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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts—Becoming the Person You Want to Be

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Bestselling author and one of the world’s foremost executive coaches, Marshall Goldsmith examines the emotional and psychological triggers that cause us to react and behave in certain preset, often inappropriate ways at work and in life. Triggers shows us how to break that cycle and enact meaningful change.In Triggers, renown executive coach and psychologist Marshall Golds Bestselling author and one of the world’s foremost executive coaches, Marshall Goldsmith examines the emotional and psychological triggers that cause us to react and behave in certain preset, often inappropriate ways at work and in life. Triggers shows us how to break that cycle and enact meaningful change.In Triggers, renown executive coach and psychologist Marshall Goldsmith discusses the emotional triggers that set off a reaction or a behavior in us that often works to our detriment. Do you find that at times you suddenly become defensive or enraged by an idle comment from a colleague? Or that your temper rises when another car cuts you off in traffic? Your reactions don’t occur in a vacuum. They are the result of emotional and psychological triggers that often happen only in specific settings—at meetings, or in competitive situations, or with a specific person who rubs you the wrong way, or when you feel under particular pressure. Being able to recognize those triggers and understand how the environment affects our behavior is key to controlling our responses and managing others at work and in life. Make no mistake—change is hard. And the starting point is the willingness to accept help, and the desire to change. This book will show you how.Over the course of this book, Marshall explores the power of active questions to get us to take responsibility for our actions—and our failure to act. Questions such as “Did I do my best to make progress toward my goal?” “Did I work hard at being fully engaged?” He discusses the importance of structure in effecting permanent change. Because, he points out, change is hard, and without a structure to keep us on track, we inevitably relapse and fall back.Filled with illuminating stories from Marshall’s work with some of the most accomplished executives and leaders in America, Triggers shows readers how to achieve meaningful and sustained change that will allow us to open our imaginations and escape the rigidity of binary thinking.


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Bestselling author and one of the world’s foremost executive coaches, Marshall Goldsmith examines the emotional and psychological triggers that cause us to react and behave in certain preset, often inappropriate ways at work and in life. Triggers shows us how to break that cycle and enact meaningful change.In Triggers, renown executive coach and psychologist Marshall Golds Bestselling author and one of the world’s foremost executive coaches, Marshall Goldsmith examines the emotional and psychological triggers that cause us to react and behave in certain preset, often inappropriate ways at work and in life. Triggers shows us how to break that cycle and enact meaningful change.In Triggers, renown executive coach and psychologist Marshall Goldsmith discusses the emotional triggers that set off a reaction or a behavior in us that often works to our detriment. Do you find that at times you suddenly become defensive or enraged by an idle comment from a colleague? Or that your temper rises when another car cuts you off in traffic? Your reactions don’t occur in a vacuum. They are the result of emotional and psychological triggers that often happen only in specific settings—at meetings, or in competitive situations, or with a specific person who rubs you the wrong way, or when you feel under particular pressure. Being able to recognize those triggers and understand how the environment affects our behavior is key to controlling our responses and managing others at work and in life. Make no mistake—change is hard. And the starting point is the willingness to accept help, and the desire to change. This book will show you how.Over the course of this book, Marshall explores the power of active questions to get us to take responsibility for our actions—and our failure to act. Questions such as “Did I do my best to make progress toward my goal?” “Did I work hard at being fully engaged?” He discusses the importance of structure in effecting permanent change. Because, he points out, change is hard, and without a structure to keep us on track, we inevitably relapse and fall back.Filled with illuminating stories from Marshall’s work with some of the most accomplished executives and leaders in America, Triggers shows readers how to achieve meaningful and sustained change that will allow us to open our imaginations and escape the rigidity of binary thinking.

30 review for Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts—Becoming the Person You Want to Be

  1. 4 out of 5

    Dennis Fischman

    Marshall Goldsmith suggests that each day, we ask ourselves six questions: 1. Did I do my best to set clear goals today? 2. Did I do my best to make progress toward my goals today? 3. Did I do my best to find meaning today? 4. Did I do my best to be happy today? 5. Did I do my best to build positive relationships today? 6. Did I do my best to be fully engaged today? The rest of the book discusses what it means to do these six things, why it's so hard to keep focused on them, why it's important anyway, Marshall Goldsmith suggests that each day, we ask ourselves six questions: 1. Did I do my best to set clear goals today? 2. Did I do my best to make progress toward my goals today? 3. Did I do my best to find meaning today? 4. Did I do my best to be happy today? 5. Did I do my best to build positive relationships today? 6. Did I do my best to be fully engaged today? The rest of the book discusses what it means to do these six things, why it's so hard to keep focused on them, why it's important anyway, and how we can structure our lives to make asking these questions (and answering them in the positive) more likely. Oddly, the "did I do my best" part doesn't take us off the hook. It keeps us honest. If I ask "Did I make progress toward my goals today?", I could say "No, too many other things interrupted me, I didn't have the time." But if I ask "Did I do my best," it forces me to examine what I could have done within those conditions to make progress toward my goals. And it pushes me toward thinking about how I can change the conditions that bar me from making progress. The book is aimed at a privileged audience (corporate executives) whose major obstacles lie within their own personalities and habits. It is going to be less useful for the majority of us who face objective obstacles. And it never addresses the question of competing goals: for instance, what if spending time with my wife "building positive relationships" conflicts with my goal of getting new consulting clients? When it comes down to it, everybody is going to have to choose sometimes...and those choices shape the person you become, whether or not it's "the person you want to be." Still, I found the book (a quick read) useful because it gives me a way of making decisions rather than letting the environment make them for me. Read the intro, skim the book, let your eyes rest on a few of the many illustrative stories, and you will be in a position to decide if you will benefit from reading it too.

  2. 4 out of 5

    ☘Misericordia☘ ⚡ϟ⚡⛈⚡☁ ❇️❤❣

    A really good read on how to improve on a lot of stuff.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Ryan

    Nothing substantive here beyond basic will power. Some people just don't have it.. and need coached? Seems like it's really bent towards naive, well-to-do, spoiled-rotten exec types. Not geared towards anyone who has ever had to make an ounce of budget decisions in regards to food or housing. Nothing substantive here beyond basic will power. Some people just don't have it.. and need coached? Seems like it's really bent towards naive, well-to-do, spoiled-rotten exec types. Not geared towards anyone who has ever had to make an ounce of budget decisions in regards to food or housing.

  4. 5 out of 5

    Yodamom

    4.5Very interesting look at what triggers us to act or react certain ways. I breezed through not taking time to practice the techniques and I still grasped some of the loops the author presented. Many of the stories do involve corporate persons but they are easily transferred to any person from corporate to home. I enjoyed the stories, the easy to follow steps and the tempo of the book. This is one I will re-read several times

  5. 4 out of 5

    Ron Mcintyre

    While there are no innovative thoughts, it does contain a wealth of practical, actionable steps that people can use to change and grow. I will be adapting some of his logic with my clients because they are down to earth and focused. Developing into leaders that help shape the 21st century is no easy task and we can use all the help that people can provide. This book provides some excellent tidbits. The best takeaway for me was: "When we dive all the way into adult behavioral change-with 100% foc While there are no innovative thoughts, it does contain a wealth of practical, actionable steps that people can use to change and grow. I will be adapting some of his logic with my clients because they are down to earth and focused. Developing into leaders that help shape the 21st century is no easy task and we can use all the help that people can provide. This book provides some excellent tidbits. The best takeaway for me was: "When we dive all the way into adult behavioral change-with 100% focus and energy = we become an irresistible force rather then the proverbial immovable object. We begin to change our environment rather than be changed by it. The people around us sense this. We have become the trigger." Thanks to Marshall for writing this book.

  6. 4 out of 5

    Steven

    Gave me lots to think about, lots to try, and made me recognize lots of things I can work on to improve my life and interpersonal relationships.

  7. 4 out of 5

    Helen Wilfehrt

    I finished this book faster than any other I've started reading recently. The writing is straight forward and easy to read. The topic may be a "doh" to some but to those of us used to living in our heads, either intellectually or emotionally, or both, there is a certain "aha" sensation that can be derived from the author's teachings. I found his perspective and manner of putting things to be quite helpful me as I navigate my life. I finished this book faster than any other I've started reading recently. The writing is straight forward and easy to read. The topic may be a "doh" to some but to those of us used to living in our heads, either intellectually or emotionally, or both, there is a certain "aha" sensation that can be derived from the author's teachings. I found his perspective and manner of putting things to be quite helpful me as I navigate my life.

  8. 5 out of 5

    Kathleen

    Yes, this book has "executives" as its focus. No, it doesn't matter. Marshall Goldsmith, a management consultant, explains how to develop and maintain good habits -- and it's all about certain kinds of mindfulness and structure. Yes, this book has "executives" as its focus. No, it doesn't matter. Marshall Goldsmith, a management consultant, explains how to develop and maintain good habits -- and it's all about certain kinds of mindfulness and structure.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Wendy Bunnell

    There is a group at my office who reads and discusses business books a couple times a year. This was our latest book, and I just finished. The "Reader Leaders" group usually has bigger turnout for our Ted Talk meetings or shorter articles than for full books, so it will be interesting to see how many of my coworkers make it through this one. It was ok. I liked the information presented, even though it wasn't anything groundbreaking. I liked the 6 questions and the intentional phrasing of "have I There is a group at my office who reads and discusses business books a couple times a year. This was our latest book, and I just finished. The "Reader Leaders" group usually has bigger turnout for our Ted Talk meetings or shorter articles than for full books, so it will be interesting to see how many of my coworkers make it through this one. It was ok. I liked the information presented, even though it wasn't anything groundbreaking. I liked the 6 questions and the intentional phrasing of "have I done my best today to . . . " which puts the emphasis on yourself and your efforts and your actions, rather than external forces or results of your actions. It's a good thought. I have post it notes on a couple of pages, including the whole concept of "Am I Willing At This Time" or AIWATT. The parable of the empty boat reminds me of the parable of the cow in the parking lot, which was the subject of a self-help book that I actually enjoyed a lot more, which gave a nice introduction to Zen Buddhism and was called The Cow In The Parking Lot. What's not as great in Triggers is the smug attitude of the author which seeps through and annoys in a distracting manner. He's very successful. He sells books and gives speeches for a living. But he knows absolutely nothing about most of his readers, me included, as most of us will never be engaging him for personal coaching services, but he certainly acts like he knows everything about everyone. I've read plenty of books about people who are the absolutely best at everything. Right now I'm still reading The Wise Man's Fear: Kingkiller Chronicles Day 2 by Patrick Rothfuss. That book is over a thousand pages long and has a fabulously interesting fantasy universe plot. It's taking me forever to read though as the protagonist is annoyingly described as "the most interesting man in the world" but I think Marshall Goldsmith is giving Kvoth a run for it. Some examples: 1. He finds overweight people completely weak and unacceptable, while admitting that he's never carried extra weight. There are so many examples of this smug attitude and lack of compassion or understanding for his clients or overweight people in general, but the most glaring example is in the footnote on page 214 when complaining about compliance issues, settling for "good enough" and wondering: "why doctors let patients get away with this misbehavior [of not losing weight]". Since when are doctors deputized by some looming overlord to prevent people from "getting away" with eating? Using his own book's concept, people may decide they are not AWIATT to change their life just to lose weight as they might have something even more important than this. Apparently that is not an acceptable choice, as no fatties allowed in the Goldsmith realm. 2. Unnecessary judgment sails through almost every chapter in this book. Among the things not worthy of human pursuit for Goldsmith includes one of my hobbies, which is writing book reviews. I'm not too concerned that Goldsmith is going to read this review because he went on a quite a long rant about what a waste a time a client of his engaged in while writing a negative review of a book. The only valid point in Goldsmith's diatribe against his client's negative review of a book was that by spending so much time writing a review of something that annoyed his client, the author of the book actually took up more real estate in that client's mind, which impacted the client much more than the author. This is counterproductive for the client as he could have just moved on. While I agree that holding on to anger or seeking revenge is ultimately more damaging for the aggrieved than the perceived source, Goldsmith's broad condemnation of the entire field of literary (or film, or product, or any type of) criticism and commentary is just ignorant. He doesn't acknowledge any merit to the whole field, which I think can be both art and helpful basis of data for potential customers. I write a lot of book reviews. Most of mine are actually positive. I'm not going to spend more than an hour writing this review, which is significantly less time than it took me to read the book. It gives me closure, and I like having an audience. Maybe it wouldn't have any value to you and who you are, Goldsmith, but I'm not you. 3. And finally, on the same theme, he gives such pithy advise along the line of (this is not an exact quote, but the outfit is spot on) "if you wear anything other than khakis and a green polo shirt every day, you're wasting time and money on clothes." Seriously dude, if I ever left the house in khakis and a green polo shirt, I'd consider the day a complete failure and go back to bed. You don't know me. I don't want to be you. Maybe you should try a 6 question every day approach to trying to see if you've done your best to try to consider being someone besides yourself before giving blanket advice to the public. Have I read my book and thought "how would someone not me perceive this screed against x which really is a choice and not that important"? I liked the change approach, the questions, the reminder of the empty boat, and the internal locus of control focus on this approach. I just didn't like Goldsmith. Sorry dude.

  10. 4 out of 5

    Jennifer Ridgway

    This review originally appeared on Everyday eBook Become a Better You: Triggers by Marshall Goldsmith Change is hard. Change is even harder when you are trying to modify your behavior. Habits have become a popular subject in books; it seems as though we are always trying to find the easy way to change them, whether it is quitting smoking, starting a new exercise program, or becoming a more active, positive contributor during our work meetings. Marshall Goldsmith's latest book, Triggers: Creating B This review originally appeared on Everyday eBook Become a Better You: Triggers by Marshall Goldsmith Change is hard. Change is even harder when you are trying to modify your behavior. Habits have become a popular subject in books; it seems as though we are always trying to find the easy way to change them, whether it is quitting smoking, starting a new exercise program, or becoming a more active, positive contributor during our work meetings. Marshall Goldsmith's latest book, Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts - Becoming the Person You Want to Be, tackles this subject head-on in an insightful, practical way. Goldsmith is a bestselling business author and leading executive coach to American CEOs, so he brings a wealth of stories and examples as well as years of experience to the book. Triggers focuses in on exactly what the title says: the triggers in your life that lead you to behave the way you do. As he points out, we so often dismiss the major role that our environment plays, and, unfortunately, there are many things about our environment that we cannot change or control. However, we can learn to manage how we react. Goldsmith presents both the how and why to identify and move beyond our triggers. As you would expect, the beginning of the book is about the triggers - what they are, how to identify them, the different types, and how they work. He discusses the barriers to change: the things that make it hard to change our behavior, despite our best intentions. He then presents the Wheel of Change, an easy-to-understand graphic that can be utilized to help us identify how we can go about changing. The second part of the book is all about trying to make the change. As he points out, the most important thing about making a change is trying. Unfortunately, for the vast majority of us, the idea of trying has become associated with failing as we've aged, rather than associated with success, as it was when we were children. But real change takes time; there is no silver bullet to get through the process overnight. One of the key components to trying is accountability, which Goldsmith addresses through daily, engaging active questions. These questions put the onus on you, rather than providing a way to answer in a way that blames other people or your environment. The other important aspect of this is the requirement that someone else ask you the questions. This person can merely record the scores and not say anything, or they can be fully engaged with you along the way (or somewhere in the middle). The third part of the book is about the importance of structure in any attempt to change. The daily questions are a core structural element that the book advocates. Structure also helps us with some of the roadblocks we face. For example, we all face the Influence of Depletion. As the day goes on, our energy begins to wane, but we are usually unaware of its influence. Recognizing its influence can help us put more structures in place to combat it. You may be questioning the need for another book about habits. Triggers is a great complement to some of the bestselling titles already in print (e.g., The Power of Habit and Better than Before). It provides some very practical exercises to put in place to achieve change and sustain it for the long term. Even better, Goldsmith illustrates how it all works with real-life examples, both business and personal. Whether you are trying to become a better leader, employee, spouse, or parent, Triggers provides a great blueprint to making lasting changes.

  11. 5 out of 5

    Catherine Read

    I'm a Marshall Goldmsith fan. I loved his book "What Got You Here, Won't Get You There" and have recommended it to many people. This book is useful only if you are focused on wanting to get more out of your life. It's one of those instances where the student needs to be ready in order for the teacher to appear. Those who read it with no intention of actually changing anything about how they think or structure their days will quite likely miss the point of this book. While Goldsmith is indeed a v I'm a Marshall Goldmsith fan. I loved his book "What Got You Here, Won't Get You There" and have recommended it to many people. This book is useful only if you are focused on wanting to get more out of your life. It's one of those instances where the student needs to be ready in order for the teacher to appear. Those who read it with no intention of actually changing anything about how they think or structure their days will quite likely miss the point of this book. While Goldsmith is indeed a very successful "Executive Coach" we are all the executives of our own lives. So move past the title to the material. It's not that this work is groundbreaking or provides some secret formula, it's designed to help us organize, prioritize and identify what matters to us. His questions focus on what gives our life meaning and value and how we can structure our days to support those things we have identified as priorities. It's simple, but not easy. True of so many things in life. I found it helpful. I'm at a "sorting out" place in my life where I want more structure, more meaning and a better defined purpose. There are lots of moving parts to actually figuring that out. Here are six questions he suggests we ask ourselves everyday to stay on track in meeting our own self defined priorities: 1. Did I do my best to set clear goals today? 2. Did I do my best to make progress toward my goals today? 3. Did I do my best to find meaning today? 4. Did I do my best to be happy today? 5. Did I do my best to build positive relationships today? 6. Did I do my best to be fully engaged today? Notice it's about measuring effort over outcome. It makes sense that consistent effort produces the outcomes we want. We don't just leapfrog over the process to meeting our goals and arrive at success. I definitely walked away with ideas for habits and routines I would like to cultivate. To that end, this book was well worth the time invested.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Sherry

    Blah. No. Just no. I couldn't get into this book so I quickly gave up on it despite an intriguing book jacket summary that wooed me to explore how if you can identify "situational triggers" you can change your behavior. That's a good premise. The author Marshall Goldsmith has years of experience as an executive coach, so I don't doubt his idea. But he has a certain style--a certain je nais se quoi about him that is off putting. I don't want to waste my time forcing myself to read this book as a Blah. No. Just no. I couldn't get into this book so I quickly gave up on it despite an intriguing book jacket summary that wooed me to explore how if you can identify "situational triggers" you can change your behavior. That's a good premise. The author Marshall Goldsmith has years of experience as an executive coach, so I don't doubt his idea. But he has a certain style--a certain je nais se quoi about him that is off putting. I don't want to waste my time forcing myself to read this book as a result. I'm moving on.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Nora-Kate

    The first 3 chapters of this book were very strong and easy to follow and completely applicable to anyone with behavior, and I had really excited positive feelings thinking that eventhough this is written with those in business in mind I'm so excited that it could bring understanding to even a full time mom like me (as I was recommended it by another mom). Plus, it is a goal of mine to read more non-fiction this year. But this wasn't to be. By chapter 6 or 7 this book took a very sharp and comple The first 3 chapters of this book were very strong and easy to follow and completely applicable to anyone with behavior, and I had really excited positive feelings thinking that eventhough this is written with those in business in mind I'm so excited that it could bring understanding to even a full time mom like me (as I was recommended it by another mom). Plus, it is a goal of mine to read more non-fiction this year. But this wasn't to be. By chapter 6 or 7 this book took a very sharp and complete turn into business, CEO, and corporate ladder climbing content that left me in its dust and became very disappointing to me as it just does not apply.

  14. 4 out of 5

    Charmin

    HIGHLIGHTS: 1. Good things happen when we ask ourselves what we need to create, preserve, eliminate, and accept – a test I suspect few of us ever self-administer. *Discovering what really matters is a gift, not a burden*. Accept it and see. 2. 1-to-1 Meeting Questions: Where are we going to? Where are you going? What is going well? Where can we improve? How can I help you? How can you help me? 3. When we have structure, we don’t have to make as many choices; we just follow the plan. And the net re HIGHLIGHTS: 1. Good things happen when we ask ourselves what we need to create, preserve, eliminate, and accept – a test I suspect few of us ever self-administer. *Discovering what really matters is a gift, not a burden*. Accept it and see. 2. 1-to-1 Meeting Questions: Where are we going to? Where are you going? What is going well? Where can we improve? How can I help you? How can you help me? 3. When we have structure, we don’t have to make as many choices; we just follow the plan. And the net result is we’re not being depleted as quickly. 4. AIWATT: Am I willing at this time to make the investment required to make a positive difference on this topic? 5. WHEEL of CHANGE: Creating. Preserving. Eliminating. Accepting. 6. At the highest level, a coach is a source of mediation, bridging the gap between the visionary Planner and the short-sighted Doer in us. 7. Forecasting the Environment: Anticipation. Avoid. Adjustments. 8. Daily Questions – reinforce our commitment. They ignite our motivation where we need it, not where we don’t. They highlight the difference between self-discipline and self-control. They shrink our goals into manageable increments. 9. The best we can hope for is consistency in our effort – a persistence of striving – that makes other people more charitable about our shortcomings. 10. We lack the structure to execute our ambitions, we are visionary Planners but blurry-eyed Doers. Awareness and engagement: Trigger - Impulse -- Awareness -- Choice -- Behavior

  15. 4 out of 5

    Mara Vernon

    I found myself disagreeing with some of the content of this book; enough that I really didn't care for the book. Some of the content I find contrary to other researchers in the realm of positive psychology, behavioral change, and wholehearted living. I also found the book overly focused on the author himself. I found myself disagreeing with some of the content of this book; enough that I really didn't care for the book. Some of the content I find contrary to other researchers in the realm of positive psychology, behavioral change, and wholehearted living. I also found the book overly focused on the author himself.

  16. 4 out of 5

    Jurgen Appelo

    Good message, actionable practice, but the endless humility became annoying.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Abbi

    I could not recommend this book more highly! Sometimes self-help books leave you feeling like reading them was a waste of time, but that was not the case with Triggers. There is tons of practical advice in here, and I believe that I am better off for having read this. Daily Questions are now part of my routine, and I have reinvigorated my love for structure. Also, it was perfect timing to read this while trying to make/stick to New Year's resolutions. I could not recommend this book more highly! Sometimes self-help books leave you feeling like reading them was a waste of time, but that was not the case with Triggers. There is tons of practical advice in here, and I believe that I am better off for having read this. Daily Questions are now part of my routine, and I have reinvigorated my love for structure. Also, it was perfect timing to read this while trying to make/stick to New Year's resolutions.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Lada

    Started out reasonably enough: person hits their head and concludes they need to get to know their neighbors and make more friends. I'm totally on board with that. By the end, the book was advocating testing oneself daily on whether one made oneself happy. Sorry, but almost nothing is guaranteed to take away joy from life as that kind of introspection. Also book was pro-juicing (no scientific basis), anti-fat (again no scientific basis), and anti-ice-cream (even if science might back this up, I Started out reasonably enough: person hits their head and concludes they need to get to know their neighbors and make more friends. I'm totally on board with that. By the end, the book was advocating testing oneself daily on whether one made oneself happy. Sorry, but almost nothing is guaranteed to take away joy from life as that kind of introspection. Also book was pro-juicing (no scientific basis), anti-fat (again no scientific basis), and anti-ice-cream (even if science might back this up, I do not want to become a person without ice cream).

  19. 5 out of 5

    Milan

    A few points worth remembering from Triggers by Marshall Goldsmith: • “A trigger is any stimulus that reshapes our thoughts and actions”. • A trigger can be internal or external, direct or indirect, conscious or unconscious, anticipated or unexpected, encouraging or discouraging, and productive or counterproductive. • “If we do not create and control our environment, our environment creates and controls us”. • “We do not appreciate inertia’s power over us”. • “A feedback loop comprises four stages: e A few points worth remembering from Triggers by Marshall Goldsmith: • “A trigger is any stimulus that reshapes our thoughts and actions”. • A trigger can be internal or external, direct or indirect, conscious or unconscious, anticipated or unexpected, encouraging or discouraging, and productive or counterproductive. • “If we do not create and control our environment, our environment creates and controls us”. • “We do not appreciate inertia’s power over us”. • “A feedback loop comprises four stages: evidence, relevance, consequence, and action”. • “Feedback—both the act of giving it and taking it—is our first step in becoming smarter, more mindful about the connection between our environment and our behavior”. • “Self-discipline refers to achieving desirable behavior. Self-control refers to avoiding undesirable behavior”.

  20. 5 out of 5

    Nicki

    I typically read books like this via audiobook so it was interesting to read one in the normal way for once. Although it was a bit self-helpy I really enjoyed Goldsmith, especially his anecdotes about working with various CEOs and power players over the years. What I found unique about this book, as opposed to others in the field, was that Goldsmith works with successful people who are used to their habits and behaviors generally resulting in meeting their goals. So, the advice was tailored to p I typically read books like this via audiobook so it was interesting to read one in the normal way for once. Although it was a bit self-helpy I really enjoyed Goldsmith, especially his anecdotes about working with various CEOs and power players over the years. What I found unique about this book, as opposed to others in the field, was that Goldsmith works with successful people who are used to their habits and behaviors generally resulting in meeting their goals. So, the advice was tailored to people who may be reticent to change because they think their methods are working for them. I also noted a lot of similarities between Goldsmith's advice and Gretchen Rubin's, though they use different terminology.

  21. 4 out of 5

    Cindy Huffman

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I plan to buy both audio and book version, so I can listen again and find the text parts to write for/to myself as reminders. Really, really great stuff to tell yourself what your “triggers” are. I found it to be smart, almost “duh”, that makes so much sense. It’s very self-reflective and makes you think about your own behavior and what you need to do about it (because you can’t control how other people behave, only how you can react to them). I loved it.

  22. 4 out of 5

    Daniel Moholia

    Goldsmith approaches the problem of undesirable behaviour by exploring the triggers (environmental and situational factors) that make us behave in that way. He then lays out several frameworks for planning and reflection in achieving short-term situational change and long-term, lasting change. The book is approachable and draws many parallels between management (in a business) and self-management. A recommended read for those interested in being more intentional in responding to the circumstance Goldsmith approaches the problem of undesirable behaviour by exploring the triggers (environmental and situational factors) that make us behave in that way. He then lays out several frameworks for planning and reflection in achieving short-term situational change and long-term, lasting change. The book is approachable and draws many parallels between management (in a business) and self-management. A recommended read for those interested in being more intentional in responding to the circumstances of life.

  23. 4 out of 5

    Jill Frederickson

    This is an amazing book about Adult behavior change. It addresses goal pursuit and more importantly interpersonal relationship improvement. There are simple and strongly effective tools laid out to try it for yourself. I went back and reread many sections to better understand them and implement them for myself. I suspect that I will be returning to this book and recommending it to others for some time to come.

  24. 5 out of 5

    Robin

    Really interesting and useful. Written in an engaging and easy style - Goldsmith asks the reader to consider who and how he or she wants to be in the world, and shares the strategies he has used with corporate clients to help them reach their goals. (First, how amazing would it be to work for a company that was willing to pay someone to help you with this?) Things I want to remember: Did you do your best to be happy? Did you do your best to find meaning? Did you do your best to build positive relati Really interesting and useful. Written in an engaging and easy style - Goldsmith asks the reader to consider who and how he or she wants to be in the world, and shares the strategies he has used with corporate clients to help them reach their goals. (First, how amazing would it be to work for a company that was willing to pay someone to help you with this?) Things I want to remember: Did you do your best to be happy? Did you do your best to find meaning? Did you do your best to build positive relationships with people? Did you do your best to be fully engaged? Did I do my best to set clear goals today? Did I do my best to make progress toward my goals today? Did I do my best to find meaning today? Did I do my best to be happy today? Did I do my best to build positive relationships today? Did I do my best to be fully engaged today? Also, to remember: All those petty annoyances - the rude customer, the stonewalling service rep on the phone, the driver that cuts you off on the highway - none of them are even thinking about you. They're unaware of you, don't care about you, and didn't set out that day to bug you. Getting upset with them doesn't help you. Find a way to calm down and move on. "Our mission in life should be to make a positive difference, not to prove how smart or right we are." "Every decision in the world is made by the person who has the power to make the decision. Make peace with that." Is this battle worth fighting? (Fight the battles worth fighting; let the others go.) The other really helpful suggestion Goldsmith has is to tell someone what you are working on and to schedule a daily, brief conversation with that person so that they can ask you the questions that pertain to the improvement you're working towards. A daily check in to help keep this in your consciousness and in your effort. I love mornings. Every day, I wake up with a renewed sense of what the day can be, what it might bring, and how it's another chance. I think of this, attributed to Neil deGrasse Tyson: For me, I am driven by two main philosophies: know more today about the world than I knew yesterday and lessen the suffering of others. You'd be surprised how far that gets you. I try this every day. Sometimes I succeed, more times I fail. But I'll definitely be adding working on positive relationships and not fighting unnecessary battles (and not needing to prove how smart or right I am in every setting). I would recommend this book to anyone who works in a team or with the public and is looking for a little coaching that does not contain creepy jargon or require you to sign on with anything cultish.

  25. 5 out of 5

    Brandi

    Nudges. Being aware of the affordances of our environment. The Fundamental Attribution Error. Ego depletion...parts of this book read like a slightly outdated rehashing of Psychology 101. But parts of it were really intriguing to me, if only because he and I have mulled over a lot of the same questions--how do you get adults to change their behavior?--and independently built a lot of the same models. Though his were based on work coaching executives and mine based on interviews with people tryin Nudges. Being aware of the affordances of our environment. The Fundamental Attribution Error. Ego depletion...parts of this book read like a slightly outdated rehashing of Psychology 101. But parts of it were really intriguing to me, if only because he and I have mulled over a lot of the same questions--how do you get adults to change their behavior?--and independently built a lot of the same models. Though his were based on work coaching executives and mine based on interviews with people trying to lose weight, improve their finances or or read more, the basics of behavior change remain. I can see how many people would have a "duh" reaction to the first ~30% of this book. Most great models are super intuitive and _should_ illicit a "duh" reaction. But actually acting on those models, changing your behavior based on your awareness of these models, is the hard part. I particularly liked his focus on building time for "awareness" after you're triggered by something in your environment but before you act. I wish there were some magical practice--or even app :) --that could help you develop this awareness. It's something I personally struggle with: how do I turn off auto pilot? Not sure I buy the AIWATT (asking yourself, "Am I ready, at this time to make the investment required to make a positive difference on this topic?"). Sure, seems like a good question. But the hard part, for me at least, is in remembering to ask it. I wish he had focused on that more. I really liked the concept of "magic moves"--things that you can do that immediately help ease a relationship: apologize, ask for help, express optimism. Optimism as a magic move was particularly appealing to me. I realized that almost everyone I've loved working for or with had this quality: they expressed excitement and confidence about a vision, and helped me believe in it, too. I'm struggling with how to review this book--would I recommend it to others? Most of it would feel "duh" to most people, I think. It's perhaps only useful for people who 1) study behavior change and are interested in seeing how a non-academic approaches it or 2) people who are actively trying to make a change themselves and are looking for basic, tactical steps to help them achieve their goals.

  26. 4 out of 5

    Jai

    Borrowed from library - I'm on a productiveness self-help kick this year. This book is mostly about how easy it is to slide back to old behaviors despite your best intentions to do better in some aspect of your life. It's easy to rationalize and make excuses, so the basic idea is to really track your effort and through that keep yourself more accountable: are you REALLY trying? And what external factor may be affecting us? I give this book high points for pointing out something obvious yet someth Borrowed from library - I'm on a productiveness self-help kick this year. This book is mostly about how easy it is to slide back to old behaviors despite your best intentions to do better in some aspect of your life. It's easy to rationalize and make excuses, so the basic idea is to really track your effort and through that keep yourself more accountable: are you REALLY trying? And what external factor may be affecting us? I give this book high points for pointing out something obvious yet something that is easy to lie to yourself about (we're "superior planners but inferior doers"). People tend to rate themselves higher than where they actually are, and this affects improving themselves. And people tend to discount that they are affected by other people or circumstances outside themselves. My takeaway was the importance of goals and tracking them, and having that data to help reach the goals. But I do feel that something about the writing made it not stick in my head as much as I'd like. It's only been 2 weeks since I finished this but I feel it fading away quickly.

  27. 4 out of 5

    Morgan

    To successfully make and maintain significant behavior changes, all you need to do is create unbreakable structure in your life and ask yourself some questions every day, right? WRONG. This is a terribly oversimplified guide to behavior change that left me, a professor who both teaches and conducts research in this area, literally angry. The author's daily questions method does actually seem like a useful tool, but it would be just one part of any comprehensive behavior change effort and could h To successfully make and maintain significant behavior changes, all you need to do is create unbreakable structure in your life and ask yourself some questions every day, right? WRONG. This is a terribly oversimplified guide to behavior change that left me, a professor who both teaches and conducts research in this area, literally angry. The author's daily questions method does actually seem like a useful tool, but it would be just one part of any comprehensive behavior change effort and could have easily been described in something as short as a magazine article. Trying to fill out a whole book when all you really have is one suggested practice is shameful. There are much better books out there on this topic; don't give this author your valuable time and money reading this book.

  28. 4 out of 5

    Abdulhamid AlAttar

    kind of books that you feel sad when you about to finish it. reading The Power of Habit and Thinking Fast and Slow helps you build a deeper understanding. though the idea of the book is simple but how to apply it in your daily life (work or personal) needs work. people dont change untill they believe they want to change. couldn't help my brain wondering a lot about how to apply the concepts and how to evolve the ideas to match my day to day. week to week and year to year. how to help people around kind of books that you feel sad when you about to finish it. reading The Power of Habit and Thinking Fast and Slow helps you build a deeper understanding. though the idea of the book is simple but how to apply it in your daily life (work or personal) needs work. people dont change untill they believe they want to change. couldn't help my brain wondering a lot about how to apply the concepts and how to evolve the ideas to match my day to day. week to week and year to year. how to help people around me to understand the concept without reading the book.... endless list. really thankful to finish reading this book at the first day of the year. made me feel excited of how to apply it for real.

  29. 4 out of 5

    Tatiana Kim

    Sometimes you read the book and it answers all you questions. Even if you feel how to do something but you need to structure the answer in your head. Last couple of months i tried to manage my relationship with son. he is toddler at the age when every no and yes can make him cry and shout. And i didn't know how to react and in some cases i started to feel annoyance that i didn't want to feel, i started to ask myself if i did all my best to be patient? i managed to change myself and my son change Sometimes you read the book and it answers all you questions. Even if you feel how to do something but you need to structure the answer in your head. Last couple of months i tried to manage my relationship with son. he is toddler at the age when every no and yes can make him cry and shout. And i didn't know how to react and in some cases i started to feel annoyance that i didn't want to feel, i started to ask myself if i did all my best to be patient? i managed to change myself and my son changed as well, we found the way to stop cries and hug each other. That happened because i asked one question. And the book teaches what and how to ask if you want to change your life.

  30. 5 out of 5

    Mary

    I don’t know why I read self help books. There are like 3 helpful chapters in this book, and they are completely subsumed by the author bragging about all the CEOs he knows, and being a first world martyr. Also, will someone please get this man a sandwich? He spends way to much of his time focusing on what he ate, or didn’t eat, and what some else ate or didn’t eat in a book that was supposed not about weight loss. Basically, I am convinced he was hungry during the entire writing of this book.

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