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Why Don't They Just Quit?: What Families and Friends Need to Know about Addiction and Recovery

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Real-life solutions to help you now! Watching a loved one immersed in an intense battle with alcohol and drug abuse may be the most difficult, complex and harrowing experience you ll ever have. This book offers a message of hope to families and friends, giving practical solutions so they can help anyone struggling with addiction to begin the road to recovery. You will lea Real-life solutions to help you now! Watching a loved one immersed in an intense battle with alcohol and drug abuse may be the most difficult, complex and harrowing experience you ll ever have. This book offers a message of hope to families and friends, giving practical solutions so they can help anyone struggling with addiction to begin the road to recovery. You will learn: Why a person doesn t have to hit rock-bottom before getting help. When helping is actually hurting. Why quitting is not the same as recovering. How to deal with a relapse. How to receive 50 percent or more off the cost of treatment. Why a parent would leave their child due to their addiction. Why effective intervention doesn t have to be a surprise attack. Answers to over 30 common, and not so common questions. Inspiring first-hand recovery stories from real people!


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Real-life solutions to help you now! Watching a loved one immersed in an intense battle with alcohol and drug abuse may be the most difficult, complex and harrowing experience you ll ever have. This book offers a message of hope to families and friends, giving practical solutions so they can help anyone struggling with addiction to begin the road to recovery. You will lea Real-life solutions to help you now! Watching a loved one immersed in an intense battle with alcohol and drug abuse may be the most difficult, complex and harrowing experience you ll ever have. This book offers a message of hope to families and friends, giving practical solutions so they can help anyone struggling with addiction to begin the road to recovery. You will learn: Why a person doesn t have to hit rock-bottom before getting help. When helping is actually hurting. Why quitting is not the same as recovering. How to deal with a relapse. How to receive 50 percent or more off the cost of treatment. Why a parent would leave their child due to their addiction. Why effective intervention doesn t have to be a surprise attack. Answers to over 30 common, and not so common questions. Inspiring first-hand recovery stories from real people!

30 review for Why Don't They Just Quit?: What Families and Friends Need to Know about Addiction and Recovery

  1. 4 out of 5

    Bobbi Woods

    The reviews of this book were so fabulous that I could not resist purchasing. However, I was a bit disappointed. It is billed as a "must read" for families of substance abusers and I felt like it was a book more directed to the actual substance abuser himself--to show that there is hope and there are many other options in life. I will definitely pass this book along. Perhaps because I have been dealing with this issue for several years, I didn't feel like this book offered any new information. It The reviews of this book were so fabulous that I could not resist purchasing. However, I was a bit disappointed. It is billed as a "must read" for families of substance abusers and I felt like it was a book more directed to the actual substance abuser himself--to show that there is hope and there are many other options in life. I will definitely pass this book along. Perhaps because I have been dealing with this issue for several years, I didn't feel like this book offered any new information. It did reinforce my decision to not allow drugs or substance abuse in my home. It gave some tips on how NOT to enable a substance abuser. The book uses the terms "addiction" and "addict" quite a bit but I believe that not all substance abusers are actual "addicts." Some users have mental health issues that self-medicate with drugs and alcohol and need to address those issues first. I also liked the stories at the end of the book from families who have been through such issues. It's always nice to know that you are not alone.

  2. 5 out of 5

    Elaine C. Pereira

    Admitting to, seeking help for and recovering from any addiction is an amazing accomplishment! And to share with honest transparency one's own battles with raging internal demons is also admirable. But to exquisitely draft one's story in black and white for all to bare witness to and in turn learn from is beyond extraordinary! Former addict Joe Herzanek turned survivor, warrior and counselor along with his wife and co-author Judy, reveal their story in Why Don't They Just Quit. This book is real! Admitting to, seeking help for and recovering from any addiction is an amazing accomplishment! And to share with honest transparency one's own battles with raging internal demons is also admirable. But to exquisitely draft one's story in black and white for all to bare witness to and in turn learn from is beyond extraordinary! Former addict Joe Herzanek turned survivor, warrior and counselor along with his wife and co-author Judy, reveal their story in Why Don't They Just Quit. This book is real! Together as a family and as individuals, they have "walked the walk." The raw, honest, in-your-face openness without excuses or embarrassment is so genuine you can't help but relate to the struggle. We all have internal demons, just to varying degrees. But life-ruining addiction is not a battle to be won without an army along side you and Herzanek knows and admits to this fact. He identifies every manipulation, avoidance, denial, blame game, excuse etc. that addicts use to avoid responsibility. And he knows them all because he has used them all. This self-help book is the 2008 Indie Book Award Winner. It is well written and laden with real effective techniques for families and friends of addicts. What to do and what NOT to do; What to watch for; When and how to help; and so much more. I especially appreciated his straight forward, user-friendly approach; at times I felt like Joe was in talking to me in real time. The book is for everyone and anyone struggling not only with addictive personalities but also basic challenging parenting issues My favorites simple but powerful messages are: "Do you love your child enough to let him be mad at you? Don Williams "When you blame others, you give up your power to change." Robert Anthony

  3. 4 out of 5

    Holli Kenley

    I just finished reading the 2nd Edition of "Why Don't They Just Quit?"Joe Herzanek. Of all the recovery books I have read on addiction and recovery, there has not been one that equals this one in scope, in sequence of organizational formatting, and in its informative, experiential, and common sense approach. I think it is often a challenge, for an author who is integrating life experiences into his self-help book, to do so with an objectivity and openness to the myriad of complex recovery theori I just finished reading the 2nd Edition of "Why Don't They Just Quit?"Joe Herzanek. Of all the recovery books I have read on addiction and recovery, there has not been one that equals this one in scope, in sequence of organizational formatting, and in its informative, experiential, and common sense approach. I think it is often a challenge, for an author who is integrating life experiences into his self-help book, to do so with an objectivity and openness to the myriad of complex recovery theories, methods, and approaches. Joe Herzanek does so with clarity, completeness, and concrete strategies for finding one’s way through a maze of pain and with sound practical steps for moving forward. The new chapters in the 2nd Edition bring additional depth and dimension into relevant topics such as marijuana, heroin, stigma and shame, and harm reduction. I'm very pleased to see a "Chapter to the Christian" - one which opens up a much needed conversation about addiction within our faith-based communities and how to address it more effectively. Although I felt that every section of “Why Don’t They Quit” was extremely important, if I had to choose just one, it would be Part 4 – Life in Recovery. This is a partly due to my own professional and personal view about recovering. I love this quote by Joe, “I like to say that life is an odyssey, an extended adventure with peaks and valleys. A person in recovery can use this time to find greater life purpose and be healthy enough to help others fight the battle of addiction. This is a great way to think about life in recovery.” I believe that if we all applied that philosophy to life in general – as we all experience injury as well as joy in everyday living – we would spend less time in the pain-field and more time seeking its purpose and meaning. I also strongly support the concept of a holistic approach to recovery that Mr. Herzanek shares in Part 4 – addressing the body, the mind, and the spirit. At a time when there are so much focus on a singular quick fix solution to our illnesses, diseases, and challenges, I was so impressed by the time and attention that Herzanek gives to this critical piece in recovering. Step by step, he guides the reader through a myriad of practical healing tools and strategies while blending them into a comprehensive and complimentary process. And although I am quite familiar with the topic of relapse, I was highly impressed with Chapter 30 in which Mr. Herzanek addresses this essential topic – “Relapse: Plan on It”. I appreciate how he normalizes it as a part of recovery, and yet makes clear that there are solid steps to take in minimizing it and preparing for it. With the shame that accompanies relapse, there is no need to pile more layers of guilt and self-blame. Mr. Herzanek once again provides us with clear insight into its causes with common sense tools for moving through it without shaming the reader in the process! Lastly, In Part 4, I was incredibly moved by the Conclusion where Mr. Herzanek writes: “I have heard story after story from addicts about how unfair life can be. But regardless of the amount of unfairness we have experienced, we must make peace with it – or allow us to destroy us. The choice is ours.” I think so many individuals who have been wronged (by themselves or by others) wait around for someone else to make it right or make it go away. And the longer we wait, the longer we hold ourselves hostage to our circumstances. And, we remain sick. Every fiber in my being agrees with Mr. Herzanek for I have witnessed it many times with former clients and in my personal life. While so many things are out of our control, our wellness it not. And finally as an overall comment, I really appreciate how Mr. Herzanek not only brought in soulful quotations from famous as well as infamous individuals, but I was moved by how he blended in the short anecdotes from his wife, his mother, his former wife, his daughter, his son, and from himself. For anyone who is living the nightmare of addiction – as a family member or friend of an addict – there is no better way to feel understood and comforted than to know that someone else has traveled in your shoes. And, there is no better way to instill hope. I often say and write, “Wellness awaits each of us. We choose the time.” Get a copy of “Why Don’t They Just Quit?” Your wellness awaits you – it is right here in this book. Grab hold of your recovery and don’t let go! Holli Kenley, M.A., MFT Breaking Through Betrayal: And Recovering The Peace Within 2nd Edition Mountain Air: Relapsing and Finding the Way Back... One Breath at a Time

  4. 4 out of 5

    John Newton

    Why Don't They Just Quit? By Joe Herzanek There are a great many books on addiction and recovery, and a lot of them are given the accolades `must read', or `essential reading'. It is refreshing to read a book that thoroughly deserves this kind of praise. In fairness a lot of the material read by this recovering addict has been academic in nature and very heavy going. This book, whose author obviously knows his subject, is very unmistakably intended to reach a much wider audience than the academic, Why Don't They Just Quit? By Joe Herzanek There are a great many books on addiction and recovery, and a lot of them are given the accolades `must read', or `essential reading'. It is refreshing to read a book that thoroughly deserves this kind of praise. In fairness a lot of the material read by this recovering addict has been academic in nature and very heavy going. This book, whose author obviously knows his subject, is very unmistakably intended to reach a much wider audience than the academic, or even the addict. The book, while it contains much important information and help for the recovering addict or alcoholic, clearly has another important aim: to give aid, guidance and support to the families and loved ones of those suffering with addiction. It is extremely readable and the layout is easy on the eye, with the book being divided into five different parts, with seven or eight chapters in each part, and a helpful overview at the end. This all makes it a very good tool for diving in and out of, to find the information you need, without necessarily reading it from cover to cover, although I would recommend that you do. It's difficult to pick out favourite chapters, there are so many of them I learned much from. The short chapter in part one entitled `Why do we all take drugs?' talks about the ability of drugs and alcohol to increase pleasure and decrease pain, and how this fills our need for instant gratification. So obvious when you see it on the page, but not so in real life, how many of us actually have ever stopped to think about why we do what we do. I know I never did. Chapter five goes on to talk about the different stages of addiction; from `use' to `abuse' to `addiction'. It describes signs that may become apparent to family or friends when the user moves through these different stages. Changes in attitude of the person concerned, the substance of choice becoming more important to the user, and problems occurring at work or at home or even with the law. One of the common misconceptions of the addict is that nobody knows about their problem, it's their secret. This chapter clearly shows that the user starts to show outward signs of their problem to others, long before they realize it themselves. My favourite part of this remarkable book is the section on Questions and Answers with Joe, Brilliantly done, with some of the answers, those about whether or not addiction is a willpower problem, or if relapse means failure, requiring a paragraph or two to answer, and some, notably those about whether or not it's a good idea to use weed when in recovery from other substances, just requiring a simple but emphatic `No'! Towards the end of the book there is a chapter entitled `Real Stories, Real People', which tell the moving real life tales of people suffering with addictions, and the struggle of those loved ones around them trying to help. This section contains the story of the authors' wife Judy (who also writes the foreword at the beginning of the book), and the problems she had with alcohol in her past. This part of the book, along with the question and answer chapter definitely come under the heading of `essential reading'. The book is interspersed with quotations from the Bible, the AA and famous and not so famous people. They are pleasingly displayed in grey boxes throughout and contain quotes from people as contrasting as George Bernard Shaw, President Bill Clinton and Ozzy Osbourne. Some of them are amusing, others more serious, and all of them pertinent. I cannot recommend this book highly enough. Joe Herzaneks' skill, knowledge, humanity and life experiences shine through its pages. In its title it poses a question that many thousands of people must ask every day, and then answers it, along with many other questions, in an intelligent, understandable and beautifully written fashion. For anyone struggling with addiction, or for those with family members suffering this devastating disease, or for folk who are just curious about why addicts do what they do, and what addiction can do to them and to others, this is, most definitely, a must read book. John T. Newton Author, Demons in the Dark, An Alcoholic's Tale

  5. 5 out of 5

    Judy Herzanek

    This life-changing, award winning book is a proven resource for family and friends, giving practical solutions and the tools they need to help anyone struggling with alcohol or drugs. Although there are many books available to help the recovering person, there are very few that speak to those on the "outside", who want to help, but don't know where to begin. This could be just the resource they are looking for. "Just got my books. I'm previewing it and just hit a "Thank you, Lord!" moment on page This life-changing, award winning book is a proven resource for family and friends, giving practical solutions and the tools they need to help anyone struggling with alcohol or drugs. Although there are many books available to help the recovering person, there are very few that speak to those on the "outside", who want to help, but don't know where to begin. This could be just the resource they are looking for. "Just got my books. I'm previewing it and just hit a "Thank you, Lord!" moment on page 105 about raising the bottom. I have wondered about that idea for some time now, but couldn't seem to find professionals nor support groups who I felt were smart enough to answer my questions. I could continue, but to keep it short: Bless you all for putting out these resources!" -Robb B, Pineville, NC Proven solutions that can be used now! You will learn: · Why a person doesn't have to hit rock-bottom before getting help. (page 105) · When helping is actually hurting. (page 56) · Why quitting is not the same as recovering. (page 6) · How to deal with a relapse.(page183) · How to receive 50 percent or more off the cost of treatment. (page 95) · Why a parent would leave their child due to their addiction. (page 241) · Why effective intervention doesn't have to be a surprise attack. (page 52) Answers to over 30 common, and not so common questions. Watching a loved one immersed in an intense battle with alcohol and drug abuse may be the most difficult, complex and harrowing experience you'll ever have. This book offers a message of hope to families and friends, giving practical solutions so they can help anyone struggling with addiction to begin the road to recovery. "Reading this book during the time I was married to an addict would have saved me many days of suffering and stress. Anyone close to an addict should read Why Don't They Just Quit?" -Marilyn Russell (Registered Nurse) Boulder, Colorado "This is a must read . . . a book about truth, commitment, consequences, and a belief that things can change. It describes the complexity of drug addiction and the scars it leaves, along with practical solutions that can be implemented today." -Magistrate Judge Tijani R. Cole, Ph.D., J.D. Boulder District Court, Boulder, Colorado "Many of you reading this book are facing the battle of your life. Alcohol and drugs consumed my daughter's life. I can't put into words-the anguish of attending my daughter's funeral. I wish I would have had this book long ago. Maybe Mia would still be here. I didn't know how to help her. Why Don't They JUST QUIT? is full of answers I could have used." -Pam M. (Mia's Mom), Niwot, Colorado

  6. 4 out of 5

    Lynne

    I bought this book to read as a resource for how to best help and cope with teens I have in school. So many of my students have drug and/or alcohol issues, ranging from minor and experimental to full-blown addictions. The author of this book relates his expertise, stemming from not only his professional career as an addictions counselor but also from his own personal addiction and recovery story. The book was both a comfort and a disappointment for me. It was comforting in that what it said conf I bought this book to read as a resource for how to best help and cope with teens I have in school. So many of my students have drug and/or alcohol issues, ranging from minor and experimental to full-blown addictions. The author of this book relates his expertise, stemming from not only his professional career as an addictions counselor but also from his own personal addiction and recovery story. The book was both a comfort and a disappointment for me. It was comforting in that what it said confirmed what I already knew, or had figured out on my own, based on my experiences with my students. It was disappointing because it didn't seem to give me advice or direction beyond what I already do or have done out of gut instinct. The biggest disappointment came from the fact that most of the book focused on the importance of family support and boundaries; seeing as how I am not family of the ones I am concerned about, and have no control (and honestly, little faith) of the families of these kids, it served to only make me feel more like I'm fighting an uphill battle. However, the book would be very helpful to anyone actually dealing with a family member, and who has little insight or experience with these issues.

  7. 4 out of 5

    Annica

    Whether you suffer from addiction or substance abuse yourself or are affected by someone in your family or surrounding this is an absolute must read. Joe is a recovering addict himself with many years experience counselling other addicts and his own son succumbed to addiction in his late teens so Joe really has seen all aspects of this horrible disease. If I have to pick one thing that I learned from this book which I hadn't found in others (and I've read a few) it was the concept of 'raising the Whether you suffer from addiction or substance abuse yourself or are affected by someone in your family or surrounding this is an absolute must read. Joe is a recovering addict himself with many years experience counselling other addicts and his own son succumbed to addiction in his late teens so Joe really has seen all aspects of this horrible disease. If I have to pick one thing that I learned from this book which I hadn't found in others (and I've read a few) it was the concept of 'raising the bottom'. Most information on drug and alcohol addiction will tell you that the addict must reach their own, personal rock bottom before they themselves want to stop (and if they don't want to stop they won't). Joe introduces the idea of raising the bottom rather than standing by helplessly waiting for a loved one (including yourself) to reach the lowest of low. Since you don't know what might be the trigger for the addict to want to quit, as a relative or friend you can keep introducing 'intervention' points and possible triggers and abstain from 'enabling' in order that the addict reaches their 'bottom' quicker. As Joe says when he lets his son spend the night in jail (rather than bailing him out) 'It's rare for anyone to die of a drug overdose in jail'.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Denise Spooner

    Of all the educational material I have scoured and devoured over the past eight months, nothing has been as exhaustive in truth and information as "Why Don't They Just Quit!" After reading the book, watching the "DVD Roundtable Discussion" and to the answers to some of the tough questions asked by family and friends I am convinced "Why Don't They Just Quit" will leave you informed, educated and at peace about what to do next to help your loved one or friend. I have experienced the journey of addi Of all the educational material I have scoured and devoured over the past eight months, nothing has been as exhaustive in truth and information as "Why Don't They Just Quit!" After reading the book, watching the "DVD Roundtable Discussion" and to the answers to some of the tough questions asked by family and friends I am convinced "Why Don't They Just Quit" will leave you informed, educated and at peace about what to do next to help your loved one or friend. I have experienced the journey of addiction and substance abuse alongside a close family member and have found Joe Herzanek's book and DVD's to be helpful, comforting and empowering. Knowing the truth about addiction and substance abuse is of utmost importance in order to lend a helping hand without enabling, offer advice that is both truthful and can be highly effective in the life of the addict and can bring peace to your soul as you witness the life of someone you know being changed dramatically by drug addiction or substance abuse. Joe Herzanek tells us "Addiction only gets worse." No household should be without this life-changing literature. I firmly believe "Why Can't They Just Quit! along with the DVD series can possibly save the life of your loved one or friend.

  9. 4 out of 5

    Barbara Stoefen

    Joe Herzanek’s book, Why Don’t They Just Quit? will be a treasured resource for anyone wanting to better understand addiction. Joe makes a complicated subject easy to understand, and he offers a wealth of wisdom from one who has “been there.” Divided into sections, the book first talks about drug use in general, why people use drugs, and why casual use can sometimes turns into addiction for some. There is a section for families which covers what we can do to help, and what we shouldn’t do to help Joe Herzanek’s book, Why Don’t They Just Quit? will be a treasured resource for anyone wanting to better understand addiction. Joe makes a complicated subject easy to understand, and he offers a wealth of wisdom from one who has “been there.” Divided into sections, the book first talks about drug use in general, why people use drugs, and why casual use can sometimes turns into addiction for some. There is a section for families which covers what we can do to help, and what we shouldn’t do to help. The sections about treatment and recovery are very instructive, and I found all of my questions being answered. In fact, the final Q&A section was especially excellent. Joe has a very straightforward approach and he answers with clarity the pressing questions we all have. If you buy just a few books on addiction, this should be one of them. I sure wish Why Don’t They Just Quit? had been around when I was struggling with addiction in our family. Barbara Cofer Stoefen Author, A Very Fine House: A Mother’s Story of Love, Faith and Crystal Meth

  10. 5 out of 5

    Mary

    Really informative for anyone dealing with the addicted.

  11. 5 out of 5

    Rosemary Rethman

    great book.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Cheryl

    More of the same.

  13. 5 out of 5

    Lauren

    A lot of the information is very basic, this is only for people who know absolutely nothing about addiction.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Joshua Lawson

    I'm sure this book has helped many families who are new to the problem of addiction, but it didn't come close to fulfilling its promise of containing insight that can't be found elsewhere. I'm sure this book has helped many families who are new to the problem of addiction, but it didn't come close to fulfilling its promise of containing insight that can't be found elsewhere.

  15. 4 out of 5

    Shannon

  16. 5 out of 5

    Paul

  17. 4 out of 5

    Pamela K Oliver

  18. 4 out of 5

    Amy Kenney

  19. 4 out of 5

    Linda Albert

  20. 5 out of 5

    Roseann Drucker

  21. 4 out of 5

    Misskdice

  22. 4 out of 5

    Theoderik Trajanson

  23. 5 out of 5

    JEFFREY W KISTER

  24. 4 out of 5

    Michael Halko

  25. 5 out of 5

    Jennifer Laffond

  26. 4 out of 5

    Barbara Bice

  27. 4 out of 5

    Melanie Payne

  28. 5 out of 5

    Angela

  29. 5 out of 5

    Kimberley

  30. 4 out of 5

    Aynne Daugherty

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