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The Second Nine Months: One Woman Tells the Real Truth about Becoming a Mom. Finally.

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I want to walk out of Target and leave Blair there, wailing.... Nice people work at Target. Surely someone would take her home and care for her and buy her pretty things. So begins Vicki Glembocki’s brutally honest yet hilarious memoir of her agonizing transition into motherhood. Why agonizing? Because no one told her how tough it would be. Finally, Glembocki lays out the I want to walk out of Target and leave Blair there, wailing.... Nice people work at Target. Surely someone would take her home and care for her and buy her pretty things. So begins Vicki Glembocki’s brutally honest yet hilarious memoir of her agonizing transition into motherhood. Why agonizing? Because no one told her how tough it would be. Finally, Glembocki lays out the truth about those first months with baby: the certainty that you’re doing everything wrong; the desire to kill your husband, your mother, your dog; the struggle to balance who you were with whom you’ve become-a mother. Unlike any other book on motherhood, Glembocki breaks the New Mother Code of Silence, proving that “maternal bliss” is not innate, but learned. Funny and wise, she connects with new moms on a shockingly intimate level, letting them know that they are not alone.


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I want to walk out of Target and leave Blair there, wailing.... Nice people work at Target. Surely someone would take her home and care for her and buy her pretty things. So begins Vicki Glembocki’s brutally honest yet hilarious memoir of her agonizing transition into motherhood. Why agonizing? Because no one told her how tough it would be. Finally, Glembocki lays out the I want to walk out of Target and leave Blair there, wailing.... Nice people work at Target. Surely someone would take her home and care for her and buy her pretty things. So begins Vicki Glembocki’s brutally honest yet hilarious memoir of her agonizing transition into motherhood. Why agonizing? Because no one told her how tough it would be. Finally, Glembocki lays out the truth about those first months with baby: the certainty that you’re doing everything wrong; the desire to kill your husband, your mother, your dog; the struggle to balance who you were with whom you’ve become-a mother. Unlike any other book on motherhood, Glembocki breaks the New Mother Code of Silence, proving that “maternal bliss” is not innate, but learned. Funny and wise, she connects with new moms on a shockingly intimate level, letting them know that they are not alone.

30 review for The Second Nine Months: One Woman Tells the Real Truth about Becoming a Mom. Finally.

  1. 4 out of 5

    Ciara

    i don't really know what the hell to think about this book. i have thought for a long time that i got lucky because ramona is just a really easy baby. why, she's napping right now, enabling me to take the time to write this review! other people, including my partner, insist that ramona is easy because we are doing something right as parents. i didn't want to think that, because it felt like hubris, & because the obvious implication is that someone who is struggling is doing it to themselves. but i don't really know what the hell to think about this book. i have thought for a long time that i got lucky because ramona is just a really easy baby. why, she's napping right now, enabling me to take the time to write this review! other people, including my partner, insist that ramona is easy because we are doing something right as parents. i didn't want to think that, because it felt like hubris, & because the obvious implication is that someone who is struggling is doing it to themselves. but...maybe there's actually some legitimacy to that. it does sound like glembocki had a difficult newborn. i don't know if i'm just forgetting, but i don't think ramona cried that much when she was a month or two old. but i also had different parenting strategies. like wearing ramona instead of using a stroller. there were definitely times when she would scream unless she was being worn. i could have refused to wear her & suffered with a screaming, inconsolable baby, but instead i just accepted that i was going to have to wear her. i also accepted any & all help jared wanted to offer. glembocki writes about refusing to let her husband give their baby a bottle of pumped milk in the night because "feedings were [her] job". & then she'd complain that she was up half the night nursing the baby. sure, i struggled a first with feeling like the baby was all my responsibility & that i was a substandard mother incurring my partner's resentment if i let him pitch in. but i got over it. & having a baby that is equally attached to both parents & comfortable with our unique parenting styles makes things much easier. she writes about not letting her baby co-sleep because she didn't want to foster "bad sleep habits". we co-slept with ramona when she was tiny. we also let her sleep in her boppy pillow & her bouncy chair--both huge no-no's to some people, who call it "accidental parenting" & claim tha using sleep props with a newborn will beget a baby that will forever reject the crib. we now have a six-month-old that sleeps twelve hours a night in her crib. so...worked out for us? i don't know. i mean, it's nice that there are people telling "the truth" about parenting. it's definitely not all sunshine & roses. i have definitely broken down into tears before when ramona has been screaming & just won't stop. & a baby is just an incredible amount of work. seriously, kiss your child-free life GOODBYE because a baby changes EVERYTHING. & there is NO WAY to prepare in advance. you can read this book & every other book out there in the same vein & you still won't really get it until you have your own baby. also, childless nannies reading this? yeah. not the same. sorry. but six months of intense observation & conversation has taught me that there are things new parents do that makes parenting harder. like reading too many books, trying to figure out the "right" way to get their baby to sleep, or to eat, or to reach milestones. paying too much attention to milestones. trying too hard to keep everything "like it was," in terms of friendships, relationship with partner, make-up routine, whatever. sticking rigidly to pre-conceived notions about how to parent (to co-sleep or not, to babywear or not, etc) that were dreamed up before baby was born & may not be applicable to this particular baby. glembocki wrote a whole book about her struggles to bond with her daughter & find her groove as a mom, & never seemed to reflect on any of this. which is too bad.

  2. 4 out of 5

    Laura

    I am so glad I read this book BEFORE having these feelings myself, because I am positive this is how I will feel about parenting. The author, Vicki Glembocki, feels like she is a fraud and a horrible parent because none of this comes naturally to her, but tries to hide all of that from everyone. Which makes her miserable, because everyone is trying to hide that they're frauds, so the result is that everyone feels even more like a failure and more alone in their situation. Since this is how I fee I am so glad I read this book BEFORE having these feelings myself, because I am positive this is how I will feel about parenting. The author, Vicki Glembocki, feels like she is a fraud and a horrible parent because none of this comes naturally to her, but tries to hide all of that from everyone. Which makes her miserable, because everyone is trying to hide that they're frauds, so the result is that everyone feels even more like a failure and more alone in their situation. Since this is how I feel about graduate school, I am sure it will carry over. Add to that the fact that I dress dolls by holding them by the head and shoving onesies over their arms, and I think it's a given that 'maternal instinct' does not come naturally to me. And it is nice to know that EVERYONE feels this way - as Neligh said, it is the PERFECT antidote for Babycenter and parenting magazines, which have already partially succeeded in making me feel like an inadequate mother for being more annoyed at my as-yet-unborn baby when it kicks the crud out of my ribs (it really hurts) than feeling gushy that 'the little bean sure is getting strong!' Also, in contrast to "Baby Laughs", this book is honest and cynical about the 'joys' of caring for a newborn without regressing to elementary-age humor - because poop stories can be funny without just saying the word 'poop' over and over again. And, as it turns out, there's more to parenting than poop anyway.

  3. 5 out of 5

    Kristl

    As the author puts it, I'm thinking about having a baby, maybe, this century, so I thought I might want to read this. I often hear mothers never tell you the full truth about the horror that is childbirth and that is because they conveniently forget once they move on to the glory that is motherhood. The author of The Second Nine Months wants you to know they forget the horror that is childbirth because the horror that is the first stages of motherhood is much, much, much, much worse. I made mysel As the author puts it, I'm thinking about having a baby, maybe, this century, so I thought I might want to read this. I often hear mothers never tell you the full truth about the horror that is childbirth and that is because they conveniently forget once they move on to the glory that is motherhood. The author of The Second Nine Months wants you to know they forget the horror that is childbirth because the horror that is the first stages of motherhood is much, much, much, much worse. I made myself finish this intimate memoir even though I was really beginning to wonder how the human race hasn't died off for lack of wanting to ever procreate again. The accounts are so true that, even though I'm not yet a mom, I could feel the stress, worry, anger, and sleep deprivation through the turn of each page. And in a very strange way, it gave light to all the scary details of motherhood that I long suspected and am very grateful I know a little bit about now. In the end, we see why humans are still around (eventually, they get it together and are ridiculously interesting) and we see that the title of motherhood is one that is earned and definitely not one that is given by the flip of a switch.

  4. 5 out of 5

    Mary Louise

    The Second Nine Months is brutally honest, entertaining, and timely. I couldn’t stop turning pages, reading it in two sittings. While I agree with many of the other reviews of this book, I would add that while certainly Vicki Glembocki has a strong, authentic narrative voice, she has also written a well-crafted memoir. Only a gifted writer can sustain the necessary tension to pull off an extended narrative such as this. The first 50 pages are simply hysterical! The pacing of the book in general- The Second Nine Months is brutally honest, entertaining, and timely. I couldn’t stop turning pages, reading it in two sittings. While I agree with many of the other reviews of this book, I would add that while certainly Vicki Glembocki has a strong, authentic narrative voice, she has also written a well-crafted memoir. Only a gifted writer can sustain the necessary tension to pull off an extended narrative such as this. The first 50 pages are simply hysterical! The pacing of the book in general-line by line, paragraph by paragraph—and her comic timing specifically, makes it a pleasurable read. And like the others, I found this book most valuable because by telling the truth (finally, as her book title so aptly states) she has opened an important discussion about how our culture keeps the lid tightly shut on negative thoughts about motherhood, even though most of the new mothers I know harbor the same fears and doubts outlined in this book. This book would be an excellent gift to extended family members or those smug-faced friends without children. If they read Glembocki's book, but still don’t get it, forgetaboutit.

  5. 5 out of 5

    Susan Bazzett-Griffith

    Once I started this book, I barely put it down. Probably the best, most realistic parenting memoir I've read since Jennifer Graf Groneberg's Road Map to Holland, and by far the best I've read about a mom to a neurotypical baby, I give Ms. Glembocki serious credit for her honesty about how difficult being a new mother in your 30s can be. I laughed and cried a few times each while devouring this book, remembering my own sleepless nights, waking up panicked, sure my baby wasn't breathing and wonder Once I started this book, I barely put it down. Probably the best, most realistic parenting memoir I've read since Jennifer Graf Groneberg's Road Map to Holland, and by far the best I've read about a mom to a neurotypical baby, I give Ms. Glembocki serious credit for her honesty about how difficult being a new mother in your 30s can be. I laughed and cried a few times each while devouring this book, remembering my own sleepless nights, waking up panicked, sure my baby wasn't breathing and wondering when I would clock more than 45 minutes of sleep in row; and even though those days are years behind me now, I still remember how very difficult the emotional rollercoaster of new motherhood was. I read some other reviews of this book and was seriously dismayed that some readers were unable to detect the tone of love from the getgo. That is so not what was happening in the first few months of this woman's descent into motherhood-- the opposite, actually. No, she didn't feel bonded at first- she felt overwhelmed, sleep-deprived, crazy, but under all of that, through her words, you can FEEL the love she has for her daughter- if she didn't love her daughter, she wouldn't have kept going, she wouldn't have gone through those crazy months, she wouldn't have kept trying everything she could to get through the breastfeeding/nursing tube issues, the colic, the sleep training, the hard stuff. I've often thought that the first few months of parenting are so exhausting to make you realize how serious the responsibility of raising a person is-- nature's boot camp, if you will. And Vicki Glembocki describes it all beautifully, with humor, honesty and love. Everyone who knows someone pregnant with their first child should hand them a copy of this memoir before they leave for the hospital. Five stars.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Sonya Feher

    Vicki Glembocki is a mainstream parent. If your views and concerns run that way, this would be a great book to read. It's fast-paced, honest, and funny. However, Glembocki's truth is not my truth. Many of her parenting experiences just don't reflect how I felt at all. For much of the first year, Glembocki doesn't feel connected/attached to her daughter. While I relate to the loss of self that comes with parenthood and the patience parenting requires, her playgroup and parenting friendships, her Vicki Glembocki is a mainstream parent. If your views and concerns run that way, this would be a great book to read. It's fast-paced, honest, and funny. However, Glembocki's truth is not my truth. Many of her parenting experiences just don't reflect how I felt at all. For much of the first year, Glembocki doesn't feel connected/attached to her daughter. While I relate to the loss of self that comes with parenthood and the patience parenting requires, her playgroup and parenting friendships, her relationship with her child, and the time it took her to warm up to her child just were quite different for me. Still, pretty much all parents I know have moments when they wonder if they're the only ones who feel ambivalent, angry, or isolated. Glembocki admits to these feelings frankly and with humor, both of which I appreciated

  7. 4 out of 5

    Ashley

    The author's strong, relatable voice will carry you through this memoir in one or two sittings. A brutally honest and realistically endearing portrayal about being a new mom. Many of the scenes are memorable because of their mix of rawness, emotion, awkwardness and humor. A great read for mothers, thinking-about-being mothers and men who should know what their wives are going through! The author's strong, relatable voice will carry you through this memoir in one or two sittings. A brutally honest and realistically endearing portrayal about being a new mom. Many of the scenes are memorable because of their mix of rawness, emotion, awkwardness and humor. A great read for mothers, thinking-about-being mothers and men who should know what their wives are going through!

  8. 5 out of 5

    Becky

    First of all, make sure you get this book (by Vicki Glembocki) & not another book also entitled the Second Nine Months (because that one is an older & boring "how-to" book) I loved this book! Maybe because it's just the right time in my life to read this (I'm going through the second nine months with my son at the moment). Vicki has such a great style of writing & is so honest that I want to move to New Jersey just to be her friend and have her advice. This is NOT a how to book - which is great b First of all, make sure you get this book (by Vicki Glembocki) & not another book also entitled the Second Nine Months (because that one is an older & boring "how-to" book) I loved this book! Maybe because it's just the right time in my life to read this (I'm going through the second nine months with my son at the moment). Vicki has such a great style of writing & is so honest that I want to move to New Jersey just to be her friend and have her advice. This is NOT a how to book - which is great because I my list of those to read grows every day & they are BORING. This is a honest and fun story about one woman's survival and adjustment to her new role as mother. oh & it does have some profanity - but not nearly as much as "Sweet Potato Queen"'s books - only about a dozen or so words ----------------------------------------------- "...she's a little doll.' That wasn't the Blair I knew. The Blair I knew was never chatty. She never smiled. Or she rarely smiled. Or maybe I was trying so hard to get her to stop crying that I didn't notice her smiling. I didn't see how happy she was when the swaddling worked, when the bouncing worked, when she calmed down, because I was already preparing for the next fit. Because I was living meltdown to meltdown, oblivious to what transpired in between." "I'm mom-ing, entertaining, teaching, even though she isn't doing anything. She doesn't seem to care what I do. She lies on the floor or on a blanket or on her gym mat, occasionally looking up at the toys hanging from the bars that arch over her head, sometimes on her stomach, sometimes on her back, sometimes lifting her head up, sometimes squealing, sometimes not squealing, sometimes smiling, sometimes not." "Because the only thing that anyone ever tells you is that having a baby is going to be like this. It's going to be ROSES? This should be illegal, all this mommy propaganda, all this la-la crap that's oozing out of every book and every article, that every aunt and every neighbor and ever nurse at the OBGYN gushes forth like Sweet 'n Low when you break the "I'm pregnant" news, that sets up to have these expectations that motherhood is immediately, an d forever after, bliss. And delight. And roses, for heaven's sake. There were moments like that. Of course there were moments. But there was so much else going on, too, things that made me feel emotions that no one warned me I would feel....But the feelings kept raging and churning in my head, this battle over what I thought motherhood should be verses what I was really going through." "But now, with her squealing, with her more at ease than she's ever been, I've forgotten. That fast I've forgotten that just six short months ago I could not envision that I would ever be where I am right now, with a whole night of sleep ahead of me, in a bedroom without a receiving blanket or a Pack 'n Play or a single ounce of spit-up in it, in a bed with a husband I didn't want to kill. I've forgotten how scared I was how ambivalent I was, how stressed I was.... And I wonder if maybe that is why no one ever told me being a mom was so hard. Maybe their babies had gotten older and cuter and funnier. Maybe their babies had started to smile. And squeal when they saw them. And they'd all gotten used to each other. Maybe they'd forgotten."

  9. 5 out of 5

    Shilo Quetchenbach

    This book was really hard to read, and I couldn't sympathize with or like the author at all. It's basically the story of how much she hated her child for the first 6 months of her life. In agonizing detail of how miserable she was, how she wished she could run back to her magazine editor job, be whistled at by construction workers, have 10 minutes to check her email on her days off without her annoying and boring daughter demanding her attention. How she couldn't connect with any of the other mo This book was really hard to read, and I couldn't sympathize with or like the author at all. It's basically the story of how much she hated her child for the first 6 months of her life. In agonizing detail of how miserable she was, how she wished she could run back to her magazine editor job, be whistled at by construction workers, have 10 minutes to check her email on her days off without her annoying and boring daughter demanding her attention. How she couldn't connect with any of the other mommies at the groups she went to, because even when they complained about how hard it was, they actually liked their children. The hatred and frustration was palpable, and I felt so bad for that little girl. Eventually, things calmed down, but... I'm really glad she wasn't my mother. The reviews and things claim that it's a funny and humorous memoir - a look at what it's really like to have a child. I hope all mothers don't hate their children that much.

  10. 4 out of 5

    Cosette

    I actually enjoyed this book. Since moving to pennsylvania, I've been meeting this odd mother type that I couldn't figure out - 3-4 kids & working full-time. Who would do that to themselves? Vicki explains it to me - & of course, the mention of local things make it humorous - the wawa, the convention center, the train, the traffic. Her need to work outside the home is not something I relate to, but then she's having her first kid at 33 - here I am with my 3rd at 34. I love that she "changes" for I actually enjoyed this book. Since moving to pennsylvania, I've been meeting this odd mother type that I couldn't figure out - 3-4 kids & working full-time. Who would do that to themselves? Vicki explains it to me - & of course, the mention of local things make it humorous - the wawa, the convention center, the train, the traffic. Her need to work outside the home is not something I relate to, but then she's having her first kid at 33 - here I am with my 3rd at 34. I love that she "changes" for her daughter, love how she explains her girlfriends' perfect stories (another oddity I will explain away due to living on the eastcoast), love how the pregnant woman at the gym is not grateful for her advice, appreciate how hard it's been for her husband to be the dad he never had. I'm grateful that she wrote it.

  11. 5 out of 5

    Cristen

    I love this book! It saved my sanity on more than one occasion. It's startlingly truthful and laugh-out-loud funny. If I ever meet Vicki, I'm going to hug her. Not everyone gets a perfect, sweet little baby. Sometimes you get a baby that doesn't want to eat or sleep or be out of your arms for one single second (no matter how bad you have to pee). Sometimes your baby is so bad, it takes months to bond with him/her - a fact that can crumble the strongest willed woman. That woman was me. Surrounded I love this book! It saved my sanity on more than one occasion. It's startlingly truthful and laugh-out-loud funny. If I ever meet Vicki, I'm going to hug her. Not everyone gets a perfect, sweet little baby. Sometimes you get a baby that doesn't want to eat or sleep or be out of your arms for one single second (no matter how bad you have to pee). Sometimes your baby is so bad, it takes months to bond with him/her - a fact that can crumble the strongest willed woman. That woman was me. Surrounded by other Moms who couldn't relate to my situation, it was a huge relief to find an account that so closely mirrored mine. Vicki's story came with a happy ending. It gave me hope that mine will too.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Anna

    I am so glad this book exists. While I didn't always agree/connect with all of her feelings, it was so comforting to be able to read this, especially when I first became a mom. I, too, struggled with how to be a good mom and how to enjoy my kid. It felt really good to read an honest, open account of how everything isn't always so peachy. When reading a book like this it's really hard not to judge the writer. But I really tried not to and I really just have to thank her for telling her story. Mot I am so glad this book exists. While I didn't always agree/connect with all of her feelings, it was so comforting to be able to read this, especially when I first became a mom. I, too, struggled with how to be a good mom and how to enjoy my kid. It felt really good to read an honest, open account of how everything isn't always so peachy. When reading a book like this it's really hard not to judge the writer. But I really tried not to and I really just have to thank her for telling her story. Motherhood isn't all rosy and natural. It takes a while for it to feel natural. And I'm really glad I came across this book when I did.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Jennifer

    Vicki -- I stand up an applaud you! You have written every single feeling that I have been having since Day 1. I am the mom of a 4 yr. old and a 5 month old. My first daughter was hard -- she was my first, but I pretty much had to raise her alone since my husband was deployed from the time she was 8 months old until a month before her 2nd birthday. I started your book a few days after coming home from having my 2nd daughter. I laughed, I cried, and many times I nodded my head in agreement. Bravo f Vicki -- I stand up an applaud you! You have written every single feeling that I have been having since Day 1. I am the mom of a 4 yr. old and a 5 month old. My first daughter was hard -- she was my first, but I pretty much had to raise her alone since my husband was deployed from the time she was 8 months old until a month before her 2nd birthday. I started your book a few days after coming home from having my 2nd daughter. I laughed, I cried, and many times I nodded my head in agreement. Bravo for taking a stand!! Fantastic book! I hope to see more from you in the future!!

  14. 5 out of 5

    Cassie

    This memoir made me laugh, and it made me cry, and it made me feel that, retroactively, I really wasn't alone during those first couple of months of parenthood, which were so, so much harder than I expected them to be. Kudos to Vicki Glembocki for telling the (often harsh) truth about early motherhood! I related to many of the experiences she shares in this memoir; I think lots of new moms would be able to relate to them. This memoir made me laugh, and it made me cry, and it made me feel that, retroactively, I really wasn't alone during those first couple of months of parenthood, which were so, so much harder than I expected them to be. Kudos to Vicki Glembocki for telling the (often harsh) truth about early motherhood! I related to many of the experiences she shares in this memoir; I think lots of new moms would be able to relate to them.

  15. 4 out of 5

    Rachel

    I had a hard time relating to the author given that both my daughters were pretty low key babies. I understood her feelings of lossing ones self, the sleep deprivation, etc. but I felt connected to my girls within the first few days of having them so I had a hard time relating with her months long struggle with this. The later months were easier for me to relate to. Overall it was well written and a quick read.

  16. 4 out of 5

    Lynn

    This is a funny memoir. It is great for new mothers. Its very real and honest. Also quick read, if you have small children at home. It definitely helps me keep a sense of humour about becoming a mom and all the unexpected things that came with it.

  17. 5 out of 5

    Elizabeth Thorpe

    This reads like a beach book, but it's a horror story. I am glad it exists -- I think there should be more of these first-person accounts of parenting, and everyone considering having kids should read them (not that I am one of those people). But it's really hard to root for this woman. This reads like a beach book, but it's a horror story. I am glad it exists -- I think there should be more of these first-person accounts of parenting, and everyone considering having kids should read them (not that I am one of those people). But it's really hard to root for this woman.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Nicolette

    It was very nice to hear someone telling the truth (or at least her version of the truth) about motherhood. No sugar coating. Just the facts. Worth the read, especially for someone who is pregnant and still quite unsure how this is all going to play out.

  19. 5 out of 5

    Rebecca

    A very realistic portrayal of life with your firstborn!

  20. 4 out of 5

    Elise

    Every new mom needs to read this. Every. single. one. Share in the frustrations and joys of becoming a mom for the first time. READ IT.

  21. 5 out of 5

    Alice

    This book is fabulously comforting and validating for anyone who has had a fussy/high needs baby, but potentially uninteresting or unrelatable for absolutely everybody else. Having had a 'difficult' baby myself, I can frankly agree that yes: the first six months of parenting sucks! I found little of it enjoyable at all, having essentially spent this time either breastfeeding or on my feet, soothing a crying baby that appeared to hate being alive. I can assure some of the other reviewers on here This book is fabulously comforting and validating for anyone who has had a fussy/high needs baby, but potentially uninteresting or unrelatable for absolutely everybody else. Having had a 'difficult' baby myself, I can frankly agree that yes: the first six months of parenting sucks! I found little of it enjoyable at all, having essentially spent this time either breastfeeding or on my feet, soothing a crying baby that appeared to hate being alive. I can assure some of the other reviewers on here that have questioned whether Glembocki's parenting style contributed to her struggles: nothing really helps. We did the sling, co-sleeping, etc etc. Some babies are just tough. And salt on the wound was seemingly being surrounded by mothers with docile babies, leaving me feeling isolated and embarrassed. I looked everywhere for stories similar to mine, which is what brought me to this book. However, there were moments when even I struggled to relate to this story. And my boy was an even bigger challenge than baby Linda Blair (she would sleep in a swing! And nap independently! Unthinkable for my son). I mean, the intensity of the authors ambivalence was surprising - she didn't sound willing to take time off from work even from the outset, so she'd set herself up for inevitable resentment. I wonder what motivates people to have children when they are so firmly entrenched in their pre-motherhood identity? Still, it's important that all sorts of stories about motherhood are being told, and I applaud the author for sharing hers, especially those dark moments that are so rarely spoken of but not unusual at all.

  22. 4 out of 5

    Stephanie

    "It's really hard. Just so you know. The beginning was harder than anyone ever told me it would be. If you feel lost or frustrated or guilty or anything, know that you're not the only one." - p.246 Good memoir about becoming a mother for the first time. Vicki tells it like it is, and though she could be harsh at times, I know that many new mothers (myself included) have felt the same way she did. I always assumed that once I had my baby, a natural maternal instinct would kick in and I would know "It's really hard. Just so you know. The beginning was harder than anyone ever told me it would be. If you feel lost or frustrated or guilty or anything, know that you're not the only one." - p.246 Good memoir about becoming a mother for the first time. Vicki tells it like it is, and though she could be harsh at times, I know that many new mothers (myself included) have felt the same way she did. I always assumed that once I had my baby, a natural maternal instinct would kick in and I would know exactly what to do at all times, but that is rarely the case. I had a lot of learning to do and dealt with a lot of emotions and feelings, some that were hard to cope with. I appreciated the honesty and openness in this memoir. Women shouldn't be afraid to admit that becoming a mother is hard... and yet, you rarely ever see that happening. At first, I thought I was defective or doing it "wrong" because most people acted like it was easy and perfect, when for me it was hard and messy. Even though it's been a difficult learning curve and adjustment period, it's all been worth it. Quotes: "I always expected a switch to flip. There was no switch. There is no switch. There is no maternal gene that clicks on the moment the delivery room nurse places the baby on your chest. I had to learn how to be a mother." - p. 253 "I wondered if there would ever be a time when I wouldn't think I was doing something wrong, when I wouldn't think I was being a bad mother. Maybe that's what being a mother was." - p.258

  23. 4 out of 5

    Annie Murphy

    I read this when my first and only child was 4 months old. It was a quick read, and since I my husband was still at work and I was on maternity leave - every single time she was ungrateful for something her husband did that I would be ever so relieved my husband would even think about - ALL I COULD FEEL WAS RESENTFUL. Resentful at my husband, resentful at the author, and completely anxious and worried that my first and my only child (who we planned would be an only child) would grow up to be eve I read this when my first and only child was 4 months old. It was a quick read, and since I my husband was still at work and I was on maternity leave - every single time she was ungrateful for something her husband did that I would be ever so relieved my husband would even think about - ALL I COULD FEEL WAS RESENTFUL. Resentful at my husband, resentful at the author, and completely anxious and worried that my first and my only child (who we planned would be an only child) would grow up to be every bit as spoiled and ungrateful as the author in her adult life. The only welcoming portion of the book that I realized made me radically different (and therefore, we all are going to have a different second nine months experience) was that I did not sob my eyeballs out when I went back to work. And I realized that I was actually nowhere near as miserable as the author was even now (my daughter is now 5.) - despite the fact that my husband maybe only contributed 20% of what hers did. I loved every second of the first year of my daughter's life and I had a job that allowed me to relish in my time at home and snap plenty of pictures. The book in some ways gives me a balanced look at everything. There are some things that some moms find harder than others. And there are times you absolutely need to give yourself a pat on the back (no one else is going to, so you better steal it now.) I am glad I read it just because it did make me realize that not all moms are the same. But it did not resonate me with me at all.

  24. 4 out of 5

    Maiga Milbourne

    Vicki is hilarious. It's odd reading a really personal memoir written by a friend-- but also that much more valuable. This is such an incredible resource for all women, whether they are mothers or not. Vicki honestly shares about the challenges of motherhood, and how important it is to be able to talk about this struggle without worrying someone will call Child Services! I had just finished reading the book when I went to teach a yoga class last night. A first-time mother of a 5 month old came t Vicki is hilarious. It's odd reading a really personal memoir written by a friend-- but also that much more valuable. This is such an incredible resource for all women, whether they are mothers or not. Vicki honestly shares about the challenges of motherhood, and how important it is to be able to talk about this struggle without worrying someone will call Child Services! I had just finished reading the book when I went to teach a yoga class last night. A first-time mother of a 5 month old came to class. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd read this book. She hadn't and asked about it. I began explaining Vicki's journey and how its shape diverged widely from her own expectations of motherhood. This woman didn't leave the studio until we were interrupted a half an hour later. She was so enthused to share how similar her own experience had been. She didn't tell anyone what a struggle it was to find her own space as a mother because she thought something was wrong with her. This is the treasure of Vicki's book-- opening up the space to truly support new parents, with honesty and awareness.

  25. 4 out of 5

    Gayle

    Having just had a baby 3 months ago, I enjoyed Vicki's story. We do get so much mommyhood propaganda about how wonderful everything is going to be, that it's hard to deal with the reality of the negative emotions that come with it, particularly the feeling that you're doing something wrong, that your baby doesn't like you, that you want your old life back and dealing with the crying and lack of sleep. I particularly liked the part at the end where she got really angry about one of those "your ba Having just had a baby 3 months ago, I enjoyed Vicki's story. We do get so much mommyhood propaganda about how wonderful everything is going to be, that it's hard to deal with the reality of the negative emotions that come with it, particularly the feeling that you're doing something wrong, that your baby doesn't like you, that you want your old life back and dealing with the crying and lack of sleep. I particularly liked the part at the end where she got really angry about one of those "your baby this week" e-mails with a link to a list about how everything is sunshine and roses after you have a baby. I have a like/loathe relationship with those e-mails, particularly if I let myself read all of the "My baby is sleeping through the night, has perfect head control, loves tummy time, is practically talking..." comments that make me feel even more like a bad mother than I already do. I appreciated this look at the challenges of new motherhood and was pleased to read that Vicki and baby Blair came out the other side happy and healthy. Importantly, for a new mom, it was a fairly quick read, too!

  26. 5 out of 5

    Kristy

    4/22/09 So per the author request. I am going to read this book past page 4. 4/19/09 So I started reading this book because it was our book club pick of the month (This is a mom's club book club). So I started to read it, I got to page 4 and I thought to myself I cannot read this book. I just lived this within the past 2 years and I am still living it. Why do I want to take the free time I have away from Erika to read about what this woman is doing with her baby - LOL No Way!!! But hey this is just 4/22/09 So per the author request. I am going to read this book past page 4. 4/19/09 So I started reading this book because it was our book club pick of the month (This is a mom's club book club). So I started to read it, I got to page 4 and I thought to myself I cannot read this book. I just lived this within the past 2 years and I am still living it. Why do I want to take the free time I have away from Erika to read about what this woman is doing with her baby - LOL No Way!!! But hey this is just my opinion. My friend Alli read it in 2 days and loved it. I think I would have liked to read this when I was pregnant. So for all you ladies out there that are pregant or want to have children one day - read this book. I think I will pick this book up again when Erika is off to college.

  27. 4 out of 5

    Erin Richwine

    I thoroughly enjoyed this book! It was a very realistic view of how motherhood is in comparison to what one might expect or read about in parenting books. I was warned ahead of time (before my son was born) how difficult the first few weeks/months were going to be, and the author's comedic take on this time was both hilarious to read as well as very relatable. I found myself, more than once, saying to myself, "Yep! That's exactly how I felt or what I went through!" Although I never got to the po I thoroughly enjoyed this book! It was a very realistic view of how motherhood is in comparison to what one might expect or read about in parenting books. I was warned ahead of time (before my son was born) how difficult the first few weeks/months were going to be, and the author's comedic take on this time was both hilarious to read as well as very relatable. I found myself, more than once, saying to myself, "Yep! That's exactly how I felt or what I went through!" Although I never got to the point where I wanted to put my baby in a microwave, I can understand what she went through. And, I can honestly say I don't feel like I had it nearly as bad as she did with the baby's crying. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is pregnant, a brand new parent, or just needs a little laughter in their life.

  28. 5 out of 5

    Gail

    Quick read - finished it in two days. I like her writing style, it was very captivating. Also, if you don't have kids/are considering having kids this book is likely to freak you out a bit. I don't have my own yet, but I have worked with kids for 10 years. What she said has not surprised me knowing how hard kids can be at times. And I agree that a lot of the images of motherhood thrown at women are full of it. I also worked in child welfare for a while, so not even her confessions of resisting t Quick read - finished it in two days. I like her writing style, it was very captivating. Also, if you don't have kids/are considering having kids this book is likely to freak you out a bit. I don't have my own yet, but I have worked with kids for 10 years. What she said has not surprised me knowing how hard kids can be at times. And I agree that a lot of the images of motherhood thrown at women are full of it. I also worked in child welfare for a while, so not even her confessions of resisting the urge to shake the baby or wanting to leave her baby at the store surprised me (because I've heard plenty of stories about people who actually do those things). But it definitely makes you think about the realities of having a baby beyond the hormonal wanting one right now.

  29. 5 out of 5

    Katherine

    I feel funny assigning stars to someone's memoir for some reason...I thought this book was very funny and moving. I could relate to much of what the writer went through with a newborn. I especially loved in the beginning of the book where she talked about her feelings the first day she was alone w/the baby when the grandparents were gone & her husband was back at work. I also appreciated hearing about someone else's struggles with breastfeeding, instead of feeling like I'm one of the few who fou I feel funny assigning stars to someone's memoir for some reason...I thought this book was very funny and moving. I could relate to much of what the writer went through with a newborn. I especially loved in the beginning of the book where she talked about her feelings the first day she was alone w/the baby when the grandparents were gone & her husband was back at work. I also appreciated hearing about someone else's struggles with breastfeeding, instead of feeling like I'm one of the few who found it difficult. I couldn't put it down, I read it in three days! I wish I had written this book!

  30. 5 out of 5

    Miranda

    Very honest, and often hilarious, sometimes could be considered offensive by some. This is validation for every new mom who has struggled, but if you haven't had a baby yet, don't read this, lest it discourage you from having one. It kind of only shows the negative side of having a baby, and I think there are more rewards than she shares with her journey, but I also identified with so many of her feelings ("yes! that's exactly how it is!" which is of course what makes any comedy funny - it's the Very honest, and often hilarious, sometimes could be considered offensive by some. This is validation for every new mom who has struggled, but if you haven't had a baby yet, don't read this, lest it discourage you from having one. It kind of only shows the negative side of having a baby, and I think there are more rewards than she shares with her journey, but I also identified with so many of her feelings ("yes! that's exactly how it is!" which is of course what makes any comedy funny - it's the things everyone was thinking but everyone was afraid to say), though I don't act on them in the same blatant way she seemed to.

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