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Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings: Madea's Uninhibited Commentaries on Love and Life

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If you can count on one thing from "Madea" Mabel Simmons, star of the smash hits Diary of a Mad Black Woman, Madea's Family Reunion, and Madea's Witness Protection, it's that she's got something to say. Now the beloved, sharp-tongued, pistol-packing grandmother has her own lifestyle book-part memoir, many parts hard-won, hilarious, straight-up in-your-face words of wisdom. If you can count on one thing from "Madea" Mabel Simmons, star of the smash hits Diary of a Mad Black Woman, Madea's Family Reunion, and Madea's Witness Protection, it's that she's got something to say. Now the beloved, sharp-tongued, pistol-packing grandmother has her own lifestyle book-part memoir, many parts hard-won, hilarious, straight-up in-your-face words of wisdom. Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings is a #1 New York Times bestseller and a won a Quill Award for Book of the Year, Best Humor Book in 2006.  


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If you can count on one thing from "Madea" Mabel Simmons, star of the smash hits Diary of a Mad Black Woman, Madea's Family Reunion, and Madea's Witness Protection, it's that she's got something to say. Now the beloved, sharp-tongued, pistol-packing grandmother has her own lifestyle book-part memoir, many parts hard-won, hilarious, straight-up in-your-face words of wisdom. If you can count on one thing from "Madea" Mabel Simmons, star of the smash hits Diary of a Mad Black Woman, Madea's Family Reunion, and Madea's Witness Protection, it's that she's got something to say. Now the beloved, sharp-tongued, pistol-packing grandmother has her own lifestyle book-part memoir, many parts hard-won, hilarious, straight-up in-your-face words of wisdom. Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings is a #1 New York Times bestseller and a won a Quill Award for Book of the Year, Best Humor Book in 2006.  

30 review for Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings: Madea's Uninhibited Commentaries on Love and Life

  1. 5 out of 5

    Majenta

    If you love Madea, you'll love this! My Kindle version repeats several chapters back-to-back as though they were the ones Madea feels most strongly about. Or it could just be plain ol' error. You know Madea: she feels "most strongly" about EVERYTHING! Thanks for reading, and watch out for Madea! If you love Madea, you'll love this! My Kindle version repeats several chapters back-to-back as though they were the ones Madea feels most strongly about. Or it could just be plain ol' error. You know Madea: she feels "most strongly" about EVERYTHING! Thanks for reading, and watch out for Madea!

  2. 4 out of 5

    Monica

    This was a much-needed hug/talking-to from a seemingly bygone member of my community. Madea and I may disagree on some things (ducks under nearest table as Madea reaches for her "bag of belts" or "peacemaker") but in general, our perceptions of what constitutes happy and healthy living go hand in hand. I've removed more than my share of earrings in my lifetime and can relate to the struggle to remain within the boundaries of public decency and the law when people test you. Psssst: My only cri This was a much-needed hug/talking-to from a seemingly bygone member of my community. Madea and I may disagree on some things (ducks under nearest table as Madea reaches for her "bag of belts" or "peacemaker") but in general, our perceptions of what constitutes happy and healthy living go hand in hand. I've removed more than my share of earrings in my lifetime and can relate to the struggle to remain within the boundaries of public decency and the law when people test you. Psssst: My only criticism (looks over shoulder to make sure I'm out of earshot) is that there are some bits here and there that might be alienating to certain audiences. Still, I hesitate to be especially critical (I'm not too old to go across her ample knees for a good ole fashion..."behavior modification”) of writers who don't go out of their way to appeal to those outside their target audience. Ultimately, Tyler Perry's/Madea’s Don’t Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings is a funny and reassuring treat in the midst of some of the most lonely and frightening times I've ever experienced. Four stars.

  3. 5 out of 5

    Vannessa Anderson

    Don’t Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings took me back to my childhood because I could hear my mother’s voice in Madea’s words. No book has made me laugh so hard in a long time. Don’t Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings is a reminder of when children were parented, paid attention to, and cared for. I enjoyed reading about the village I grew up in when children had no privacy because neighbors would watch out for you when the parents weren’t available to do so. A must read..

  4. 4 out of 5

    Breezy B

    man this book is sooooooo funny i really enjoy

  5. 5 out of 5

    Bridget

    This book for me is a re-read, and I am typically not a person who re-reads books...I am one who feels like there are too many books in the world to keep re-reading the same ones over and over again.... but, I read this book around the time it came out about 8 years ago...and I loved it even then. (Will I ever re-read another book? Maybe! Or was I a person who totally wrote off re-reading a book? No. It's just not something I would make a big habit of unless I felt I needed information out of th This book for me is a re-read, and I am typically not a person who re-reads books...I am one who feels like there are too many books in the world to keep re-reading the same ones over and over again.... but, I read this book around the time it came out about 8 years ago...and I loved it even then. (Will I ever re-read another book? Maybe! Or was I a person who totally wrote off re-reading a book? No. It's just not something I would make a big habit of unless I felt I needed information out of that book and/or maybe I can't get to any other books at that time...or whatever other reason there may be in that moment in time) But I digress... But, for some reason, I decided to type in Tyler Perry on scribd and the book came up...in audio! With Madea reading! I Had To Listen! Listening to this book, was even funnier than the first time...I laughed the first time..A lot I'm sure...but I laughed so hard while listening to Madea read this and go off track a couple times. There were a couple times a word or two were changed around, added to, etc..but that's okay...That made it that much better! I had so much fun reading and listening to this book! I pulled so much out of it this go round, as Im sure I got good advice the first time I listened to it as well. But now that I'm older, a little wiser, I'm sure I can do more with it now than I did then. But I have to say, if you're going to read and/or listen to this book...make sure you're in a place that you can laugh out loud and not care about the people around you..because you will be doing just that! Or, you know how to just hold back a little bit, like I had to when I was listening to it in public. I just smiled, hard, and when I finally opened my door, and she said something funny..I just let out the laughter! Loud!

  6. 5 out of 5

    Nick Scott

    This book was a lot like a Tyler Perry movie: not good, not bad, but it exists. There are some fun Madea moments, and I started to wonder if I should be worried a couple of times when I actually began to take things out of it to apply to my life. The book just doesn't have the same novelty that comes with watching Madea on screen or stage (though perhaps the audiobook would). Near the end you feel like you've read some of the same things over and over. There just isn't enough substance here to w This book was a lot like a Tyler Perry movie: not good, not bad, but it exists. There are some fun Madea moments, and I started to wonder if I should be worried a couple of times when I actually began to take things out of it to apply to my life. The book just doesn't have the same novelty that comes with watching Madea on screen or stage (though perhaps the audiobook would). Near the end you feel like you've read some of the same things over and over. There just isn't enough substance here to warrant reading. You're better off watching a Madea movie.

  7. 4 out of 5

    Ronald Wise

    The New York Times listed it a non-fiction, but the library has it in the fiction section — in reality a fictious autobiographical monolog by a Black man portraying an old woman. It was amusing at times and provided some insight into the African-American culture, but became rather boring midway through the book. I learned of this book from its three-month stay on the New York Times best seller list in the spring of 2006.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Holly

    I loved this book! It is funny but also has some "truisms" in it. Little pearls of wisdom from Madea! My favorite chapter was "Hold the Frisbee". That's where she equates "relationships" with throwing the frisbee to a dog. If you want the dog to stay interested in the frisbee, don't throw it too much. I'm thinking of making my 18 yr old daughter read it! We need more Madea's!! I loved this book! It is funny but also has some "truisms" in it. Little pearls of wisdom from Madea! My favorite chapter was "Hold the Frisbee". That's where she equates "relationships" with throwing the frisbee to a dog. If you want the dog to stay interested in the frisbee, don't throw it too much. I'm thinking of making my 18 yr old daughter read it! We need more Madea's!!

  9. 4 out of 5

    Andrea

    HA-llarious! Tyler Perry is SOOOO funny! I needed something humourus and light hearted and this was it. 100% in Madea tone!

  10. 5 out of 5

    Larissa Langsather

    Not as funny as I thought it would be.

  11. 5 out of 5

    Cheryl

    Thoroughly enjoyed this well-written tongue-in-cheek fiction that contains a whole lot of great advice.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Cassandra

    I am biased when it comes to Mr. Perry simply because I love everything he does.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Quanda

    There was nothing really special about this book. But what makes it a good read is that it is a reminder of the things you already know, you've already been told. A refresher as to the lesson's you should have already learned, or if you're one of those people who just have to fall on your behind over and over again, it gives advice as how to stop. This book is a reiteration of the things we sometimes forget due to life's unexpected experiences that may distract us from what we should often keep w There was nothing really special about this book. But what makes it a good read is that it is a reminder of the things you already know, you've already been told. A refresher as to the lesson's you should have already learned, or if you're one of those people who just have to fall on your behind over and over again, it gives advice as how to stop. This book is a reiteration of the things we sometimes forget due to life's unexpected experiences that may distract us from what we should often keep with us as a guide. So, great job Tyler, I enjoyed. If you haven't read this book I suggest you do so if you need a refresher course in life. Quanda R. Graves (Until...)

  14. 4 out of 5

    Kimberly Hicks

    This is the book that made me finally finish my novel! In Madea's true style, she says something near the end that pushed me over the edge! "If you're a writer, then BE a writer!" She said something to that effect, but it lit a fire under me and I completed Mello & June. I will always be indebted to Madea/Tyler Perry for making me get to it! This book had me in tears of laughter, and it was so damn true. If you enjoy laughing, this book is definitely for you! This is the book that made me finally finish my novel! In Madea's true style, she says something near the end that pushed me over the edge! "If you're a writer, then BE a writer!" She said something to that effect, but it lit a fire under me and I completed Mello & June. I will always be indebted to Madea/Tyler Perry for making me get to it! This book had me in tears of laughter, and it was so damn true. If you enjoy laughing, this book is definitely for you!

  15. 5 out of 5

    Ginnie Grant

    Ah, Madea. the best case of D.I.D ever. This book is just like you would expect Madea to be. Honest, nothing held back, yes she went there. Funny as hell, but also a type of sage wisdom. When it comes to beauty, be natural and keep lots of Vaseline, when it comes to love, Dont stay if it ain't working. when it comes to kids, whup that ass. stay in school, soeak properly. everyone regardless of class or race or age could get something from reading this book. Ah, Madea. the best case of D.I.D ever. This book is just like you would expect Madea to be. Honest, nothing held back, yes she went there. Funny as hell, but also a type of sage wisdom. When it comes to beauty, be natural and keep lots of Vaseline, when it comes to love, Dont stay if it ain't working. when it comes to kids, whup that ass. stay in school, soeak properly. everyone regardless of class or race or age could get something from reading this book.

  16. 4 out of 5

    Miguel Vega

    This was amazing! I loved the movies and the plays and the honorable life-quoted Madea says in them, so I searched Amazon for a book and there was one! This one was a fun run, "slow" at times (even though there is no story) but overall, I bought it to learn life lessons and I can honestly say I did. This was amazing! I loved the movies and the plays and the honorable life-quoted Madea says in them, so I searched Amazon for a book and there was one! This one was a fun run, "slow" at times (even though there is no story) but overall, I bought it to learn life lessons and I can honestly say I did.

  17. 5 out of 5

    Carolina Nazario

    This book had some very humorous parts, but to take it seriously, there were some life lessons in here that can help me in the future. I feel like this book may have taught me to let some things go. It taught me to let go of the things I cannot change.

  18. 4 out of 5

    Shahad Al Melhem

    I am always on the road and traffic can be boring and stressful at times. Hearing this audio book in my car was as if I was in a comedy show. I couldnt stop laughing regardless of the ridiculous advise that was being offered by Madea.

  19. 5 out of 5

    Zetta

    This relatively short book (254 pages, hardback) needs to be read it from cover-to-cover, but it is divided into eleven sections making it easy to jump to where you need help most. The purpose of this book is instructional and the clue is in the title. You don’t want to make a black woman take off her earrings. Why? Because this is your last clue that you have crossed the line and sistah-girl is about to throw down. Your mouth has written a check that is about to be cashed on your behind. So it’s This relatively short book (254 pages, hardback) needs to be read it from cover-to-cover, but it is divided into eleven sections making it easy to jump to where you need help most. The purpose of this book is instructional and the clue is in the title. You don’t want to make a black woman take off her earrings. Why? Because this is your last clue that you have crossed the line and sistah-girl is about to throw down. Your mouth has written a check that is about to be cashed on your behind. So it’s better to learn how not to get into such a situation. Do not mistake Madea for being a humorless, strict, church lady who looks down her nose proclaiming, “Isn’t that special?” Back in her youth, Madea was a stripper. Fortunately for us, she has collected all of her advice from her life experiences and put them in a convenient book for our use. Madea has something to say about everything, and she makes it clear that we would be wise to listen. On ageing: “You don’t get older—you get better—if you’re wise.” On weight: “There’s nothing sexy about a rib cage.” On beauty: “Vaseline.” On sex: “If you’re looking for a roadmap to heaven, follow these stretch marks along my thighs!” On self-defence: “My momma didn’t give me any instruction on the gun. She just told me, ‘Aim and pull.’” The effects of aging on the body: “You know, I stepped on my nipple today.” And much, much more. As mentioned above, you don’t get Madea’s age and experience if you’re stupid. But she points out that living in today’s society makes it harder to find sources of wisdom. “See, grandmas today are twenty-nine years old. If you’re twenty-nine, you don’t know the things you know at sixty-eight.” Madea is all about owning up to responsibility and working to your full potential. If you don’t believe me, just read the section: “What in Hell Is ‘Acting White’ Supposed to Mean?” Her response: “It’s not acting white. It’s acting like you got some sense!” Further on in the chapter she says: “It’s like laws in America. If you break the law, you pay the consequences [...:] So when you’re raising kids, remember—you are the law. Lay the law down and they will respect you.” Do we really need Supernanny??? Madea is funny. She is over the top. Not all of her tips can be taken seriously. For example, you probably don’t want to try your luck by bouncing checks all over town, or leaving fish heads around your house to discourage houseguests, but that’s not the point. It is the spirit in which the advice is given that counts.

  20. 4 out of 5

    Tomi

    Hahahahahahahahahaha!!! Madea!!!!!! What was you thinking... you know .. sometimes, Madea is just a little to true to be real... Unbelievable. She makes sense... at times... just only sometimes.. other times.. she should be jailed.. but then What the heck.. sometimes you need to say crazy stuff just to make some sense of the weird world we live in. And true to the word.. Kids born since the 80's think that every thing should be handed to them on a plate. They do not want to work for anything.. Spe Hahahahahahahahahaha!!! Madea!!!!!! What was you thinking... you know .. sometimes, Madea is just a little to true to be real... Unbelievable. She makes sense... at times... just only sometimes.. other times.. she should be jailed.. but then What the heck.. sometimes you need to say crazy stuff just to make some sense of the weird world we live in. And true to the word.. Kids born since the 80's think that every thing should be handed to them on a plate. They do not want to work for anything.. Speak on Madea...

  21. 5 out of 5

    Amy

    I usually do not enjoy modern comedies because I find a lot of them to be rather stupid and shallow. However, I do find Tyler Perry's Madea character hilarious. Therefore, I thought that this book might be good for some laughs. I was disappointed. I chuckled once or twice, but found myself skimming the book. It reads like an actual self-help book, and I just didn't find it amusing or useful. Humor is a very personal thing, however, and I imagine that many people out there might get a laugh out o I usually do not enjoy modern comedies because I find a lot of them to be rather stupid and shallow. However, I do find Tyler Perry's Madea character hilarious. Therefore, I thought that this book might be good for some laughs. I was disappointed. I chuckled once or twice, but found myself skimming the book. It reads like an actual self-help book, and I just didn't find it amusing or useful. Humor is a very personal thing, however, and I imagine that many people out there might get a laugh out of it.

  22. 5 out of 5

    Donna

    Revisited Madea again.....LOVE this character.... Thank you Tyler Perry!!!! The audio is wonderful …I’ll need to listen to this again…and again…LOVE this character…..so very funny and so much is true. I was laughing out loud throughout. I’d love to have a Madea in my life… Now what would be wonderful is if Medea met Flip Wilson’s Geraldine…. Wish Medea had a Facebook page and sent out Madea stories... a smile a day!!

  23. 5 out of 5

    Cynthia

    I laughed so hard I was crying. From an African American prespective this book was hilarious and real. Above all to hear it on CD was the funniest thing. The life examples were true and brought back memories. Above all it was a good read even if just to laugh, think, and enjoy.

  24. 5 out of 5

    NzingaMarie

    This was an ok book. I wanted to love it because it was written by Tyler Perry. The only problem is: if you've seen a couple Madea plays, then you've read this book. It's more recommended for anyone who hasn't seen too many of the plays or movies. This was an ok book. I wanted to love it because it was written by Tyler Perry. The only problem is: if you've seen a couple Madea plays, then you've read this book. It's more recommended for anyone who hasn't seen too many of the plays or movies.

  25. 5 out of 5

    Ravneet

    Madea is hilarious as always. There were many times I was laughing out loud. However, much of the advice shared is commonly known. It has been cited in other books or is general knowledge. She provided reminders in a humorous way.

  26. 5 out of 5

    Denise

    Every Madea movie or play I've seen is filled with laughter and more importantly, life lessons and this book was no different. I could hear Madea's voice in my mind throughout this whole book and it was fun to read. If you enjoy the movies, you'll enjoy this book. Every Madea movie or play I've seen is filled with laughter and more importantly, life lessons and this book was no different. I could hear Madea's voice in my mind throughout this whole book and it was fun to read. If you enjoy the movies, you'll enjoy this book.

  27. 4 out of 5

    Bridget

    I hate I bought this book. It had a few funny parts, but overall, it just wasn't good. I hate I bought this book. It had a few funny parts, but overall, it just wasn't good.

  28. 4 out of 5

    Bailey

    I expected more from Madea. Still love her though!

  29. 5 out of 5

    Joshua

    Fantastic! It's like I could hear Madea saying these things right to my face. Bravo tho Ms. Simmons and Mr. Perry on creating such a funny, practical work! Fantastic! It's like I could hear Madea saying these things right to my face. Bravo tho Ms. Simmons and Mr. Perry on creating such a funny, practical work!

  30. 4 out of 5

    Black Carrie

    I read this in middle school it was funny

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