web site hit counter Love Is A Choice Recovery for Codependent Relationships - Ebooks PDF Online
Hot Best Seller

Love Is A Choice Recovery for Codependent Relationships

Availability: Ready to download

Do you identify to any of these statements? "I just keep telling myself that if I try harder, I'll be able to fix him." "I spend all of my time and energy doing all the right things and trying to please everyone. And yet, at the end of the day, I still feel guilty. Why? " I vowed I'd never marry a man like Dad. But here I am married to a man who is married to his job, just Do you identify to any of these statements? "I just keep telling myself that if I try harder, I'll be able to fix him." "I spend all of my time and energy doing all the right things and trying to please everyone. And yet, at the end of the day, I still feel guilty. Why? " I vowed I'd never marry a man like Dad. But here I am married to a man who is married to his job, just like Dad." If you identify with any of these statements, you-like one in four Americans-may be codependent. This book will walk you through ten proven stages to recover from codependency, introducing a new dimension: the important stage of seeing God's unconditional love as the answer to your deepest emotional needs and your hunger for love. Love is a Choice- you first step toward real freedom from codependency!


Compare

Do you identify to any of these statements? "I just keep telling myself that if I try harder, I'll be able to fix him." "I spend all of my time and energy doing all the right things and trying to please everyone. And yet, at the end of the day, I still feel guilty. Why? " I vowed I'd never marry a man like Dad. But here I am married to a man who is married to his job, just Do you identify to any of these statements? "I just keep telling myself that if I try harder, I'll be able to fix him." "I spend all of my time and energy doing all the right things and trying to please everyone. And yet, at the end of the day, I still feel guilty. Why? " I vowed I'd never marry a man like Dad. But here I am married to a man who is married to his job, just like Dad." If you identify with any of these statements, you-like one in four Americans-may be codependent. This book will walk you through ten proven stages to recover from codependency, introducing a new dimension: the important stage of seeing God's unconditional love as the answer to your deepest emotional needs and your hunger for love. Love is a Choice- you first step toward real freedom from codependency!

30 review for Love Is A Choice Recovery for Codependent Relationships

  1. 5 out of 5

    Maria

    I picked up this book at a used book sale hoping it would provide some new insights into my codependent family background. I somehow missed the fact that it was going to point everything back to the authors' religious beliefs. There was a lot of great information in the first half or so of the book, but the closer I got to the end of it, the more they harped on using Christian beliefs as a tool in the recovery process. For those who are Christians, I'm sure this is a very helpful approach... but I picked up this book at a used book sale hoping it would provide some new insights into my codependent family background. I somehow missed the fact that it was going to point everything back to the authors' religious beliefs. There was a lot of great information in the first half or so of the book, but the closer I got to the end of it, the more they harped on using Christian beliefs as a tool in the recovery process. For those who are Christians, I'm sure this is a very helpful approach... but I had a problem with the way they actively painted non-Christians, especially atheists and agnostics, as inherently broken people who will never fully recover from codependency unless they start believing the same things the authors do. Honestly, I couldn't help but feel like they were setting up the idea of God as a new target of one's codependency rather than a real solution to it. This suggests to me that the authors don't actually believe there is a way to truly overcome codependency. The book was great at reiterating what all of my problems were and even painting some of them in a new light I hadn't thought of yet. It did help to elucidate some things. However, I wanted some solid advice on specific issues that I have struggled with, particularly dealing with anger and guilt. Instead, what I got was some halfhearted homework exercises followed by pages full of promises that if I would just put my faith in this deity I don't believe in, my problems would all go away. Through most of the book, I thought I would give this a 4/5. I couldn't give it the final point because it was just a little too preachy. However, after reading further, I can't give it higher than a 2/5, because it didn't really provide me with too many solutions that are viable for me as a non-Christian. It would be so nice if I could find a book on codependent/ACoA recovery that doesn't bring religion into the picture.

  2. 4 out of 5

    Karen

    I wanted to learn a little more about codependency and this was a very informative book with some cool insights. The title is a bit sensationalistic....to try to get people with issue to pick it up perhaps? I don't know. But I feel like it was inappropriately titled. Because really, it's more about getting healthy IN relationships. Of course not everyone is codependent, but I think everyone can find tidbits of insight learning about any topic, that can help in life. I'd recommend it to anyone an I wanted to learn a little more about codependency and this was a very informative book with some cool insights. The title is a bit sensationalistic....to try to get people with issue to pick it up perhaps? I don't know. But I feel like it was inappropriately titled. Because really, it's more about getting healthy IN relationships. Of course not everyone is codependent, but I think everyone can find tidbits of insight learning about any topic, that can help in life. I'd recommend it to anyone and everyone who is interested in learning more about themselves.

  3. 5 out of 5

    Erica

    Why do your relationships struggle? Why do you develop unhealthy dependencies of any kind--too much cleaning, working, exercising...these can all be outlets for unhealthy emotions that need to be addressed. I've read dozens, if not hundreds, of self-help books and this is the definitive book. This will get you moving forward with life. Why do your relationships struggle? Why do you develop unhealthy dependencies of any kind--too much cleaning, working, exercising...these can all be outlets for unhealthy emotions that need to be addressed. I've read dozens, if not hundreds, of self-help books and this is the definitive book. This will get you moving forward with life.

  4. 4 out of 5

    Kyna

    Hands down the best book on the subject of co-dependency there is. Nearly every client I have reads this book and winds up agreeing with me. Even ministers I recommend it to say it's the best book they've read since the Bible. Hands down the best book on the subject of co-dependency there is. Nearly every client I have reads this book and winds up agreeing with me. Even ministers I recommend it to say it's the best book they've read since the Bible.

  5. 5 out of 5

    Brandon Vaughan

    I read this book for research and counseling purposes. I felt like it was very informative, Biblically based, and Christ centered. I think that Biblically based psychology in its proper context is a good thing. It doesn’t excuse sin, but it does explain the reasons why we all have a certain bend towards certain sins. It then points to the only solution, which is Jesus Christ. I felt like this book walked that line very well. I would have given it five stars, except on the very last page it made I read this book for research and counseling purposes. I felt like it was very informative, Biblically based, and Christ centered. I think that Biblically based psychology in its proper context is a good thing. It doesn’t excuse sin, but it does explain the reasons why we all have a certain bend towards certain sins. It then points to the only solution, which is Jesus Christ. I felt like this book walked that line very well. I would have given it five stars, except on the very last page it made a theological statement that I disagree with. But an overall great read.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Russell Holbrook

    Painful. Revelatory. Left me asking myself, "so now what do I do?" I am glad that I read this book. Finding it was one of those strange instances where a book calls out to you, or, in this case, the title practically screams at you. I found it in a box of books that was about to get thrown into the recycling bin. And then I found myself in the pages. That hurt. A lot. A whole fucking lot. Despite the Christian rhetoric, this is a good book and I learned a great deal by reading it. I plan to keep Painful. Revelatory. Left me asking myself, "so now what do I do?" I am glad that I read this book. Finding it was one of those strange instances where a book calls out to you, or, in this case, the title practically screams at you. I found it in a box of books that was about to get thrown into the recycling bin. And then I found myself in the pages. That hurt. A lot. A whole fucking lot. Despite the Christian rhetoric, this is a good book and I learned a great deal by reading it. I plan to keep it and work the ten steps it describes as well as getting help from a professional therapist. All in all, I am very grateful that this book came into my life. :)

  7. 5 out of 5

    M Baylor

    incredibly helpful book for every neurotic person out there.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Barb Graf

    This book was very helpful to me in the past; it explained better than I ever had known some of the feelings I had and why I was stuck in unhealthy relationships and what I was doing to keep it all unhealthy and was making it worse. What came naturally to me was hurting everybody especially me, and I didn't know how to change or improve it all. I now know that I am not alone in this kind of thinking and it can (and did!) improve. I am grateful to a great counselor and other books too that gave m This book was very helpful to me in the past; it explained better than I ever had known some of the feelings I had and why I was stuck in unhealthy relationships and what I was doing to keep it all unhealthy and was making it worse. What came naturally to me was hurting everybody especially me, and I didn't know how to change or improve it all. I now know that I am not alone in this kind of thinking and it can (and did!) improve. I am grateful to a great counselor and other books too that gave me hope for a better future. I am of course still learning and growing and seeing sides of myself that need work ! But I have hope that there are those who can guide and lead and teach those who want to learn. (Thank God !)

  9. 4 out of 5

    Stephanie

    This book was helpful in bringing to light the thoughts that are often kept in the subconscious. I read a lot of self-help books, but the tone of this one was particularly helpful. While gentle in the approach, the author is firm in his analysis and experience of dealing with codependents. Marriage is discussed at length, but I don't believe this should deter singles from reading; the author described is as a way to be more aware before entering a marriage. The last section of this book has a he This book was helpful in bringing to light the thoughts that are often kept in the subconscious. I read a lot of self-help books, but the tone of this one was particularly helpful. While gentle in the approach, the author is firm in his analysis and experience of dealing with codependents. Marriage is discussed at length, but I don't believe this should deter singles from reading; the author described is as a way to be more aware before entering a marriage. The last section of this book has a heavy emphasis on Christianity being the only way in which one can achieve healing from codependency, and while I enjoyed this approach, I can see where it would be off-putting to certain readers. Overall, I thought this book provided insight and is an excellent step to take towards healing.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Kristin

    Very helpful. I found this book on my late-mother's bookshelf. I hope in heaven to have a chance to talk to her about her story and journey. Although she never came out and talked to me about co-dependency, her life reflected the hard work she did to get out of this painful and damaging addiction. Her life gives me hope for continued healing and joy in a new way of living life. I read the first half of this book, then set it aside while I read other books on co-dependency, specifically several Me Very helpful. I found this book on my late-mother's bookshelf. I hope in heaven to have a chance to talk to her about her story and journey. Although she never came out and talked to me about co-dependency, her life reflected the hard work she did to get out of this painful and damaging addiction. Her life gives me hope for continued healing and joy in a new way of living life. I read the first half of this book, then set it aside while I read other books on co-dependency, specifically several Melody Beattie books. God has used them in my life to build on each other and help me in my healing journey. The last half of this book is a step by step guide. Very practical.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Mary

    This book is a must for any person disappointed by love and relationships. Fear and desperation can cause you to hold onto a destructive relationship because you feel God would be mad at you for giving up. But, you can only work on yourself. This work can help you realize that once you let go, then God can do His miraculous work on you and others. From the Christian doctors at Minirth Clinic. I have read it about 10 times over the last 20+ years.

  12. 5 out of 5

    Bridgett

    Helpful in explaining what codependency is and how to start taking steps in overcoming it, though I got confused sometime about what codependency leaves off and other addictions/relationship problems begin. The definition seems very broad. Even though I believe in God the Christian tone of the book also made me a little uncomfortable.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Keith

    Great book, but kept putting Christianity in my face over and over. The premise is simple: if you weren't loved enough at a young age, you might be miserable now. And as we all know: misery loves company. Had this title been more about that and less about Jebus, I probably would have given it four stars. Great book, but kept putting Christianity in my face over and over. The premise is simple: if you weren't loved enough at a young age, you might be miserable now. And as we all know: misery loves company. Had this title been more about that and less about Jebus, I probably would have given it four stars.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Kaitlyn Pindak

    “Every book has a theme; that is, an underlying message; and the theme of this one is control... for the key to overcoming codependency is a relationship with God established the only way He has declared He wants it established- through Jesus Christ.” This book is basically a crash course of counseling wrapped in a written package. It is life changing.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Kay-Leigh

    Fantastic book on why we are sometimes drawn to destructive behaviours and relationships. Must read!

  16. 5 out of 5

    Annie Bookworm

    Love is a choice, is such a profound book. It covers every inch of information needed to grasp the vicious cycle of codependency and the rippleeffects it has in many lives apart and including your own. I've never read a book where I had to take so many breaks between chapters, not because it was boring, but because I had to digest and fathom what I've been reading. Being a victim of a SO's addiction, this book taught me about the degree of codependency I had and in many ways still do. It teaches y Love is a choice, is such a profound book. It covers every inch of information needed to grasp the vicious cycle of codependency and the rippleeffects it has in many lives apart and including your own. I've never read a book where I had to take so many breaks between chapters, not because it was boring, but because I had to digest and fathom what I've been reading. Being a victim of a SO's addiction, this book taught me about the degree of codependency I had and in many ways still do. It teaches you how to recognize the traces and behavior of codependency in your life and in others, without making you feel guilty or blaming you. As a counselor (or whoever), it's nice having a tool to help yourself and others in a way that would stay with you and help you for many years and stages in your life. Highly recommend this for everyone!!! Read this, memorize this, make this a lifestyle.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Marian Dossou

    Starts with an explanation of what codependency is by taking a look at various peoples struggles and referencing a couple counseling sessions. Then it describes a 10 step process for over coming codependency. I didn't do all of the exercises; however, this book encourages you to take a closer look at your childhood and past relationships and become more self aware. Interesting take aways: avoid the natural instinct to return home & pay attention to how and when you fill your love tanks Starts with an explanation of what codependency is by taking a look at various peoples struggles and referencing a couple counseling sessions. Then it describes a 10 step process for over coming codependency. I didn't do all of the exercises; however, this book encourages you to take a closer look at your childhood and past relationships and become more self aware. Interesting take aways: avoid the natural instinct to return home & pay attention to how and when you fill your love tanks

  18. 5 out of 5

    S.E. Saxton

    Well this book was an emotional rollercoaster. I was required to read it for my school, however I have learned so much of my patterns in who I dated in the past and my relationship with my family. A lot I already knew as I did a 2.5 year self journey and even got my own counseling for a bit. But wow! I recommend this book to everyone! Everyone has to heal from some dysfunction in their life even if they don't think they had any, trust me you did! Well this book was an emotional rollercoaster. I was required to read it for my school, however I have learned so much of my patterns in who I dated in the past and my relationship with my family. A lot I already knew as I did a 2.5 year self journey and even got my own counseling for a bit. But wow! I recommend this book to everyone! Everyone has to heal from some dysfunction in their life even if they don't think they had any, trust me you did!

  19. 5 out of 5

    Leon

    There are a lot of tidbits and list making that help for introspection and reflection, but the authors can become sidetracked with biblical notations. I wish I had had some knowledge of this before starting, because it can be tedious if you’re not of a Christian persuasion. But if you think you’re someone who may be codependent, it can be beneficial to grab at copy at your local library - or for a few bucks at a garage sale, rummage bin, or the such.

  20. 4 out of 5

    Gracie Baids

    A few notes from this book: 1. We’re all codependent in some form or fashion to some degree. 2. Our brains are fascinating, albeit sometimes deceiving and persistent, in getting our human needs met. Often in unlikely and unhealthy ways. 3. Will definitely re-read this one!

  21. 4 out of 5

    Celia Maus

    While the book has some good information, it's just not for me. I am not Christian, and disagree with God being the final arbiter or answer for all problems. While the book has some good information, it's just not for me. I am not Christian, and disagree with God being the final arbiter or answer for all problems.

  22. 5 out of 5

    Amber Berkhart

    Very informative... But there was a lot of personal agenda with the writers' religion. Also, I felt that it was extremely repetitive Very informative... But there was a lot of personal agenda with the writers' religion. Also, I felt that it was extremely repetitive

  23. 5 out of 5

    Jonathan Somoza

    Helps on co-dependency mindsets!

  24. 5 out of 5

    Jessa Bame

    I read this during a hard time in my life. I would highly recommend.

  25. 5 out of 5

    Anna Mosca

    This book was useful, for sure, yet a lot of the things in it were a bit heard already and not holding the spark of revelation. I’m a Christian but it felt a bit too “preachy” and not down to earth in touch with real pain. Not sure what it was but I find myself finishing it because I wanted to get to the end, and because there was a base of truth, but I was mostly bored or turned off. The reader’s voice on the audio version either was a robot or sounded like one. Good principles but not very exc This book was useful, for sure, yet a lot of the things in it were a bit heard already and not holding the spark of revelation. I’m a Christian but it felt a bit too “preachy” and not down to earth in touch with real pain. Not sure what it was but I find myself finishing it because I wanted to get to the end, and because there was a base of truth, but I was mostly bored or turned off. The reader’s voice on the audio version either was a robot or sounded like one. Good principles but not very exciting as usually books about healing can be.

  26. 5 out of 5

    Jody Hakkola

    I found this text to be incredibly insightful...not only does it delve into the current societal tendencies towards codependent lifestyles, but it shines a ginormous light on the family systems and the roles that we were given and the roles we accept within the family unit...that continue to play out over and over again within relationships outside of the familial. Not only in romantic relationships, but for the codependent....most all relationships, for e.g., bosses, neighbors, pastors, counsel I found this text to be incredibly insightful...not only does it delve into the current societal tendencies towards codependent lifestyles, but it shines a ginormous light on the family systems and the roles that we were given and the roles we accept within the family unit...that continue to play out over and over again within relationships outside of the familial. Not only in romantic relationships, but for the codependent....most all relationships, for e.g., bosses, neighbors, pastors, counselors, etc. I appreciate the detailed examples the author uses, along with in-living color cases. The chpt on anger, and denial being at the root of most codependents, left me a believer. As a therapist I appreciate the special care the authors took to not include the guilt and shame aspects to addiction that many religious sects do...however in saying that, the very Christian texture to this book, was a huge turnoff. The authors pulled no punches in their narrow lectures about God, and quoted many scriptures from the Bible. which is such a shame, because there is so much wonderful direction and hope in their theory, to have singled out the bias religious notion, that the Christian God is the only spiritual way through addiction. Even AA doesn't subscribe to ONE spiritual way anymore. The rigidity will surely turn off and tune out many non-Christian readers. However once I set the heavy Christian tone aside it is truly one of the most gritty and original take's on codependence, and the addiction it is, and the devastating impact it has on people and their families. I will say this though...this book is so in your face, that if you're not ready to receive it as a codependent you won't. As a therapist, I will use this daily, including its accompanying workbook. The authors leave no stone unturned for the addict, and gives the reader so much to process about their relationships, past, present and future, and specific coping skills, working tools, and practices that are actually doable.

  27. 5 out of 5

    Andrea Norton

    I didn't know much about codependency going into this book, and I really feel like I still don't know much about it. You see, I don't do well with books that suggest everything is rooted in childhood and the "inner child" theory. My issues did not come from my childhood. I am one of the few that had a beautiful childhood with parents who couldn't have been any better. My issues came from my first marriage. There are definitions of abuse in here that I have never heard before and since this is an o I didn't know much about codependency going into this book, and I really feel like I still don't know much about it. You see, I don't do well with books that suggest everything is rooted in childhood and the "inner child" theory. My issues did not come from my childhood. I am one of the few that had a beautiful childhood with parents who couldn't have been any better. My issues came from my first marriage. There are definitions of abuse in here that I have never heard before and since this is an older book, I hope those definitions have been reconsidered over the years. The impression I got was that almost anything a parent does that is wrong equals abuse. I was looking to learn more about codependency that stems from a bunch of situations, not just childhood. I didn't get that here, which was disappointing. Also, the religion thing. Now, I'm Christian and happy with my religion of choice. However, it got over the top as the book went on. In the beginning, God is talked about here and there. As you read on, you will see more and more about God. While that is all fine and dandy, the world is not full of Christians only. People are looking for answers and for a lot of them, God is not it. That is perfectly okay for them, and by saying God is the only answer, and the only way you can heal, you are severely limiting your audience. This book was hugely popular and I've read that it's still recommended a lot. If you're looking for answers about childhood, this may help you. If you can overlook the God parts, you might enjoy this one. But, if you are like me and are looking for education and help from something that happened in adulthood, I don't think I'd recommend this one. Love is a Choice is very much a person by person book, and it's appeal is really limited.

  28. 5 out of 5

    Christy

    I was both proud and skeptical when I read this book's little synopsis. It had very great reviews, though, so I went ahead and read it anyway. After reading it I couldn't agree more wholeheartedly. The book focuses on codependency, which describes to some degree almost anyone who has come from a family with baggage. It has helped me to see more clearly patterns in both my life and in many of the lives around me. It has shown me something in our culture that I fear is a major problem in how we le I was both proud and skeptical when I read this book's little synopsis. It had very great reviews, though, so I went ahead and read it anyway. After reading it I couldn't agree more wholeheartedly. The book focuses on codependency, which describes to some degree almost anyone who has come from a family with baggage. It has helped me to see more clearly patterns in both my life and in many of the lives around me. It has shown me something in our culture that I fear is a major problem in how we learn (or fail to learn) how to relate to one another. It and a few other key books have really helped to shift my paradigms about what it means to value myself properly, value others healthily, and love the majority of our culture bound up to some degree by these issues.

  29. 4 out of 5

    Sarah Smith

    This was a hard book to make it through. There was a lot of Christian teachings, and it really bogged things down for me. Lots of bible verse and trust in God. I actually felt after reading this book that my assessment from the Lundy book was correct, that I wasn't truly a co-dependent, so much did not apply to me. IF you could make it through all the religious muck, it did have some good points about boundaries. Also that being a helpful person, doesn't automatically make you an enabler, the ex This was a hard book to make it through. There was a lot of Christian teachings, and it really bogged things down for me. Lots of bible verse and trust in God. I actually felt after reading this book that my assessment from the Lundy book was correct, that I wasn't truly a co-dependent, so much did not apply to me. IF you could make it through all the religious muck, it did have some good points about boundaries. Also that being a helpful person, doesn't automatically make you an enabler, the extent that you go to help makes you an enabler. For more reviews see my blog: https://adventuresofabibliophile.blog...

  30. 4 out of 5

    Jennifer

    This book delves deep into the destructiveness caused by generational codependency. It helped me understand myself better, and learn how to establish healthier boundaries in my relationships with others. This book takes an approach to dealing with codependency from a Godly standpoint. Very, very good read!! For anyone that is struggling in their life!

Add a review

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Loading...
We use cookies to give you the best online experience. By using our website you agree to our use of cookies in accordance with our cookie policy.