web site hit counter Pursuing Peace: A Christian Guide to Handling Our Conflicts - Ebooks PDF Online
Hot Best Seller

Pursuing Peace: A Christian Guide to Handling Our Conflicts

Availability: Ready to download

A Guide to Resolving Relational Conflict You have conflict in your life--we all do. You encounter it in your home, your workplace, your school, or even your church. All around us tensions exist and disputes persist. Offered here is a step-by-step process for pursuing peace in ALL your relationships and a tool you can use to help others. This guide is: BIBLICAL -- relies on th A Guide to Resolving Relational Conflict You have conflict in your life--we all do. You encounter it in your home, your workplace, your school, or even your church. All around us tensions exist and disputes persist. Offered here is a step-by-step process for pursuing peace in ALL your relationships and a tool you can use to help others. This guide is: BIBLICAL -- relies on the absolute authority, sufficiency, and life-giving power of God's Spirit-breathed Word CHRIST-CENTERED -- depends on the forgiving and empowering grace of Jesus PRACTICAL -- provides concrete action steps, case examples, discussion questions, and suggested language to handle specific situations PROVEN -- offers tried-and-true methods from a pastor, professor, counselor, and certified Christian conciliator who has led couples, churches, and Christian schools to make peace for over twenty-five years Packed with wisdom and practical techniques, this manageable book on reconciliation will send you on your way to pursuing peace while helping others to do the same.


Compare

A Guide to Resolving Relational Conflict You have conflict in your life--we all do. You encounter it in your home, your workplace, your school, or even your church. All around us tensions exist and disputes persist. Offered here is a step-by-step process for pursuing peace in ALL your relationships and a tool you can use to help others. This guide is: BIBLICAL -- relies on th A Guide to Resolving Relational Conflict You have conflict in your life--we all do. You encounter it in your home, your workplace, your school, or even your church. All around us tensions exist and disputes persist. Offered here is a step-by-step process for pursuing peace in ALL your relationships and a tool you can use to help others. This guide is: BIBLICAL -- relies on the absolute authority, sufficiency, and life-giving power of God's Spirit-breathed Word CHRIST-CENTERED -- depends on the forgiving and empowering grace of Jesus PRACTICAL -- provides concrete action steps, case examples, discussion questions, and suggested language to handle specific situations PROVEN -- offers tried-and-true methods from a pastor, professor, counselor, and certified Christian conciliator who has led couples, churches, and Christian schools to make peace for over twenty-five years Packed with wisdom and practical techniques, this manageable book on reconciliation will send you on your way to pursuing peace while helping others to do the same.

30 review for Pursuing Peace: A Christian Guide to Handling Our Conflicts

  1. 5 out of 5

    Emily Koopmann

    Pushed through to finish this so I could leave this garbage in the garbage year of 2020. The last chapter was halfway decent, but the book borderline excuses abuse, victim blames, and has a very unnatural rhythm that leads readers to think there is a 3-5 step Jesus-approved process to approach conflict, hurt, and forgiveness. Life just doesn't work like that and the evangelical push to make it so is SUPER harmful. Pushed through to finish this so I could leave this garbage in the garbage year of 2020. The last chapter was halfway decent, but the book borderline excuses abuse, victim blames, and has a very unnatural rhythm that leads readers to think there is a 3-5 step Jesus-approved process to approach conflict, hurt, and forgiveness. Life just doesn't work like that and the evangelical push to make it so is SUPER harmful.

  2. 5 out of 5

    Priscilla

    A lot of practical and biblical advice on peace-making, dealing with conflict, and the heart issues that cause division.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Sam

    Super practical and clear. I think a lot of counseling books include too many stories. While Dr. Jones do include stories, he doesn't include too many to lose his main points. Super practical and clear. I think a lot of counseling books include too many stories. While Dr. Jones do include stories, he doesn't include too many to lose his main points.

  4. 4 out of 5

    Shane Williamson

    This is generally a decent book to read on the matter of pursuing peace, proving to be somewhat helpful. Two thoughts: I found it to be a bit programmatic and artificially structured: “seven ways to do x”, “3 ways to do y”, and “five ways to pursue z”. I would find it difficult to ensure I followed each step directly and sequentially given that life is much more complex and disorderly than this book assumes. Second, I felt like the chapters drifted a bit from the main concern which ought to have This is generally a decent book to read on the matter of pursuing peace, proving to be somewhat helpful. Two thoughts: I found it to be a bit programmatic and artificially structured: “seven ways to do x”, “3 ways to do y”, and “five ways to pursue z”. I would find it difficult to ensure I followed each step directly and sequentially given that life is much more complex and disorderly than this book assumes. Second, I felt like the chapters drifted a bit from the main concern which ought to have been handling conflict. The chapters were solid, but they didn't tie in with the overarching purpose as well as they could have.

  5. 4 out of 5

    Brian Pate

    Excellent manual on handling conflict, including chapters on idols of the heart, forgiveness, and confronting. This is a book I will keep within reach so I can reference it in counseling or personal situations. I read it in preparation for RTIM's missionary orientation where Dr. Jones taught us on handling conflicts. Excellent manual on handling conflict, including chapters on idols of the heart, forgiveness, and confronting. This is a book I will keep within reach so I can reference it in counseling or personal situations. I read it in preparation for RTIM's missionary orientation where Dr. Jones taught us on handling conflicts.

  6. 4 out of 5

    Samuel

    An excellent book on how to reconcile relationships according to Scripture. Jones makes very strong practical points throughout. I have to give this book a knock down simply because I had a hard time tracking his line of thought. It felt as if the book was a little disjointed in its delivery. The content is still very good and immensely helpful.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Mike

    Strained marriage, disgruntled co-worker, tension in the home, irritated by the kids, the list can go on, and on, and on. You get the picture. We live in a fallen world, which affects our relationships. If there is one thing that can keep a person up at night, it is a strained relationship. Controlling thoughts about the other person, guilt, anxiety, and frustration from a damaged relationship certainly need resolution. This is where Pursuing Peace stands above the many other voices vying for ou Strained marriage, disgruntled co-worker, tension in the home, irritated by the kids, the list can go on, and on, and on. You get the picture. We live in a fallen world, which affects our relationships. If there is one thing that can keep a person up at night, it is a strained relationship. Controlling thoughts about the other person, guilt, anxiety, and frustration from a damaged relationship certainly need resolution. This is where Pursuing Peace stands above the many other voices vying for our affections during times of conflict. Some books are worth skimming, some are worth a closer look, others worth soaking in, and yet others deserve regular review. Pursuing Peace is the latter. It is Biblical, Christ-centered, practical and contains proven wisdom. Pursue Peace or Bust What happens when people do not pursue peace? Dr. Robert Jones says, “Relationships wither without it.” Of course, you know this is true, I know this is true, and Jones certainly knows it, but we often fail to pursue it. If we are to stop faking peace and start pursuing it, this is the book to read. Inside, you will find solid biblical advice unfolded in three steps. Step 1 – Please God; Step 2 – Repent; and Step 3 – Love (13). Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? But when it comes to relationships, things can get sticky. This is where Jones’ seasoned wisdom shines as he connects theology and real-life. Begin with Pleasing God With wisdom and sincerity, Jones begins by focusing on God, specifically the God of peace. He presents peacemaking as a mega theme within Scripture, which connects “our relationships-with God and with others” (18). This theme captured my attention from the beginning of the book. I live in the real world and want to read books that connect Scripture to real life. Jones strategically helps his readers see interpersonal conflict and peace through the lens of the Gospel. He teaches readers to expect conflict because, in a sinful world, conflict is inevitable. Furthermore, he presents lasting biblical wisdom for not only resolving conflicts, but even embracing them as divinely-appointed opportunities (30-38). Jones reminds us that the first objective in resolving conflict is to please God. Pleasing God must be the first and foundational goal before attempting any type of reconciliation. Pleasing God, rather than other people, should be our highest aim in life (49). He also helps the reader understand what occurs when someone or something other than Christ captivates our heart. He illustrates these run amuck desires through “the throne-staircase diagram,” which pictures Christ on the throne and our run-away desires attempting to dethrone Him (65). If you are a counselor, pastor, Sunday school teacher, or small group leader, this diagram will prove an invaluable tool to your ministry. This is one of several counseling instruments detailed throughout the book. Recognizing Our Sin – Repent Much conflict exists because we neither see the planks in our own eyes, nor understand how to work toward reconciliation with those we have wronged. Rather than peace, we are plagued with grudges and bitterness for years. Situations arise, people are offended, forgiveness is not sought, and everyone goes on as if nothing occurred. Jones points out, “No relationship-marital, parental or otherwise- will flourish if an offended partner doubts the offender’s sorrow or his willingness to take responsibility for his actions” (75). He proceeds to unpack how to remove the planks that blind us, so we are free to ask and grant forgiveness as necessary. Furthermore, he carefully dissects the anatomy of an apology, helping readers discover the path of genuine reconciliation. (76, 83-86). Things like, “I was drunk, it was actually your fault, I love you, it was the PMS talking, I am sorry, but…” are tragic substitutes for a sincere apology (90-91). Like a good shepherd, Jones steers readers away from these errors and directs us toward a healthy recognition our own sin, our ongoing need for repentance, and provides many tools to ask for forgiveness when we fail our neighbors. Love Wins, for Real As our author begins to land the plane, he enters the third step of loving people and addresses our attitudes, forgiveness, comfort, and serving others (168). The final chapters contain an invaluable counseling tool that I have utilized in the past. It is a chart based on Luke 6:27-36 that outlines the phrases, “Do good, Bless, Pray.” This chart helps readers think through how they can practically do good to others, what it means to bless another person, and how to pray for others. This type of counsel is good medicine for anyone facing relational conflicts and battling bitterness. This book is a priceless tool for the church. I would confidently recommend this book to anyone; believers as well as non-believers. The clean division into twelve chapters makes Pursuing Peace an excellent resource for group discipleship or one-on-one counseling. Jones takes deep theology and applies the truths to everyday life. He is faithful to the text and maintains a clear reading style. I simply could not want more. Buy it, read it, re-read it, pass it out, and most importantly, Pursue Peace.

  8. 5 out of 5

    Rex Blackburn

    Seemed to be a bit repetitive, but still good. Very helpful on the two levels of forgiveness (ch. 8).

  9. 5 out of 5

    Bradley

    This book is deeply biblical, simply structured, and extremely helpful for counseling. Any reader cannot miss that Dr. Jones intertwines true relational peace with Biblical truth. Do not let this short book fool you, it provides a practically helpful yet in-depth overview of relational change; it is filled with biblical wisdom and will be a resource I turn to in the future when I or others need to review or be taught how to be a peacemaker. By the grace of God, may we pursue relational peace wit This book is deeply biblical, simply structured, and extremely helpful for counseling. Any reader cannot miss that Dr. Jones intertwines true relational peace with Biblical truth. Do not let this short book fool you, it provides a practically helpful yet in-depth overview of relational change; it is filled with biblical wisdom and will be a resource I turn to in the future when I or others need to review or be taught how to be a peacemaker. By the grace of God, may we pursue relational peace with others. Book structure to follow: Chapter one explains that true peace with other humans (horizontal) stems from an individuals peace with God (vertical). Chapters 2 rightly explains that, because we live in a fallen world, conflict is inevitable, sinful, and an opportunity to grow. Peacemaking has three steps. First, the commitment to please God (Ch. 3). Second, identifying, repenting of, and confessing heart and behavioral sins to God and to man (Chs. 4-6). Third, pursuing key attitudes (Ch. 7) like the attitudinal and granted levels of forgiveness (Chs. 8-9). Chapter 10 discusses how and when to confront another individual and chapter 11 discusses how to serve other individuals. Chapter 12 gives insight into extremely difficult scenarios where individuals cannot resolve their conflict.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Tim Michiemo

    3.8 Stars A good pastoral treatment on handling conflicts and "pursuing peace." Jones definitely addresses what is the essence of handling conflict and fogiving others, which is understanding how much God has given us peace and forgiven us our debts. Jones emphasizes this redemptive reality rightly but perhaps goes too far into specifics, steps, and situations. A good book that could have been 1/4 of the length. 3.8 Stars A good pastoral treatment on handling conflicts and "pursuing peace." Jones definitely addresses what is the essence of handling conflict and fogiving others, which is understanding how much God has given us peace and forgiven us our debts. Jones emphasizes this redemptive reality rightly but perhaps goes too far into specifics, steps, and situations. A good book that could have been 1/4 of the length.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Craig Turnbull

    An exceptionally helpful book outlining God's plan for conflict resolution. Jones' very practical steps outline the biblical theology behind forgiveness, as well as the nuts and bolts of how to reconcile. His emphasis on the vertical relationship made the book a worthwhile read alone. An exceptionally helpful book outlining God's plan for conflict resolution. Jones' very practical steps outline the biblical theology behind forgiveness, as well as the nuts and bolts of how to reconcile. His emphasis on the vertical relationship made the book a worthwhile read alone.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Katie

    Good biblical information about how to handle conflicts, but the entire book was in an outline format and drove me insane every time I saw another chapter outline such as "topic a, subtopic 1, point 2". Good biblical information about how to handle conflicts, but the entire book was in an outline format and drove me insane every time I saw another chapter outline such as "topic a, subtopic 1, point 2".

  13. 5 out of 5

    Lisa Wellman

    Fantastic read on Christian forgiveness This book summarized perfectly why I have taken 15 years to learn through daily scripture reading and prayer. I highly recommend this book to all who consider themselves to be followers of Christ.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Abby

    How timely during this Christmas season when it seems everyone is at odds with everyone-far from being peaceful. I found this book to be convicting and engaging. It did quote frequently from Ken Sande's book that I am still working through which made me appreciate Jones' brevity. How timely during this Christmas season when it seems everyone is at odds with everyone-far from being peaceful. I found this book to be convicting and engaging. It did quote frequently from Ken Sande's book that I am still working through which made me appreciate Jones' brevity.

  15. 4 out of 5

    Trent Thompson

    This book wasn’t bad; much of it was helpful. However some of the counsel in this book came across as being hollow, lacking in completeness. I cannot articulate further at this moment, but I will think about it.

  16. 4 out of 5

    Mark Dunker

    Please God. Repent. Love. This is a simple strategy. Unfortunately, I usually like to insert a different step, “Justify myself.” When in conflict, pleasing God must be my highest desire. This book is worth the time to read.

  17. 5 out of 5

    Mark A Powell

    Forged from biblical convictions and pastoral wisdom; thoroughly practical and Christ-honoring. Easily commended as a valuable resource.

  18. 4 out of 5

    Jake Bishop

    Very good Biblical advice for dealing with conflict.

  19. 4 out of 5

    Allen

    Great book. One I'll try to review at least once a year. Very practical and biblical. Great book. One I'll try to review at least once a year. Very practical and biblical.

  20. 5 out of 5

    Jacob Gaddie

    A great book on how to resolve conflict and restore relationships that have been broken or hurt by sin. This is a must read for believers (especially for new ones)!

  21. 5 out of 5

    Jan Huebner

    So much in this book! Well worth the time.

  22. 4 out of 5

    Talon

    This is a great resource for dealing with conflict resolution. In my opinion, it is a must-read for all Christians.

  23. 4 out of 5

    Marcus Whitson

    A fantastic treatment on biblical conflict resolution, this is a book that every Christian should read as soon as possible!

  24. 5 out of 5

    Lisa Smeaton

    A really great read! A super practical and helpful book, especially for those who need help with not avoiding conflict!!

  25. 4 out of 5

    ryan

    Fantastic Resource on Conflict Resolution Rooted in the Word, the book gives lots of practical helps for helping resolve conflict among believers. A must read!

  26. 4 out of 5

    Reid

    Offered here is a step-by-step process for pursuing peace in ALL your relationships and a tool you can use to help others. This guide is: BIBLICAL -- relies on the absolute authority, sufficiency, and life-giving power of God's Spirit-breathed Word CHRIST-CENTERED -- depends on the forgiving and empowering grace of Jesus PRACTICAL -- provides concrete action steps, case examples, discussion questions, and suggested language to handle specific situations PROVEN -- offers tried-and-true methods fro Offered here is a step-by-step process for pursuing peace in ALL your relationships and a tool you can use to help others. This guide is: BIBLICAL -- relies on the absolute authority, sufficiency, and life-giving power of God's Spirit-breathed Word CHRIST-CENTERED -- depends on the forgiving and empowering grace of Jesus PRACTICAL -- provides concrete action steps, case examples, discussion questions, and suggested language to handle specific situations PROVEN -- offers tried-and-true methods from a pastor, professor, counselor, and certified Christian conciliator who has led couples, churches, and Christian schools to make peace for over twenty-five years Packed with wisdom and practical techniques, this manageable book on reconciliation will send you on your way to pursuing peace while helping others to do the same. The three step model of conflict resolution is summarized below. By the grace of God we are to: 1. Please God (focus on God) God is a God who makes peace with us through the cross of Jesus, pours out his inner peace on us and into us, guarantees a future worldwide peace, and calls and enables us to pursue relational peace with everyone. 2. Repent (focus on me) We are to humbly identify, repent of, and confess our sins - both in our hearts and in our behavioral sins before God and others 3. Love (focus on love) Love the other person through relational graces of forgiveness without bitterness

  27. 4 out of 5

    Scott

    I was very excited to read and review this book published by Crossway and written by Dr. Robert D. Jones. Dr. Jones was my biblical counseling professor at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. He class did not disappoint and neither did this book. "Blessed are the Peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God." Matthew 5:9 This passage from the Sermon on the Mount is the last sentence of this book and it is an appropriate ending. Dr. Jones does a masterful job of dealing with interperson I was very excited to read and review this book published by Crossway and written by Dr. Robert D. Jones. Dr. Jones was my biblical counseling professor at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. He class did not disappoint and neither did this book. "Blessed are the Peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God." Matthew 5:9 This passage from the Sermon on the Mount is the last sentence of this book and it is an appropriate ending. Dr. Jones does a masterful job of dealing with interpersonal conflict from a biblical perspective and gives gospel solutions. If you want to get to the heart of your conflict and not deal superficially merely with outward behavior, this book is perfect for you. The two chapters on forgiveness alone make the book worth far more than the cover price. Dr. Jones helps us understand the two levels of forgiveness as God defines forgiveness. Really what he deals with is forgiveness (my letting go of something) vs. reconciliation (a restored relationship). This second level is contingent upon repentance and mutual working towards the repaired relationship. The book outlines very simply like this: THE PATH FOR PURSUING PEACE Step 1: Please God Step 2: Repent Step 3: Love the Person A. Attitudes of Grace B. Forgive C. Confront D. Serve The chapters of the book expound each of these points in the outline. Each chapter lays out "ministry strategies" that are gospel centered, practical, and to the point. Whether you have conflict in your marriage, with your kids, with co-workers, with you boss, or anywhere, Dr. Jones' book can help you seek peace God's way. There is even a chapter on what to do when all of this doesn't work, which I found refreshing and encouraging knowing that sometimes even after you do all you can do peace is simply not possible. Do yourself a favor and pick up a copy of this book...and read it!

  28. 5 out of 5

    Bluerose's Heart

    This is one of those books that I need to read(and put into practice) more than I want to. While I don't think there was much in here new to me, it did contain many things that I don't think about. It was an eye-opening experience, even if it's advice is HARD to put into practice. There were some points that were repetitive, but I actually appreciate that. I guarantee you I will remember those points made, even when it's time for a re-read. Lord willing, there will be re-reads, since there will a This is one of those books that I need to read(and put into practice) more than I want to. While I don't think there was much in here new to me, it did contain many things that I don't think about. It was an eye-opening experience, even if it's advice is HARD to put into practice. There were some points that were repetitive, but I actually appreciate that. I guarantee you I will remember those points made, even when it's time for a re-read. Lord willing, there will be re-reads, since there will always be conflict! For example, the Bible (and this book) is very clear that if I offend someone, *I* need to make things right with him/her. If someone offends me, then *I* need to make things right with him/her. It's easier to complain a little and attempt to get over it sometimes. It's sinful, though! Again, that's nothing new to any of us, but for me at least, it's something I tend to not think about sometimes. This is an awesome book for dealing with any kind of conflict with any person(in the Christian realm), but it does make a pretty great book on marriage, too. A great deal of examples given were related to married couples. Again, though, it's great for anybody. There's advice on how to give a proper apology. Apparently, that was a lesson I greatly needed to hear. It's important to remember that this book is for Christians. If you try to put into practice some of the advice given with strangers or non-Christians, you might not get a pleasant response. Overall, this is a wonderful, convicting book that will help you deal with the conflict that enters into your life.

  29. 5 out of 5

    Gina Burgess

    If you are looking for advice on how to handle difficult people, you won't find it here. Neither is this a book full of a magic formula in handling conflict with a person who won't reconcile. However, this is an excellent study book for a Bible study group, or even self study in the biblical way to handle conflict. It is all about tending to that plank in your own eye. I disagree that all conflict is sin. All conflict is not sin, as the author seems to suggest. A Christian can only behave for him If you are looking for advice on how to handle difficult people, you won't find it here. Neither is this a book full of a magic formula in handling conflict with a person who won't reconcile. However, this is an excellent study book for a Bible study group, or even self study in the biblical way to handle conflict. It is all about tending to that plank in your own eye. I disagree that all conflict is sin. All conflict is not sin, as the author seems to suggest. A Christian can only behave for himself or herself, and God does not hold us responsible for the hard hearts of others. But, the step by steps in this book are excellent for dealing with others offenses toward you, and how to decide on a heart attitude change by keeping God at the center of the conflict regardless of whether the other person wants to reconcile or not. Jones puts the responsibility right where it belongs upon the Christian who is having conflict. The gist I get is that we are to recognize it truly is not about horizontal relationships, but about our vertical relationship with God. If we are right with Him, then He can trust us to act right with others. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Simple to say, but no so simple to do. I guess that is why we need books like this. If you are a church librarian and reading this, please purchase this for your library. It is a great handbook for a pastor to give church members who are not doing to others as they would be treated. It would be a good church wide study book as just a reminder of how we should act toward each other so that other will recognize Jesus in us.

  30. 4 out of 5

    Kipi

    There are some things that I really liked about this book, but it was hard for me to get past his statements in chapter 2 (A God's-Eye View of Conflict) that "conflicts are sinful" and "conflicts displease God."(p. 35). This could simply be a difference in the way the author defines the word. My impression is that the conflicts to which he is referring are those that lead to "fights and quarrels" (James 4:1), but what about Jesus' conflicts with moneychangers in the temple (John 2) or his confli There are some things that I really liked about this book, but it was hard for me to get past his statements in chapter 2 (A God's-Eye View of Conflict) that "conflicts are sinful" and "conflicts displease God."(p. 35). This could simply be a difference in the way the author defines the word. My impression is that the conflicts to which he is referring are those that lead to "fights and quarrels" (James 4:1), but what about Jesus' conflicts with moneychangers in the temple (John 2) or his conflicts with Pharisees, Sadducees, and teachers of the law throughout the gospels? Were those conflicts "sin"? No, because conflict itself (in my opinion) is not sin; it is our actions within a conflict that have the potential to become sinful. By beginning his book with such a controversial statement, I fear that many people who find themselves trapped in conflicts of various kinds will become discouraged and not get to the good things later in the book because there are some good suggestions here that most Christians will find helpful. Overall, though, I prefer Ken Sande's The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict .

Add a review

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Loading...
We use cookies to give you the best online experience. By using our website you agree to our use of cookies in accordance with our cookie policy.