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Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love: Simple Ways to Nurture and Strengthen Your Relationships While Avoiding the Habits That Break Down Your Loving Connection

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Heartache, anger, insecurities, and just the daily hassles of living together can cause friction in even the most happy couples. And for people who’ve been together for years, there’s the problem of simply taking each other for granted, and not putting enough energy into keeping the relationship vivid and alive. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff in Love shows couples how to live Heartache, anger, insecurities, and just the daily hassles of living together can cause friction in even the most happy couples. And for people who’ve been together for years, there’s the problem of simply taking each other for granted, and not putting enough energy into keeping the relationship vivid and alive. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff in Love shows couples how to live together with revived passion, how not to let the little everyday irritations get to them, and how to appreciate each other in new and exciting ways. In one hundred beautifully written but very practical essays, Richard and Kris Carlson show readers how not to overreact to a loved one’s criticism, how to get past old angers, how to let go of your top three pet peeves, and how to choose peace over irritation. They include such helpful advice as thinking before you speak, learning to cast away jealousy, avoiding one-upping, and not confusing your own frustration with a problem in the relationship. Essays such as “Try Not to Treat Ordinary Stuff Like Front-Page News” and “Become a Low-Maintenance Partner” will spur discussion with your spouse that will shed new light on even the longest-term relationships. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff in Love is the book that will help make you and your partner’s life together more peaceful, less stressful and more fun. In Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff in Love, readers learn how to improve their relationships by following Richard’s and Kris Carlson’s best personal advice: Learn to Laugh at Yourself Don’t Come Home Frazzled Don’t Make Your Partner Walk on Eggshells Be Sensitive When You Use Sarcasm Don’t Sweat the Occasional Criticism Become a World-Class Listener Look Out for Each Other - and much more.


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Heartache, anger, insecurities, and just the daily hassles of living together can cause friction in even the most happy couples. And for people who’ve been together for years, there’s the problem of simply taking each other for granted, and not putting enough energy into keeping the relationship vivid and alive. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff in Love shows couples how to live Heartache, anger, insecurities, and just the daily hassles of living together can cause friction in even the most happy couples. And for people who’ve been together for years, there’s the problem of simply taking each other for granted, and not putting enough energy into keeping the relationship vivid and alive. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff in Love shows couples how to live together with revived passion, how not to let the little everyday irritations get to them, and how to appreciate each other in new and exciting ways. In one hundred beautifully written but very practical essays, Richard and Kris Carlson show readers how not to overreact to a loved one’s criticism, how to get past old angers, how to let go of your top three pet peeves, and how to choose peace over irritation. They include such helpful advice as thinking before you speak, learning to cast away jealousy, avoiding one-upping, and not confusing your own frustration with a problem in the relationship. Essays such as “Try Not to Treat Ordinary Stuff Like Front-Page News” and “Become a Low-Maintenance Partner” will spur discussion with your spouse that will shed new light on even the longest-term relationships. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff in Love is the book that will help make you and your partner’s life together more peaceful, less stressful and more fun. In Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff in Love, readers learn how to improve their relationships by following Richard’s and Kris Carlson’s best personal advice: Learn to Laugh at Yourself Don’t Come Home Frazzled Don’t Make Your Partner Walk on Eggshells Be Sensitive When You Use Sarcasm Don’t Sweat the Occasional Criticism Become a World-Class Listener Look Out for Each Other - and much more.

30 review for Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love: Simple Ways to Nurture and Strengthen Your Relationships While Avoiding the Habits That Break Down Your Loving Connection

  1. 5 out of 5

    Claire

    This book is really How to Chill, How to Rule, and How to be Cool with Your Boyfriend, Roomies, Family, Friends and Coworkers. Or: How to Let Love, Not Worry Rule Your World. I wish I had read this when I was 12 so I could have avoided a whole lotta dick moves in my life I learned not to pull by hurting previous relationships. Some of these tips seem commonsense, but aren't second nature like "Don't come home frazzled." This book is Step 2 in my plan to be more peaceful. Expect to see more self- This book is really How to Chill, How to Rule, and How to be Cool with Your Boyfriend, Roomies, Family, Friends and Coworkers. Or: How to Let Love, Not Worry Rule Your World. I wish I had read this when I was 12 so I could have avoided a whole lotta dick moves in my life I learned not to pull by hurting previous relationships. Some of these tips seem commonsense, but aren't second nature like "Don't come home frazzled." This book is Step 2 in my plan to be more peaceful. Expect to see more self-helpy stuff this-a-way.

  2. 5 out of 5

    Jeffrey

    While this book was definitely not written for folks like me - i.e. queer with a non-traditional approach to relationships - I thought there were some helpful points made about why and how to let the small stuff go.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Lindsey

    This book in a word: fluff. There are 100 short chapters, each on an idea to improve your marriage. But there are actually about 5 ideas, rephrased 20 times each. Each chapter follows the same format: introduction of the idea, a story illustrating the idea, the author telling how he and his wife live the concept perfectly, and a disclaimer. For example, in the chapter on Allowing Your Partner Some Eccentricities they say, "Now, we're not suggesting that you put up with any truly neurotic behavio This book in a word: fluff. There are 100 short chapters, each on an idea to improve your marriage. But there are actually about 5 ideas, rephrased 20 times each. Each chapter follows the same format: introduction of the idea, a story illustrating the idea, the author telling how he and his wife live the concept perfectly, and a disclaimer. For example, in the chapter on Allowing Your Partner Some Eccentricities they say, "Now, we're not suggesting that you put up with any truly neurotic behavior." Really? That's good, because if that weren't there, I would probably allow my spouse to abuse me emotionally and physically and then I would have sued the authors for telling me to do it. Anyway, I received this book as a gift and it looked like a really short read (it only took me 7 months) so I started it and then for some reason I made myself finish it. I gave it two stars because just reading about being nice to my spouse made me a little nicer, I think :)

  4. 4 out of 5

    Elizabeth Meadows

    I tried to read the original version of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff several years ago and I couldn't get through it because I wasn't ready for this kind of advice. Fast forward to a more mature me and I really enjoyed this version since it applies to the marriage/partner relationship. I think that most of the chapters contain sound advice and should be taken to heart. I tried to read the original version of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff several years ago and I couldn't get through it because I wasn't ready for this kind of advice. Fast forward to a more mature me and I really enjoyed this version since it applies to the marriage/partner relationship. I think that most of the chapters contain sound advice and should be taken to heart.

  5. 5 out of 5

    Chantal Damphousse

    This book is worth reading on an annual basis for a regular tune up and has sound advice for new and seasoned relationships. The advice is very much applicable to all types of relationships, not just romantic ones.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Mindy

    This book isn't rocket science. BUT the advice is sound. There are times I need to be reminded of the little things that I forget about how to treat other people- particularly my husband- when I'm stressed or tired. I keep it handy and when I need a pick me up, I can find a chapter that brings me back to what's important- and reminds me of basic relationship skills I can neglect at times. This book isn't rocket science. BUT the advice is sound. There are times I need to be reminded of the little things that I forget about how to treat other people- particularly my husband- when I'm stressed or tired. I keep it handy and when I need a pick me up, I can find a chapter that brings me back to what's important- and reminds me of basic relationship skills I can neglect at times.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Afreen Pargaonkar

    Amazing book. It is a must read for all couples and if you are in a work and home relationship together it is a definite must read. Read it together like my husband and I did and you will reap the rewards even more. We love this entire series and intend to read them all. This is our second book in the series.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Clarissa Allen

    'Bout half way through. So far so good. Helps me remember to chill out when I get frazzled. Also helps me remember that I cant control anyone but myself, and trying to is just a waste of my time and energy that could be spent doing something that makes me feel happy and peaceful. 'Bout half way through. So far so good. Helps me remember to chill out when I get frazzled. Also helps me remember that I cant control anyone but myself, and trying to is just a waste of my time and energy that could be spent doing something that makes me feel happy and peaceful.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Alexandra M

    Loved the book, I believe is one of those extremely light read and didn’t bring anything innovative per say. With that said, it does give us a good reminder of what’s truly important and what’s ’small stuff’ that you can easily hold a grudge for.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Kira Dlusskaya

    I like the Don't Sweat the Small Stuff series. Once you've read one, any subsequent books will cover some of the same ground from a bit of a different perspective, which can understandably frustrate some people, but I've read several and found them all helpful and enjoyable. Here's why: covering some of the same material repeatedly in a low pressure relaxed way has helped me actually grasp and apply the ideas more. All the tips are simple and gentle reminders to do the common sense kind thing fo I like the Don't Sweat the Small Stuff series. Once you've read one, any subsequent books will cover some of the same ground from a bit of a different perspective, which can understandably frustrate some people, but I've read several and found them all helpful and enjoyable. Here's why: covering some of the same material repeatedly in a low pressure relaxed way has helped me actually grasp and apply the ideas more. All the tips are simple and gentle reminders to do the common sense kind thing for yourself and others. This book in particular was about how to behave in a monogamous relationship in a way that won't wreck it over time. Keeping in mind that the couple who wrote it seems to unabashedly have had a pretty traditional kind of family life, and they draw heavily on their own experiences and those of their (similarly traditional) friends, the book mostly talks about married heterosexual middle class couples with a high chance that the wife works part time or stays at home with the kids. So that's the context and examples in a nutshell. With that in mind, not all of the examples applied to me and that's ok. The suggestions are mainly for how to keep your own sanity by paying attention to your own behaviour and your own emotions and reactions, as well as changing your own actions. So while it is a couple themed book, it's got something in it for anyone who just wants to not be frustrated as much and treat others better.

  11. 5 out of 5

    Karla Winick-Ford

    Be consistently grateful. Respond with love. Never underestimate the power of love. When in doubt, pause. Sometimes it’s hard- reading this, I’m thinking who are you to tell me what to do? Oh, right- I bought this book and sought it out So yes, helpful advice- gratitude is empowering and humbling Love is the greatest gift you can give and most precious when it’s received Authors make it sound like do this and it’ll all be ok... when, the book doesn’t have that buffer like be prepared for this... Be consistently grateful. Respond with love. Never underestimate the power of love. When in doubt, pause. Sometimes it’s hard- reading this, I’m thinking who are you to tell me what to do? Oh, right- I bought this book and sought it out So yes, helpful advice- gratitude is empowering and humbling Love is the greatest gift you can give and most precious when it’s received Authors make it sound like do this and it’ll all be ok... when, the book doesn’t have that buffer like be prepared for this... So,... when hurt,.... pause I have found that helpful I’ve found it to be hurtful as well- I didn’t guard myself for the blow that followed the pause. True love is about trust, communication and all those sunshine things the lucky few find Authors have those rose colored glasses which give you hope Found a daily devotional more relevant, applicable and appropriate than hoping one could hold two together To treasure another means you too feel treasured That’s beyond individual control Focus on what you can control - that’s not small stuff

  12. 4 out of 5

    Sunshine Biskaps

    “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff in Love” by Richard Carlson This book not only teaches you to be a better partner in relationships, but also to be a better human being in all relationships. The top advice that I’ve picked up along life is to be genuinely grateful for all the experiences you have in life. Gratitude is where it’s at for me, for sure. The other top advice is to be kind to one another. I think everyone who has transitioned form a teenager to young adult should read this book, even if th “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff in Love” by Richard Carlson This book not only teaches you to be a better partner in relationships, but also to be a better human being in all relationships. The top advice that I’ve picked up along life is to be genuinely grateful for all the experiences you have in life. Gratitude is where it’s at for me, for sure. The other top advice is to be kind to one another. I think everyone who has transitioned form a teenager to young adult should read this book, even if they are not looking for love. Most of the 100 advices are helpful in keeping any friendship alive and strong. When I was much younger, I read his original “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” and although the suggestions are not rocket science, they are life-changing if you have never been taught them as a child. His books do sound similar to one another so I’d recommend reading at least one of his titles!

  13. 5 out of 5

    Coryl Addy

    After the halfway mark of this book, it felt fairly repetitive. It could have been a lot shorter and to the point. The advice itself was mixed, in my opinion. Some of it would be a good way to promote more love in a romantic relationship. But other strategies reminded me of codependent behaviour that shouldn't be encouraged. Also it was pretty heteronormative, with one piece of advice/3-page chapter mentioning how "/platonic/ opposite sex friendships" are a huge source of jealousy and insecurity After the halfway mark of this book, it felt fairly repetitive. It could have been a lot shorter and to the point. The advice itself was mixed, in my opinion. Some of it would be a good way to promote more love in a romantic relationship. But other strategies reminded me of codependent behaviour that shouldn't be encouraged. Also it was pretty heteronormative, with one piece of advice/3-page chapter mentioning how "/platonic/ opposite sex friendships" are a huge source of jealousy and insecurity in relationships... (But only hetero ones, because that's all this book discussed.)

  14. 4 out of 5

    MrKeyNotes

    Good good Puts things into perspective. Let’s you know what’s important and what isn’t and why most of our conflicts come from things that we one exaggerate. Sometimes love is hard because of all the specifics we hold on to, all the little expectations, all the meaningless arguments we blow out of proportion etc. maybe we may it harder than it is because we sweat the small stuff.

  15. 4 out of 5

    Don Browne

    Excellent guide to common sense relationship advise. Short chapters make it an easy read. While most all the chapters are unique they fall under fairly broad categories of be kind, listen to others, don't give advice unless asked, and remember the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence! Excellent guide to common sense relationship advise. Short chapters make it an easy read. While most all the chapters are unique they fall under fairly broad categories of be kind, listen to others, don't give advice unless asked, and remember the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence!

  16. 4 out of 5

    Random

    With much of the "not said" feelings, many relationships become fragile and vulnerable due to our ignorance and lack of knowledge. Sometimes we have to ask the spouse directly so we know his/her preferences and dislikes, without any guesses. If you aim to get more of social/emotional intelligence and to understand other’s actions in your relationships, this book is a good idea. With much of the "not said" feelings, many relationships become fragile and vulnerable due to our ignorance and lack of knowledge. Sometimes we have to ask the spouse directly so we know his/her preferences and dislikes, without any guesses. If you aim to get more of social/emotional intelligence and to understand other’s actions in your relationships, this book is a good idea.

  17. 5 out of 5

    Jaime Huffman

    Helpful in all relationships - romantic , friendships and family! Loved the practical tips. Great to read from daily and out to use immediately. Worth the time and makes a great gift.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Debby Ng

    I really liked this when I read it years ago but in rereading it after writing something similar, I thought it could have used more meat! And more from the female perspective. Interesting to read something again after writing. Anyways -- it's good but not 1/2 as good as I remember. I really liked this when I read it years ago but in rereading it after writing something similar, I thought it could have used more meat! And more from the female perspective. Interesting to read something again after writing. Anyways -- it's good but not 1/2 as good as I remember.

  19. 4 out of 5

    Aisha

    Great reference book. I liked the light and bite sized chapters. It's refreshing to also have real examples to work with. Over all, great read. Great reference book. I liked the light and bite sized chapters. It's refreshing to also have real examples to work with. Over all, great read.

  20. 5 out of 5

    Shawn Antonelli

    Really an excellent book providing the insights and ideas of how to continue to love the person who is most important to you. Great read!

  21. 5 out of 5

    Eve

    Very useful and able to implement in daily love life

  22. 5 out of 5

    Anjani Murti

    Decided to take things easy by reading relationship book. Boyfriend gave me this, he told me he randomly bought that book from previous #bigbadwolf sale 😁 Though i'm not really liking the content structure, It's a practical guide and for this stuck in reading slump (like me, as I usually read 3-4 long books at the same time) this can be considered a quick fix 👌 Decided to take things easy by reading relationship book. Boyfriend gave me this, he told me he randomly bought that book from previous #bigbadwolf sale 😁 Though i'm not really liking the content structure, It's a practical guide and for this stuck in reading slump (like me, as I usually read 3-4 long books at the same time) this can be considered a quick fix 👌

  23. 4 out of 5

    Gita

    It was a good book and I much learned from this book what’s do and dont in relationship😍

  24. 5 out of 5

    Sarah Dorothea

    2 out of 5 stars! ⭐️ I bought it on a wimp and I did not like it. I am just a sucker for beautiful covers so the book did not stay in my bookshelf, I gave it away... 🤭👌🏻👎🏻

  25. 4 out of 5

    Jen

    Very practical. Everyone should read in order to become more self aware of how their actions, words, and emotions play a significant role in not only romantic relationships — but all of one’s relationships with others. Also, note: I found this book difficult to read for long periods of time. Each chapter is bite sized, 2-4 pages, and thought-provoking. Don’t make plans to rush through the book — instead, I’d recommend keeping it on the nightstand or coffee table and read a few chapters at a time Very practical. Everyone should read in order to become more self aware of how their actions, words, and emotions play a significant role in not only romantic relationships — but all of one’s relationships with others. Also, note: I found this book difficult to read for long periods of time. Each chapter is bite sized, 2-4 pages, and thought-provoking. Don’t make plans to rush through the book — instead, I’d recommend keeping it on the nightstand or coffee table and read a few chapters at a time — and giving yourself one to soak in the ideas and mentally examine how you can apply them to your own life.

  26. 4 out of 5

    Mickey Reed

    This book had pretty good advice, but it really assumes that two people are meant to be together. Some relationships just aren't meant to be. The advice given really will only work if you're a willing participant in a relationship and want it to work out. Maybe that's a given, but not all relationships are created equal. My relationship could benefit from some of the knowledge dished out from this book because it's a healthy, working relationship with its share of ups and downs. I'm glad I read This book had pretty good advice, but it really assumes that two people are meant to be together. Some relationships just aren't meant to be. The advice given really will only work if you're a willing participant in a relationship and want it to work out. Maybe that's a given, but not all relationships are created equal. My relationship could benefit from some of the knowledge dished out from this book because it's a healthy, working relationship with its share of ups and downs. I'm glad I read it, in any case.

  27. 4 out of 5

    Angela Mason

    I think that this is a must read for any couple, especially at the beginning stages of a relationship. It gives sound, helpful and practical advice which if put into practice can reduce arguments. It makes you take a look at yourself and helps you to understand your partner better. It is a book that should be read again and by both partners lest you lose your way again later down the line or change partners.

  28. 5 out of 5

    Jhbyu

    Self improvement book meant. I feel it is better than 1st book, "don't sweat the small stuff." There is significant overlap between the two, but more applicable to you and others, whereas "don't sweat the small stuff" is more directed inward only. This one applies to more than just love relationships, good for friends and family. Self improvement book meant. I feel it is better than 1st book, "don't sweat the small stuff." There is significant overlap between the two, but more applicable to you and others, whereas "don't sweat the small stuff" is more directed inward only. This one applies to more than just love relationships, good for friends and family.

  29. 5 out of 5

    Natalia

    There's a chapter on PMS that basically says women are irrational during that whole period, so you'd best ignore them if they're upset. EXCUSE ME? PMS is a cultural phenomenon practically equivalent to the notorious 1800s hysteria in terms of symptoms - of which there are over 130!! Sexism anyone? There's a chapter on PMS that basically says women are irrational during that whole period, so you'd best ignore them if they're upset. EXCUSE ME? PMS is a cultural phenomenon practically equivalent to the notorious 1800s hysteria in terms of symptoms - of which there are over 130!! Sexism anyone?

  30. 4 out of 5

    Adrienne

    Quick read! Truly wonderful seeing a couple who can interact with such an easy communication style and be able to convey easy teachings of what truly matters with your mate and what does not. This book would be great for a couple to trade off each evening before bedtime. Tiny chapters and really makes you appreciate the differences in someone else.

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