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The Enneagram in Love and Work: Understanding Your Intimate and Business Relationships

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New from Helen Palmer, a "leading teacher and practitioner of the Enneagram" (San Francisco Chronicle), the first Enneagram book to give practical advice, in fascinating detail, on how to have the best possible relationships in love and business. New from Helen Palmer, a "leading teacher and practitioner of the Enneagram" (San Francisco Chronicle), the first Enneagram book to give practical advice, in fascinating detail, on how to have the best possible relationships in love and business.


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New from Helen Palmer, a "leading teacher and practitioner of the Enneagram" (San Francisco Chronicle), the first Enneagram book to give practical advice, in fascinating detail, on how to have the best possible relationships in love and business. New from Helen Palmer, a "leading teacher and practitioner of the Enneagram" (San Francisco Chronicle), the first Enneagram book to give practical advice, in fascinating detail, on how to have the best possible relationships in love and business.

30 review for The Enneagram in Love and Work: Understanding Your Intimate and Business Relationships

  1. 4 out of 5

    Matt McAlear

    It was a very tough read for me due to the lack of science and validity behind the enneagram. I found it tried to mix several spiritual practices into the core philosophy of the teaching which ended up muddying the message even further. It was interesting to see what camp they put you in and could potentially be useful if you use it as a very soft guide to help you look at yourself and people in a different way. However, I found that it was mostly a waste of time in correlation to the value rece It was a very tough read for me due to the lack of science and validity behind the enneagram. I found it tried to mix several spiritual practices into the core philosophy of the teaching which ended up muddying the message even further. It was interesting to see what camp they put you in and could potentially be useful if you use it as a very soft guide to help you look at yourself and people in a different way. However, I found that it was mostly a waste of time in correlation to the value received for time spent.

  2. 5 out of 5

    Laurie

    This would not be my pick for someone's first exposure to enneagram work - for that it would be Wisdom of the Enneagram. But because we improve both our close, loving relationships and our work relationships by understanding specific people's personalities (and our own) better, this book could serve as a trouble-preventer/trouble-shooter for the more confusing ones. This book could be used as a reference for improving the specific ways your personality reacts to someone important (or at least so This would not be my pick for someone's first exposure to enneagram work - for that it would be Wisdom of the Enneagram. But because we improve both our close, loving relationships and our work relationships by understanding specific people's personalities (and our own) better, this book could serve as a trouble-preventer/trouble-shooter for the more confusing ones. This book could be used as a reference for improving the specific ways your personality reacts to someone important (or at least someone not going away any time soon) in your life.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Josiah Sanchez

    There are many Enneagram books that provide insights into humanity. However, this one has been especially insightful. From the clear and encompassing descriptions of the Enneagram numbers to the goods and bads of different number combinations, this book is a must read for Enneagram scholars and lovers. It helped me evaluate my current and past romantic relationships so clearly, especially the reasons they weren’t successful and what I need to change in order to be a better partner. It also gave There are many Enneagram books that provide insights into humanity. However, this one has been especially insightful. From the clear and encompassing descriptions of the Enneagram numbers to the goods and bads of different number combinations, this book is a must read for Enneagram scholars and lovers. It helped me evaluate my current and past romantic relationships so clearly, especially the reasons they weren’t successful and what I need to change in order to be a better partner. It also gave me insight into why certain things break down between coworkers or even friends and family. All in all, this has been the best Enneagram book for thinking outside of my number. It’s important to note that this book is likely not the best Enneagram starter book as it starts where most other books leave off.

  4. 5 out of 5

    Nicole Goodman

    Great content but very verbose and dense language! This should supposedly be your third book on Enneagram and you can tell from how theoretical the concepts are. I enjoyed reading about Enneagram in a novel format though since it forced me to read about types that are not my own. (If I'm reading online, I just skip straight to 4w3 every time.) Recommend everyone learn about Enneagram to better understand how you connect with different types of people in your personal and professional life. Great content but very verbose and dense language! This should supposedly be your third book on Enneagram and you can tell from how theoretical the concepts are. I enjoyed reading about Enneagram in a novel format though since it forced me to read about types that are not my own. (If I'm reading online, I just skip straight to 4w3 every time.) Recommend everyone learn about Enneagram to better understand how you connect with different types of people in your personal and professional life.

  5. 4 out of 5

    Andrea

    As one reviewer said, this is probably a good second or third book for those interested in the Enneagram - this should definitely not be an intro text. The most helpful section was Part III - detailing how each type (1 with 5, 7 with 9, etc) commonly interacts with each other whether in an intimate relationship (friend/romantic partner) or in a work relationship (manager/employee). Honestly, you can just go to the Enneagram Institute website and read how each type interacts with the other type t As one reviewer said, this is probably a good second or third book for those interested in the Enneagram - this should definitely not be an intro text. The most helpful section was Part III - detailing how each type (1 with 5, 7 with 9, etc) commonly interacts with each other whether in an intimate relationship (friend/romantic partner) or in a work relationship (manager/employee). Honestly, you can just go to the Enneagram Institute website and read how each type interacts with the other type there. I struggled with the choppy, "start and stop" writing style. I also wished the author had completely eliminated Part 2 (an in-depth discussion of each type) and had fleshed out Part III with more quotes from personal experience. Overall, this book is recommended for those interested in how to work / communicate more effectively with others - but may be more helpful as an occasional resource than as a book to be read cover to cover. For what it's worth, this review was written by a Type 1.

  6. 4 out of 5

    E.J.

    I only read the sections which applied to me or loved ones, but this book was SUPER helpful/spot on. I’m not into astrology. I’m not a firm believer in personality tests. However, I like the enneagram. Reading the “Two—Helper” section, I felt both called out and understood by the writer. One of best on-paper therapy sessions I’ve experienced. This book has me looking forward to more self-improvement in 2020. Thanks, Georgia, for sending!

  7. 5 out of 5

    Ted Tyler

    This book is best read by people looking for their 3rd or 4th Enneagram book. It's utility is definitely the second half of the book that theorizes about how different numbers interact together. I found to be insightful in offering a theory about why different numbers can experience each other different in life and in work situations. Definitely worth a read! This book is best read by people looking for their 3rd or 4th Enneagram book. It's utility is definitely the second half of the book that theorizes about how different numbers interact together. I found to be insightful in offering a theory about why different numbers can experience each other different in life and in work situations. Definitely worth a read!

  8. 5 out of 5

    Melody

    2.5 The content of this book is ok, but I found the choppy writing style very off-putting. The most helpful section was the “directory of relationships” which discussed dynamics present in romantic pairs or work pairs of the nine numbers. But even there, I wished there were more suggestions for cross-number conversation. It felt more like bullet points for problems.

  9. 4 out of 5

    Liz

    This Enneagram book's strength is in its title: it focuses on how enneagram personalities play out their characteristics in their intimate romantic relationships and interpersonally in the workplace. Long read. This Enneagram book's strength is in its title: it focuses on how enneagram personalities play out their characteristics in their intimate romantic relationships and interpersonally in the workplace. Long read.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Paul

    I'm not sure I'll ever be "done" with this book. Authored by one of the top enneagram practitioners, I'll likely refer back to this book time and again. The insight into relationships between styles is really well set out in this book. I'm not sure I'll ever be "done" with this book. Authored by one of the top enneagram practitioners, I'll likely refer back to this book time and again. The insight into relationships between styles is really well set out in this book.

  11. 4 out of 5

    R.H. Krämer

    While there is no one size fit all approach to human relationships, this book offered great tools for dealing with different types of people with different motivations. It was an easy read.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Devon Roush

    Very insightful and I enjoyed learning about the types and how they interacted with each other.

  13. 5 out of 5

    Analise

    I read everything but skimmed the directory of relationships (just read the twos). It was fine but I’ve realized reading enneagram material without the Christian lens can just feel sad. Like it just felt very descriptive and not like there was an underlying sense of purpose

  14. 4 out of 5

    Michael S

    Very alienating writing style. Did not finish the book.

  15. 4 out of 5

    Shannon

    Helen Palmer is the fourth author whose work I have read on the Enneagram. I started with Richard Rohr (The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective), tried Emotions and the Enneagram: Working Through Your Shadow Life Script and loved The Wisdom of the Enneagram: The Complete Guide to Psychological and Spiritual Growth for the Nine Personality Types. So I wondered, even as I requested this book from the library, whether it would have anything new to offer me. It did not disappoint. What sets this book Helen Palmer is the fourth author whose work I have read on the Enneagram. I started with Richard Rohr (The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective), tried Emotions and the Enneagram: Working Through Your Shadow Life Script and loved The Wisdom of the Enneagram: The Complete Guide to Psychological and Spiritual Growth for the Nine Personality Types. So I wondered, even as I requested this book from the library, whether it would have anything new to offer me. It did not disappoint. What sets this book apart is the relationship directory. I loved reading about how various Enneagram numbers interact relationship. It was helpful to read about how challenging relationships for all 8s and 1s are - its helped me see that my daughters don't just fight because they are sisters, but because of how God made them and the priorities He has given them. And Palmer's analysis rang true again and again. As I read about the combination of my own marriage, I could see how both the strengths and weaknesses she described have played out in my life. I wouldn't necessarily make this the first Enneagram book you read. (For that, I would go with The Wisdom of the Enneagram.) But if you are looking for a fresh perspective after having read the Riso and Hudson book, this is a good place to go. Palmer's voice throughout is non-judgmental and strives for understanding and compassion - which is exactly what I love about the Enneagram itself.

  16. 4 out of 5

    Emma

    This is the book I've liked best out of the ones I've read on the Enneagram. It's practical - it applies the info to work and relationships rather than just offering abstract conceptual descriptions of your personality. The book has two sections - the first describes each type in depth and the second explores how each of the types interacts with each of the other types, both on the job and in personal relationships. If you can get your partner or coworker to take an Enneagram test, it can give y This is the book I've liked best out of the ones I've read on the Enneagram. It's practical - it applies the info to work and relationships rather than just offering abstract conceptual descriptions of your personality. The book has two sections - the first describes each type in depth and the second explores how each of the types interacts with each of the other types, both on the job and in personal relationships. If you can get your partner or coworker to take an Enneagram test, it can give you a lot of insight into your interactions. Like all good personality systems, it describes both the positive aspects and the struggles each type has. I also like how it explains not just the characteristics, but the logic behind them in each types brain. For instance, I am an 8, and it describes the worldview of an 8 as being preoccupied with truth, justice, and defending innocence. "If undivided truth prevailed, control would be unnecessary." I would never have come up with that description, but it hits a deep chord. That's exactly what I believe, which is why I'm preoccupied with truth - I want to expose, encourage, reveal, and remind people of the truth, because I believe it is what will heal the world and make everyone's lives better. The Enneagram is a spiritual system and describes each personality in terms of the core wound we each have - and our personality's response to it. The 8's response is to recognize that innocence and vulnerability are seen as weakness and the strong dominate the weak, and thus they decide to be the strong ones, but also to defend the innocent - and, I think, innocence in general. Besides understanding and validating yourself, the Enneagram is useful in becoming aware of the other types of worldviews out there - that yours isn't the only one (kind of a problem for 8s) - and to understand how to best interact with people to encourage their growth and avoid personality-based conflict.

  17. 5 out of 5

    Richard Stuart

    Essential reading for anyone in a relationship (successful, difficult, or bewildering) or for anyone looking to get into a relationship. First of all, you will find yourself in this book. Second of all, you will understand your personality better than you ever have before. Thirdly, and hopefully, you will come to the realization that your personality isn't the totality of your 'self'... that there is a more essential 'self', a more authentic and more loving 'self' that can be activated. Then, us Essential reading for anyone in a relationship (successful, difficult, or bewildering) or for anyone looking to get into a relationship. First of all, you will find yourself in this book. Second of all, you will understand your personality better than you ever have before. Thirdly, and hopefully, you will come to the realization that your personality isn't the totality of your 'self'... that there is a more essential 'self', a more authentic and more loving 'self' that can be activated. Then, use the section on how the different types get along to find out what their synergies and challenges are in relating to one another! Your relationships will be profoundly illuminated!!! If you are open and curious, this book could expand your awareness exponentially.

  18. 4 out of 5

    Melanie

    Enlightening book on the 9 different personality types of the Enneagram and the nuances of how they may manifest and work together and against in love and work relationships. I was a little disappointed that this book did not offer a quiz so that one could determine which type they most identified with but the descriptions were detailed enough that one might correctly identify themselves. This book isn't necessarily one that needs be read cover to cover, but one to refer to when seeking advice o Enlightening book on the 9 different personality types of the Enneagram and the nuances of how they may manifest and work together and against in love and work relationships. I was a little disappointed that this book did not offer a quiz so that one could determine which type they most identified with but the descriptions were detailed enough that one might correctly identify themselves. This book isn't necessarily one that needs be read cover to cover, but one to refer to when seeking advice on how to navigate certain relationships between the types. This book is worth considering as an aid to human relations and a guide to understanding self.

  19. 4 out of 5

    Jennifer

    I love how in depth she described each of the types in this book. For me, I felt it really provided a depth of understanding how the types may be seen in romantic relationships and work situations (and how they may interact in these situations with select types). It's not a "all in one" book cause there's definitely other books I'd go to for other references and understanding, but Helen's descriptions and way of writing I've noticed does resonate with me more than some others takes on the enneag I love how in depth she described each of the types in this book. For me, I felt it really provided a depth of understanding how the types may be seen in romantic relationships and work situations (and how they may interact in these situations with select types). It's not a "all in one" book cause there's definitely other books I'd go to for other references and understanding, but Helen's descriptions and way of writing I've noticed does resonate with me more than some others takes on the enneagram.

  20. 4 out of 5

    Garland Vance

    I have read several books about the Enneagram and have been studying it for a couple of years, and this is the best resource I've read so far. Palmer gives tremendous insights for each of the Enneagram types. The unique feature of the book is that it gives insights for how different Enneagram types work together or be in a relationship with each other. I highly recommend his for those who are interested in digging deeply into the Enneagram. I have read several books about the Enneagram and have been studying it for a couple of years, and this is the best resource I've read so far. Palmer gives tremendous insights for each of the Enneagram types. The unique feature of the book is that it gives insights for how different Enneagram types work together or be in a relationship with each other. I highly recommend his for those who are interested in digging deeply into the Enneagram.

  21. 5 out of 5

    Jeremy

    This book probably deserves a higher rating for what it accomplishes, but I was so overwhelmed with data that I found it difficult to walk away with tangible insight. It's the most comprehensive work on the Enneagram that I've seen, but it is so thorough that after reading through the information on Reformers, I felt that I couldn't process anything further. I would say that this is for Enneagram buffs and addicts, not for your first exposure to the construct. This book probably deserves a higher rating for what it accomplishes, but I was so overwhelmed with data that I found it difficult to walk away with tangible insight. It's the most comprehensive work on the Enneagram that I've seen, but it is so thorough that after reading through the information on Reformers, I felt that I couldn't process anything further. I would say that this is for Enneagram buffs and addicts, not for your first exposure to the construct.

  22. 4 out of 5

    Gloria

    Yes, I'm a sucker for the psychology of "personality types" and how they interact and why they do the things they do. This book is pretty fascinating. I've dabbled with other personality tests, but the accuracy in this unnerved me slightly. By the time I'd finished reading about "my type," I was beginning to wonder if someone hadn't either been reading my diary or had hidden cameras not only in my house, but in my head. Yes, I'm a sucker for the psychology of "personality types" and how they interact and why they do the things they do. This book is pretty fascinating. I've dabbled with other personality tests, but the accuracy in this unnerved me slightly. By the time I'd finished reading about "my type," I was beginning to wonder if someone hadn't either been reading my diary or had hidden cameras not only in my house, but in my head.

  23. 5 out of 5

    Bob

    A colleague suggested that this was the most helpful book she had read on the Enneagram. Out of my sample of two, I would agree. Palmer provides descriptions of each of the nine types based on self-descriptions by panelists at enneagram workshops conducted by the author. The book focuses on the enneagram types in both love and work relationships. I actually found the directory of relationships most helpful as she looks at the interactions of various types with one another.

  24. 5 out of 5

    David

    I think I've officially read too much about the enneagram this year. I have been fascinated by this and enjoyed learning about it. This book may be when I jumped the shark and got bored. I guess the biggest challenge at this point is that they say you can't type other people yet this whole book is based on you assuming you know the types of other people. That said, still a decent offering if you want to learn more about the enneagram. I think I've officially read too much about the enneagram this year. I have been fascinated by this and enjoyed learning about it. This book may be when I jumped the shark and got bored. I guess the biggest challenge at this point is that they say you can't type other people yet this whole book is based on you assuming you know the types of other people. That said, still a decent offering if you want to learn more about the enneagram.

  25. 4 out of 5

    Wendy

    This provides some great insights into how the types interact. The individual descriptors of what motivates and bogs down each type are right on in my experience. The more I read about all nine types from different sources, the more adept I am becoming at helping others I love and work with to recognize and respond to their type.

  26. 4 out of 5

    Josephine Myles

    Really useful stuff here in helping you understand characters and motivations in depth. It's earned a permanent place on my writing research shelf. It didn't get five stars, though, because it's pretty hard to navigate. Definitely could have done with more indexing and subheadings to make it easier to browse through. Really useful stuff here in helping you understand characters and motivations in depth. It's earned a permanent place on my writing research shelf. It didn't get five stars, though, because it's pretty hard to navigate. Definitely could have done with more indexing and subheadings to make it easier to browse through.

  27. 5 out of 5

    Healingneedle

    Currently reading, but skipping around. This one is even more in depth than the enneagram made simple, a more complete picture... although I'm still wondering where the love/work dynamic comes in. I was hoping there'd be more about the interplay between types. Currently reading, but skipping around. This one is even more in depth than the enneagram made simple, a more complete picture... although I'm still wondering where the love/work dynamic comes in. I was hoping there'd be more about the interplay between types.

  28. 5 out of 5

    Emma

    Am actually really enjoying this book. Twas a present from a psych prof that I teach with and I am finding her writing very accessible. Even for non-psych majors, I think it would be very insightful and helpful.

  29. 4 out of 5

    Kimberly

    I love personality diagnosing books, so this one was great for me. The enneagram is so interesting to learn about. I liked how this one could define relationships based on individual personalities. It is pretty true too!

  30. 4 out of 5

    Rob Wilder

    The Enneagram is an awesome system for codifying complex personality archetypes and how they relate to each other. I found this book to be extremely helpful in sales, team building, relationships, and management of people

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