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Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time (Portfolio Non Fiction)

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An updated and expanded edition of the runaway bestseller Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi Proven advice on networking for success: over 400,000 copies sold. As Keith Ferrazzi discovered early in life, what distinguishes highly successful people from everyone else is the way they use the power of relationships - so that everyone wins. His form of connecting to An updated and expanded edition of the runaway bestseller Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi Proven advice on networking for success: over 400,000 copies sold. As Keith Ferrazzi discovered early in life, what distinguishes highly successful people from everyone else is the way they use the power of relationships - so that everyone wins. His form of connecting to the world around him is based on generosity and he distinguishes genuine relationship-building from the crude, desperate glad-handling usually associated with 'networking'. In Never Eat Alone, Ferrazzi lays out the specific steps - and inner mindset - he uses to reach out to connect with the thousands of colleagues, friends, and associates on his Rolodex, people he has helped and who have helped him. He then distills his system of reaching out to people into practical, proven principles. Keith Ferrazzi is founder and CEO of Ferrazzi Greenlight, a marketing and sales consulting company. He is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Who's Got Your Back and has been a contributor to Inc., the Wall Street Journal, and Harvard Business Review. Previously, he was CMO of Deloitte Consulting and at Starwood Hotels & Resorts, and CEO of YaYa media. He lives in Los Angeles and New York.


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An updated and expanded edition of the runaway bestseller Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi Proven advice on networking for success: over 400,000 copies sold. As Keith Ferrazzi discovered early in life, what distinguishes highly successful people from everyone else is the way they use the power of relationships - so that everyone wins. His form of connecting to An updated and expanded edition of the runaway bestseller Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi Proven advice on networking for success: over 400,000 copies sold. As Keith Ferrazzi discovered early in life, what distinguishes highly successful people from everyone else is the way they use the power of relationships - so that everyone wins. His form of connecting to the world around him is based on generosity and he distinguishes genuine relationship-building from the crude, desperate glad-handling usually associated with 'networking'. In Never Eat Alone, Ferrazzi lays out the specific steps - and inner mindset - he uses to reach out to connect with the thousands of colleagues, friends, and associates on his Rolodex, people he has helped and who have helped him. He then distills his system of reaching out to people into practical, proven principles. Keith Ferrazzi is founder and CEO of Ferrazzi Greenlight, a marketing and sales consulting company. He is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Who's Got Your Back and has been a contributor to Inc., the Wall Street Journal, and Harvard Business Review. Previously, he was CMO of Deloitte Consulting and at Starwood Hotels & Resorts, and CEO of YaYa media. He lives in Los Angeles and New York.

30 review for Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time (Portfolio Non Fiction)

  1. 4 out of 5

    Jaclyn

    This book is a huge elitist bragging session for Keith Ferrazzi. I picked it up to get some tips on networking for a new business we're starting and it eventually began grating on my nerves. I'm not sure how many times it's necessary to congratulate yourself in your own book about how great you are, but the author went above and beyond that limit. A large network is great but I am not about to start proclaiming that having hundreds of people as contacts is what's going to make me successful. Get This book is a huge elitist bragging session for Keith Ferrazzi. I picked it up to get some tips on networking for a new business we're starting and it eventually began grating on my nerves. I'm not sure how many times it's necessary to congratulate yourself in your own book about how great you are, but the author went above and beyond that limit. A large network is great but I am not about to start proclaiming that having hundreds of people as contacts is what's going to make me successful. Get a grip. He needs an ego check. Any valuable points made in this book could have been summed up in a small 5 page essay. 2017 Edit: This review keeps popping up as people like it. I just looked at a book list my company has created on great books to improve yourself in business, life, etc. A sort of inspirational vitality book amalgamation. This was on it and I immediately assumed all the other books were trash - which shows how much my dislike of Ferrazzi must have infiltrated my brain over the years since reading this.

  2. 4 out of 5

    Iris

    nothing authentic here. i need to stop picking up cheetos-colored books.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Chad Warner

    In my efforts to spread the word about OptimWise, my technology services company, I've been attending more local workshops, lectures, and networking events. After hearing a few people recommend this book for networking advice, I decided it'd be worth my time to check out. It's too early to tell whether this book will improve my networking skills, but I'm definitely optimistic. Ferrazzi packs the book full of advice, tips, and anecdotes from his personal life. To add credibility, he also reference In my efforts to spread the word about OptimWise, my technology services company, I've been attending more local workshops, lectures, and networking events. After hearing a few people recommend this book for networking advice, I decided it'd be worth my time to check out. It's too early to tell whether this book will improve my networking skills, but I'm definitely optimistic. Ferrazzi packs the book full of advice, tips, and anecdotes from his personal life. To add credibility, he also references a few studies and statistics. The book's title comes from Ferrazzi's recommendation that you never eat alone; he uses sharing meals as an example of one way to include others in whatever you're doing. Ferrazzi's main idea is that instead of cold, calculating, traditional networking, you should make genuine friends. First make friends, he says, then make them clients. The more people you know, the more opportunities will come your way, and the more help you'll get. Your circle of influence will widen naturally. Early on, he says you must find your "blue flame": the intersection of your passion and talent. This is where you can be most successful. Then, share your passions; invite people into your personal life by sharing meals, hobbies, and events. This will lead to the friendships required for his form of networking. Another point he hits several times is reciprocity; again, not in the traditional "I'll scratch your back if you'll scratch mine" way, but giving without keeping score, then benefiting from the inevitable return of favors. He says to give generously and ask for generosity from others. I agreed with most of Ferrazzi's ideas, but not with one he presents at the very end. He proposes that there's no such thing as a work/life balance, because if you like the people you work with and the work you do, there's no need to distinguish between work and personal life. I don't buy this, because although you can become friends with colleagues and business partners, it's not always possible to work with your family and friends, the people that we most enjoy spending our time with. Notes Ask not what people can do for you, but what you can do for them. Create a Relationship Action Plan 1. Set goals for every 3 months and year, 3 years out. 2. Identify the people, places, and things required to meet those goals. 3. Reach out to the people who can help you achieve your goals. Create a board of advisors to act as cheerleaders and supervisors. Be bold and willing to ask; it never hurts to ask. Become an active member in clubs, and work up to being a leader. Meet 1 new person per week, no matter where or how. Research people before meeting them to find common interests. Warm calling 1. mention a familiar person or organization 2. state your value proposition (what you can do for them) 3. talk only enough to set up a face-to-face meeting 4. aim high, then compromise Invite people from different parts of your network to events so they get to know each other. The quality of time you spend with people is more important than the quantity. Follow up within 12-24 hours of meeting someone 1. cite something specific you talked about 2. ask to meet again 3. offer them something so they want to meet again Make a connection quickly 1. look them in the eyes 2. listen intently 3. ask personal questions 4. reveal your vulnerability Connect with "superconnectors" (well-connected people outside your profession). Avoid safe, boring talk. Talk about religion, romance, politics, and your passions. Listen attentively and use people's names. Help people with the 3 most important things: health, wealth, and children. Become an indispensable power broker, helping others succeed. Ping your contacts at least a few times each year to stay in touch. Birthdays are the best time. Throw dinner parties with a mix of people. Use "anchor tenants" to bridge to others outside your social circle. Connect with the famous and powerful through organizations, clubs, conferences, fundraisers, nonprofit boards, sports, etc. If you can't find a club, start one!

  4. 5 out of 5

    Thomas

    3.5 stars As someone who feels skeptical about business and networking and most things professional (i.e. elitist), I came into this book with low expectations. Never Eat Alone looks like another career-oriented self-help book aimed at elevating one's wealth and making connections to get ahead. And while it does focus on both of those things - relationships, how to sell yourself and your brand - I appreciated Keith Ferrazzi's emphasis on vulnerability and kindness. He advocates for caring about o 3.5 stars As someone who feels skeptical about business and networking and most things professional (i.e. elitist), I came into this book with low expectations. Never Eat Alone looks like another career-oriented self-help book aimed at elevating one's wealth and making connections to get ahead. And while it does focus on both of those things - relationships, how to sell yourself and your brand - I appreciated Keith Ferrazzi's emphasis on vulnerability and kindness. He advocates for caring about other people and using that concern for others as a platform for genuine, professional growth. His comments about vulnerability surprised me in a pleasant way, because they shattered the idea of of always maintaining a flawless image to get ahead in the working world. A few of the other highlights in this book include: the idea of finding your blue fame (where your passion and practical abilities intersect), Ferrazzi writing that we should introspect more about our values and that we should seek therapy if we want it, and his note to stay humble, even when you feel like a great success. I have a few critiques of Never Eat Alone, too. Ferrazzi states that networking gets a bad rep for being a shallow, non-authentic activity. While he urges us to view networking as an opportunity for genuine connection, which I loved, I still felt that throughout the book his conceptions of networking aligned with the negative stereotypes he aimed to avoid - a more thorough or refined analysis of connection-making may have helped him craft a unified message about the ethics of networking. He also could have allocated more attention to issues of privilege and disparity, as he himself comes from a disadvantaged background. Certain people in society (e.g., affluent white men) can benefit from his strategies with ease, while minorities will have to work so much harder to succeed; I wish he had included more tips on how to not feel encumbered by a less-privileged background. And, my last critique: I could not stand the title of this book. I have my bias; as an outgoing introvert, I like to eat alone as a break from interacting with people all the time (and I read this book while eating alone several times, too.) Either way, the title simplifies the book's meaningful messages in a way that does not serve them justice. Overall, recommended to those who want to read a straightforward, well-written book about connection-building. I can see business and career-oriented folks getting a kick out of this one, though its ideas could help anyone who wants to expand their social circles.

  5. 4 out of 5

    kareem

    original review: http://www.reemer.com/archives/2005/0... I forget how I first came across this book, but it seemed to be one of those (like Blink, The Tipping Point, The Wisdom of Crowds, etc.) that was getting a lot of press on blogs that I read frequently. Ferrazzi has an interesting blog for Never Eat Alone and Phil Terry of Creative Good suggested I give it a go to help connect with folks at the Gel conference this week. The book is about how to meet people and develop deeper relationships mor original review: http://www.reemer.com/archives/2005/0... I forget how I first came across this book, but it seemed to be one of those (like Blink, The Tipping Point, The Wisdom of Crowds, etc.) that was getting a lot of press on blogs that I read frequently. Ferrazzi has an interesting blog for Never Eat Alone and Phil Terry of Creative Good suggested I give it a go to help connect with folks at the Gel conference this week. The book is about how to meet people and develop deeper relationships more quickly. Ferrazzi shares his philosophy on life--you can't succeed without the help of others--and outlines strategies to make connecting easier. These strategies are a reinforcement of the Golden Rule, and they boil down to things like: Always looking to help or connect people, Have a story to tell, Show vulnerability first to make the conversation more intimate, Become indispensible in one specific area to become more valuable to your company, Ping your contacts at least once a quarter, Do your homework; make sure you know details about the people you will be meeting, Be bold; believe you have something to offer and others will treat you as such, and Speak at, or start a conference to develop your personal brand. The advice Ferrazzi presents is useful for managing one's personal and professional lives (in his life, Ferrazzi does not make a distinction between the two) and really preaches that a different mindset is required in order to be always connecting. It's a good read, and while Ferrazzi name-drops a lot, he's ultimately a (smart, ambitious) kid from working class Pennsylvania who has networked his way to both success and what sounds like a fulfilling life.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Bebe Burnside

    It started out really good. Mr. Ferrazzi talked about the importance of treating others well and not just networking because of what you can get out of it. If you have read the secret it is the same idea. Then it turned into the story of why Kieth Ferrazzi totally rocks and is so successful. He went from talking about why you should treat people well and not look for the big sale to how to meet people who will land you the big sale. I would say he talks the talk but does not walk the walk. I cou It started out really good. Mr. Ferrazzi talked about the importance of treating others well and not just networking because of what you can get out of it. If you have read the secret it is the same idea. Then it turned into the story of why Kieth Ferrazzi totally rocks and is so successful. He went from talking about why you should treat people well and not look for the big sale to how to meet people who will land you the big sale. I would say he talks the talk but does not walk the walk. I could not even finish it. When he started blabbing about how people in first class are so special and people in coach are just not...well guess what Keithy Boy we will never meet cause I always fly coach. If someone can tell me it picks up and has a great ending, maybe I'll try again..but really there are plenty of better written books with the same good advise and not page after page of why the author is so fabulous.

  7. 4 out of 5

    ScienceOfSuccess

    TL;DR It's better to know everyone in the world than not know them. Great networking book. TL;DR It's better to know everyone in the world than not know them. Great networking book.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Oana Sipos

    He's an American. So as some of my friends said, you have the feeling of shallowness in relationships. Not all his pieces of advice would work in Europe, where I think it takes longer to build a relationship, but which will ultimately be much more meaningful and deep. Here are, however, some things that are worth to be noted: - if you never ask, the answer is always no - respect the goalkeeper's role and make them your friend - the follow-up is the hammer and nails of your networking tool kit - the He's an American. So as some of my friends said, you have the feeling of shallowness in relationships. Not all his pieces of advice would work in Europe, where I think it takes longer to build a relationship, but which will ultimately be much more meaningful and deep. Here are, however, some things that are worth to be noted: - if you never ask, the answer is always no - respect the goalkeeper's role and make them your friend - the follow-up is the hammer and nails of your networking tool kit - the most memorable gifts I have ever received are those whose value could not be measured in terms of dollars and cents - a commando knows that you have to get people to like you first. The sales come later—in the follow-up discussions you have after the conference. - If 80 percent of success is, as Woody Allen once said, just show-ing up, then 80 percent of building and maintaining relationships is just staying in touch. - The lesson? Even a Harvard MBA or an invitation to Davos is no substitute for personal initiative.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Shane

    I read about this book some time back and finally taken the time to read it. My goal in reading this was to improve my own networking and relationship building skills while staying true to my own values and principles. Ferrazzi’s approach is aggressive and there are something’s that simply do not work well for me. I gained additional knowledge and ideas from this book and it also reinforced much of what I know. Not a page turner but overall this was worth the read. I appreciated Ferrazi’s rise f I read about this book some time back and finally taken the time to read it. My goal in reading this was to improve my own networking and relationship building skills while staying true to my own values and principles. Ferrazzi’s approach is aggressive and there are something’s that simply do not work well for me. I gained additional knowledge and ideas from this book and it also reinforced much of what I know. Not a page turner but overall this was worth the read. I appreciated Ferrazi’s rise from working class roots. I liked the fact that he points out it is about giving before receiving, developing trust, helping people and clearly points out that it is about relationships not your own personal success. This is also a practical how to book, with simple examples of how to do things, break the ice, and initiate conversations and relationships.

  10. 4 out of 5

    Chantal

    I sat through a brilliant networking lecture a few months ago and I kept thinking about how much more good you can do in the world if you have built relationships with people. The lecture really got me thinking about the value of building relationships with others in order to better serve them. I taught a lesson about it at church...and got such a dead response. After the lesson, a friend suggested this book that he had previously read and brought it by for me to read. I spent the next week devo I sat through a brilliant networking lecture a few months ago and I kept thinking about how much more good you can do in the world if you have built relationships with people. The lecture really got me thinking about the value of building relationships with others in order to better serve them. I taught a lesson about it at church...and got such a dead response. After the lesson, a friend suggested this book that he had previously read and brought it by for me to read. I spent the next week devouring it. It seemed to be a culmination of everything I'd been learning about and thinking about up to this point. It mentioned several characters (Benjamin Franklin) and books (How to Win Friends and Influence People) that I just love. I thought the author had many valid points. It seems to be human nature that if you help people, they will help you. Give, and you get, or so my life experience has taught me. The book seems to follow in a similar style to How to Win Friends and Influence People, which gives you a selfish reason to be nice, here he gives you a selfish reason to reach out, to give, to create and support communities. Ultimately, I think these principles are intrinsically good. They bear value even if there is nothing in it for the giver. Both books have manipulative undertones. I've come to realize, however, that saying 'look at all the good you'll generate by living by these principles' isn't as persuasive as 'look at how much money you can make or how loved you can be by living these principles'. Humans are generally motivated by 'how will this benefit me'. Thus, even though he often discussed the non-altruistic side of networking, I still think his book is effective in both persuading and teaching readers to network more, and more effectively. My take home lesson was - get more involved. And I will.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Amir Tesla

    Filled with wisdom. Loved it.

  12. 5 out of 5

    Eric

    Much of what the book talked about was what I already knew. I didn't like how he talked about mostly cliche advice like "Find your passion and things like money will naturally follow”. Also, it seemed that Ferrazzi was trying to use the book as some kind of a biography to brag about his accomplishments. He seems really proud and full of himself, with a huge ego. He may be qualified to be like that because I do think what he achieved is impressive, and I have nothing against being proud of onesel Much of what the book talked about was what I already knew. I didn't like how he talked about mostly cliche advice like "Find your passion and things like money will naturally follow”. Also, it seemed that Ferrazzi was trying to use the book as some kind of a biography to brag about his accomplishments. He seems really proud and full of himself, with a huge ego. He may be qualified to be like that because I do think what he achieved is impressive, and I have nothing against being proud of oneself. It’s just that his tooting his own horn frequently went overboard in several sections of the book. His tone was rather preachy and patronizing, which was annoying. I even got a feeling that the author was interested more in bragging about his victories than in sincerely helping or giving something of value to readers, though I don't deny that the book had some good wisdom scattered throughout the book. He also seems very elitist, and I feel that much of his advice wouldn't be as easily applicable for people with no Ivy League background. Overall, I am quite disappointed with the book.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Amy Landino

    Everyone should read this book who thinks they know how to network. People say they want to build relationships but Ferrazzi actually defines what it means to make that happen in meaningful and effective ways. Loved it. Staying on the bookshelf and planning my first dinner party ASAP.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Nguyen Linh Chi

    This book provides me with some outstanding networking advices, such as categorizing your contacts, pinging, be a person of content and reciprocity. However, this book is a bit general (especially Section 5: Trading Up and Giving Back) because in my opinion, body language and small talk are more important to connect with people. This book is more about maintaining your contacts rather than recommending what you should say in the first place. If you are a newbie or a graduate student like I am, I This book provides me with some outstanding networking advices, such as categorizing your contacts, pinging, be a person of content and reciprocity. However, this book is a bit general (especially Section 5: Trading Up and Giving Back) because in my opinion, body language and small talk are more important to connect with people. This book is more about maintaining your contacts rather than recommending what you should say in the first place. If you are a newbie or a graduate student like I am, I highly recommend How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships which is more applicable in every life situation.

  15. 4 out of 5

    Travis

    Typical Business 1.0 good-old-boy network "what can you do for me?" advice. If this guy asked me to lunch, I'd be immediately suspicious of his motives. Typical Business 1.0 good-old-boy network "what can you do for me?" advice. If this guy asked me to lunch, I'd be immediately suspicious of his motives.

  16. 4 out of 5

    Phoebe Tran

    Having read many books in the past about the art of networking and how to build connections for a successful life and career, I find Keith Ferrazzi's "Never Eat Alone" to be an especially great book on this subject. Many of the ideas here are not revolutionary or new since the concept of networking has become, as the author puts it, a "lingua franca of our times". Of course, you'll find chapters on well-worn topics, such as "being interesting," "follow your passion", or "the art of small talk". Having read many books in the past about the art of networking and how to build connections for a successful life and career, I find Keith Ferrazzi's "Never Eat Alone" to be an especially great book on this subject. Many of the ideas here are not revolutionary or new since the concept of networking has become, as the author puts it, a "lingua franca of our times". Of course, you'll find chapters on well-worn topics, such as "being interesting," "follow your passion", or "the art of small talk". Nonetheless, this book is a great read for 2 specific reasons: (1) making connections should be a lifestyle choice, rather than an opportunistic chore one does occasionally to advance in life; (2) it is possible to cultivate a mindset and a set of skills to establish sincere and worthwhile relationships in today's world. Some books have become overly cynical about why and how we connect to others. Networking has often been treated as a kind of trickery or manipulation à la Machiavelli, a necessary means to achieve specific ends, such as finding a job, or moving up the power ladder. Ferrazzi's book was able to tread a delicate balance between advocating authenticity and kindness in building relationships and giving practical advice on how to network effectively and maintain different kinds of professional and personal contacts (close friends, acquaintances, super-connectors, gatekeepers, etc.) Most importantly, some of the advice on sincerity in this book does not stray far from insights in classic books, such as Dale Carnegie's How to win friends, but it is updated for situations in the contemporary workplace, incorporating the existence of social media, new technology or events specifically designed to facilitate networking. Gathering this much praise from me, this book is not without flaws. Many reviewers were put off by Ferrazzi's "boastful" accounts of his own networking prowess. True, most of his real-life anecdotes are from his own life and not from other people's. He does sometimes go on about all his famous and powerful friends and his shiny networking achievements. However, the author's stories reflect his proactive and continued quest to build meaningful connections, despite his humble working class beginning. Ferrazzi realized early in life the importance of relationships and has since worked out ways to mitigate the difficulties of starting and maintaining connections (warm the cold calls, follow up, provide social arbitrage, and don't keep score, etc.) Overall, Never Eat Alone is worth reading if you are in search for the ins and outs of networking and to learn how to manage and advance your career in today's world.

  17. 5 out of 5

    Mallory

    I honestly don't get why people rave about this. I didn't find anything insightful in it. Even before I got to the parts where he praises Donald Trump's networking "skills," I could tell he subscribes to that style of manipulation/inflated self worth. The advice is all trivial, nothing you haven't heard a dozen times before. Skip it. I honestly don't get why people rave about this. I didn't find anything insightful in it. Even before I got to the parts where he praises Donald Trump's networking "skills," I could tell he subscribes to that style of manipulation/inflated self worth. The advice is all trivial, nothing you haven't heard a dozen times before. Skip it.

  18. 4 out of 5

    Henrik Haapala

    • "Success in any field, but especially in business, is about working with people, not against them." /KF, p.7 • "The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated" /W. James • Connecting (="networking") = sharing knowledge, resources, time and energy. • Importance of mentors. • Don’t keep score, keep giving. The idea is to be a giver, but be strategic about it. You also have to ask for generosity back. Networks are for mutual benefit. • What’s your mission? The importance of wri • "Success in any field, but especially in business, is about working with people, not against them." /KF, p.7 • "The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated" /W. James • Connecting (="networking") = sharing knowledge, resources, time and energy. • Importance of mentors. • Don’t keep score, keep giving. The idea is to be a giver, but be strategic about it. You also have to ask for generosity back. Networks are for mutual benefit. • What’s your mission? The importance of written goals and having people around you that can help you achieve those goals. 1. Find your passion (look inside, look outside) 2. Put goals to paper 3. Create a personal "board of advisors" • Examples: Bill Clinton being a master at "feeling your pain" and listening. • Build your network before you need it. • Be audacious: find a role model, learn to speak, take some risk, meet new people and different people • Do your homework: research beforehand and even tell people you have done your research. • Take names; make lists of helpful people and people you want to help. Friends, family, acquaintances, weak ties. Make a priority list 1,2,3. • 1: contact each month, 2: touch base, quarterly, 3: once a year • 80% success is just staying in touch; therefore have a plan. • "All successful people are planners. They think on paper. Failing to is planning to fail… and a plan is a list of activities and names" p.197 • Three modes: email, a phone call and a face to face encounter. • Pinging: "When it comes to relationship maintenance, you have to be in your game 24/7, 365 days a year." p.196 • As you add names to your lists, don't worry right away about whether or not you can immediately connect to them. Mapping the landscape is where you start. Aspirational list. • Warm calling; 1. Mention a familiar person, institution, 2. state your value proposition, 3. Impart urgency and convenience, 4. compromise to secure a follow up • Good follow up: follow up is the key to success in any field • "Deep bump" = fast and meaningful connection enough to secure the next meeting and move on. • 56% found their job trough a personal connection, study shows. • Weak ties: "weak ties" are generally more important than those you consider strong - when it comes to new jobs and new ideas and new information. • 8 connector professions: restaurateurs, headhunters, lobbyists, fund-raisers, PR-people, politicians, journalists and authors/bloggers/gurus • "Mix it up. Hunt out people who look and act and sound nothing like you do. Seek out ideas from people you don’t ordinarily talk to who inhabit professional worlds you don’t ordinarily travel in… connect with the connectors" p.145 • Conversation as a skill: it can be learned. • Health, wealth and children --> deep emotional bonds • Micro celebrity: not famous among millions, but famous among the people who are important for your mission. • GVAC: Generosity + vulnerability + accountability + candor = trust • "People are desperate for authenticity" p.251 • What's got your attention? Write about that. • "The best ideas come from looking around you and constantly asking, 'how can I be helpful to people?'" • Become the king of content. • Create “luck” and engineer serendipity: • Productivity and innovation tracks with population growth: different people --> different ideas --> different opportunities --> meetings with other people • “Third spaces”: bars, coffee shops etc. where people seek community. • Everything accelerates: Problem: knowledge becomes obsolete and globalization leads to competition; how quickly can you know the new and right things? Answer: By creating serendipity and connecting people --> massive value • “Your goal as you move through the world should be to create a force field inside of which people feel safe to play by different rules. Model the traits that support serendipity – curiosity, generosity, passion, and humility. Create social opportunities, like the dinners.., and allow others to build trust” p.260 • Passion --> energy --> enthusiasm (so cultivate passion) • Relationship action plan (RAP): • Study: 86% credited their success to being “open to new things and people” p.263 • Conferences/workshops are not for sitting and listening, it’s about connecting with people. • Become expert: 1. Trends and opportunities on the cutting edge (analyze) 2. Ask seemingly stupid questions 3. Know yourself and your talents 4. Always learn 5. Stay healthy 6. Expose yourself to unusual experiences 7. Don't get discouraged 8. Know the new technology 9. Develop a niche 10. Follow the money • "Regardless of age, regardless of position, regardless of the business we happen to be in, all of us need to understand the importance of branding. We are the CEOs of our own companies: Me Inc. To be in business today, our most important job is to be head marketer for the brand called You." T.Peters p.290 • "Create your own microequivalent of the Nike swoosh" T.Peters p.291 "In terms of branding, then, the bottom line for everyone comes down to a choice: to be distinct or extinct." p.292 "Be the CEO of your own life. Raise hell. Let the chips fall where they may." T.Peters p.292

  19. 5 out of 5

    Clint Hyden

    This was a great book about what networking really is. It's about sharing information with people, not just about managing transactions with people. Here are some quotes that I liked from the book. 1. …being a connector is not about managing transactions, but about managing relationships. P8 2. I learned that real networking was about finding ways to make other people more successful. It was about working hard to give more than you get. P9 3. Every successful person I’ve met shared, in varying degre This was a great book about what networking really is. It's about sharing information with people, not just about managing transactions with people. Here are some quotes that I liked from the book. 1. …being a connector is not about managing transactions, but about managing relationships. P8 2. I learned that real networking was about finding ways to make other people more successful. It was about working hard to give more than you get. P9 3. Every successful person I’ve met shared, in varying degrees, a zeal for goal setting. Successful athletes, CEOs, charismatic leaders, rainmaking salespeople, and accomplished managers all know what they want in life, and go after it. P23 4. A goal is a dream with a deadline. P25 5. Goal setting: 1) Find your passion 2) Putting goals to paper 3) Create a personal “Board of Advisors” 6. Those that had built businesses and climbed the corporate ladder with amazing speed were those who could confidently make conversation with anyone in any situation. P 145 7. In my initial conversation with someone I’m just getting to know, whether it’s a new mentee or simply a new business contact, I try to find out what motivations drive that person. It often comes down to one of three things: making money, finding love, or changing the world. P161 8. … health, wealth, and children affect us in ways other acts of kindness do not. P165 9. Real power comes from being indispensable… coming from being a switchboard, parceling out as much information, contacts, and good will to as many people – in as many different worlds – as possible. P174 10. The ability to distribute knowledge in a network is fairly easy to skill to learn. a. ID some of the leading thinkers and writers in your industry b. For business bestsellers, check out the Wall Street Journal’s list in the Personal Journal section on Friday. c. Buy the book, read it, and take some notes summarizing the Big Idea, a few interesting studies or anecdotes, and why it’s relevant to the people you’re thinking about d. Now pick a few people, some of whom you know well and some you don’t, and email them your work. e. All you have to say is “Here are some cool ideas I think you’d like to be on top of.” P 176 11. To paraphrase Dale Carnegie: You can be more successful in two months by becoming really interested in other people’s success than you can in two years trying to get other people interested in your own success. P177 12. Even a Harvard MBA…is no substitute for personal initiative. If you can’t find an outfit to join that allows you to make a difference, then recognize what you do have to offer – your particular expertise, contacts, interests, or experience. Rally people behind them and make your own difference. p263 13. Life is about work, work is about life, and both are about people. P293

  20. 4 out of 5

    Ben Campopiano

    Disciplined dreamers all have one thing in common: a mission. The mission is often risky, unconventional, and most likely tough as hell to achieve. But it is possible. The kind of discipline that turns a dream into a mission, and a mission into a reality, really just comes down to a process of setting goals. Throughout his career, Bill Clinton’s political aspirations and his ability to reach out to others have gone hand in hand. He made it a nightly habit to record, on index cards, the names and Disciplined dreamers all have one thing in common: a mission. The mission is often risky, unconventional, and most likely tough as hell to achieve. But it is possible. The kind of discipline that turns a dream into a mission, and a mission into a reality, really just comes down to a process of setting goals. Throughout his career, Bill Clinton’s political aspirations and his ability to reach out to others have gone hand in hand. He made it a nightly habit to record, on index cards, the names and vital information of every person whom he’d met that day. After writing down the information about someone he just met, Clinton said, “I’m going into politics and plan to run for governor of Arkansas, and I’m keeping track of everyone I meet. Don’t wait until you’re out of a job, or on your own, to begin reaching out to others. You’ve got to create a community of colleagues and friends before you need it. Others around you are far more likely to help you if they already know and like you. Every time I make a call or introduce myself to people I don’t know, the fear that they might reject me is there. Then I remember the Big Wheel my father got me, and push ahead anyway. It’s not necessarily strong contacts, like family and close friends, that prove the most powerful; to the contrary, often the most important people in our network are those who are acquaintances.

  21. 4 out of 5

    Jamie

    2.5 stars. What I liked: The book has some helpful pointers for those who are shy or who are not inclined to engage with strangers. I would recommend it for new professionals. I think it is also helpful that the author emphasizes that it isn't easy, or natural, even for extroverts to put themselves out there all the time. I also appreciated that he shared some of his rejections, showing that even the best networkers strike out sometimes. What I didn't like: Sometimes the author is too braggy , wh 2.5 stars. What I liked: The book has some helpful pointers for those who are shy or who are not inclined to engage with strangers. I would recommend it for new professionals. I think it is also helpful that the author emphasizes that it isn't easy, or natural, even for extroverts to put themselves out there all the time. I also appreciated that he shared some of his rejections, showing that even the best networkers strike out sometimes. What I didn't like: Sometimes the author is too braggy , which is off-putting. I thought I was going to relate to his blue collar background, but all of his bragging came across as trying too hard to prove himself. Some of his tactics sound highly obnoxious and I doubt he understands how they come across. Who, upon landing from a flight, calls an acquaintance to say "I'm in town but I don't have time for you". Really? I very much doubt his assertion that the friend will just be glad to hear from you at all. I would immediately delete this person from my contacts. I'm also not sure I agree with his claim that you should get personal quickly. Nothing screams "needy" like someone sitting next to me at a conference who wants to talk to me about a recent breakup. I guess "personal" is very relative.

  22. 4 out of 5

    Jacob

    This book goes into the Top 10 Must Reads that I recommend to everyone in every profession. The principles of "connecting" strike a nerve of truth that gives power to the actionable steps the author suggests. I love the new vocabulary that this book gives us in reference to networking. Essentially we learn in this book that relationships are our greatest assets and that our best relationships are those in which we create high value for people we care about. This is the skill that must be honed. This book goes into the Top 10 Must Reads that I recommend to everyone in every profession. The principles of "connecting" strike a nerve of truth that gives power to the actionable steps the author suggests. I love the new vocabulary that this book gives us in reference to networking. Essentially we learn in this book that relationships are our greatest assets and that our best relationships are those in which we create high value for people we care about. This is the skill that must be honed. Caring about more people and discovering how we can create more value for them.

  23. 5 out of 5

    Craig Kissho

    Catchy title but this book bored me to tears. I stuck with it for a few months, reading bit by bit, hoping that somewhere i could discover some gem of a wisdom. But each passing day I got more and more nauseated and finally decided to just file it for good. Nothing new in here, just the same run of the mill advice on how to build contacts. Most of the book sounded insincere, cliched - and some parts just sounded like bs to me. The bragging n self congratulatory tone were rally tiring.

  24. 5 out of 5

    Wyncy

    Omg Keith, stop bragging.

  25. 5 out of 5

    Mike McAuliff

    If you can get past the constant stream of self congratulatory talk from the author, there is value to be discovered in this book. Do yourself a favor and just Google the cliff notes version. On the bright side, if you are looking for a new drinking game ... take a shot every time he uses the word “prestigious”. Refrain from driving afterwards though.

  26. 4 out of 5

    Aušrinė

    In my opinion, nothing really new. However, a good kick for introverts to drive into the world and expand their network. ///// PERSONAL NOTES \\\\\\ Everything in the universe only exists because it is in relationship to everything else. Nothing exists in isolation. We have to stop pretending we are individuals that can go it alone. Your relationships with others are your finest, most credible expression of who you are and what you have to offer. In one word: connect. In four better words: connec In my opinion, nothing really new. However, a good kick for introverts to drive into the world and expand their network. ///// PERSONAL NOTES \\\\\\ Everything in the universe only exists because it is in relationship to everything else. Nothing exists in isolation. We have to stop pretending we are individuals that can go it alone. Your relationships with others are your finest, most credible expression of who you are and what you have to offer. In one word: connect. In four better words: connect with the connectors. Connecting is a way of seeing the world. Balance is an individual mind-set. Where you find joy, you find balance. Conversational currency: current events/niche interest for which you have passion/expertise in what most others don’t know/tell what you have in common / be passionate about what people do and make them feel special. Breaks are where the real work happens. Try to see a room of people as a playing field. Start bumping. The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. The phrase “You’re wonderful. Tell me more” never fails. Real networking is about finding ways to make other people more successful. Ask: “How can I help you?”. Be generous. Creativity begets more creativity, money begets more money, knowledge begets more knowledge, more friends beget more friends, success begets even more success. Most important, giving begets giving. And abundance leads to even more abundance. Find out what is the motivations drive for someone. Ask: „What do you really want?“ (it often comes down to one of three things: making money, finding love, or changing the world). Every person you meet, is an opportunity to help and be helped. There are three things in this world that engender deep emotional bonds between people. They are health, wealth, and children. When you help someone through a health issue, positively impact someone’s personal wealth, or take a sincere interest in their children, you engender life-bonding loyalty. When you address those fundamental issues, you allow them the opportunity to move up the pyramid of needs to tackle some of their higher desires. Think of it as a game. When someone mentions a problem, try to think of solutions. The solutions come from experience, knowledge, friends, and associates. In building a network, remember: above all, never, ever disappear. Look for ways to include others in whatever you’re doing (share a car ride to the airport). The network is like a muscle—the more you work it, the bigger it gets. The trick is not to work obsessively on the skills and talents you lack, but to focus and cultivate your strengths so that your weaknesses matter less. I’d apply the 80/20 rule. Credibility is the first thing you want to establish in any interaction. Having a mutual friend or even acquaintance will immediately make you stand out from the other. BUSINESS A growing business is not always a knowledge problem. Most of the time it’s people's problem, with a people solution. The creation of community is the most valuable form of social capital - it satisfies our human need for connection, belonging, and meaning. Once in business, write down a list of people called “influentials”: the early adopters, journalists, and industry analysts who help spread the initial buzz. Next, make a list of potential customers. The impact of mentors: ask for help and guidance. Think about where the top people in your desired industry hang out. Prepare how you will meet them. All content creators are readers, or at least deep questioners or conversationalists. “How does my content help others answer who they are, where they are from, and where they are going?” What truly moves us as human beings, what prompts us into action, is emotion. What do you want people to think when they hear or read your name? - identity. Your positioning message should include a list of words that you want people to use when referring to you. The world is your stage. Your message is your “play.” The character you portray is your brand. Success: once you get written about, other reporters will come calling. The media are like any other business. They have a job to do. If you can help them do their job better, or easier, they’re going to love you. Most of the biggest articles can come from your own contacts. How to sell: tell people how you’re solving a problem they already know they have. Before business: Join Conversations Before You Start Them. Social media: tell about what’s got your attention. “Networking and being generous to the people I meet“ - 30 percent of the job description. Remember, your ideas don’t have to be perfectly refined to reel in fellow enthusiasts. All you have to do is engage people—and chances are, those people will have questions and answers that you could never have imagined, pushing you further. If your passion fires are burning low, stoke them with novelty. People don’t only hire people they like, they hire people who they think can make them and their companies better. That means someone with an expanded view of the world. When sessions open up for questions, try and be among the first people to put your hand in the air. Make someone coming to you after saying “That was an interesting question.” Get to know the most popular man or woman at the conference / be an information hub (as an information resource, you’re someone always worth knowing) / become a reporter (take notes on everything, and when the event is over, whip it all into a story or a photo series for posting). Find super-connectors. FRIENDSHIP Our paychecks, our moods, the health of our hearts, and the size of our bellies—all of these things are determined by whom we choose to interact with and how. Friendship is created out of the quality of time spent between two people, not the quantity. It is what you do together that matters, not how often you meet. “Weak ties” are generally more important than those you consider strong. They occupy a very different world than you do. They’re hanging out with different people, often in different worlds, with access to a whole inventory of knowledge and information unavailable to you and your close friends. Hunt out people who look and act and sound nothing like you do. Seek out ideas from people you don’t ordinarily talk to who inhabit professional worlds you don’t ordinarily travel in. It’s astonishing how much more you can learn about someone when you are both doing something you enjoy. Make a list of the things you’re most passionate about. Use your passions as a guide to which activities and events you should be seeking out. Use them to engage new and old contacts (15 min and a cup of coffee / share a workout, hobby/dinner, or lunch/volunteering). Make follow-up a habit. SUCCESS IN LIFE = (THE PEOPLE YOU MEET) + (WHAT YOU CREATE TOGETHER). Poverty is not only a lack of financial resources. It’s isolation from the kind of people who could help you make more of yourself. ADDITIONAL (ABOUT GOALS) There is no such thing as a “self-made” man. We are made up of thousands of others. Everyone who has ever done a kind deed for us, or spoken one word of encouragement to us, has entered into the make-up of our character and of our thoughts, as well as our success. Growth comes only from change. And change comes only from new goals. MISSION Be specific. Make more money or more friends? The more specific you are about what you want to do, the easier it becomes to develop a strategy to accomplish it. When you have clearly defined goals, you don’t flow waiting for things to happen. Have you ever sat down and thought seriously about what you truly love? What you’re good at? What do you want to accomplish in life? What are the obstacles that are stopping you? Look inside: create a list of dreams and goals. Next to that first list, write down in a second column all the things that bring you joy and pleasure: the achievements, people, and things that move me. Which activities excite you the most, where you don’t even notice the hours that pass? When you’re done, start to connect these two lists, looking for intersections, that sense of direction or purpose. Look outside: ask the people who know you best what they think your greatest strengths and weaknesses are. Ask them what they admire about you and what areas you may need help in. Put goals on paper. Create Relationship Action Plan. The first part is devoted to the development of the goals that will help you fulfill your mission. The second part is devoted to connecting those goals to the people, places, and things that will help you get the job done. And the third part helps you determine the best way to reach out to the people who will help you to accomplish your goals. The choice isn’t between success and failure; it’s between choosing risk and striving for greatness. Extra: the problem isn’t information overload, it’s filter failure. Be a disciplined dreamer.

  27. 5 out of 5

    Hien Le

    Things I hated about this book: * endless name dropping of rich and famous people that the author knows * advice about how to text people during toilet / taxi time so that a whole bunch of schmoes think they're your BFFs * vague and generic stories about the little people that the author has molded into winners * something about how adver-gaming is the greatest thing since sliced bread Somewhere in there is some practical but obvious advice like: * look for deep connections rather than shallow ones * t Things I hated about this book: * endless name dropping of rich and famous people that the author knows * advice about how to text people during toilet / taxi time so that a whole bunch of schmoes think they're your BFFs * vague and generic stories about the little people that the author has molded into winners * something about how adver-gaming is the greatest thing since sliced bread Somewhere in there is some practical but obvious advice like: * look for deep connections rather than shallow ones * treat people well even if they can't further your agenda but really unless you're already some rich successful schmoozer, mover, and shaker like the author the advice probably isn't very actionable despite there constantly being talk of a Relationship Action Plan (or system, philosophy, blah blah blah).

  28. 4 out of 5

    Mariam

    "Never Eat Lunch Alone" – On how to build relationships in all walks of life with depth and meaning. "Never Eat Lunch Alone" – On how to build relationships in all walks of life with depth and meaning.

  29. 4 out of 5

    Ciro

    An elitist, self-congratulatory, snobatorium. But filled with great tips so I’ll give it a 4/5.

  30. 4 out of 5

    Theigbobandit

    The one book that could get me to see how networking ties in with my long term goals

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