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Texts from Jane Eyre: And Other Conversations with Your Favorite Literary Characters

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Hilariously imagined text conversations—the passive aggressive, the clever, and the strange—from classic and modern literary figures, from Scarlett O’Hara to Jessica Wakefield. Mallory Ortberg, the co-creator of the cult-favorite website The Toast, presents this whimsical collection of hysterical text conversations from your favorite literary characters. Everyone knows that Hilariously imagined text conversations—the passive aggressive, the clever, and the strange—from classic and modern literary figures, from Scarlett O’Hara to Jessica Wakefield. Mallory Ortberg, the co-creator of the cult-favorite website The Toast, presents this whimsical collection of hysterical text conversations from your favorite literary characters. Everyone knows that if Scarlett O’Hara had an unlimited text-and-data plan, she’d constantly try to tempt Ashley away from Melanie with suggestive messages. If Mr. Rochester could text Jane Eyre, his ardent missives would obviously be in all-caps. And Daisy Buchanan would not only text while driving, she’d text you to pick her up after she totaled her car. Based on the popular web-feature, Texts from Jane Eyre is a witty, irreverent mashup that brings the characters from your favorite books into the twenty-first century.


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Hilariously imagined text conversations—the passive aggressive, the clever, and the strange—from classic and modern literary figures, from Scarlett O’Hara to Jessica Wakefield. Mallory Ortberg, the co-creator of the cult-favorite website The Toast, presents this whimsical collection of hysterical text conversations from your favorite literary characters. Everyone knows that Hilariously imagined text conversations—the passive aggressive, the clever, and the strange—from classic and modern literary figures, from Scarlett O’Hara to Jessica Wakefield. Mallory Ortberg, the co-creator of the cult-favorite website The Toast, presents this whimsical collection of hysterical text conversations from your favorite literary characters. Everyone knows that if Scarlett O’Hara had an unlimited text-and-data plan, she’d constantly try to tempt Ashley away from Melanie with suggestive messages. If Mr. Rochester could text Jane Eyre, his ardent missives would obviously be in all-caps. And Daisy Buchanan would not only text while driving, she’d text you to pick her up after she totaled her car. Based on the popular web-feature, Texts from Jane Eyre is a witty, irreverent mashup that brings the characters from your favorite books into the twenty-first century.

30 review for Texts from Jane Eyre: And Other Conversations with Your Favorite Literary Characters

  1. 4 out of 5

    Roxane

    Fuck you this is hilarious.

  2. 4 out of 5

    karen

    this is the time of year i float reviews of fun books that would make nice presents. not for me, i already have them. i’m just being a kindly readers’ advisory holiday angel. so, it's probably more like a 3.5, but i'm in a good mood. two words of warning - 1) if you have the ARC of this, like i do, know that the formatting is frequently all kinds of jacked up, with missing words, text-bubbles on the wrong side of the conversation, attributed to the wrong character and etc etc. but you're a smart k this is the time of year i float reviews of fun books that would make nice presents. not for me, i already have them. i’m just being a kindly readers’ advisory holiday angel. so, it's probably more like a 3.5, but i'm in a good mood. two words of warning - 1) if you have the ARC of this, like i do, know that the formatting is frequently all kinds of jacked up, with missing words, text-bubbles on the wrong side of the conversation, attributed to the wrong character and etc etc. but you're a smart kid, you'll figure it out. 2) some of these are better than others. duh, right? but the byron one? i don't even understand what that one is all about. okay, i understand it, but i just think it's a little soft, and that's not just my byromania talking. okay, it kind of is, but it is just a little sad for me to see byron reduced to some emo kid, which is NOT how i see byron in my heart: uuuuuuugghhhh my life what is it? what’s wrong? uuuuuuuugh is there something specific that’s the matter? or anything I can do to help? uuuugh my liiiiife do you want me to come over? uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuughghghghhhhh and yet, despite it basically being the same joke, and despite my love for Hamlet being about as strong as my love for byron, it is WONDERFUL to see the continuing teen-trums of hamlet running throughout this book. the good thing about this is that you don't have to have read the source material to get the jokes; i haven't read Atlas Shrugged or any of the harry potter books, but again - we're smart kids - we can figure out what is being gently mocked. for example, i have also never read an american girl book in my life, but this made me laugh pretty hard: Harriet - Addy. Mother wanted me to ask you if you'd like to go to the fair tomorrow with us Did she now since we'll be working at the same booth together all afternoon Father's offered to give us a ride in his wagon oh, his milk wagon? yes his milk wagon He only has the one wagon you know that Like father like daughter I suppose  he only has one wagon  and you only have one dress You can just say no, Harriet if you don't want to come with us you can just say no Addy  do you even know how many dresses I have  I'm sorry if I insulted you you don't have to come Addy  I have seven dresses I have a dress for every day of the week  I have a dress for Monday  look I'll see you tomorrow I have a dress for Tuesday  on Wednesday I have a different dress  and on Thursday you have a fourth I get it do you though  I think I grasp the prinsiple of the thing oh my God  Addy Walker how DO you spell principle, Harriet? is it with an S? or a C? you are going to be so sorry that you ever -  Maybe we should ask a spelling expert Maybe we should ask someone who won that you EVER - a spelling medal for spelling the word principle correctly I only have the one dress so you can see the medal every day and yet, sometimes it's the attention to detail in books i am all-too-familiar with that make the joke even funnier. like this baby-sitter's club giggler: Hey Claudia I know math is really tough for you but even you should know that two dollars an hour for six hours means we’re at least twelve dollars short of what should be in the treasury i know how much twelve is, Kristy and i didn't take your stupid money look all I'm saying is that someone that good at hiding candy in her room probably has a few great places to hide twelve dollars like maybe in an incredibly ugly macrame wallet with velvet appliqués yeah well at least my dad still lives at home unlike some people’s dads unlike your dad  Kristy however, my favorite FAVORITE section was probably the one for The Outsiders, even though it's basically just repeating the same joke over and over. i don't care, though, because it is spot-fucking-on. warning - may contain spoilers for a 47-year-old children's book. 1 hey how do you pronounce “Soc” What? i mean is it like “sock” because it looks like that’s how you’d say it but in my head I think of it as being pronounced “soash” huh like rhymes with cloche I guess that makes sense why do I even know what a cloche is what kind of a gang is this what do you mean i mean i feel like we’re different from other gangs  different how i don’t know i guess we’re just a bunch of regular beautiful guys who like to read poetry and get in knife fights yeah yessir nothing like putting your hair in place stabbing a rich guy then talking about Robert Frost in an attic with another guy if that’s different, then i guess i’m different no you’re right 2 man you know who i hate who guys with green eyes  or i guess MOST guys with green eyes would you say my eyes are greenish-gray, or grayish-green  i don’t know your eyes are icy blue, so they’re always icy blue  but sometimes my eyes are more greenish-gray than grayish-green  which i think is better huh hey do you want to come over and watch the sunset yeah okay i guess so okay great i mean it’s the same sunset as the one at your house so don’t expect anything big i won’t i really think they’re more grayish-green right now than anything else yeah maybe not green like Darry’s anyhow they’re green like ice, but bluer than that I really need to update my eye color journal your what? see you soon for the sunset!!! 3 so what did you think 
 what did i think of what
 what did you think of all the drawings of Dally i sent you 
 oh yeah
 do you think he’ll like them?
do you think they’re any good 
there sure are 
a lot of them 
do you think i made his eyes look enough like blue ice
 that was really what i was going for 
because his eyes look like blazing blue ice 
i definitely think you did
 oh good 
i was kind of worried
 that they didn’t look enough like blue ice that’s blazing
 no, they’re–
you did a really good job
 they’re really nice
 well i wanted to do something special for his birthday
 and it was either this or a switchblade 
and i figured everyone else was already getting him a switchblade 
right
 what’s a guy gonna do with six switchblades, you know?
 yeah
 such a thing as too many switchblades 
anyhow i’m glad you think they’re good 
yeah
 you want one? 
oh 
i think i’m okay
 i can draw you one real fast 
it won’t take two minutes 
no i’m okay
 i’ll draw you one just in case
 his eyes look like blue ice
 blue ice! 4 you awake? 
 yeah
 what’s wrong?
 i had that dream again 
oh 
that dream where i got the haircut
 that was the worst day of my life, the day Johnny cut my hair
 remember?
 yeah i remember
 if a guy doesn’t have his silky reddish-blonde hair that’s just a little redder than Soda’s and swirls just right
 well what kind of a guy is he? 
i don’t know
 plus it was real sad when Johnny died, too
 yeah 
died before his hair could even grow back i remember his hair looked terrible when he died i was embarrassed to even go to the funeral yeah me too all of the above are available online: http://the-toast.net/category/textsfrom/ so i didn't feel bad reproducing them here, because there are still bazillions that are book-only and some that are site-only, so it all works out in the end. to save review-space, i am going to link to a couple of others i giggled at parts of, but not with as much as force as i did for The Outsiders. emily dickinson little women william blake and because i am a maniac, and this one isn't available online (that i could find), i am going to wear my typing fingers to the bone just so you can enjoy the Wuthering Heights texts i liked so much, and which reads like the most melodramatic pseudo-sexting ever. super hot. WARNING - MASSIVE, MASSIVE SPOILERS for a 167-year-old book god i love you cathy i love you too i love you so much god it hurts how much i love you i love you so much let's break each other's hearts oh my god let's i love you so much i'm going to marry edgar i love you so much i'm going to run away i love you so much i'm going to make myself sick good good that's so much love i love you so much i'm going to get sick again just out of spite i'll forget how to breathe i'll be your slave i'll pinch your heart and hand it back to you dead i'll lie down with my soul already in its grave i'll damn myself with your tears i love you so much i'll come back and marry your sister-in-law god yes and i'll bankroll your brother's alcoholism i always hoped you would uuuuuuugh i love you SO MUCH i'm going to write your name all over my books and then i'm going to have someone else's baby and then DIE yes cathy yes that's perfect i'm going to kidnap your daughter someday and i won't let your nephew learn to read because of how much i love you and scream at your grave and i'll rent your room out to some guy from London oh my god thank you thank you so much i'm going to love you so much i become a ghost i'm so glad to hear that i was hoping you'd say that but i'm never going to haunt you just that guy who's visiting from london that sounds perfect i'm so excited to hear him tell me about what your ghost looks like oh my god what are you going to scream at my grave oh man what aren't i going to scream at your grave i'll scream everything i'll scream your soul good good i'll scream about what a bitch you were i am so excited i am going to just ruin heaven with my screaming back at you that is so sweet of you to do that i'll just murder everyone's heart i hope your ghost drives me crazy :) i love you like how rocks love forests i totally know what you mean i love you like i love the inside of my own brain oh my god that's so much love i knooooow do you want to make out right now god no i want to wait until you're dead and then rip up the earth over your grave and crawl inside :) so, yeah, at the end of the day it's just a silly little humor book, but for people like us who are booky, it's one of the good ones. i will leave you with this: i have eaten the little red wheelbarrow that was in the icebox and upon which so much depended forgive me i don’t even know why i did that i guess i thought it was one of those little ice cream cakes you know the kind that they shape to look like cars or whatever that shit was disgusting hey do we have any ice cream cakes though -wcw come to my blog!

  3. 5 out of 5

    Heidi The Reader

    Though the premise was clever, Texts from Jane Eyre reads a lot like text message conversations in real life- shallow and repetitive after the first few lines. Also, there wasn't a synopsis included in these pages, so if you hadn't read a classic or, if you'd read it so long ago that you'd forgotten most of it, you were out of luck. The best of the lot was the Samuel Taylor Coleridge chapter that starts on pg 43 in which he's on a ramble about the golden palace of Kubla Khan and then a delivery g Though the premise was clever, Texts from Jane Eyre reads a lot like text message conversations in real life- shallow and repetitive after the first few lines. Also, there wasn't a synopsis included in these pages, so if you hadn't read a classic or, if you'd read it so long ago that you'd forgotten most of it, you were out of luck. The best of the lot was the Samuel Taylor Coleridge chapter that starts on pg 43 in which he's on a ramble about the golden palace of Kubla Khan and then a delivery guy comes to the door and ruins his flow. The worst was the Harry Potter chapter in which Ron and Hermione have a 'conversation' but Ron is written as a complete moron and she is confounded by his idiocy. Very mediocre and unworthy of either of those characters. If you feel the need to read this one, check it out from the library. A related read if you enjoyed it: When Parents Text: So Much Said...So Little Understood

  4. 5 out of 5

    Alex

    READ MALLORY ORTBERG'S BOOK who MALLORY ORTBERG yeah who is that MALLORY ORTBERG PERFECT AMAZON TRAIN GODDESS that doesnt answer my question perfect amazon train goddess is not actually a thing IT IS A THING no IT IS A THING BECAUSE I SAY IT IS A THING IT IS A THING BECAUSE IT IS A THING your logic is unsound YOUR FACE IS UNSOUND ... I'M SORRY I'M JUST EXCITED YOUR FACE IS SOUND A VERY SOUND FACE THE SOUNDEST FACE I KNOW you still havent told me who she is SHE IS MALLORY ORTBERG jesus fuck okay lets try something e READ MALLORY ORTBERG'S BOOK who MALLORY ORTBERG yeah who is that MALLORY ORTBERG PERFECT AMAZON TRAIN GODDESS that doesnt answer my question perfect amazon train goddess is not actually a thing IT IS A THING no IT IS A THING BECAUSE I SAY IT IS A THING IT IS A THING BECAUSE IT IS A THING your logic is unsound YOUR FACE IS UNSOUND ... I'M SORRY I'M JUST EXCITED YOUR FACE IS SOUND A VERY SOUND FACE THE SOUNDEST FACE I KNOW you still havent told me who she is SHE IS MALLORY ORTBERG jesus fuck okay lets try something else whats the book about PERFECTION thats not... THE MODERN AGE LOVE LOSS THE BREADTH OF HUMAN EXISTENCE wow mallory ortberg covered a lot YES SHE DID whats it actually about I JUST TOLD YOU more specifically LITERARY CHARACTERS TEXTING EACH OTHER that wasnt so hard was it STOP TRYING TO PUT LABELS ON EVERYTHING I DON'T NEED THAT IN MY LIFE YOU'RE TYING ME DOWN omg is she a cult leader??????? GOODBYE

  5. 4 out of 5

    Tiff at Mostly YA Lit

    I'm calling it now: This book is your go-to Christmas or birthday present for anyone bookish. It's the kind of book that I would probably never buy for myself - but I would definitely grab it for a literature-obsessed friend....and I would be delighted if someone got it for me. The concept is simple - what if your favourite literary characters had cell phones and were able to text each other? What would they say? Would they use emoji? (Answer: YES). As you can probably tell, this book is chock ful I'm calling it now: This book is your go-to Christmas or birthday present for anyone bookish. It's the kind of book that I would probably never buy for myself - but I would definitely grab it for a literature-obsessed friend....and I would be delighted if someone got it for me. The concept is simple - what if your favourite literary characters had cell phones and were able to text each other? What would they say? Would they use emoji? (Answer: YES). As you can probably tell, this book is chock full of inside jokes. Most of the books that Ortberg turns into text form are classics - you'll see everything from Odysseus to Pride & Prejudice to The Great Gatsby here. But there are also a few newer adult and YA books, like The Hunger Games, where Ortberg has spun into a hilarious story of Peeta and his obsession with baking (note: the illustrations in this book are great and I'm pretty sure that the final version will be much prettier than my ARC!) This is just a small sample of the HG section - it's SO good.  Ortberg has clearly read a lot more classics than I have, so there were definitely some "chapters" that I skimmed through simply because I didn't know the book. But for the books, authors and poets that I have read and loved, she pretty much hits the nail on the head and had me rolling on the floor. I definitely snorted out loud a few times, because of COURSE Catherine and Heathcliff would be texting overwhelmingly scary "I love yous" to each other.   Of COURSE John Keats would be obsessing over the prettiness of an urn. =P And of course, Frank Churchill would be texting Emma about how much he doesn't like reserved people. There are a ton more books that have been "textified" - some of which are REALLY fun (Babysitters Club, anyone?). The Final Word: The best way to experience Texts From Jane Eyre is to read it a text conversation at a time - it's not one where you'll sit on your couch and read straight through (well, you might. I did!) - instead, it's the kind of book you'll leave on your coffee table and leaf through when you need a quick laugh, and pull out for your other literary-minded friends at a party so that you can giggle out loud together. Review originally posted at Mostly YA Lit

  6. 5 out of 5

    Jessica

    I'm laughing so hard right now. Ortberg has managed to capture the essence of dozens, DOZENS of works of literature and authors in a few choice texts. Everything from Jane Eyre to Fight Club can be found here. The Babysitters' Club. Medea. William Blake texting his wife is freaking hysterical. "I already have so many watercolors of flayings." Absolutely hilarious, and a must-read for anyone who considers themselves well-read! Reread 2020: Needed a laugh, stole my sister's copy. Laughs provided. I I'm laughing so hard right now. Ortberg has managed to capture the essence of dozens, DOZENS of works of literature and authors in a few choice texts. Everything from Jane Eyre to Fight Club can be found here. The Babysitters' Club. Medea. William Blake texting his wife is freaking hysterical. "I already have so many watercolors of flayings." Absolutely hilarious, and a must-read for anyone who considers themselves well-read! Reread 2020: Needed a laugh, stole my sister's copy. Laughs provided. I completely forgot about the Lorax hiding in a girl's purse to warn her about tampons not being eco-friendly!

  7. 4 out of 5

    Ashley

    If you’re ever having a bad day, you could do worse than self-medicating with maybe a hot bath or some hot cocoa or ice cream or soft pajamas or episodes of Gilmore Girls, but maybe also think about adding Texts From Jane Eyre in there as well. There were parts of this book that made me laugh until tears squeezed out of my eyeholes. There were also other parts, mostly to do with classics and mythology, that made me glad I have my friendly Google machine at my disposal. (I’m still not quite sure I If you’re ever having a bad day, you could do worse than self-medicating with maybe a hot bath or some hot cocoa or ice cream or soft pajamas or episodes of Gilmore Girls, but maybe also think about adding Texts From Jane Eyre in there as well. There were parts of this book that made me laugh until tears squeezed out of my eyeholes. There were also other parts, mostly to do with classics and mythology, that made me glad I have my friendly Google machine at my disposal. (I’m still not quite sure I understand the Dido joke.) For those of you who somehow don’t know of her, Mallory Ortberg is the editor of The Toast, and her “Texts From” series is what inspired this book. There are some classic ones from the website in the book, but there is also quite a bit of new material as well, so it’s definitely worth checking out. I also think it’s worth owning a copy just so you can have all this wonderfulness collected together in one place, which is especially handy for aforementioned self-medicating. Probably my favorite part about this book, aside from the mangled but affectionate way Ortberg translates these characters into text form, is how delightfully eclectic the assortment of characters and stories she’s put together are. We’ve got texts from Dido and Medea and Hamlet and John Keats and Sherlock Holmes right alongside texts from Ron and Hermione, the Babysitters Club and the Hunger Games. Some of the characters get recurring chapters because they just have so much to say (of course Hamlet is one of these, as is a surprisingly hilarious Daisy Miller, which in hindsight I shouldn’t be surprised about because Henry James is THE WORST and of course Ortberg would have a field day with him). I suppose this book wouldn’t play as well for people who aren’t at least marginally well-read, especially the more esoteric references (the one about John Keats being obsessed with the urn OH MY GOD). But even the ones I didn’t know very well, like Medea for example, were still hilarious because Ortberg makes jokes that are funny even if you don’t necessarily get what she’s referencing. And now I will close this review by quoting an obscene amount of chapters. Hopefully this still constitutes Fair Use. Sherlock Holmes: there’s only one thing we’re missing only one thing we need that will help us solve this case we need to question Lady Emily again no, Watson oh it’s not . . . COCAINE, WATSON ah we’re going to need loads of cocaine SCADS of it — JOHN JOHN DID YOU KNOW THEY MAKE COCAINE THAT YOU CAN SMOKE good god Sherlock where have you been you can just smoke it it’s incredible tell me where you are and I’ll come get you they call it crack and it’s marvelous just tell me where you are and I’ll come get you I’M NEVER LEAVING do you have any idea how much cocaine they have here I imagine quite a lot QUITE A LOT you can bring me my violin if you want and my hat do you want anything else? no just the violin and my hat and a big old mess of cocaine that’s all I need what about the mystery hang all mysteries the only mystery I want to solve is how much cocaine I can fit in my face they mystery of how much face cocaine I can have that’s the mystery for me Lord Byron: I wrote a poem today do you want to hear it okay Near this Spot are deposited the Remains of one who possessed Beauty without Vanity, Strength without Insolence, Courage without Ferosity, and all the virtues of Man without his Vices. This praise, which would be unmeaning Flattery if inscribed over human Ashes, is but a just tributeto the memory of BOATSWAIN, a DOG, who was born in Newfoundland May 1803 and died at Newstead Nov. 18, 1808. hey totally unrelated do you remember how many children i have? i’m trying to do a tax thing right now and i have nooooo idea haha like it’s for sure SOME no sorry fuck i gotta write some letters uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuughhhhh Jane Eyre: JANE MY LITTLE SUNBEAM WHERE ARE YOU I NEED YOU BY MY SIDE I’m taking a walk be back for dinner AH YES MY CAGED SPRITE COMMUNE WITH NATURE AND UPON YOUR RETURN RELATE TO ME THE VAGRANT GLORIES OF THE RUINED WOODS do you really want me to describe my walk to you MORE THAN ANYTHING YOU POCKET WITCH it is fairly cloudy out looks like rain soon AHHH TO THINK THAT MY LITTLE STARLING JANE SHOULD RETURN TO PERCH ON MY BROKEN MALFORMED SHOULDER SINGING A SONG OF THE GREY AND WRACKING SKIES MAKES MY HEART SWELL TO BURST all right — JANE WHERE HAVE YOU GONE I AM BEREFT AND WITHOUT MY JANE I SHALL SINK INTO ROGUERY i am with my cousins WHICH COUSIN IS IT THE SEXY ONE Please don’t try to talk to me again IT IS YOUR SEXY COUSIN “ST. JOHN” WHAT KIND OF A NAME IS ST. JOHN I’m not going to answer that I KNEW IT DID YOU LEAVE BECAUSE OF MY ATTIC WIFE IS THAT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT yes absolutely BECAUSE MY HOUSE IN FRANCE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE AN ATTIC IF THAT’S WHAT YOU WERE WORRIED ABOUT IT HAS A CELLAR THOUGH SO YOU KNOW DON’T CROSS ME HAHA I’M ONLY JOKING

  8. 5 out of 5

    David

    If anything it only serves to remind me how much of the classics I've yet to read. And while I can delight in those that I have, feeling smug in my recognition of phrases from J. Alfred Prufrock (the yellow smoke!) and my beloved Jane Eyre - I'm left adrift with Dickens, Cormac McCarthy and Henry James. And yes, The Hunger Grains would be the perfect name for Peeta's bakery. So while a lot of the time it feels like i'm laughing along just based on context cues (Marius just seems like he's the wo If anything it only serves to remind me how much of the classics I've yet to read. And while I can delight in those that I have, feeling smug in my recognition of phrases from J. Alfred Prufrock (the yellow smoke!) and my beloved Jane Eyre - I'm left adrift with Dickens, Cormac McCarthy and Henry James. And yes, The Hunger Grains would be the perfect name for Peeta's bakery. So while a lot of the time it feels like i'm laughing along just based on context cues (Marius just seems like he's the worst) I'm too often lost and feeling shame over my clearly squandered English degree which was supposed to prepare me for books like this! Point removed for making me face my own literary inadequacies - I should totally know what the hell Coleridge is going on about!

  9. 4 out of 5

    Sara

    This...wasn't that funny. I admit I giggled a bit when Emily Dickinson madly texts her sister(?) from the yard yelling that everyone is snakes and its kind of stupid funny when Hamlet texts his mother about not putting "crunchy stuff" in his tuna fish sandwich but its also kinda pointless. I'm just not really sure what the take home is here. While funny for the first ten or so pages eventually all these "characters" sound like the same pretentious hipster you're stuck talking to at a college part This...wasn't that funny. I admit I giggled a bit when Emily Dickinson madly texts her sister(?) from the yard yelling that everyone is snakes and its kind of stupid funny when Hamlet texts his mother about not putting "crunchy stuff" in his tuna fish sandwich but its also kinda pointless. I'm just not really sure what the take home is here. While funny for the first ten or so pages eventually all these "characters" sound like the same pretentious hipster you're stuck talking to at a college party who's "so over" all those modern authors and wants to talk about, you know, real literature, cause that's like, totally about reality man. Like those guys knew how to write about, like, life. And stuff. Hey you wanna check out my Vegan friendly loafers man? I can't even tell if Ortberg has read half of what she's making fun of because she certainly doesn't seem to actually understand Hamlet or Medea or even the frickin' Babysitters Club which is in here for some reason. None of its especially funny its just one character snarking at another one for a couple of pages and then its on to the next book or movie or whatever. Absolutely everyone sounds exactly the same there isn't even an attempt to define differences in individual characters and I get that that's probably kind of the point because its texting but again not very funny or engaging for 100+ pages. Yes ha ha ha Hamlet's really whiny and Ron Weasley doesn't know what credit cards are because he's a wizard, hardy har har. The only thing Ortberg really manages here is to make me relieved I don't have to talk about literature with her. This isn't funny or terribly original. Frankly its mean and pretentious as hell.

  10. 4 out of 5

    Moonkiszt

    Within the first few minutes I busted out laughing, and I've gotta say that it continued that way to the very end. Reimagined texts from literary characters to their co-characters were dazzling, and hilarious!!!!! If you are moderately widely read, you'll get them all. Even if you aren't they'd be amusing, but having read the book from whence the characters spring will boost your laughter higher - and seriously some of it is so funny! 4 stars. Funny enough for 5, but it's under a 2 hour listen. D Within the first few minutes I busted out laughing, and I've gotta say that it continued that way to the very end. Reimagined texts from literary characters to their co-characters were dazzling, and hilarious!!!!! If you are moderately widely read, you'll get them all. Even if you aren't they'd be amusing, but having read the book from whence the characters spring will boost your laughter higher - and seriously some of it is so funny! 4 stars. Funny enough for 5, but it's under a 2 hour listen. Do yourself a favor - find the audio copy and enjoy yourself - laughter is great medicine any day of the week, but this particular Wednesday I found some driving tasks that could help me get this one done in one (day).

  11. 4 out of 5

    Diane Barnes

    These are funny, until they're not. Probably should be read sporadically, one or two at a time. Gets boring very quickly. These are funny, until they're not. Probably should be read sporadically, one or two at a time. Gets boring very quickly.

  12. 5 out of 5

    Ron Charles

    If your kids are ignoring your messages, you can take some comfort in Mallory Ortberg’s LOL parody, “Texts from Jane Eyre” (Henry Holt, $23). In these pages, Ortberg offers us cellphone conversations with Plato, Harry Potter, Emily Dickinson and others. Each dialogue is catnip for English majors, and many of them are FOTFL. Imagine receiving a prank text from Ahab, or trying to get Nancy Drew’s attention when she’s on a case. In the spirit of these witty dialogues, I interviewed Ortberg about her If your kids are ignoring your messages, you can take some comfort in Mallory Ortberg’s LOL parody, “Texts from Jane Eyre” (Henry Holt, $23). In these pages, Ortberg offers us cellphone conversations with Plato, Harry Potter, Emily Dickinson and others. Each dialogue is catnip for English majors, and many of them are FOTFL. Imagine receiving a prank text from Ahab, or trying to get Nancy Drew’s attention when she’s on a case. In the spirit of these witty dialogues, I interviewed Ortberg about her new book — by text, of course. To read our texts "interview," go to The Washington Post: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/s...

  13. 5 out of 5

    Mike

    Texts from Jane Eyre takes a nice poke at some of literature's greatest characters and works, re-imagining them in a world with texting. Ortberg does a lovely and loving job magnifying the flaws of great literary characters through this medium. Here are some of my favorites: Medea: Medea: anyhow so to SHOW YOU how soft my feelings are I got you guys a wedding present!!!... Glauce [Jason's new bride]: oh! you must mean the box that came on Thursday Medea: yessssss I TOTALLY MEAN THAT Glauce: it's a dre Texts from Jane Eyre takes a nice poke at some of literature's greatest characters and works, re-imagining them in a world with texting. Ortberg does a lovely and loving job magnifying the flaws of great literary characters through this medium. Here are some of my favorites: Medea: Medea: anyhow so to SHOW YOU how soft my feelings are I got you guys a wedding present!!!... Glauce [Jason's new bride]: oh! you must mean the box that came on Thursday Medea: yessssss I TOTALLY MEAN THAT Glauce: it's a dress Medea: It's a wedding dress Glauce: thank you I mean, I already have a wedding dress picked out but this is very sweet Medea: do you know what you should do though you should put it on you should put it on your skin and wear it for just a minute (be sure to put it on your skin) :-):-):-) ~~ Medea: I sent you guys something Glauce: I don't think we have anything Medea: look outside Glauce: it's another box Medea: THE BOX IS FROM ME (are you surprised) Glauce: a little bit how did you know where we live Medea: i mean how does anyone know anything right you should open the box right now Glauce: it's a cake Medea: for your wedding! so just go ahead and eat some right now to make sure that it's normal and good for the wedding and tell me if you like it!! Glauce: Medea Medea: are you eating it how does it taste Glauce: Medea I'm not eating this cake Medea: oh sorry can you not eat processed flour i should have asked do you have allergies Glauce: Medea I'm not going to try on the dress or eat this cake Medea: why not??? Glauce: you know why they're both full of poison Medea: whaaaat Glauce: the cake is black and the icing ate through the box Medea: how would poison even get in there Glauce: the dress caught on fire that's how much poison was on it Medea: well i'm going to i'm going to have a very stern talk with that seamstress ill get you another present to make up for it Glauce: please don't ~~~ Rudyard Kipling Rudyard Kipling: I'm bored Let's shoot something Friend: okay What Rudyard Kipling: i don't care a tiger or a Boer Friend: what was that last one? Rudyard Kipling: I mean a bear Friend: oh OK Rudyard Kipling: haha must have been a weird typo it's illegal to hunt men but exhilarating Friend: what? Rudyard Kipling:I said it was illegal and also execrable execrable was the second word I said ~~~ Les Misérables Enjolras: where are you? Marius: I am so there this barricade is going to be an absolute HAPPENING you guys don't start without me I am on my way in like five minutes Enjolras: Marius I'm concerned that you don't really understand the reason for our movement MArius: oh my god what do you mean Enjolras: I sometimes question your commitment to the cause Marius: how could you possibly even question that Enjolras: I don't know Marius maybe it's because you have missed every one of our clashes with the police because you were still studying for the bar Marius: to bring down the system from within! Enjolras: Marius your father is a baron He's an actual baron Marius: well only a Napoleonic baron Enjolras: That's still a baron Marius: well when you say it like that ~~~ The Sun Also Rises Jake: Brett Brett did you get that picture I sent you Brett: I did, yeah Jake: the picture of my penis I mean Brett: yes Jake: Brett guess how much of my penis I still have left you know after my accident after my penis accident Brett: I don't really want to play this game, Jake Jake: come on, guess Brett: I don't have unlimited texting these messages are kind of expensive for me Jake: I'll give you a hint it's definitely SOME ~~~ Sherlock Holmes Holmes: this is quite a puzzle, Watson Watson: damned right, Holmes hell of a puzzle what I want to know is how did the vicar know the archbishop's Pekingese had developed an immunity to snake bites? Holmes: there's only one thing we're missing only one thing we need that will help us solve this case Watson: we need to question Lady Emily again Holmes: no, Watson Watson: oh it's not ... Holmes: COCAINE, WATSON Watson: ah Holmes: we're going to need loads of cocaine SCADS of it ~~~ As you can see no cow is sacred and there is more than a little truth in these portrayals (especially Marius, man do I loathe that guy). I will say that, even though I am somewhat well read, there were many references that went right over my head. Overall though, this was a brisk and entertaining read. I would certainly checkout a sequel if one was written and if you are familiar with the classics you will also enjoy the heck out of this book.

  14. 4 out of 5

    Punk

    Literary Humor. What if Plato had a cell phone? Or: Finally, a use for my English degree. I love Ortberg's sense of humor. One of the best things I've read this year was a line from his Toast piece How To Tell If You Are In A Thomas Hardy Novel : "You saw a tractor once, and hated it." I've never read even a single Thomas Hardy novel, and that line is still hilarious to me. It's the comma, really. I imagine if I were familiar with Hardy, the joke would be even funnier. And so it is with this bo Literary Humor. What if Plato had a cell phone? Or: Finally, a use for my English degree. I love Ortberg's sense of humor. One of the best things I've read this year was a line from his Toast piece How To Tell If You Are In A Thomas Hardy Novel : "You saw a tractor once, and hated it." I've never read even a single Thomas Hardy novel, and that line is still hilarious to me. It's the comma, really. I imagine if I were familiar with Hardy, the joke would be even funnier. And so it is with this book. The things I recognized were hilarious. Poe and his inability to leave the house because a bird is staring at him with its "fired up eyebirds." Emily Dickinson with her m-dashes. Circe saying Odysseus's men were turn-into-pigsable. Rochester with his grandiose ALL CAPS texts to Jane asking DID YOU LEAVE BECAUSE OF MY ATTIC WIFE—no question mark, because internet comedy scientists have determined that questions without question marks are, on average, 300% funnier. I especially liked Ortberg's interpretation of the Romantic poets as floppy and useless and forever babbling on about clouds. Shut it, Wordsworth. You too, Byron. The Romantics weren't my jam, but in Ortberg's hands they're hilarious. Check out his treatment of Keats: oh my god oh my god do you know what I LOVE like what I am just crazy about       is it this urn THIS URN Yeah, it's just that good. It pretty much makes up for every time I was forced to consider that goddamned urn. And if you don't know what urn I'm talking about, this book is going to have some dead spots for you. It mystified me in parts. Like, I've never seen or read Gone With the Wind and so was only able to enjoy those sections on a superficial level. The stuff that was less familiar to me was still funny, mostly, but I was often scrambling to figure out who the characters were, who they were talking to, what they were talking about, and...well, Ortberg has great comic timing and I enjoy the way he writes, but at some point, not knowing who these people are is a considerable obstacle, but each section is short, like five pages at the most, so if you don't know what the fuck's going on, it's over quickly. The book is broken into four parts, with the sources arranged from oldest to newest. I want to say I found the earlier sections to be better executed than the modern ones, but even as I flip back through the last section, I'm remembering that Rebecca and The Lorax were great, and William Carlos Williams would have rocked at text messages, and Fight Club totally worked for me even though everything I know about Fight Club I picked up from cultural osmosis. In many cases, cultural osmosis is all you need to have a basic understanding of each piece, but a background in literature, poetry, philosophy, and/or The Babysitter's Club will enhance your enjoyment and really give the dick jokes in The Sun Also Rises extra depth. Four stars. Very readable, and re-readable, with some delightful illustrations by Madeline Gobbo.

  15. 5 out of 5

    K.

    The section from Wuthering Heights is simply perfect. c: oh my god what are you going to scream at my grave h: oh man what aren't i going to scream at your grave i'll scream everything i'll scream at your soul c: good good h: i'll scream about what a bitch you were c: i am so excited i am going to just ruin heaven with my screaming back at you h: that is so sweet of you to do that c: i'll just murder everyone's heart The section from Wuthering Heights is simply perfect. c: oh my god what are you going to scream at my grave h: oh man what aren't i going to scream at your grave i'll scream everything i'll scream at your soul c: good good h: i'll scream about what a bitch you were c: i am so excited i am going to just ruin heaven with my screaming back at you h: that is so sweet of you to do that c: i'll just murder everyone's heart

  16. 4 out of 5

    Kalena

    Thought this was an interesting idea and there were a couple I thought were quite humorous. However, the language and some of the interpretations were more crude than witty. And as Maggie Smith says, “Vulgarity is no substitute for wit.”

  17. 5 out of 5

    Bonnie

    Texts From Jane Eyre: the re-imagined conversations between literary characters if they all carried a smartphone. Sounds hilarious, but I admittedly didn’t have much interest in this initially because I feared far too much of this would go right over my head considering I’m quite ignorant of the vast majority of “classics”. I listened to a 60 second clip of this audiobook though and I was already cracking up so I decided to give this one a shot regardless. Texts From Jane Eyre goes beyond just J Texts From Jane Eyre: the re-imagined conversations between literary characters if they all carried a smartphone. Sounds hilarious, but I admittedly didn’t have much interest in this initially because I feared far too much of this would go right over my head considering I’m quite ignorant of the vast majority of “classics”. I listened to a 60 second clip of this audiobook though and I was already cracking up so I decided to give this one a shot regardless. Texts From Jane Eyre goes beyond just Jane Eyre, portraying the likes of Odysseys and Circe, Edgar Allan Poe, Peter Pan, Harry Potter, and even the broody Achilles who contemplates the possibility of going home and being a farmer. As I mentioned, the majority of these stories did in fact go right over my head because like hell I’m attempting to read Atlas Shrugged. Or Moby Dick for that matter. I haven’t given up hope that I may actually conquer Gone with the Wind though. Despite my occasional confusion, the combined narration of Amy Landon and Zach Villa still managed to make this a vastly entertaining couple of hours (the audiobook is a mere 2h 22m long). The various different accents they implemented made this feel at times like a full cast narration. I downloaded the eBook as well in order to capture screen shots and I must say that while the passages were funny, having this read to you was an altogether different (and better) experience. A brief visit to sparknotes.com to get the gist of the classics did prove to be helpful if you wish to take the time to become quickly acquainted with the lesser known characters. As for the ones I did know that required no introduction, such as Sherlock, they were so hilariously and accurately depicted that I found myself rewinding and re-listening because I was often laughing too hard to hear the whole passage. Face cocaine. lol Other favorites were Ron telling Hermione about the magic “credit cards” he signed up for (Harry Potter), Peeta’s frosting emergency (Hunger Games), and the hilarious harassment via texting from Mrs. Danvers (Rebecca). Suffice it to say, I thoroughly enjoyed this one and highly recommend the audio edition (listen to a clip here!). Mallory Ortberg successfully added a modern flair and humor to literature’s most treasured characters, bringing them to life once again and reminding us what made them memorable in the first place.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Ashley Marie

    OH.MY.GAWD. Poe, Sherlock, Les Miserables, BSC and WCW cracked me UP! I literally couldn't breathe for a minute and was sitting here making wheeze noises. It got weird looks from 1 man + 2 cats. I feel accomplished. But I need to read more of the classics! I didn't skip any of these but there are so many where I don't know the story that I didn't quite get the jokes all the way, you know? So I shall return to this at a later date, and probably with a full oxygen tank. OH.MY.GAWD. Poe, Sherlock, Les Miserables, BSC and WCW cracked me UP! I literally couldn't breathe for a minute and was sitting here making wheeze noises. It got weird looks from 1 man + 2 cats. I feel accomplished. But I need to read more of the classics! I didn't skip any of these but there are so many where I don't know the story that I didn't quite get the jokes all the way, you know? So I shall return to this at a later date, and probably with a full oxygen tank.

  19. 5 out of 5

    Audra (Unabridged Chick)

    Here's my one sentence review: this book is so hilarious, it's coming with me to the delivery room for when I need a laugh. (My midwife says laughing helps relieve pain and anxiety). This deliciously irreverent volume re-imagines classic and favorite books, poems, and authors from Western literature and recasts them as a series of text messages. Featuring over sixty pieces, each just a few pages long, characters and story arcs are distilled into snarky, silly, and sublime extremes: Rochester is a Here's my one sentence review: this book is so hilarious, it's coming with me to the delivery room for when I need a laugh. (My midwife says laughing helps relieve pain and anxiety). This deliciously irreverent volume re-imagines classic and favorite books, poems, and authors from Western literature and recasts them as a series of text messages. Featuring over sixty pieces, each just a few pages long, characters and story arcs are distilled into snarky, silly, and sublime extremes: Rochester is a passionate suitor who texts in all caps; Ned Nickerson keeps harassing Nancy Drew while she works on her investigations; Byron and Hamlet are laughably pathetic while Circe and Scarlett O'Hara are delusional divas. Although I'm familiar with many (but not all) of the works featured, I found everything laugh-out-loud funny. My wife and I took turns reading this aloud to each other, but had to quit because we literally couldn't breathe at certain points, and I do truly intend to bring this into the delivery room with me because I can't not read Henry David Thoreau without dissolving into hysterics every time. Ortberg takes what is absurd about our favorite characters and authors and emphasizes it in ways I think many readers already have. The inspiration for this book came from a piece on The Hairpin, when someone commented that her small town life was like Gone With the Wind but with cell phones. The format works because we all know people (or have read transcripts) of text messages so self-absorbed and so ludicrous, one can't help but laugh. Fans of humor sites like Damn You Auto Correct! and The Toast will love this, as well as lit fans who don't mind their beloved classics being played with. This is a fun volume to have on hand for dinner parties or on the nightstand -- it's easy to dip into and is delicious, nerdy fun.

  20. 4 out of 5

    reading is my hustle

    Am I that easy? I don't even care. The Outsiders texts? i die. Meet the American Girls: Meet Samantha/Meet Molly/Meet Addy/Meet Kirsten/Meet Felicity/Boxed Set texts? i can't even. Emily Dickinson texts? i think i might have giggled and/or tittered. And, the Atlas Shrugged texts? i effin' cackled. then followed that up with a horselaugh. So fun. Thanks for the shits and giggles, Mallory Ortberg. I love your work on The Toast. Am I that easy? I don't even care. The Outsiders texts? i die. Meet the American Girls: Meet Samantha/Meet Molly/Meet Addy/Meet Kirsten/Meet Felicity/Boxed Set texts? i can't even. Emily Dickinson texts? i think i might have giggled and/or tittered. And, the Atlas Shrugged texts? i effin' cackled. then followed that up with a horselaugh. So fun. Thanks for the shits and giggles, Mallory Ortberg. I love your work on The Toast.

  21. 5 out of 5

    K.

    4.5 stars. HILARIOUS. It's exactly what it sounds like - various classic stories (ranging from Medea to Harry Potter and everything in between) retold in text messages. I laughed out loud numerous times. I think the Medea and the Jane Eyre ones were my favourites, but they were all pretty wonderful. (Although I will admit that I skim read the handful that I didn't know of) A really quick and easy read, and a fabulous way to start my reading for 2017! 4.5 stars. HILARIOUS. It's exactly what it sounds like - various classic stories (ranging from Medea to Harry Potter and everything in between) retold in text messages. I laughed out loud numerous times. I think the Medea and the Jane Eyre ones were my favourites, but they were all pretty wonderful. (Although I will admit that I skim read the handful that I didn't know of) A really quick and easy read, and a fabulous way to start my reading for 2017!

  22. 5 out of 5

    Kaethe Douglas

    Ortberg is genius. Her text conversations as distillations of famous works of literature are brilliant, especially of classics which don't have a clear plot line. Not that The Hunger Games isn't mighty amusing as well. Not recommended for anyone who isn't at least passing familiar with the books being parodied, because they're just not very funny if you don't get it. Library copy Ortberg is genius. Her text conversations as distillations of famous works of literature are brilliant, especially of classics which don't have a clear plot line. Not that The Hunger Games isn't mighty amusing as well. Not recommended for anyone who isn't at least passing familiar with the books being parodied, because they're just not very funny if you don't get it. Library copy

  23. 4 out of 5

    Susana

    Now this was a laugh out loud, insane as you can get, _and also educational! _ combination of hilarious dialogues between characters of some literary famous masterpieces....and other literary oddities! ;) For instance, we have some dialogues between Medea and Glauce (Jason's second wife...or better yet, second wife of his harem..since he was still married. The bastard!): you probably already have a million plans, it’s your wedding it was just my favorite part of my wedding (except for the par Now this was a laugh out loud, insane as you can get, _and also educational! _ combination of hilarious dialogues between characters of some literary famous masterpieces....and other literary oddities! ;) For instance, we have some dialogues between Medea and Glauce (Jason's second wife...or better yet, second wife of his harem..since he was still married. The bastard!): you probably already have a million plans, it’s your wedding it was just my favorite part of my wedding (except for the part where I married Jason!!!) (he is so fun to be married to) (tell him I say hi!!!) sorry who is this So I know we got off on the wrong foot it’s Medea!! save my number okay ***************************************************************** Then there's an almost impossible to refuse wedding proposal! (Gilgamesh is his name, and he has some slight doubts about...Ishtar proposal.) how about all your other boyfriends still horribly dead or turned into wolves? you know what never mind i’m just super curious since you’ve murdered exactly all of them if maybe you were planning on doing that to me too i hope you get eaten by dogs there it is ****************************** Then there's Aquilles story...he's a little depressed. Poor guy..also, he could use a dictionary. ******************************************************************* Talking to one's family is sometimes hard, and Plato knows all about that. Turns out his brother isn't the sharpest tool in the shed... ************************************************ Circe and Odysseus discuss the probability of going out for dinner, but I am afraid things don't look good: Circe I’m not coming over for dinner whyyyyy ********************************************************************* King Lear and his daughters also make an appearance, as does William Blake. ************************************************************ John Donne continues to use the same old pick up line. You know, the one with the flea? don’t get mad at me get mad at the flea for making me have sex with so many people **************************************************************** Hamlet...OH MY GOD, HAMLET IS THE CUTEST THING EVER! Except if you're his mother.. Or his uncle!! It sucks to be his uncle... let me just come in for five minutes so I can vacuum for you I promise I won’t get in the way of your project DON’T COME IN MY ROOM okay okay I won’t I’m sorry honey Hamlet? honey? ***************************************************************** Then we find out why is not advisable to leave Don Quixote all alone in a kitchen o_O I WILL SLAY THEM ALL please do not stab my tea kettle ****************************************************************** Then there's Mr. Rochester and Jane Eyre JANE JANE I BOUGHT YOU A DRESS MADE OF TEN THOUSAND PEARLS AS A BRIDAL PRESENT where on earth would I wear that YOU COULD WEAR IT ON THE MOON that seems impractical how would i even breathe on the moon? I WOULD BREATHE FOR YOU MY JANE JANE WHERE HAVE YOU GONE (..) ************************************************************ There's Sherlock Holmes and Watson dialogues.... Emily Dickinson as well..she really liked her White shawl. *************************************************** Oliver Twist, and his politeness in face of his hard life. Lord Byron and his: Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, my life! **************************************************** John Keats who apparently was crazy about URNS. ************************************************************** I am afraid Jane Fairfax still isn't Emma's favourite person: One new voicemail from Jane Fairfax Press 7 to save your message Press 8 to delete your message 88888888888888888 Command not recognized 8 ______________________________________*********_____________________________ Mrs Bennett discusses her future with her daughters...at least with the ones she remembers having... ____________________________________******______________________________ Guess who this is! yes, it is your favourite obsessive southern belle! ashley ashley ashley r u there ashleyyyyyyyy (im DRUNK (from brandy)) remember that time we made out in the barn _______________________________*********____________________________ Then there's Nancy Drew and her juggling semantics: N: do you think you could come get me? are you tied up again? N: i’m just over at the cave by the old mill so you’re tied up N: in a cave you know near the burned-down orphanage please just answer the question N: you should probably bring some scissors with you for the rope? N: there appears to be some rope here, yes ****************************************************************************** We come to realize that the Lorax cares for other things other than trees..like, you know, tampons: TAMPONS CAN’T EVER TALK THEY DON’T HAVE MOUTHS THAT’S WHY I SPEAK FOR THEM okay ****************************************************************************** Rebecca oh my God that is your SALAD fork this is the fish course what is wrong with you ****************************************************************************** The Hunger Games And Peeta's priority's.... ************************************************************************** Harry Potter So...how did Hermione end up with Ron again? o_O No No, honey, credit cards aren’t magic And many, many others...the Wuthering Heights dialogues are particularity good! ;) god i love you cathy i love you too i love you so much god it hurts how much i love you i love you so much let’s break each other’s hearts oh my god let’s i love you so much i’m going to marry edgar ****************************************************************************** And you know what's the wonderful thing about this book? The fact that even if you are not familiar with some of its characters, or with what is being discussed, there's this wonderful thing called Google that allows you to figure it out! yay ;)

  24. 4 out of 5

    Allie

    Highly recommended! I was cackling like a maniac when I read this on the bus. I think it should be mandatory reading for all librarians and bookish types! All of these texts are so on point! Most of these are books I haven't even read, but have merely a passing familiarity. Danny Lavery's work (read the Toast!) is so bitingly funny, he perfectly distills these characters, authors, and conflicts to their petulant teen essentials. I died (DIED!) when I read the section on the American Girl books, e Highly recommended! I was cackling like a maniac when I read this on the bus. I think it should be mandatory reading for all librarians and bookish types! All of these texts are so on point! Most of these are books I haven't even read, but have merely a passing familiarity. Danny Lavery's work (read the Toast!) is so bitingly funny, he perfectly distills these characters, authors, and conflicts to their petulant teen essentials. I died (DIED!) when I read the section on the American Girl books, especially Addy's conversation with Harriet. I also just about died any time "new phone who dis" was used. (Updated in 2020 for name and pronoun changes. The content of the review and the effusive sentiment remain the same!)

  25. 4 out of 5

    Andrea

    It seems almost petty to blame this book for being pretty much what you would expect. However, for having TONS of source material to work with, a lot of the "chapters" seemed to fall short or go for more juvenile jokes than could have been made. I can’t say I was familiar with all the works and authors here so I did skim a little when it wasn’t material I was familiar with. Even some of those I was familiar with seemed to fall a bit short of the level of wit and cleverness I was hoping for. A so It seems almost petty to blame this book for being pretty much what you would expect. However, for having TONS of source material to work with, a lot of the "chapters" seemed to fall short or go for more juvenile jokes than could have been made. I can’t say I was familiar with all the works and authors here so I did skim a little when it wasn’t material I was familiar with. Even some of those I was familiar with seemed to fall a bit short of the level of wit and cleverness I was hoping for. A solid “meh”.

  26. 5 out of 5

    Jaime

    This book was pretty hilarious!! With COVID and other very heavy issues going on right now, I needed to laugh and this did the trick. Warning, if you’re not much of a reader of classic lit (much of which many have read in high school...Dickens, Austen, Greek myths) it may not be as funny. It does get to more modern lit toward the end.

  27. 4 out of 5

    TMR

    A fun little book where messages are exchanged with your favorite literary characters. The only reason why I had to DNF this as it got boring in the end, no matter how many laughs (which weren't a lot) I got from this book. Another reason would be that I didn't know a whole lot about the many literary characters that were mentioned here. But it was enjoyable while it lasted or at least while I lasted through this book. Hence the 3 mediocre stars. Until the next read, TMR A fun little book where messages are exchanged with your favorite literary characters. The only reason why I had to DNF this as it got boring in the end, no matter how many laughs (which weren't a lot) I got from this book. Another reason would be that I didn't know a whole lot about the many literary characters that were mentioned here. But it was enjoyable while it lasted or at least while I lasted through this book. Hence the 3 mediocre stars. Until the next read, TMR

  28. 5 out of 5

    Heather

    I am so glad I waited until I was drunk to read the Pride and Prejudice one. I saved it especially for being drunk. It did not disappoint, in a big way. I laughed so much it hurt me, also in a good way.

  29. 4 out of 5

    Rachel (Kalanadi)

    Parts of this were fun, but apparently I've read very few classics... and most of the jokes went over my head. Parts of this were fun, but apparently I've read very few classics... and most of the jokes went over my head.

  30. 5 out of 5

    Sherry

    This book is hilarious! Made me laugh so hard that now I must rush out and buy a copy. The texts between Cathy and Heathcliff are priceless.

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