17. 4 out of 5

    Joe

    Love this. I wish my library had more!

  18. 4 out of 5

    Eden

    Just what you are expecting. More Deep Thoughts. Funny and quick read.

  19. 4 out of 5

    Andrew

    Seriously, I love deep thoughts so much.

  20. 4 out of 5

    Jill

    SO FUNNY!!!

  21. 4 out of 5

    Sara

    My favorite one of these is probably, 'The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.' This book = a half hour well spent, especially while otherwise trying to read 'Tristram Shandy.' My favorite one of these is probably, 'The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.' This book = a half hour well spent, especially while otherwise trying to read 'Tristram Shandy.'

  22. 5 out of 5

    Teresa

    part 2!

  23. 5 out of 5

    Patrick

  24. 5 out of 5

    Joshua Nomen-Mutatio

  25. 4 out of 5

    Mathew

  26. 4 out of 5

    Logan

  27. 4 out of 5

    Angel

  28. 4 out of 5

    Jane Bove

  29. 5 out of 5

    John

  30. 4 out of 5

    Wendi Brazell

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