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I'm the Vampire, That's Why

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Broken Heart is the city with the highest rate of divorce and highest percentage of single parents in Oklahoma. And I, Jessica Matthews, have been a member of that club ever since my husband dumped me for his twentysomething secretary and then had the gall to die in a car accident. Now I’m not just a single mother trying to make ends meet in this crazy world....I’m also a Broken Heart is the city with the highest rate of divorce and highest percentage of single parents in Oklahoma. And I, Jessica Matthews, have been a member of that club ever since my husband dumped me for his twentysomething secretary and then had the gall to die in a car accident. Now I’m not just a single mother trying to make ends meet in this crazy world....I’m also a vampire. One minute I was taking out the garbage; the next I awoke sucking on the thigh of superhot vampire Patrick O’Halloran, who’d generously offered his femoral artery to save me. But though my stretch marks have disappeared and my vision has improved, I can’t rest until the thing that did this to me is caught. My kids’ future is at stake…figuratively and literally. As is my sex life. Although I wouldn’t mind finding myself attached to Patrick’s juicy thigh again, I learned that once a vampire does the dirty deed, it hitches her to the object of her affection for at least one hundred years. I just don’t know if I’m ready for that kind of commitment....


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Broken Heart is the city with the highest rate of divorce and highest percentage of single parents in Oklahoma. And I, Jessica Matthews, have been a member of that club ever since my husband dumped me for his twentysomething secretary and then had the gall to die in a car accident. Now I’m not just a single mother trying to make ends meet in this crazy world....I’m also a Broken Heart is the city with the highest rate of divorce and highest percentage of single parents in Oklahoma. And I, Jessica Matthews, have been a member of that club ever since my husband dumped me for his twentysomething secretary and then had the gall to die in a car accident. Now I’m not just a single mother trying to make ends meet in this crazy world....I’m also a vampire. One minute I was taking out the garbage; the next I awoke sucking on the thigh of superhot vampire Patrick O’Halloran, who’d generously offered his femoral artery to save me. But though my stretch marks have disappeared and my vision has improved, I can’t rest until the thing that did this to me is caught. My kids’ future is at stake…figuratively and literally. As is my sex life. Although I wouldn’t mind finding myself attached to Patrick’s juicy thigh again, I learned that once a vampire does the dirty deed, it hitches her to the object of her affection for at least one hundred years. I just don’t know if I’m ready for that kind of commitment....

30 review for I'm the Vampire, That's Why

  1. 5 out of 5

    Traci Wallace

    I started this book thinking it was going to be a fun, light, sassy read. I really wanted to like it. But after a little over 100 pages I had to stop. Reasons for doing so: It was very inconsistent – So many things contradicted each other. In one scene she burst through the roof of an RV, a handful of pages later, it was noted that the van had such strong walls/roof/floor that not even vampire strength could dent it. Umm ok??? Just like when she woke the first night she noticed her heart wasn’t b I started this book thinking it was going to be a fun, light, sassy read. I really wanted to like it. But after a little over 100 pages I had to stop. Reasons for doing so: It was very inconsistent – So many things contradicted each other. In one scene she burst through the roof of an RV, a handful of pages later, it was noted that the van had such strong walls/roof/floor that not even vampire strength could dent it. Umm ok??? Just like when she woke the first night she noticed her heart wasn’t beating (along with not breathing, but I’ll get to that later) then a couple paragraphs later her heart was pounding, then it was noted that if her heart beat it would’ve trembled, then it was almost jumping out of her chest, then it went back to she had no heart beat, back to heart hammering. I never knew what the hell was going on the author changed her own “rules” so often. It was very irritating, if you are going to write your supernaturals one way, then by god keep them that way, or at least give a reason why everything changes and is so sporadic. I hate when authors are too lazy to keep up with their own stories, and contradicting yourself in your book is bad enough but when it happens in the same chapter! Shit that’s just bad business. At one point she was so “hungry” her fangs popped out of her gums twice in a small amount of time, then she went forever without feeding, at least another whole day. Like a lot of other things in this story, something would come up, made a point of and then forgotten. Like her constantly wishing she could breathe, the author brought up Numerous times she couldn’t breathe even if she tried, yet she could speak, and how can you even speak without any breath, that doesn’t make any sense. If she just didn’t have to breathe, and only did so occasionally to talk or dramatically sigh, ok I would understand that, but it was pointed out so many times that she couldn’t, at all. But somehow other vampires were able to sigh when they were irritated. It was very annoying. It also had one of the fastest insta-love/jealousy whatever it is - ever. I mean good lord, I know authors have gotten a little lazy with romance, and a lot of stories lately have “insta-love” but shit, this couple was hands down one of the fastest. In the very beginning before anything at all had really even happened between the h/h, she broke a couple fingers on another woman’s hand for literally just putting her hand on the heroes arm, and this was only 24 hours after the heroine had met him, and most of those hours she was asleep or turning! (at least 20 of those hrs) That is CRAZY! ‘I crawled onto the bed and debated whether or not I should use the last vestiges of willpower to undress. Nope. Not gonna happen. If I was lucky, Patrick would join me, de-clothe me, and… well… keep his mitts off me. I didn't need to have sex with him. But I wanted to.’ This quote is from her 2nd night of her “re-birth” or whatever, she has only known him for roughly 24-36 hrs!!! And then the hero a 4,000 year old vampire, give me a break. That just wasn’t believable given what we knew about him. 400 maybe but 4,000, just no. That was just pushing it too far for me. And she was suppose to be 36. She acted more like a 16 yr old. ‘I caused the people in my life no amount of frustration because I was, as my mother said, "one who mulled too much." I liked to roll things around in my head before I made a decision.’ Bullshit, this woman thought 90% of the time about the hero. She seemed pretty impulsive to me, doing what she wanted when she wanted with no thought process at all. And she flitted around from one thought to the next with out really ever dwelling on anything, including her kids, maybe especially her kids before her thoughts would circle back to lusting after Patrick. In one part of the book, and this is where I actually stopped because I could no longer take it, her daughter who had just seen her for the 1st time in 3 days happened upon her in the garage/basement and seen her eyes glowing red with a pair of swords and fangs, so the little girl runs to her brothers room in hysterics, when Jessica (the mom/heroine) gets there and is trying to talk to her kids about what is going on and her “sickness” when Patrick slips into her mind to try and help her with what to tell her kids, and right in the middle she gets ‘A sensual thrill zipped up my spine.’ and that’s a direct line from the book! Literally right in the middle of seeing her “babies” for the 1st time in days, and having a monumental conversation with them to tell them she’s a vampire, and her panties are getting wet! Ew I just couldn’t take it anymore. And I am not one to DNF. I’m sure there are plenty of people who loved this book, but I just couldn’t for the life of me finish or enjoy it. If I knew it was going to get better or improve I would've just kept on, but I just couldn't see that happening. It actually makes me a little sad, because I wanted so much to like this book, but I am forever grateful I didn't spend any money for this, and only borrowed the 1st in this series. *Edited in 06/2015 for spelling

  2. 4 out of 5

    Jilly

    Read this on my vacation. It was okay. Not life-changing or even as funny as I had hoped. I'm not reviewing it because I need to catch-up on 50 million things. Read this on my vacation. It was okay. Not life-changing or even as funny as I had hoped. I'm not reviewing it because I need to catch-up on 50 million things.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Clare

    There's a difference between fun, lighthearted vampire fiction and the ridiculous. This one was ridiculous. It had too many elements: * Jessica, a bitter ex-wife who's now an ex-widow, she's also the descendent of some Irish magic. Her ancestor's curse means no one in her town of Broken Heart, Oklahoma will ever find love. She is attacked by a monster, and then saved by the Irish non-monster version of the same person. Very confusing. *Her husband's girlfriend has a change of heart and apologizes There's a difference between fun, lighthearted vampire fiction and the ridiculous. This one was ridiculous. It had too many elements: * Jessica, a bitter ex-wife who's now an ex-widow, she's also the descendent of some Irish magic. Her ancestor's curse means no one in her town of Broken Heart, Oklahoma will ever find love. She is attacked by a monster, and then saved by the Irish non-monster version of the same person. Very confusing. *Her husband's girlfriend has a change of heart and apologizes for breaking up the family, becomes a vampire, and then commits suicide by exposing herself to the sun. *The hunky vampire, who has a smoldering Irish accent (I kept thinking of Liam Neeson whispering in my ear...) is the twin brother of the monster who attacked Jessica. With apparently a ginormous penis. "I wish I could say that the embarrassment of my cheek brushing against his testicles outweighed my need to suck his blood - and yeah, I know, ew- but it was like... it was like... a half-off sale at Pottery Barn." The line about the testicles appears on page 4. It may be the way my brain works, but you can either have sexy or funny. I don't think you can have both. This author attempts both and fails. The werewolves refers to their penises (peni?) as "woobies." Neither sexy nor funny. This line is when I gave up on the book.

  4. 5 out of 5

    Alaina

    I'm the Vampire, That's Why was a pretty good book. Jessica was a funny MC. She was a single mom who became a vampire. It also doesn't hurt that there's Patrick, the sexy Irish Vampire either. Now I shipped the heck out of these two; However, life is cruel to me because Jessica was having trouble committing to him. Well, it could've been because of the whole weird bond thing that would have to happen.. and the fact that she has human ass kids too. The one thing that sort of threw me off was the w I'm the Vampire, That's Why was a pretty good book. Jessica was a funny MC. She was a single mom who became a vampire. It also doesn't hurt that there's Patrick, the sexy Irish Vampire either. Now I shipped the heck out of these two; However, life is cruel to me because Jessica was having trouble committing to him. Well, it could've been because of the whole weird bond thing that would have to happen.. and the fact that she has human ass kids too. The one thing that sort of threw me off was the whole intimacy thing and how they had to be bound together for several hundred years. Yikes, talk about a huge commitment. Overall, it was a cute and easy read. I'm glad that I was recommended this book and I can't wait to read the second one. This book gives you strong and likable characters, a ton of funny moments, and some great ass love scenes. Give me book two right now guys!

  5. 5 out of 5

    Cassandra

    My Thoughts - 5 out of 5 Unicorns - I loved it!!! ***I choose what I read and review based on what intrigues me!! I bought this in paperback, but no one tells me what to think, feel, or write about any book! I have also bought the rest of the series to read in paperback!! Woohoo!! The cover is cartoony, and I really like it! This is the first book in the Broken Heart series! Michele Bardsley is fast becoming one of my favorite authors. She makes the world come alive. This is for adults only due to My Thoughts - 5 out of 5 Unicorns - I loved it!!! ***I choose what I read and review based on what intrigues me!! I bought this in paperback, but no one tells me what to think, feel, or write about any book! I have also bought the rest of the series to read in paperback!! Woohoo!! The cover is cartoony, and I really like it! This is the first book in the Broken Heart series! Michele Bardsley is fast becoming one of my favorite authors. She makes the world come alive. This is for adults only due to the steamy content and violence. This is the start of the parakind community in Broken Heart, OK. I can definitely relate to Jessica as a single parent. She puts her kids first, and I love her sense of humor and her attitude about everything. She takes things well. Patrick is intense and sexy. I love how protective he is, and I wish it was as easy as downloading information directly to your brain to learn something new in seconds. This is a interesting world, and there is excitement and mysteries to keep you engaged in the story and wanting more. This is definitely an action packed mixed paranormal world with good guys and bad guys! I highly recommend to any paranormal fan because this world has a little of everything with Vampires, Shifters, Sidhe, magic, prophecies, mates, and more!

  6. 4 out of 5

    Archer

    Taken From: http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/b/m... There's a new breed of soccer mom in town-with fangs. Does drinking blood make me a bad mother? That's the question single mom Jessica Matthews faces when she wakes from a savage attack sucking on the thigh of Patrick O'Halloran, a super-hot Irish vampire who'd generously offered his femoral artery to save her from death...only to make her one of the undead. Jessica can't rest until the beast that did this to her is caught. Meanwhile, she's havin Taken From: http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/b/m... There's a new breed of soccer mom in town-with fangs. Does drinking blood make me a bad mother? That's the question single mom Jessica Matthews faces when she wakes from a savage attack sucking on the thigh of Patrick O'Halloran, a super-hot Irish vampire who'd generously offered his femoral artery to save her from death...only to make her one of the undead. Jessica can't rest until the beast that did this to her is caught. Meanwhile, she's having trouble committing to Patrick (in the vampire handbook, physical intimacy costs you several hundred years of being bound together) and keeping her kids in line. The Review: I had been looking for a light read when I stumbled upon this book, ‘I’m the Vampire, That’s Why.’ The book had a cutesy cover so I picked it up and read the back page. I’m glad I did. This book had everything I was looking for: a good background story, strong characters, laugh out loud funny in places, and there were plenty of great sex scenes. I didn’t find anything that I seriously disliked about the book. It was fun, an easy read, and made me want to read the next one. What more can you ask for in a book?

  7. 5 out of 5

    Jai

    Story centers around a suburban mom (Jessica Matthews) who gets mauled by a hairy creature as she takes out the trash. She wakes up later to find that the creature nearly killed her and so she had to be Turned into a vampire. Thusly she discovers a whole world she didn't know existed that has vampires, wolf shapshifters, and humans working together, but they also have enemies. Starts off interesting, but about third or halfway through begins feel repetitive. Lots of mom jokes and snarking off at Story centers around a suburban mom (Jessica Matthews) who gets mauled by a hairy creature as she takes out the trash. She wakes up later to find that the creature nearly killed her and so she had to be Turned into a vampire. Thusly she discovers a whole world she didn't know existed that has vampires, wolf shapshifters, and humans working together, but they also have enemies. Starts off interesting, but about third or halfway through begins feel repetitive. Lots of mom jokes and snarking off at vampires. Jessica may be the soul mate of one of the oldest vampires, and has a "dilemma" over whether she should sleep with him (there is a lot of lusting and description of how gorgeous he is - on about the eyes and accent and he uses a lot of Gaelic), thus be married to him for 100 years, and also worries about how this could affect her children. A lightly plotted story, pretty quick, fun-type romance read. Has a MaryJanice Davidson air, not quite as good, but I'll give this author another chance.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Graylark

    Abandoned this, tried to read it again, and abandoned it again after slogging through some more chapters. Couldn't stop rolling my eyes while reading. It was just too absurd--the story too pat, and with vampires being the ultimate Mary Sue. Need anything? Poof! Vampires magic anything you want out of thin air. Need to get somewhere? Poof! Vampires fly there. 11 people dead? Poof! Vampires resurrect them all as more vampires! Need to learn combat? Get vampire-magicked sword from thin air and voil Abandoned this, tried to read it again, and abandoned it again after slogging through some more chapters. Couldn't stop rolling my eyes while reading. It was just too absurd--the story too pat, and with vampires being the ultimate Mary Sue. Need anything? Poof! Vampires magic anything you want out of thin air. Need to get somewhere? Poof! Vampires fly there. 11 people dead? Poof! Vampires resurrect them all as more vampires! Need to learn combat? Get vampire-magicked sword from thin air and voila!--instant combat skills downloaded into your brain, literally described as being like the Matrix! But wait, there's more! As a vampire, you lose weight, get better skin, lose all blemishes and age lines, raise your butt, raise your boobs, etc.! The writing wasn't good enough to make up for it either.

  9. 4 out of 5

    Jasmin

    Is fear rith maith nά drochseasamh. And that means what? A good run is better than a bad stand. Oh. And that means what? It means, Jessica, that life is about choices. Sometimes you fight, sometimes you flee, but you never surrender. This book in its sheer simplicity, has taught me this important life lesson. Also it tried to teach me Gaelic terms, which unfortunately, my brain refuses to process. Jessica Matthews, single mom of two, was attacked and left bleeding to death on the pavement. She wa Is fear rith maith nά drochseasamh. And that means what? A good run is better than a bad stand. Oh. And that means what? It means, Jessica, that life is about choices. Sometimes you fight, sometimes you flee, but you never surrender. This book in its sheer simplicity, has taught me this important life lesson. Also it tried to teach me Gaelic terms, which unfortunately, my brain refuses to process. Jessica Matthews, single mom of two, was attacked and left bleeding to death on the pavement. She wakes up, thinking she’s in heaven. Well not literally, but figuratively, she is, as she was suckling on a male thigh. It’s then I can imagine him talking. Patrick O’ Halloran. I could almost hear his voice tingling my ear, speaking sweet nothings in his sexy Irish accent. That is enough to make me dance on my toes. Hmm, consider accents my waterloo. You could blindfold me, and make even a garbage collector talk to me in any foreign accent, and I could fall in love with him on the spot. That’s when Jessica tears away from the velvety inside of the muscular male thigh. That’s when she sees the man with the sexy Irish accent. And the body does not disappoint. Being naked, Jessica managed to survey the entire package, and I will quote: Raven-black hair feathered away from his face, and ends of it curling on his shoulders. He looked like Pierce Brosnan in his Remington Steele days, except for the color of those eyes. With eyes like the sea after a storm. Those strange eyes were an ever changing silver that seemed to eddy and swirl like a fast rising river. Given his size, my guess was that he was just about six feet tall. He was muscular and trim like an athlete, rather than bulky like a gym freak, with a light dusting on his chest and thighs.” There’s also a detailed account on exclusive male organs, but we wouldn’t want to be descriptive much, right? Well, aside from the sexy package, despite Patrick being dead, he has a large heart to give. He believes that Jessica is his soulmate, and he gives her the choice to bind with him. On their first meeting, he ties himself up, so he wouldn’t ravish Jessica and end up binding her against her will (having sex would bind any paranormal being for a hundred years). I would have given this book four stars, however, I gave it three because: (1) quotations from movies I unfortunately never watched (the blame must be on me, but the author should never assume that all her readers seen The Princess Bride), (2) the excessive Gaelic, without immediate translations, (3) the legend which was a hundred years old, but written in a manner and style belonging to the 20th century. But still it was a good and refreshing read. And yes, despite motherhood and death, Jessica Matthews cam definitely kick butt.

  10. 5 out of 5

    t'irla ~The Bookslayer~ aka Barbara

    I went into this book as a filler, waiting to receive the next book in a series I was reading not really expecting much. It was a single book I had hanging around and I didn't have any of the rest of the series so I thought I was "safe". Well!! Imagine my surprise when I fell head over heels for Jessica and Patrick. Jessica is your normal everyday single Mom. Patrick is your millennium + old Vampire. Patrick and his group decide Broken Heart, Oklahoma is a good place to set up offices since their I went into this book as a filler, waiting to receive the next book in a series I was reading not really expecting much. It was a single book I had hanging around and I didn't have any of the rest of the series so I thought I was "safe". Well!! Imagine my surprise when I fell head over heels for Jessica and Patrick. Jessica is your normal everyday single Mom. Patrick is your millennium + old Vampire. Patrick and his group decide Broken Heart, Oklahoma is a good place to set up offices since their last offices were destroyed by a group of bad Vamps called Wraiths (yes how LOTRs). Patrick's brother is sick..was injected with a "cure"...and ran amuck making new vamps. Hence Jessica's change. We follow our heroes through Jessica dealing with her change, Patrick dealing with his brother, them both dealing with the Wraiths...all while becoming/recognizing each other as soulmates. Michele Bardsley presents her characters with a down to earth humour that makes them lovable and allows you to connect with them in a very grass roots way. You can't help but laugh at Jessica's foul mouth and her daughter's potty mouth jar for quarters when she swears because you know that is what happened in your house. Her hero Patrick is not as controlling as a lot of Vamps are portrayed and much more modern in his view point. He is easy to relate to and very tolerant of Jessica's foibles. I'm now hooked..and of course have to read the next book...so much for a filler book...caught again:) A must read for those who enjoy humour with their vamps and a bit lightness among the darkness that vampires usually bring to stories. A definite 4 stars...if the rest of the series is as good..I see some 5 stars in the future.

  11. 5 out of 5

    Samantha

    People often lament the quality of the writing in the Twilight series but compared to this Twilight is a masterpiece. Yes it is that bad. The story follows Jessica Matthews newly turned vampire who is also a widow bringing up two children in a small Oklahoma town. I didn't expect it to be Shakespeare just a fun read. But it reads as though it was written by a teenager and one who uses expressions like "anyhoodles", "chickiepoo" "ooey-gooey-do-me-mode" "tough noogies" may be this is the way they People often lament the quality of the writing in the Twilight series but compared to this Twilight is a masterpiece. Yes it is that bad. The story follows Jessica Matthews newly turned vampire who is also a widow bringing up two children in a small Oklahoma town. I didn't expect it to be Shakespeare just a fun read. But it reads as though it was written by a teenager and one who uses expressions like "anyhoodles", "chickiepoo" "ooey-gooey-do-me-mode" "tough noogies" may be this is the way they speak in Oklahoma? but it is just plain annoying but before you go thinking it is all sweet and romantic disperse with that notion because we get plenty of crudish language just to mix it up. It isn't even funny to compensate. I also found there were references to things obviously local to the author but which an outsider (I live in the UK) I wouldn't know but there is no attempt to explain. I mean, for example, what is Off? Apparently it is a mosquito repellent. I know I am being a bit petty now but this book makes you feel that way. But for me the worse sin it committed was extolling the virtues of anorexia via comments like "and as taut as a supermodel's starved frame" in a manner that to me indicates admiration. I actually felt sorry for our erstwhile hero Patrick who had spent centuries waiting to meet his "céardsearc" only to meet Jessica. Good points there aren't any.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Shannon

    I thought this would be a fun book to read, and it was, if somewhat annoying also. It is about a single mother in the small town of Broken Heart, Oklahoma who, while taking out the garbage, is attacked and killed, but wakes up to find that she has been turned into a vampire. She also finds out that the same has happened to ten other people in Broken Heart. Most of the book is spent with her trying to figure out how to be a vampire and still raise her two children, all while falling for the hunky I thought this would be a fun book to read, and it was, if somewhat annoying also. It is about a single mother in the small town of Broken Heart, Oklahoma who, while taking out the garbage, is attacked and killed, but wakes up to find that she has been turned into a vampire. She also finds out that the same has happened to ten other people in Broken Heart. Most of the book is spent with her trying to figure out how to be a vampire and still raise her two children, all while falling for the hunky vampire who "turned" her. There's more to it than that, but essentially it was just a bunch of ridiculous details to make the book last longer, i.e., if she has full-on sex with Patrick, then she is bound to him for 100 years. As a woman whose husband cheated on her, she has issues with tying herself to someone for that long. This creates sexual tension, which drags the story out, but not really in a good way. There's a lot of snarky humor, but I think the author seems to like her own sense of humor for more than I, the reader, did. It's not likely that I will read any more books by this author, but this one was a quick bit of fluff.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Magda

    2.5 stars. Guess the author is a big Mary Janice Davidson fan, apart from mentioning her in the book she also tried to copy her writing style without the same result. This book definitely had its funny moments but it also had some WTF moments, too. Don't know if I liked it enough to continue reading the series. 2.5 stars. Guess the author is a big Mary Janice Davidson fan, apart from mentioning her in the book she also tried to copy her writing style without the same result. This book definitely had its funny moments but it also had some WTF moments, too. Don't know if I liked it enough to continue reading the series.

  14. 4 out of 5

    Amber

    Nothing spectacular or genre defining, but a decent read. Albeit, a bit long at times.

  15. 4 out of 5

    Sara

    Wow, is this what women are reading right now? I bought this set at the library expecting some fluffy chick lit about vampires and instead I got - well, THAT - but also a lot of sex. Page after page of silly lovemaking scenes with a too gorgeous vampire who's way too possessive. I liked Jessica, the turnblood. There were funny parts but really this entire book was just a pretence. They only needed a thin plot to divide the many sessions where they keep "doing it". I got annoyed. I rolled my eyes. Wow, is this what women are reading right now? I bought this set at the library expecting some fluffy chick lit about vampires and instead I got - well, THAT - but also a lot of sex. Page after page of silly lovemaking scenes with a too gorgeous vampire who's way too possessive. I liked Jessica, the turnblood. There were funny parts but really this entire book was just a pretence. They only needed a thin plot to divide the many sessions where they keep "doing it". I got annoyed. I rolled my eyes. And I read the entire book. I own this series now (sigh) so might as well make the most of it. If you're into erotica and vampires, this might be the book for you. I was bummed that its not more about her parenting. I inferred that from the title. Sigh.

  16. 5 out of 5

    ~V~

    I REALLY enjoyed this one A LOT!...there were a bunch of laugh out loud moments and a few heartwarming ones too (if you're a mom...you'll relate). The story is told in 1st person..from the "h" point of view and she's very funny! I don't usually go into any details in my reviews 'cause I'm always afraid that I'll give away too much information..so I'll just say that if you're a fan of vampire humor ...and you have a "thing" for Scottish vamps!..as I DO!..then def. check this one out! Super cute l I REALLY enjoyed this one A LOT!...there were a bunch of laugh out loud moments and a few heartwarming ones too (if you're a mom...you'll relate). The story is told in 1st person..from the "h" point of view and she's very funny! I don't usually go into any details in my reviews 'cause I'm always afraid that I'll give away too much information..so I'll just say that if you're a fan of vampire humor ...and you have a "thing" for Scottish vamps!..as I DO!..then def. check this one out! Super cute light read!! :)

  17. 4 out of 5

    Lindsay

    Extremely enjoyable. I heartily thank the fellow shopper at Barnes & Noble who recommended it to me.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Literary Ames {Against GR Censorship}

    A single parent protagonist? And of under-18s too. Something different -Whoo-hoo! The humour for me was hit-and-miss (Woobies? Seriously?) but what really intrigued me was Jessica's relationship with her dead husband, Rich and his mistress, Charlene and their baby, little Richie. The emotional side of things. You can't help feeling for Jess while she's trying to figure out how to deal the mistress of her dead husband now permanently entrenched in her life as another new vampire, sharing the same A single parent protagonist? And of under-18s too. Something different -Whoo-hoo! The humour for me was hit-and-miss (Woobies? Seriously?) but what really intrigued me was Jessica's relationship with her dead husband, Rich and his mistress, Charlene and their baby, little Richie. The emotional side of things. You can't help feeling for Jess while she's trying to figure out how to deal the mistress of her dead husband now permanently entrenched in her life as another new vampire, sharing the same master (jealousy but that's not irrational -she steals one man, she might steal another) as well as adjusting to the undead lifestyle and holding off the enemy Wraiths. What Charlene reveals about Rich changes the way Jess feels about him but ultimately the outcome of her marriage would've been the same. Aside from the constant worry for their health and safetly and considering Jess is a widowed single mother, we don't see too much of the children. I know the focus is on the couple coming together being romance and all but I was desperate to know how they felt about the werewolves and vampires in their lives beyond the obvious "Coooool!" I liked the origin stories behind the first vampire and The Rings as well as the concept of claiming and mating for 100 years. It cuts out the possibility of straying but could leave you in a miserable situation. Overall, this was an easy, fast and fun read.

  19. 4 out of 5

    JG

    Truth to be told, I was not sure I’d like this book when I first downloaded it to my trustee calibre. Some of the chick-lits that are supposed to be funny are either really funny or annoying. I am glad to say this is a satisfying and fun read. The heroines voice, was thank goodness not annoying and whiny; though it reminds me of an amusing, teenager with a sarcastic and snarky humour. It gets irritating and rubs me off the wrong way every now and then because she keeps acting more like a child t Truth to be told, I was not sure I’d like this book when I first downloaded it to my trustee calibre. Some of the chick-lits that are supposed to be funny are either really funny or annoying. I am glad to say this is a satisfying and fun read. The heroines voice, was thank goodness not annoying and whiny; though it reminds me of an amusing, teenager with a sarcastic and snarky humour. It gets irritating and rubs me off the wrong way every now and then because she keeps acting more like a child than an adult. However, I love her attitude. She was kind without being too unreal , makes mature decisions, and she’s a great mom. She reminds me of Kristen Ashley’s Fantasy Land series heroines. If you read that one, you’ll notice they all have the same childlike, sometimes unrealistic, and slightly irritating temperament. But for all there faults for being too close to perfect, they get under your skin too. There are HOT scenes I guarantee will leave you giggling like a silly girl. Our hero is UBER-HOT, he’s been through tough times but he was strong not to let it turn him into this a tortured soul. And he is perfection and I LOVE him!  *why can’t I have guys like that!? sucks man! The plot is interesting and the mystery keeps you hanging. I laughed, I cried, I blushed. And I’m off to book 2.

  20. 5 out of 5

    Lady Allison

    Jessica Matthews is still getting over the death of her cheating husband and learning how to manage being a single mom when she is mauled by a crazy lycanthrope and wakes up undead. Along with 12 other citizens of her tiny town, Broken Heart, in the middle of Oklahoma (makes me wanna sing the song). Her Master, Patrick O'Halloran, is a sweetheart of an Irishman & one of the oldest vampires alive (well, undead). He also happens to be her soulmate. There is a lot of courting, almost sex, and assua Jessica Matthews is still getting over the death of her cheating husband and learning how to manage being a single mom when she is mauled by a crazy lycanthrope and wakes up undead. Along with 12 other citizens of her tiny town, Broken Heart, in the middle of Oklahoma (makes me wanna sing the song). Her Master, Patrick O'Halloran, is a sweetheart of an Irishman & one of the oldest vampires alive (well, undead). He also happens to be her soulmate. There is a lot of courting, almost sex, and assuaging insecurities, but it's quite a charming story. I liked Jessica, even though she cursed like a sailor. Patrick was a dream come true, never pressuring her to mate him (having sex meant bonding for a century! Yeesh, certainly makes you rethink one night stands!) while she worked out her personal drama over her husband & his betrayal as well as her feelings for him in regards to how she "should" feel and how much she adored her children. Even amongst the humor, the letter she wrote to her husband & read to him at his grave was incredibly emotional. I think the kids should have played a bigger part though, because it was such a big deal that she was a single mom, but we hardly saw them. All in all, a great start to a series I certainly intend to continue.

  21. 5 out of 5

    Mrs. Missive

    Why oh why is this series not in ebook!?!?!?!? It is just wrong I tell you! This book was so much fun! I loved the author's and the main character's snarky sence of humor. This book had me laughing out loud. Our main character is a single mom of two who gets attacked on the way to take out the garbage. Her son's chore by the way. Many of the situations/interactions took a little leap of faith on my part as a reader, but hey...it's a world with vampires. Let's suspend our belief a little. Jessica i Why oh why is this series not in ebook!?!?!?!? It is just wrong I tell you! This book was so much fun! I loved the author's and the main character's snarky sence of humor. This book had me laughing out loud. Our main character is a single mom of two who gets attacked on the way to take out the garbage. Her son's chore by the way. Many of the situations/interactions took a little leap of faith on my part as a reader, but hey...it's a world with vampires. Let's suspend our belief a little. Jessica is our Turn-Blood vamp. Finally my name is not used for a side character that is a slut, or a bitch. Well our main character is a bitch, but after a cheating husband...she deserves her attitude IMO. Jessica wakes up from her death suckling from the vein on the thigh of a hot naked vampire. Umm...yeah. Need I say more? I blew through this book in a single day. Much to the dismay of my laundry and dishes, but I couldn't put this down. Funny, sexy, action-packed (in all ways *waggles brows*), and about hot vampires. This book had everything I love about smut. Please Ms. Bardsley! EBOOKS!!!! 4.5 stars. Going in the re-read folder.

  22. 5 out of 5

    Sandra

    This was a really funny, sweet book. I liked it a lot. Who would think you could get turned into a vampire while taking out the garbage. Well it happened to Jessica Matthews, and 10 other people that same night. Jessica wakes up to her fangs in the femoral artery of Patrick O'Halloran, master vampire and her soul mate. The problem is Jessica doesn't believe in soul mates, she's a widow with 2 small kids, who was in the middle of a divorce when her husband died. So the premise of this series is that This was a really funny, sweet book. I liked it a lot. Who would think you could get turned into a vampire while taking out the garbage. Well it happened to Jessica Matthews, and 10 other people that same night. Jessica wakes up to her fangs in the femoral artery of Patrick O'Halloran, master vampire and her soul mate. The problem is Jessica doesn't believe in soul mates, she's a widow with 2 small kids, who was in the middle of a divorce when her husband died. So the premise of this series is that the bad vamps, Wraiths, want to take over the human world cause we are just so beneath them. The Consortium is made up of good vamps, humans and lycantropes etc who want to make nice. Patrick and his twin brother Lorcan created the Consortium 500 years ago. Lorcan is the one who killed all the people in Broken Heart on that one night. He was sorta out of control cause he was trying to recover from The Taint . A vampire disease. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of this series.

  23. 4 out of 5

    FlibBityFLooB

    Parts of this book amused me to no end, but parts were a little churlish. As an example, the amount of times the author used the word woobies to refer to testes numbered at least 4. I always thought that a woobie was a child's security blanket. I guess you learn something new everyday. Even with woobie-madness, I still laughed out loud a few times while reading this and enjoyed the book. If you're a fan of authors like Katie MacAlister or MaryJanice Davidson, you will likely enjoy this style Parts of this book amused me to no end, but parts were a little churlish. As an example, the amount of times the author used the word woobies to refer to testes numbered at least 4. I always thought that a woobie was a child's security blanket. I guess you learn something new everyday. Even with woobie-madness, I still laughed out loud a few times while reading this and enjoyed the book. If you're a fan of authors like Katie MacAlister or MaryJanice Davidson, you will likely enjoy this style of book. I happen to be a big fan of both the aforementioned authors, so I think that played into my enjoyment of the novel :)

  24. 4 out of 5

    Jasmine

    I liked the author's witty style it was a fun read. But what really turned me off and got me annoyed was that there was so much "sex" it was all about the guy and how gorgeous he was..and how it was hard for the main character to stay away from him.. and blah blah..it turned out to be kinda trashy with all the talk about sex. I guess what I was looking for was a fun read with "Clean" romance... I liked the author's witty style it was a fun read. But what really turned me off and got me annoyed was that there was so much "sex" it was all about the guy and how gorgeous he was..and how it was hard for the main character to stay away from him.. and blah blah..it turned out to be kinda trashy with all the talk about sex. I guess what I was looking for was a fun read with "Clean" romance...

  25. 4 out of 5

    Dawn

    Funny book about a vampire mom. In short she is trying to find a way to tell her kids she is a vamp, then she has to deal with her cheating husbands mistress who is also a vamp, and her feelings for another vamp. All while trying to figure out who is torturing people and vamps alike. I have never read a book by Michele Bardsley, but it was great! The book keeps a good pace and has plenty of interesting characters.

  26. 5 out of 5

    Nancy

    I absolutely adored this story, she was hilarious, the plot kept you focus and on edge an overall wonderful read. Can’t wait to read the series

  27. 5 out of 5

    Monica

    This is a re-read. I read it the first time in January and now again in October. So, the first time I read it I didnt like Jessica...not so much. Although I still find her indecisive about Patrick until the last freaking minute. I liked her this time. I think Michele did some improvements because I didnt find the mistakes this time that I noticed when I first read it. I didnt feel any plot holes or missing information that I did last time either. I found Patrick just as hot and endearing as well This is a re-read. I read it the first time in January and now again in October. So, the first time I read it I didnt like Jessica...not so much. Although I still find her indecisive about Patrick until the last freaking minute. I liked her this time. I think Michele did some improvements because I didnt find the mistakes this time that I noticed when I first read it. I didnt feel any plot holes or missing information that I did last time either. I found Patrick just as hot and endearing as well as the other characters. I even laughed this time around as well. Although no sexy times its alright because we do get a lot of teasing. Dont get me wrong its a tad disappointing but I'm not as upset over it as I seem to be when I first read it. Ha. I'll still keep my original review under this one so y'all can see the difference in my opinion. Sometimes when we do reviews and we go back months or even a year and read it your like wait...I said that? I am bumping my rating by 1 star. Yes again Jessica is to blame and I think there could have been a better ending with Jessica and Patrick. Otherwise, I had no issues with it this time around. ORIGINAL REVIEW: What to say.....well I liked it but not parts. I'll start by saying although I liked it...it wasn't written well. So, this is the first book in the series and was written 10 years ago. I had sooo much trouble keeping that in mind. Although its not a 4 or 5 star for me don't let that discourage you from reading the book. I plan on continuing because honestly the ideas are great and it was funny. Some of the details are a bit of a mess. Just small little things but enough that its noticeable and can confuse the reader. I really liked all the characters we met. My biggest issue was Jessica. She was funny but really annoyingly irritating. Author wrote her to be horribly indecisive. She knows she is Patrick's mate and his soulmate but she refuses to bind with him. She even goes as far as claiming him publicly! At first I was understanding because of everything she's gone through and being turned and all the emotional baggage. Then I'm like ugh. Patrick and Jessica kiss, make-out, and feed from each other but she refuses the binding. Her excuse is her kids but its really because she's freaked at watching her kids grow old and die AND spending 100 years with someone who could potentially do the same thing Rich did to her. Honestly I do feel for her because she was cheated on. Her kids are fine with her being a vampire. She used her kids as an excuse for a lot of things. I get she was dealing with a lot of stuff with her ex dead husband but man that woman admits to everything one moment and then changes her mind the next. Its ping pong! She is like that through the whole book! It really was annoying and honestly my rating had a lot to do with Jessica being such a cringe worthy heroine. Really wanted to reach in and smack her upside the head. Then finally at the end when she FINALLY agrees to the binding we dont even get to enjoy the sexy times! What!? LOL ugh whatever. Alright I am over it. I did enjoy the book as a whole and had really good parts in it. I'll be reading book 2 soon and hopefully it gets better. If I went with ratings I've read then it does get better.

  28. 4 out of 5

    Cid Tyer

    This was an adorable book. My friend Suzan told me I’d like them but I didn’t jump on into reading them until now, and I quite simply must read them all! The writing is delightful; I laughed so hard! The Setting — is Broken Heart, Oklahoma, where the population is primarily single parents, most of whom are nursing broken hearts, thus the tiny town is quite aptly named. The Characters — are quirky and funny. I really liked the main character, Jessica, and her struggle to be both undead and a mother This was an adorable book. My friend Suzan told me I’d like them but I didn’t jump on into reading them until now, and I quite simply must read them all! The writing is delightful; I laughed so hard! The Setting — is Broken Heart, Oklahoma, where the population is primarily single parents, most of whom are nursing broken hearts, thus the tiny town is quite aptly named. The Characters — are quirky and funny. I really liked the main character, Jessica, and her struggle to be both undead and a mother. Most vampire books take someone who is young, unattached and has no responsibilities and pushes them into a situation where they gain a whole new life. But what about those who would have something to lose? A lot to lose. Like her children. The male character won my heart because he was willing to torment himself, sacrifice his life even, and do it simply out of love with no second thoughts or hesitation. I really liked how quirky a lot of the characters were; so very southern and twangy, with bad hair and eye scarring color combinations and big hair. The Plot — just never stopped! This is categorized as a Paranormal Romance, but there’s seriously a lot of plot. I remember about 40 pages from the end something else happened, something sort of big, and I was like, seriously? This is one of those plots that just keep on giving! It’s not just a romance, it’s the story of a town of people and how they handle a very life changing ordeal for themselves and the paranormal community – who just landed on their doorstep. Hot dang – there went the neighbors! Read it. Be ready to laugh. Have a box of chocolates. And clear your day.

  29. 4 out of 5

    Mical

    Alright, I go into each book with an open mind and a willing spirit of adventure, ready for the author and the story to take me where it will, and hoping to enjoy the ride. I made it about 1/2 through this book and hit the brakes. Stop the ride, I wanna get off. The author's style really isn't bad from a literary stand-point. It's the execution of the plot that really had me going, "Why the hell am I reading this?" I just...no...no I can't even describe how little I cared. It's a great idea. I l Alright, I go into each book with an open mind and a willing spirit of adventure, ready for the author and the story to take me where it will, and hoping to enjoy the ride. I made it about 1/2 through this book and hit the brakes. Stop the ride, I wanna get off. The author's style really isn't bad from a literary stand-point. It's the execution of the plot that really had me going, "Why the hell am I reading this?" I just...no...no I can't even describe how little I cared. It's a great idea. I love the concept of the series, but the details, the consummation of the story had me rolling my eyes when I wasn't bored with the foregone conclusions. There was no 'oomph'. No spark. I liked the main character well enough, most of the time, but there was too much extraneous material that so could have been left out, and probably made for a better story in the process. The vampires were so unbelievably powerful, yet restricted by such arbitrary, not to mention nonsensical rules that I found myself thinking, "why bother?". The history was 'okay'; it was certainly detailed, and creative, but so fantastical that it just added to the clash and clutter that overpowered the STORY. I appreciate the author's attempt. I applaud the effort. I give her great marks for creativity, but tone it BACK. When eveyone's an unbelievably powerful superbeing with uber magical powers they really DON'T NEED...well...it's too much. I'd love it if the author would try it again without all the bling; I bet it'd be a much better read. Sorry.

  30. 5 out of 5

    Crystal S

    This was a funny and occasionally cheesy book. I enjoyed it, especially since it's been a while since I've read a less-than-serious paranormal. Stars are lost for a few reasons. It had too many characters (I get that this is the series introduction, but still). I had a hard time remembering who is who. Occasionally, especially at the beginning, it seems that Jessica is not very concerned about her children. She makes up for this by the end though, so perhaps it can be chalked up to the stress an This was a funny and occasionally cheesy book. I enjoyed it, especially since it's been a while since I've read a less-than-serious paranormal. Stars are lost for a few reasons. It had too many characters (I get that this is the series introduction, but still). I had a hard time remembering who is who. Occasionally, especially at the beginning, it seems that Jessica is not very concerned about her children. She makes up for this by the end though, so perhaps it can be chalked up to the stress and wonder of being turned. I also would have liked to "see" Patrick and Jessica falling in love, but it seems that they are "soul mates," which, to me, is a convenient excuse that means they are hot for each other and already practically in love the second they meet. I've never been a big fan of this theme in romances. I like to watch the falling in love. I'm interested enough to probably read more in the series, but not interested enough to read them right this very second. My wanting to read more is definitely because it was LOL funny at times. Let's just say that Patrick's father is not what you'd expect of an ancient vampire/master of the vampire race. If you are looking for something light and fluffy I recommend this. I much, much, much prefer it to MaryJanice Davidson's Queen Betsy series. Bardsley's characters are infinitely more tolerable and likeable.

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