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Dead Vampires Don't Date

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Kate Storm is your typical everyday mortal witch. She owns her own matchmaking business, hangs out with her vampire best friend, Morgan and enjoys the company of Big Al, her hit man channeling Chihuahua. Plus there’s a certain demon that she has her eye on. Life is pretty good until her first important non-human client winds up dead and his body is dumped at her back door. Kate Storm is your typical everyday mortal witch. She owns her own matchmaking business, hangs out with her vampire best friend, Morgan and enjoys the company of Big Al, her hit man channeling Chihuahua. Plus there’s a certain demon that she has her eye on. Life is pretty good until her first important non-human client winds up dead and his body is dumped at her back door. Turns out, disposing of the body is the least of her problems. Kate will have to find the true killer if she wants to save her business and her life. And her new found witchy detective skills may not be enough to save her, especially if the demon is involved.


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Kate Storm is your typical everyday mortal witch. She owns her own matchmaking business, hangs out with her vampire best friend, Morgan and enjoys the company of Big Al, her hit man channeling Chihuahua. Plus there’s a certain demon that she has her eye on. Life is pretty good until her first important non-human client winds up dead and his body is dumped at her back door. Kate Storm is your typical everyday mortal witch. She owns her own matchmaking business, hangs out with her vampire best friend, Morgan and enjoys the company of Big Al, her hit man channeling Chihuahua. Plus there’s a certain demon that she has her eye on. Life is pretty good until her first important non-human client winds up dead and his body is dumped at her back door. Turns out, disposing of the body is the least of her problems. Kate will have to find the true killer if she wants to save her business and her life. And her new found witchy detective skills may not be enough to save her, especially if the demon is involved.

30 review for Dead Vampires Don't Date

  1. 5 out of 5

    Runningrabbit

    16/02/2017 I forgot I had had a go a this one before. We'll see where I get to this time, eh? I absolutely couldn't stand this. It was just too annoying. She was gormless, her grandmother was irritating, and the chihuahua was so incredibly outrageously daggy and over-characterised that he should have been kicked into the wall never to be heard from again. Every spoken word that fell out of his mouth was just too cliched to be even remotely bearable. I might have got to chapter 2 or 3 after I tried 16/02/2017 I forgot I had had a go a this one before. We'll see where I get to this time, eh? I absolutely couldn't stand this. It was just too annoying. She was gormless, her grandmother was irritating, and the chihuahua was so incredibly outrageously daggy and over-characterised that he should have been kicked into the wall never to be heard from again. Every spoken word that fell out of his mouth was just too cliched to be even remotely bearable. I might have got to chapter 2 or 3 after I tried to give it a go, holding my breath that it just might improved. I was wrong.

  2. 4 out of 5

    Phyllis

    I expected to gobble this book down like a bag of peanut M&Ms. It promised to be a humorous paranormal romance. Instead I found myself slowing down and savoring it like a box of artisan chocolate truffles. Don't get me wrong, this book sparkles with humor; it has a great feisty heroine in the matchmaker witch, Kate. The sexual tension between Kate and the new demon in town is flaming hot. The plot involves a murder which Kate and her best undead friend forever, Morgan, try to solve. It was every I expected to gobble this book down like a bag of peanut M&Ms. It promised to be a humorous paranormal romance. Instead I found myself slowing down and savoring it like a box of artisan chocolate truffles. Don't get me wrong, this book sparkles with humor; it has a great feisty heroine in the matchmaker witch, Kate. The sexual tension between Kate and the new demon in town is flaming hot. The plot involves a murder which Kate and her best undead friend forever, Morgan, try to solve. It was everything that I expected. What I didn't expect was the intense pleasure I took in the writing itself. Ms. Connors writes with a zeal and joy, which is rare. The second book can't come fast enough.

  3. 5 out of 5

    ✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)

    To be honest, I didn't have time to review this book right after I read it and simply can't remember what it was about. Bad sign isn't it? I've just read the synopsis and while it did give me a general idea about the book I still haven't a clue about the story and/or any of the characters. Oh well, I gave the book a two-star rating at the time so I can't have been terribly impressed! To be honest, I didn't have time to review this book right after I read it and simply can't remember what it was about. Bad sign isn't it? I've just read the synopsis and while it did give me a general idea about the book I still haven't a clue about the story and/or any of the characters. Oh well, I gave the book a two-star rating at the time so I can't have been terribly impressed!

  4. 4 out of 5

    Devon

    Its only 190 pages and I still DNF at 32%. This book reminded me of a darker time when there wasn't as many well written options in the PNR genre. Now we demand more thoughtful character development, world building and if we're lucky, alittle depth. We deserve that, dont we? The author asked much of my suspension of disbelief. Vampires, witches, demons? Yes please, I'm literally here for it!....but I was pulled from the fantasy when the MC, Kate, informs us her Mom is Samantha from the tv show, B Its only 190 pages and I still DNF at 32%. This book reminded me of a darker time when there wasn't as many well written options in the PNR genre. Now we demand more thoughtful character development, world building and if we're lucky, alittle depth. We deserve that, dont we? The author asked much of my suspension of disbelief. Vampires, witches, demons? Yes please, I'm literally here for it!....but I was pulled from the fantasy when the MC, Kate, informs us her Mom is Samantha from the tv show, Bewitched (not the actress Elizabeth Montgomery who played her, but the character). It also felt like a cop-out for having to show or explain anything of these witch powers herself because now we can picture the TV show. Character concepts were fine in theory but were ultimately so one dimensional they became caricatures....the vampire best friend, Morgan-a who is based on Blood Rayne and our demon love interest, Ash, who EXCLUSIVELY wears leather vests with no shirt underneath...and why do male demons have hair but we're told female demons only have head spikes? Also! The MC mentions her aunt being at Queen Elizabeth the 1st's wedding...even though Queen Elizabeth I VERY FAMOUSLY never got married. Google exists, so that just felt lazy. Sucks because this was a cute--although admittedly unoriginal--concept and I was optimistically looking forward to the series. Oh. Well. P.S. This got 2 stars instead of 1, because I LOVE when the demonic hero actually has horns. Call me a weirdo, but vampires should have fangs, werewolves should howl at the full-moon, and hot demon boyfriends should come with horns!

  5. 5 out of 5

    Krystyna

    Body dump Love the story! Can she solve the body dumping murder? The characters are great and Big Al is my favourite. The plot is good with plenty of humour / banter with paranormal mixed in and well worth reading. Recommended.

  6. 4 out of 5

    Tiffany Williams

    Dead Vampires Don't Date It was a quick and easy read. Great book for vacations. I will be reading the next one! Thank you for the great read! Dead Vampires Don't Date It was a quick and easy read. Great book for vacations. I will be reading the next one! Thank you for the great read!

  7. 5 out of 5

    Amy H

    This was a great book to read. I think i will also put this under my chick lit category because it easily could pass as one. Kate is a half witch. She has her own business as a match maker. That was a family curse. They would could find true love anywhere. except when her witch family found true love, the men seem to die. Kate has a best friend named Morgan. She is a vampire, and would do anything for her. They go clubbing all the time, and discuss different things that they want to do. Kate foun This was a great book to read. I think i will also put this under my chick lit category because it easily could pass as one. Kate is a half witch. She has her own business as a match maker. That was a family curse. They would could find true love anywhere. except when her witch family found true love, the men seem to die. Kate has a best friend named Morgan. She is a vampire, and would do anything for her. They go clubbing all the time, and discuss different things that they want to do. Kate found herself found of a certain demon. She couldn't stop thinking about him, and she knew that she couldn't have him because of the curse. Kate had an appointment with the prince of vampires. She was going to find his true love for him. except he wanted to date a human. She was not sure of that. Yes, she match made for humans, but she never mixed the two because they don't end well. So, Kate told the prince that she would see what she has, and would be in touch. The only problem was that the prince was staked outside of her business. he was dead. this was bad. So, she did what any girl would do. her and her best friend Morgan went and buried the body. She was not going to die for something that she knew she would loose when she was the last person who saw him alive. Kate will find herself in a bind when the prince's body guard came around asking questions. He is going to find out where the prince was, and he made it known that Kate was the number one suspect. Now Kate and Morgan are going to have to go around all these bars to figure out who knew anything about the prince and who would want him dead. you will be amazed about what you are going to find out. meanwhile, this demon keeps following Kate around, and she is starting to get mixed feelings. She thinks this demon was more then just a one night stand. She found out this demon is the lord of all of the demons, and he wanted her. Kate will find herself in a bind, and now someone wants to kill her. After being attacked, this demon named ash will no protect her no matter what. Kate and Morgan found out who killed the prince, but it will come with a price. will the be ready to defeat this killer, or will it kill them first

  8. 5 out of 5

    Relina Skye

    "Dead Vampires Don't Date" by Meredith Allen Conner is the first book in the Kate Storm series. Kate is a size 10-12 cursed mortal witch who specializes in matchmaking. Ironically, her curse involves never finding a lover that will survive the relationship. After the death of one of her boyfriends, she decided that she was never going to date again. Which is fine, she has her business, an immortal vampire best friend, an awesome aunt, and a dog who is possessed by a hit man who is always crushin "Dead Vampires Don't Date" by Meredith Allen Conner is the first book in the Kate Storm series. Kate is a size 10-12 cursed mortal witch who specializes in matchmaking. Ironically, her curse involves never finding a lover that will survive the relationship. After the death of one of her boyfriends, she decided that she was never going to date again. Which is fine, she has her business, an immortal vampire best friend, an awesome aunt, and a dog who is possessed by a hit man who is always crushing on her. Than there is Ash. A demon lord who suddenly appears in her life. He's decided that she's going to be his girl, no questions asked, none needed a demon wants what he wants, right? So, that's team Kate. The rest of the plot includes the death of a vampire prince, and the scary assassin who believes Kate had something to do with said prince's death. Overall, this novel is for the type of reader who likes to know exactly what the female protagonist is thinking throughout the entire length of the story. Since this is a series, many questions get left unanswered. For example, why does Ash suddenly appear in Kate's life? Why was Kate's family cursed? Why are demon lords drawn to the women in Kate's family? Which sin is Ash's (since there are seven demon lords, and each of them represents one of the seven deadly sins.) Why was Kate's dog possessed by a New Jersey hitman when she lives in Idaho? Why is Morgan, Kate's best undead friend, special? Will any other members of the vampire royal family investigate what happened to their prince? How did Kate and Morgan become friends? Was Morgan a witch before she became a vampire? Since Morgan is 1,500 years old, is she one of Kate's ancestors? The list goes on, but I'll stop there for now. This novel is a fun read, and if you like stories about witches, vampires and other supernatural creatures you may like it too.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Sadie Forsythe

    This was an entertaining, quick read. Though fairly useless in any sort of combat and therefore unable to do much in terms of defending herself, Kate is a fairly strong character in other respects. She's quick witted, sarcastic, and relatively self assured. I particularly liked that she isn't a stick figure. She's described as a size 10 on a good day. I always appreciate seeing alternative body types (ie, not the anorexic ideal of the modern west) described as equally appealing. There was a lot This was an entertaining, quick read. Though fairly useless in any sort of combat and therefore unable to do much in terms of defending herself, Kate is a fairly strong character in other respects. She's quick witted, sarcastic, and relatively self assured. I particularly liked that she isn't a stick figure. She's described as a size 10 on a good day. I always appreciate seeing alternative body types (ie, not the anorexic ideal of the modern west) described as equally appealing. There was a lot of good humour here and, though no actual sex, a few steamy almost-sex scenes. This does lead me to my one significant complaint about the book though. I don't know if this is the first of a series, but there are quite a few things that are hinted at throughout the entire book, but it ends without any sort of reveal. One of these is why Ash is so interested in Kate to begin with. He purposefully seeks her out, is unusually aggressive in his pursuit of and affection for her, essentially admits to having an ulterior motive (Kate is certain there is one), and he is constantly running off and appearing again, but the reader never discovers why. In fact other than being a distraction from the mystery and adding a little spice he plays almost no role in the book. This only heightens the sense that something important has been left out. Why else is he there? I also thought some of the jokes when a little overboard. For example, the Bewitched connection was just ludicrous. For the most part however, I enjoyed Kate's narrative style. The mystery was fun, though I don't think too many people will be overly surprised by the identity of the culprit. Still, it's an all-in-all good summer read.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Tiblu

    Tried to get into it but COULD NOT!!! I really,really wanted to like this book but I can't stand books/Stories where their is more inner monologue than outer dialogue :( Yes,yes we Need to know our Heroine's thoughts but when we hear more her thoughts ( that btw the way are kinda rambling and all over the place at times ) that last for 3-4 pages and the dialogue barely lasts a page ? That gets OLD fast! I like fun quirky characters,but Brie me there was too much quirk and too little true characte Tried to get into it but COULD NOT!!! I really,really wanted to like this book but I can't stand books/Stories where their is more inner monologue than outer dialogue :( Yes,yes we Need to know our Heroine's thoughts but when we hear more her thoughts ( that btw the way are kinda rambling and all over the place at times ) that last for 3-4 pages and the dialogue barely lasts a page ? That gets OLD fast! I like fun quirky characters,but Brie me there was too much quirk and too little true character... I mean your Chihuahua channeling th ghost of a hit man,ok but said Ghost having a crush is n you and wanting to help was your back in the shower or bath wanting see you naked and such ? That's just too weird... And then really redundant at other times like how many times do you need to tell us Morgan the Vampire is your UDBF? Seriously?!? Vamp. Or No cant she just be your Best Friend ? Read a book recently where a she wolf had a Vamp. Who was her Gay best friend but with very flamboyant personally , gay was soo obvious all she needed to say was Yet again Best Friend/BF that's all.. Something's seemed over explained and redundant ,while others didn't seemed to be questions Ned like they should,like Vamp. Prince comes for appointment then hours later not only is he dead but on her doorstep .. But Why? She never seems to ask,why is he dead? Who killed him? Why did they kill him? Why dump him on her doorstep ? No,her 1st those that is go bury the body. What the heck ? Same with the demon and him seeming to want her. No questions just avoidance and denial... Which oddly is what I wish I'd done with this book...

  11. 5 out of 5

    Krissys

    This book really screams Practical Magic to me as if the author saw the movie and then wrote a book and mixed a few details and character stories up but wound up with basically the same result. That aside, I still enjoyed the light hearted story and the fanciful fun characters. I think many can and will enjoy this book, there is a lot of silly and sweet additions that make it entertaining for anyone that wants something that isn't full of the drama. This book really screams Practical Magic to me as if the author saw the movie and then wrote a book and mixed a few details and character stories up but wound up with basically the same result. That aside, I still enjoyed the light hearted story and the fanciful fun characters. I think many can and will enjoy this book, there is a lot of silly and sweet additions that make it entertaining for anyone that wants something that isn't full of the drama.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Claire Riley

    This was a great paranormal-comedy-romance. The humour really tickled me at times, and the sexy scenes, what can I say? Sweet Glinda! Phew, they were hot. The world that Meredith haas built is brilliant, edgy but built on humour, and with believable characterss that I fell in-love with. My only problem was that I wanted something more. But I'm not sure more of what. There didn't seem to be enough romance, or enough blood and gore, yet it kept teasing us with it. It left me feeling at times as frust This was a great paranormal-comedy-romance. The humour really tickled me at times, and the sexy scenes, what can I say? Sweet Glinda! Phew, they were hot. The world that Meredith haas built is brilliant, edgy but built on humour, and with believable characterss that I fell in-love with. My only problem was that I wanted something more. But I'm not sure more of what. There didn't seem to be enough romance, or enough blood and gore, yet it kept teasing us with it. It left me feeling at times as frustrated as poor Kate! Without doubt though I will be buying the next in the series. meredith is clearly a very skilled writer and I can't wait to see what happens next in this series.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Cher

    Perfect light read that brings many smiles. After reading a few heavy and intense books, I really wanted something a bit lighter in nature. Allen Conner did not disappoint. I enjoyed the humor concerning a certain little dog. Genius and original on that one. So many books dealing with otherworldly storylines seem to use the same formula over and over. I enjoyed this so much for the Author's ability to give me something original. For a mystery, with wit, laughter, and love.....This is the perfect Perfect light read that brings many smiles. After reading a few heavy and intense books, I really wanted something a bit lighter in nature. Allen Conner did not disappoint. I enjoyed the humor concerning a certain little dog. Genius and original on that one. So many books dealing with otherworldly storylines seem to use the same formula over and over. I enjoyed this so much for the Author's ability to give me something original. For a mystery, with wit, laughter, and love.....This is the perfect choice. Well Done.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Lady

    This was a very charming book. I loved the fast paced action and the quirky characters :) Usually I am leery of "matchmaker" themed books but I am very glad I took a chance on this one. The supernatural elements almost seem commonplace and the snarky humor is great :) You almost feel like it is your world also... just a side most people are not lucky enough to see. I can not wait to read more of this series!!! ** this book is suitable for adults only!!! This was a very charming book. I loved the fast paced action and the quirky characters :) Usually I am leery of "matchmaker" themed books but I am very glad I took a chance on this one. The supernatural elements almost seem commonplace and the snarky humor is great :) You almost feel like it is your world also... just a side most people are not lucky enough to see. I can not wait to read more of this series!!! ** this book is suitable for adults only!!!

  15. 4 out of 5

    Kyra Dunst

    This book was uproariously funny. Kate is cursed in love, but she runs a successful match making service. When a high profile client ends up dead on her doorstep, she has to scramble to stay alive. This book has tons of humor, crazy situations, and a spicy romance worth fighting a curse for. There is so much to love about this book.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Julianna

    Great free read, and debut novel i believe. Loved her relationship with Ash and am hoping there is another book so that i can find out more about them, as well as what will happen with her friend and the man she met:) I also thought that Al was awesome and a great supporting character so hopefully we can find out more about him too! Highly recommended!!!

  17. 4 out of 5

    Alissa

    This was a fun, quick read, full of enough UST and wit to have me turning pages late into the night. Kate kept me smiling. The possessed chihuahua kept me laughing. And the fiery Ash had me sighing until the end. Throw in an undead BFF, and what more could I ask for? Oh right. A sequel. I sure hope one is on the way.

  18. 4 out of 5

    Tamaryn

    Yes it was fluff and no it wasn't a literary masterpiece, but I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It was humorous and kept me turning the pages - what more do you want? I look forward to future books by this author. Yes it was fluff and no it wasn't a literary masterpiece, but I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It was humorous and kept me turning the pages - what more do you want? I look forward to future books by this author.

  19. 4 out of 5

    Kristin

    There were aspects that didn't thrill me, but it's not terrible. I'll keep the others on my list but I probably won't get to them soon. There were aspects that didn't thrill me, but it's not terrible. I'll keep the others on my list but I probably won't get to them soon.

  20. 5 out of 5

    Barbara Silvestro

    Fun & sexy little read Love the characters, a mystery , supernatural characters and a little romance,,, what's not to like? Made me laugh out loud a few times too. Fun & sexy little read Love the characters, a mystery , supernatural characters and a little romance,,, what's not to like? Made me laugh out loud a few times too.

  21. 5 out of 5

    JJBMocha

    fun fun fun I hope there would be the next book because I would love to know what happens with Kate and Ash :)

  22. 4 out of 5

    Carlybaby

    Really tried to get into this book and Ash almost had me, but this heroine is so whiny and boring and if I hear one more self deprecating blond joke I'm gonna hurl. Not for me this series. Really tried to get into this book and Ash almost had me, but this heroine is so whiny and boring and if I hear one more self deprecating blond joke I'm gonna hurl. Not for me this series.

  23. 4 out of 5

    Leo Laursen

    After the first chapter, I couldn't make myself read anymore. I don't really know why. Maybe I'm lacking a sense of humor. After the first chapter, I couldn't make myself read anymore. I don't really know why. Maybe I'm lacking a sense of humor.

  24. 4 out of 5

    Michael

    Fun ! I enjoyed this easy and fun romance. A Fun world to imagine and great characters. Looking forward to more from her.

  25. 5 out of 5

    Tricia Thompson

  26. 4 out of 5

    Elizabeth Allen

  27. 5 out of 5

    Carol Nemeth

  28. 4 out of 5

    Julia Red Hatter Book Blog

  29. 4 out of 5

    Amber Tate-Bird

  30. 5 out of 5

    Susan

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